TAFS | Premium | 07/03/2022
[00:00:38] Yeah, if anyone knows a Delta Blues band.
[00:00:40] If you know, like a Delta Blues black guy.
[00:00:45] I wanted to hire one first as a surprise.
[00:00:51] And if he can double as a pit master as well.
[00:00:54] I thought, you know, I'm always looking for like,
[00:00:59] Do you think a blue scattering is one of your talents?
[00:01:50] I think you're fucking nailed it. Yeah, I don't know something like that. I thought it was pretty good
[00:01:54] Never know I'm like, you know, I'm always
[00:01:57] Throughout my life, especially I was a little kid. I would be like I'm gonna be good at I'm you know trying to sing a well
[00:02:03] Anything you try and you're like maybe I'm good at this and you're always dogs. I'm done karaoke with you
[00:02:08] You're not a bad singer. Yeah, but I anything in my life
[00:02:12] and literally I feel like I'm like net like
[00:02:16] There's like a base level of skill everyone has going into everything like anything I try right
[00:02:22] I'm always like operating 10 15% lower than like from the jump. Yeah, like you know
[00:02:28] You play darts for the first time and maybe it's like you're hitting the wall or something. Uh-huh. I'm stabbing myself in the eye
[00:02:34] But going in I'm like I'm gonna be the James Bond. Yeah, I'm gonna be badass. Yeah
[00:02:40] Have you ever seen clips of professional dart players? I love it. They talk so much shit
[00:02:44] They talk so much shit and they're all different races. Yeah, they're different like European. Yeah. Yeah
[00:02:49] This is like darts for the kind of conflict that we'd have leading into like imperial wars
[00:02:54] Yeah, those like the divide in Europe. Yeah, it was a
[00:03:00] Yeah, so if you know adult a blues guy also welcome to the Adam Friedland show. This is test episode
[00:03:10] We're not maybe a ghost. I'm gonna be able to do the real show until
[00:03:14] Where the studio set up. Yeah. Yeah, so we're gonna do that we're gonna do a test shoot at your friends saying
[00:03:19] Yeah, next week next week. We got a good get a couple of suits
[00:03:22] I got a way to get my keyboard in the eye of a suit. Yeah. Do you have a suit? I got a suit
[00:03:27] But it's not the right it's not funny enough. Yeah, we got to go see you shot one of that yellow
[00:03:32] It's the Steve Harvey shop on Fifth Avenue. We have to go there that place that that sells like hot dogs and nine
[00:03:38] But the suits were that the the place in Penn station for the professional business. I can tycoon of course
[00:03:46] So yeah, we got a couple ideas of how the show's how the show is gonna be structured is we're gonna
[00:03:54] You know the this is play the old black-out sing we'll have him in studio
[00:03:59] Maybe one time. Yeah as the in studio band or you know, I'll just get better at singing
[00:04:03] Maybe you can get it and then I'll riff it every time. Yeah
[00:04:09] That could be like a thing people are like looking forward to like when it makes a new riff is gonna be this
[00:04:14] Follow my journey into getting better at singing. Yeah, that's the real problem is I never stick with anything
[00:04:18] Mm-hmm, you know, I give up you got to access generational pain
[00:04:22] I think that's what you need for the blues
[00:04:25] You need to access the potato farmers who are getting we're getting kicked in the face off the boat and sent to the Civil War
[00:04:34] That's what they were doing black people that made them. They were doing it
[00:04:39] That's how black people invent well actually the Irish invented the blues and then the blacks took it from them like anything else
[00:04:45] basketball for you know, must have sucked have been on like a slave ship to water
[00:04:53] But imagine like you're on the slave ship. That's about to get to America and the Civil War happens
[00:04:58] They're like other summer slavery and then they're like well, I guess we'll just
[00:05:13] Put you back in the jungle and you're like what the fuck was that that sucked what the fuck was I was getting whipped
[00:05:20] Music nobody believes you yeah, it's true. They're like I was on the last boat and they sent us fucking they like returned us
[00:05:26] They kept the receipt and brought us back here. They're like then you're lying. Yeah, your grandpa's lying
[00:05:32] You made it up you ran out on your family. He's just a Nigerian businessman now. Yeah. Yeah, he can't be the now
[00:05:38] He's running scams on the house banned on Adam Friedman show
[00:05:41] He didn't even get to learn how to dunk. Yeah
[00:05:44] Yeah, so yeah, we'll get that guy and you know what maybe I will maybe we'll do like my journey into being the
[00:05:57] Oh the magical the magical ghost the bag of bands. I'll do like a Michael Jackson thing
[00:06:08] Yeah, we gotta have a falsetto version. Yeah, yeah like a like a like a Curtis Mayfield
[00:06:17] I'm your mommy. I'm your daddy. I'm not in the alley want some coke want some weed
[00:06:29] Yeah, now if we could get a delta blues guy that would be perfect and I come mad
[00:06:34] I'm mad. I already kind of blew it by mm-hmm, but I had to give it a shot
[00:06:38] Yeah, you always got to go for it. So the way the show is gonna work. This is a professional show now
[00:06:43] We're putting effort in the show the test show again. It's like we want to bring you guys in on the process
[00:06:48] We debated but Adam wanted the Adam was like let's just take weeks off. We don't wanna
[00:06:56] Yeah, life is not because life is about you got deadlines. I wanted to go on a vacation
[00:07:00] We knew this was coming but you got a what you already have a vacation thing is your vacation is from
[00:07:10] It has been for six years. No, it's not I
[00:07:14] Worked incredibly hard. I never run a business. Yeah, I just don't talk about it. I'll tell you what we get the Adam Friedman show
[00:07:20] Going we get a studio we get video going we're putting out stuff
[00:07:23] There's a little bit more effort that maybe we start taking weeks off at a time
[00:07:28] You know I was I take its book to the Greek Isle of Lesbos
[00:07:33] Yeah, cuz I heard that that's where they invented a eating pussy. Yeah, yeah
[00:07:39] Each episode is going to have a topic because that's what people like they like it when there's a today
[00:07:44] If you have a show that meanders and go all over places say
[00:07:48] What is this just couple guys having a conversation who the hell wants to listen to that?
[00:07:52] No, yeah, that's what held us back with come town
[00:07:54] What what makes television good is that a bunch of people get paid a lot of money
[00:07:59] To come up with the same idea over and over again and produce stuff that no one watch just for a different channel for a different channel
[00:08:07] And that's what we're trying to get with the Adam Friedland show, right?
[00:08:12] So we need suits we need three cameras and like any good show
[00:08:16] We start off at the top of the show with Adam introducing the topic today's test episode be decided topic is gonna be
[00:08:23] Oh, the kids are right the kids are right. Yeah, so go ahead Adam
[00:08:26] They've spent the last two years. Messed. You got to sell this dude to camera. So I'm doing this like a look an NPR
[00:08:32] Kind of I know but no, you're not knowing PR you're gonna be reading this to camera will have prompter. Yeah, so you got a
[00:08:38] You know, we got to get a big one. You gotta seem like you care pretend you're smoking cigarette
[00:08:42] You're more than down in junior and spent the last two years massed learning of 40s guy
[00:08:46] Okay, you're which is not down as you're here is a 40s guy. Yeah, it's a 40s guy who somehow lived in the 80s
[00:08:52] Yeah, and he smokes stoves into the he's convinced himself. He's not gonna get lung cancer even though
[00:08:57] He has a melanoma on his eye there. Yeah, and he gets mad about people
[00:09:00] Disrespecting with flags. Yeah, so that you go they spent the life. Okay. Um, they spent the last two years massed
[00:09:08] These are children in America. I'm talking about the kids. Yeah, they've spent the last two years massed learning to socialize over zoom
[00:09:15] For some of these kids. This was all they knew and for most of them the pandemic was relatively speaking such a massive fraction of their lives
[00:09:23] That most adults can't begin to comprehend the impact
[00:09:33] If this isn't the model, this is just you introducing the top. Okay. I'll see you can there's no jokes in here
[00:09:38] This is you all right. All right. This was I thought you were gonna read through it and then they give you a general idea
[00:09:42] Okay, there's type for what is two years to a 35 year old if lies by just a couple of podcasts and about
[00:09:50] $40,000 worth of cocaine for a child that amounts to a quarter of two and half of their entire lives
[00:09:56] And if they're black 75% of their lives statistically
[00:10:04] Miss read I should have read this through once before yeah, that's why I said you read through it
[00:10:08] We actually we said all this and we said this to each other. We said it to each other. I just forgot. Yeah
[00:10:13] I'm sorry. Okay, and if they're black 75% of their lives statistically speaking
[00:10:21] Suicide rates monks teens are through the roof and a lot of these kids don't know how even have a roof to live under anymore
[00:10:29] Because they've all been blown off by the new climate change tornadoes that are worse
[00:10:35] They're more worse than the old kind of tornado that was just would just take kids on a magical journey
[00:10:42] Well, I tell you what we're not in Kansas anymore folks and those kids fucked up grotesque and those fucked up grotesque war zoo
[00:10:50] We see around you those aren't munchkins those are America's children
[00:10:55] Today on the Adam Friedland show we posit the question and answer it are the kids all right? I
[00:11:01] Thought I thought it was a little I thought it was a little herky jerky it was it was my read the copy was great
[00:11:07] The your copy was great my read the copies the copies fucked up for sure
[00:11:11] I know but I like that the I you know and I got lazy I got lazy I tell you what I should have written it for prompter
[00:11:17] Yeah, it should have all been in caps. Yeah, it's a little bit line by line
[00:11:20] Yeah, I should have not I should have not you should have been on you to read through it on the so that's on me
[00:11:25] That's no, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine
[00:11:27] It should have been all lazy look I'm coming off of an illness that I'm not allowed to mention due to YouTube
[00:11:34] Which even if I don't say anything wrong about it apparently my voice is now trick they triggers the algorithm
[00:11:41] I think you said a couple things that I think you said a couple things about the now
[00:11:46] I'm said fires have learned my voice in particular and when they hear that word
[00:11:51] Content goes by by folks. I think that's just how it goes. So okay. Let's just say let's just say
[00:12:04] It's called a cat scratch fever. Yeah, I gotta say I got cat scratch fever
[00:12:08] Mm-hmm and the cat in this instance is president G. Yeah, okay, that's yeah
[00:12:18] So we're not gonna mention anything that would get us taken down the read was good
[00:12:22] I guess that there's no jokes in here some of these but that's not the joke that that's the introduction
[00:12:26] That's the introduction so that the key points you want to take the kids are they okay are the kids?
[00:12:31] All right, because everybody wants to know especially people without children
[00:12:33] Yeah, it's true and who should be answering that question is is gay game as entertainers
[00:12:41] Childless entertainers. Yes. Yeah. I know he said gay. I was thinking broad demographic strokes here
[00:12:47] Yeah, that's true broad strokes. That's what you want to do. We fit into that demo. Yeah, look you produce a TV show
[00:12:53] You got to think how can I get my bottom dollars worth broad strokes?
[00:12:59] You know, how do we reach America the real America that I've never been to because I grew up in Livingston, New Jersey
[00:13:05] And then immediately moved to Hollywood after four years at Emerson. Yeah, that's right and I've never
[00:13:09] Met a single per I've don't even know what Wyoming is. Yeah, I've never heard of it
[00:13:14] You're what I would call an every man. I'm an every man. Yeah, and that's I know how to speak to these people. Okay, and so
[00:13:20] What we'll be saying here? Yeah, so again now we go to monologue, right?
[00:13:24] Well, you missed the line. There's an important transit. We got to work on okay
[00:13:28] You say but first the news of the world. Oh, yeah, but but first the news of
[00:13:33] The world of the world it's in there and then that line no it doesn't say I should I should have known to say that first
[00:13:39] Listen folks. This is a test episode again. Yeah, first the news of the say give me a but first the news of the world
[00:13:46] I did it's the news set on the Morse code and then we're gonna get more music
[00:14:04] We gotta get him for all this talk with the monologue jokes
[00:14:10] Oh, we're going to go over the couch and bring out the first guess but the first
[00:14:30] Finland and Sweden are set to join NATO contributing a thousand armored vehicles 150 fighter jets
[00:14:36] To NATO's combined forces so as long as you're able to assemble them from yourself at for yourself at home
[00:14:42] With nothing more than a confusing card again. Okay, make you read it through first. All right
[00:14:52] Finland and Sweden are set to join NATO contributing a thousand armored vehicles and 150 fighter jets to NATO's combined forces
[00:14:59] So as long as you're able to assemble it, let me let me I'll give it to me. Give me the paper
[00:15:03] Yeah, you want to you want to do just this one and you know what again? It's my fault
[00:15:08] Finland and Sweden are set to join NATO contributing a thousand armed vehicles and 150 fighter jets to NATO's combined forces
[00:15:15] Just so long as you're able to assemble them yourself at home with nothing more than some confusing cartoons in a dollop of wood glue
[00:15:22] That's pretty good. You were you were leading the joke and yeah, I should have stopped
[00:15:27] Before the punch the IKEA part is the joke. Yeah, that because there was a comment there
[00:15:34] Okay, and I thought it was part of the same sentence. Yeah, sorry. I mean we were no, it's my fault
[00:15:38] We both wrote these in the room together. It's my fault. No. No. Yeah, I should you know
[00:15:42] We got to hire our writers assistant. Yeah, this up because you know me. I'm not the best communicator. No, we need a woman
[00:15:48] Yeah, you need somebody cleaning this up because I'm not a communicator. Okay. All right. All right
[00:15:53] Let me let me take a crack at the second one. You know, I run a tight ship. I keep people
[00:15:56] No, you communicate to thousands of people every week who know, okay, so just try that again and just try reading it the way I said it
[00:16:16] Finland and Sweden are set to join NATO
[00:16:18] Contributing a thousand armored vehicles and 150 fighter jets to NATO's combined forces
[00:16:23] So as long as you're able to assemble them for yourself at home with nothing more than some confusing cartoons and a dollop of wood glue
[00:16:30] Just so long as you know, just so long. Yeah, just maybe just so long. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
[00:16:36] Yeah, cuz you're saying so long so and if you can do that you just so long
[00:16:40] You're saying the way where you think the punchline's coming after. Yeah, yeah, you know Finland and Sweden are set to join NATO
[00:16:47] contributing a thousand armored vehicles and 150 fighter jets to NATO's combined forces
[00:16:52] Just so long as you're able to assemble them yourself at home with nothing more than some confusing cartoons and a dollop of wood glue
[00:17:02] Yes, so yeah, I mean it's pretty good. It's gonna be the audience. Yeah, Ian's we're gonna pay him zero dollars. Oh, yeah
[00:17:08] We'll cut to him twice. Well, it's a good. It's it's gonna. Hey the audience. You know, you don't pay the audience to the economy
[00:17:15] No, that's a lineup at 8 a.m. Yeah. Yeah for 12 hours. They get the meat Craig Kilborn. Yeah
[00:17:20] That's what you that's that's your payment. Yeah, and then we have a warm-up comment. Yeah, yeah
[00:17:26] All right, the back to the model. Okay, and try it really maybe maybe just give these a read through
[00:17:30] You know cuz we got a I know it's a test show, but I want to I want to at least get it a glimpse
[00:17:36] Okay, well of our I got this I got this future. I got the second one. I got it together. I got this in the back
[00:17:41] We're all in this together. I got this in the back. All right. I got you. I want you to know the star
[00:17:44] I want to let you down to I think we're both kind of the star, but okay one action
[00:17:48] Mark Zuckerberg is turning up the heat at Facebook trying to push out employees ahead of the recession
[00:17:58] What Zuckerberg should really be trying to push out however is his wife's penis from his ass
[00:18:10] It's the first show now you're building
[00:18:13] They were like what the fuck is it? Yeah, I stopped like I don't know if this Adam guy can do this
[00:18:17] No, no in a second one there. That's why it's a test vid Facebook. That's relatable all of us use it
[00:18:22] The key demo target them over the show age. Oh this seven to 98
[00:18:38] We get every man whether you went to Emerson or whether up in Bergen County
[00:18:42] From Livingston, New Jersey, you're a seven-year-old Inuit. We got a show for you Facebook coming after you
[00:18:50] Okay, a massive brawl broke out during a performance of the hit song take it easy by the Eagles at a concert this
[00:18:57] We can lend it investigators are still trying to figure out what started the fight with some suggesting it might have been a matter of
[00:19:03] miscommunication it's take it easy is a prop popular British expression, but over there it means it
[00:19:22] It does mean that in England it does and in case the sensors over at YouTube are upset about that
[00:19:35] Faggot meaning cigarettes. Yeah, suck my deck my dick cigarettes. We're doing sir. We're doing it like I said brought appeal
[00:19:42] So I appeal that the we're got our British friends over the pond. We need to get them on board
[00:19:47] You know, there's nobody more here's a thing. There's no any more middle America than a working-class British guy
[00:19:52] That's true. That's that's facts a guy that lives in black on slo is basically
[00:19:56] American carne he's more American than me. There's no American. That's actually like on slow
[00:20:01] You know guys that think they're like on slow or like, you know
[00:20:05] They work for like a tractor supply company and they make a quarter million dollars a year right?
[00:20:09] Yeah, the small business owners. They got a PPP loan. They're not paying back on slow on slow is it is is
[00:20:17] Well, England is kind of just us and a little after we lose the Empire, right?
[00:20:22] And some of them are wizards and some of them. No magic. Yeah. Yeah, okay. This is also a wickensocials show as well
[00:20:37] All right, this next joke is pretty good
[00:20:40] Should I get should I do the next joke? Yeah, let's go monologue next one of the monologue
[00:20:53] A gas leak killed 21 youths in a tavern in South Africa when asked for comment the bar owner said good day
[00:21:00] Mate, I didn't did you didn't know that that would happen?
[00:21:04] I did you don't know what happened. Yeah, I messed up. It's Australia. It's
[00:21:19] I was excited about that one thought that was gonna be our pop
[00:21:22] Let's okay. Yeah at 24 year old Midwestern transplant to NYC has been fired from his tech job after criticizing
[00:21:29] Bodegas setting the record for worst white male visitors
[00:21:42] Since Dominic Strauss Khan the disgraced former head of the World Bank who raped a hotel made in 2011
[00:21:50] Fuck yeah, oh good. We're gonna just imagine live show now. Yeah, you're into the lights
[00:21:56] Yeah, but now the the fucking the the flop sweat is turning into the like Gatorade's like I know you're a
[00:22:04] Athlete, I know you're now you're performing now. You're an artist now. I'm kind of you're up there
[00:22:08] You've been served to be up there doesn't matter. It was fluke. How many fucking yeah? How many yeah exactly?
[00:22:13] I feel like I'm already getting into the monologue as we're going along. Yeah, I really fucked up that Finland Sweden
[00:22:18] That's okay. You can take that again at the end if you feel I can try it. I think the end is big is a doozy
[00:22:23] I think all right. We'll keep going all right
[00:22:26] Delta passengers this week were offered ten thousand dollars each to get off an overbooked flight the ensuing stampede
[00:22:38] The ensuing stampede after the offer of the flight which was going to Israel
[00:22:43] Resulting the deaths of yet another six million
[00:22:54] How's it anti-seminable? I had way to read knowledge is a holocaust and I don't know if you could have six million people on a plane
[00:23:00] I don't know if six million Jews live in Israel. I
[00:23:06] Think it's I think it's the exact same number which I always found kind of suspicious. Yeah, it's a little it's a little
[00:23:11] It's like what they only got six million of these folks. Yeah anywhere they go. There's six million. Yeah six million in New York
[00:23:22] African snail in Florida has sparked a quarantine that Florida will actually abide by you hear that you YouTube
[00:23:28] This marks the second time in four years that a boneless slug with a thin shell has taken over the state at least this one's from Africa
[00:23:42] Don't know about that one. I don't know
[00:23:55] I don't know we had look we hired Kurt Matt's girl last minute the right of these
[00:24:00] No, I'm kidding curtain right okay. We got it. We just got we got the crew in here
[00:24:16] We have of course our old friend Deborah Jewish sweater
[00:24:19] Boys to sweater boys recently got married to the same woman that's in an open relationship with both of them. Yeah, it's true Fox other guy share
[00:25:00] You should have seen him just blast out that line about that African
[00:25:04] Bad manners. Oh, man. It's crazy. It was like watching Mozart. Yeah, it's true
[00:25:08] You should see how they work in that damn writers watching watching Mozart with a with a
[00:25:13] 47 inch waist and a shoulder span of 12 and a half no mistakes
[00:25:21] Okay, the inventor of cell phones has come out to say put down your devices and get a life
[00:25:27] Martin Cooper 92 years old likely hasn't had sex in years due to his advanced age and is certainly not getting any pussy pics in
[00:25:36] The DM that's true. So take that I thought there was more written there
[00:25:41] I think there was that's all we had on it. We kind of threw that one day. Yeah, yeah
[00:25:45] We were impressed for a time. I think we thought that
[00:25:47] The didgerid don't one was strong enough that we were I did you don't know what happened
[00:25:52] I thought we were gonna cruise off that one. Yeah, that's because and I true the bar owners at all
[00:25:57] It's just a test show. I know people are gonna call me out for stealing that one from all that
[00:26:02] Mm-hmm, which is true. That is a Laurie Beth den Berg. Was it?
[00:26:10] Uh-huh, but listen we'd like that we this is sort of like a it's more of an homage and sort of an homage
[00:26:17] Ask Laurie back. We'd like you to join the writers rooms. I know the sweater the sweater brothers and you had
[00:26:38] See them in the writers we got it Laurie listen Laurie. I'm telling you. Oh, I can't slipple these guys
[00:26:44] You got to come back. You gotta make peace. You got to come back
[00:26:46] You got to make peace because listen their wife is out there fucking every guy she sees even nerds
[00:26:53] Yeah, you got a yabba-dabba doo-doo. What's best for the show? That's right. All right
[00:26:59] Pro-choice demonstrators demonstrated outside Amy Coney Barrett's home in Virginia chanting and waving signs
[00:27:06] The demonstrators begged the question is this too far?
[00:27:09] Is it outside the scope of acceptable civil disobedience to protest outside of the home of the husband of some dumb bitch
[00:27:18] That fucked away onto the supreme corner
[00:27:29] Yeah, what about the husband that's a good question. What about that? What about the husband did he give his permission a
[00:27:37] glamorous Australian horse heiress has been is that a thing she's
[00:27:42] From a family that breeds horses a glamorous Australian horse heiress
[00:27:46] Has been charged with having sex with a 14 year old boy four times in a single day
[00:27:51] When asked for comment she said top of the morning governor. I'd cheer he only
[00:28:02] Again we thought that would be a fun call back
[00:28:07] No, I thought it was pretty funny. Yeah, it's all right. All right. I don't want to say the last one. Okay. Just get through it
[00:28:19] Supreme Court has severely curtailed the EPA's ability to regulate greenhouse gas emissions
[00:28:28] The Supreme Court has severely curtailed the EPA's ability to regulate greenhouse gas emissions
[00:28:35] Proving once and for all that Clarence Thomas is a
[00:28:43] I'm pretty sure Colbert did it very similar. No, I don't think he said that
[00:28:47] This is what it seems to be what the libs or this is the joke. They're not calling them that word
[00:28:51] I've seen a lot of lives this week calling Clarence Thomas that were you could call a lot of words
[00:28:56] You can call them a lot of words. I don't think it's necessary. I don't think it's funny. I
[00:29:01] Don't think it's fun. I don't think it's funny at all, but this is the comedy. I'm on to go broad broad spectrum
[00:29:08] We're getting in we're everyone saying libcares. I'm not saying the that's and that's not even the word
[00:29:14] And you're it's we're getting on slow. We're from keeping up appearances. Yeah, great
[00:29:19] We're gonna have on slow and Lori Beth Denver gone for the first episode
[00:29:42] 22 year olds it looks 37 you like Bert Nurney just a fat Bert Nurney they look 90
[00:29:48] Just awful bodies fat upper bodies stick like stick like
[00:29:58] Denver gone next episode. Yeah, David. We raped her David. We raped her. Oh boy. Oh
[00:30:08] Looks like looks like Saters canceled at our house this week
[00:30:13] Molly our wife Molly our wife is gonna be really upset
[00:30:17] Mm-hmm. Molly is morbidly obese and works in public policy and she has a Puerto Rican boyfriend named Hector
[00:30:23] Right now Hector's fucking my dear wife
[00:30:31] So yeah, okay the Supreme Court has severely curtailed the EPA's ability to regulate greenhouse gas emissions
[00:30:38] Proving once and for all that Clarence Thomas is a ning
[00:30:42] Mm-hmm. He's a name being named Nick. I mean you don't have to say it. That's fine. Yeah, that was a little crew
[00:30:47] That one actually should have been deleted. Yeah, I don't know if that should have made the show. Yeah
[00:30:51] I think it's even I think that's probably the most offensive. He's a nincompoop
[00:30:55] So now we would now we now that the monologue is done
[00:30:58] Yeah, you you this would be you would walk from you walk from this behind the in front of the curtain
[00:31:06] Yes, we're still just in my apartment. We move back to let's get the music
[00:31:10] Let's get the music. All right. We got a great show for you guys
[00:31:18] Don't know if Michael's obviously I don't know if the guest comes out right away
[00:31:20] No, we say who the yes is and then first let me go to the desk and we do a desk segment
[00:31:30] The desk is nice my hog and they have we talked about the desk what the desk gonna look like I was thinking
[00:31:42] Freeland show so it's just Charlie Rose without him Freeland style so the desk is maybe
[00:31:49] From the like a staples. That's closing
[00:31:53] And they're giving away a desk. It's a quarter desk severely in the middle of a room
[00:31:59] Makes sense be good for an interview show though. Actually, it's kind of how Bill Maher has it. Yeah, he has two sides. Yeah
[00:32:06] So yeah, so when we go to the desk segment we got to go back we return to our topic discussion
[00:32:14] Is are the kids are the kids are right? Yeah, and I
[00:32:19] Don't know because there's there's gonna be a lot more kids now that that the Supreme Court is saying
[00:32:24] How are you gonna talk about kids without talking about abortion? I can't you know, so this is this is what we call
[00:32:30] Bailing mm-hmm in the show in showbiz. Yeah, we bail so the topic of the show was are the kids all right?
[00:32:38] Yes, we prepared nothing for it and then
[00:32:40] This roby Wade thing happens. Yeah, and so they're like, you know network comes in they say you got to do abortion instead
[00:32:47] You got to do it well, we're not gonna rewrite the whole episode
[00:32:50] So we'll just pretend abortion has something to do with whether kids are all right. Yeah, well, it's a kids come from
[00:32:58] Abortion yeah, it's kids. It's where we all come from. They can't have abortions. They can't have it
[00:33:03] Yeah, yeah, unless they're like until science until science
[00:33:08] Prejudices itself and catches up and figures out how to get a three-year-old pregnant
[00:33:12] Yeah, cuz I guarantee you there's three year olds out there that feel pregnant who's working on that?
[00:33:16] Yeah, who's working on the apple emoji team. Yeah, everything starts with emojis. It's true. Yeah
[00:33:25] A pregnant child emoji. Yeah, mm-hmm and then that creates a grand groundswell of demand
[00:33:30] And then from that demand we push scientists. Yeah, yeah everyone everyone gets everyone has an emoji
[00:33:37] They get mad at it conservative mainly they get mad at the pregnant man emoji mm-hmm
[00:33:42] I'm mad at that little devil guy with the long red. I don't like him. I don't like his vibe scary to me. It's very scary. He's scared. I'm scared
[00:33:49] What if a child saw that mm-hmm what what if a two or three year old saw that they'd be frightened by it?
[00:33:57] Well, the child would imprint on it and think it's their parent. They would think it's their parent. Yeah, like a penguin. Yeah
[00:34:06] Geese ducks maybe yeah. Oh, yeah, I remember that movie fly away home. Yeah, but a dumb girl
[00:34:12] That's like dad. Can we make a giant goose? Yeah? He's like, yeah, get them to Canada
[00:34:17] What the hell am I doing your mom's dead your mom's dead? We're gonna I'm gonna teach you how to be a pilot
[00:34:23] Yeah, we're gonna I guess we can make a giant goose to fly a 12 ducks to Canada
[00:34:30] It's a pretty good movie. Yeah, do you remember that old Michael foodie joke about imprinting ducks?
[00:34:36] He said it's like it would never be okay to kill ducks
[00:34:42] If the ducklings were hatched and who showed them a picture of the fear ate off Hitler mm-hmm
[00:34:49] Then you would be justified in murdering those not because they were thinking sir mom. Yeah, they would think that's their mom
[00:34:54] Yeah, not Michael's best. I don't think it was his best
[00:34:58] But that I think that is where I learned kind of unfair for you to even bring that up
[00:35:03] I just thought that's where I learned what imprinting was this sounds like one joke that he did it and open Mike once
[00:35:09] We're gonna have Michael foodie on with more Laura Depp Laura best and we're definitely gonna have Michael foodie on the Adam Fieldland show
[00:35:19] Every animal in the world with Lori best-enberg. Yeah as their mother and see what just see what happens
[00:35:26] You know blend like you see a movie and they're like don't throw the animal kingdom into chaos
[00:35:31] You know once you play a god well if you cut left you if you took every animal that could be imprinted
[00:35:37] Mm-hmm, and you showed them a picture coming out of the womb
[00:35:41] In between the day of the mother's legs is a big picture of Lori Beth Denver
[00:35:46] Smiley and you did that for a thousand years and then we all mass-suicided
[00:35:50] We all like all human beings climbed into a giant incinerator and deleted our any genetic evidence of us
[00:35:57] And then a million years from now or a billion years
[00:36:01] Ducks of all develop space travel. Yeah
[00:36:05] There they have some concept of God. It's just Lori Beth then right that's their deity. Yeah, yeah, they were like they're like who was that?
[00:36:15] I guess and then like so but that's probably what happened with us and there was like some master
[00:36:22] Billions of years ago and like the God the white long white beard or whatever. That's not just like a Euro centric
[00:36:29] Mm-hmm image of God. That's actually that was their Lori best-end
[00:36:33] That was like the funniest a person could look right was like that was like their version of a big fat girl
[00:36:39] I don't know if it was the funniest. I think it was that people thought she was funny for her really funny jokes
[00:36:44] Yeah, yeah, but that would don't did you read? Oh?
[00:36:50] Yeah, she had some baggers. Yeah, well, I was thinking maybe you know
[00:36:55] First order of business if you get the entire animal kingdom to imprint on Lori Beth Denver
[00:37:01] Mm-hmm. They'd come for revenge against our against our head writers the sweater brothers
[00:37:10] They'd be getting raped by gorillas. Yeah, yeah be horrible. Okay, so on the on the topic of
[00:37:19] We're talking about the kids we're talking about the kids
[00:37:21] But on the topic of the kids I just want to get into we'll get into this and then and then we'll run out of steam
[00:37:26] Let's go for our deep dive cuz there's a couple of things there's a couple of things that people are people are arguing about
[00:37:30] You know, there's a critical race theory. Should you be teaching kids critical race series still?
[00:37:35] No one knows what that is don't say gay, which I don't know what that means. Yeah, you know
[00:37:41] They're just trying to get people soft call saying that's gay
[00:37:45] No, they're not don't say gay bill is like you're not you're not allowed to be like a
[00:37:50] train left Dallas at 3 p.m. With two gay men fucking on a
[00:37:55] Traveling 60 miles per hour. They didn't even know each other before they got them. Yeah, I
[00:37:59] I think lead strangers passing in the night a train with a nude man strapped to the front of it
[00:38:06] Leave St. Louis. Yeah, and there's another train with a man's ass. Yes
[00:38:22] Gay fellas are always strapping themselves. We don't have trains anymore. Yeah, that's true. That's what the fuck happened
[00:38:28] It's destroyed American infrastructure. Oh, no, it's from deregulating the air. Nope. Nope. No, no, no
[00:38:35] No, um trans teachers. That's a thing. It's a big question. It's should these teachers be
[00:38:42] Trans that's a thing people are talking about it. They're talking about that. I have no fucking idea
[00:38:47] I have no idea. I'm just trying to produce the show. I know you think I gave a shit about this
[00:38:52] I got fired from Rachel Ray for drinking. It's true
[00:38:57] Cushus job I could I know that's where you met the sweater brothers wake up every day fucking noon rolling
[00:39:04] Blasted do a quick line in my office come in say I don't know how about fucking food
[00:39:08] Yeah, we do food again be like you fucking nailed it. Yeah, and I then I go fuck the one of the only female grip on set
[00:39:15] Strong strong woman strong. Yeah, not even interested in men most of us. No. Yeah, it made me feel like I was like
[00:39:20] You know, I like I stuck into a temple like a jungle temple or something
[00:39:25] Just a forbidden space if I made one false move just spears. Yeah, spear is coming out of the walls
[00:39:31] You know a giant ball chasing me down a hallway
[00:39:34] Because I felt like any moment there would be a boulder that would just roll out of her pussy crush me
[00:39:40] But now I'm here and I'm excited to be here and I'm excited to be here and build the Adam Freeland show
[00:39:45] And I'm so happy to be here with the sweater brothers you guys
[00:39:47] We got the sweater brothers heard a lot about you. They're off the camera, but they're here
[00:39:52] They got clipboards and we're so excited to have you and
[00:39:56] You know, we're just they're fucking titans. We're really yeah, you guys your legend precedes you and
[00:40:04] The only thing that really going on this week is is this video. Let me see if this is working
[00:40:10] Getting your covid vaccine Elmo. Oh, yeah, this video. I don't know. Yeah, we can do it
[00:40:16] It's just the it's a psa. It's not it's a psa that is good. I'm not gonna. Yeah, it's good
[00:40:22] I'm not gonna say a fucking word about what the content of the vaccine is and I can't wait till we have video
[00:40:28] Because it's absolutely a video. I want to play. Mm-hmm. I mean I can't get this so there's a bit of psa
[00:40:33] And Elmo getting the code vaccine, but he's with his dad in his dad's house
[00:40:38] And first of all Elmo didn't need a father
[00:40:41] Right, you know Elmo was fine. No, it was like who fucked a lady. Yeah, exactly. It's like what got Elmo
[00:40:48] Yeah, that was not necessary for Elmo to have a father. It's also it's like okay if Elmo has a father
[00:40:54] Where the fuck has he been for 60 years? Yeah, where has he been? Where has he been?
[00:40:58] He's a fucking dead baby and then the way they designed Elmo's father. I mean like a look at that you couldn't find a little pinch
[00:41:05] But that was okay. I was really glad that
[00:41:08] And baby David you're wicked who the fuck is baby David? Who's baby David? He's got a little brother
[00:41:14] Elmo's got this entire family up, but look at his dad
[00:41:17] I can't tell you how much I hate this fucking guy. They gave him orange hair
[00:41:21] This guy's got two types of red hair baby David is
[00:41:26] Elmo's half brothers his dad met a stripper in Panama City. Well, listen to his voice
[00:41:31] Let's see. I'll let you drink him in for a second and then
[00:41:33] But here I had a lot of questions about Elmo getting the COVID vaccine. Oh, it's safe
[00:41:40] Was it the right decision? We gotta have him
[00:41:46] I learned that Elmo getting vaccine so he was he's like this fucking like
[00:41:52] Like Nashville loser. Yeah, yeah, like a soul patch and a bowling shirt and he just lives on the Reba set
[00:41:58] Yeah, and he's just like a father that has not been in Elmo's life until apparently
[00:42:03] I guess last year during the Black Lives Matter protest that's when they showed up to explain racism
[00:42:08] The Elmo right because the negative stereotype that Elmo doesn't have a father present
[00:42:13] Mm-hmm, right, but look at this just like George Floyd had to die for the no
[00:42:17] Chant I used to live with a guy that looked like Elmo's dad. Yeah, he looks like shit
[00:42:21] This guy's a fucking loser. Yeah, he is a loser. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Elmo's got much more pronounced chin
[00:42:27] From his mother the best way to keep himself our friends neighbors and everyone else healthy and enjoying the things they love
[00:42:43] Baby David Oh, son. Come here. I couldn't be more proud of you real mom. Yeah, I've been down here living with my music partner Eric for the last
[00:42:56] Daddy have you and Eric written any songs? Oh
[00:43:01] Yeah, we've worked on a couple of things. I got a couple things going. Can you name one of the songs you and Eric came up with?
[00:43:10] You know, I mean a lot of it's just kind of work in progress
[00:43:13] But you and Eric have been living together for 25 years. It's not yeah, it's already for the world to see it
[00:43:18] Yeah, well, you know some folks Elmo they have music partners and
[00:43:23] You know what? What are we doing other hug Elmo? Why don't we just have another hug real quick?
[00:43:35] Yeah, and I looked it up because I know I just I don't know why this
[00:43:40] Elmo's father pisses me off because I stopped watching says me sure a couple years. Yeah, yeah, I've kind of been a years ago
[00:43:53] What do you got going on? What are you doing? Are you looking up? I'm looking almost died. Yeah, I'm trying to find a video
[00:44:04] Louie explaining the Elmo the Black Lives Matter protest. Oh, we got to hear that because they do it all over zoom
[00:44:10] It's like you can't be in the same room. Oh, I can't come back to our family until you get the vaccine
[00:44:24] No one's only the more annoying cuz like
[00:44:27] Sesame Street already did like Ray stuff like perfectly they were fun. That's how says oh, yeah
[00:44:32] So that's how sesame Street started you come back to 70s
[00:44:35] They have like Nina Simone on singing songs. Yeah, and then the whole show is about like living in the in the city
[00:44:41] In the city. Yeah, a lot of different kind of people. There's like yeah, there's like kind of class awareness. There's racial awareness
[00:44:46] Mm-hmm, but like I don't know who the fuck took over sesame Street
[00:44:50] But now it's just it's delivered like a like a like an HR meeting for it's like these are like
[00:44:57] It yeah, it's very stilted. It feels like a workplace kind of instructional video
[00:45:02] It's literally over zoom meeting with his estranged
[00:45:06] Cajun father. Whoever the fuck this guy is
[00:45:10] You see what they replaced a mustache with a soul patch. Oh
[00:45:16] And he has a what he has a beard her name is May. This is his wife
[00:45:24] But that's not Elmo's mother I guess it's his new mom yeah
[00:45:29] There's an episode of sesame Street from the 90s
[00:45:33] Where some stalker places an anonymous phone call to the young white woman the young
[00:45:39] Hispanic man on the show who went to see a movie together
[00:45:41] He's like I saw you at the movie theater and I'm disgusted really and
[00:45:46] And then they're like freaking out about it and they have to explain it to telly
[00:45:49] Who's an adult but it telly's that one that one works a lot better because telly is alcoholic
[00:45:54] It's just and who's telly telly's just a drunk that gets like he gets fucked up off milk constantly
[00:46:01] You do know a lot about sesame Street. I told you I watch it until probably probably the pandemic
[00:46:07] You got too woke for you. I didn't get too woke. I mean I figured I outgrew it
[00:46:16] You got to grow up sometime. Yeah, yeah
[00:46:22] Know they already did this shit. Well, but yeah the zoom meeting one
[00:46:25] Sorry, I thought it'd be able this is why we get a real producer and they can pull stuff up immediately
[00:46:29] Yeah, and we can go through these segments
[00:46:31] I thought it'd be more fun to to go into to Elmo's dad who really bothers me for some reason
[00:46:36] Yeah, they changed his appearance including giving him a different hairstyle and facial hair changes a
[00:46:53] Goatee rather than a mustache and a new wardrobe
[00:46:57] However, the older mustachioed Louie design was seen in Elmo's potty time. Yeah
[00:47:02] I almost imagine the guy who's writing this I
[00:47:08] Assume it's not you know some up it wiki. There you go. Yes. This is she
[00:47:24] No, who is this anyway? What makes you think you can just call up?
[00:47:27] She's also to back when everyone on sesame Street was from Brooklyn. Yeah, you know, it had more New York flavor
[00:47:33] Right exactly. That's what sesame Street was used to be in New York show. Yeah, it's sesame Street
[00:47:38] It's all zoom meetings. It's for Google employees. I'm just asking me to read his for they took it away from us
[00:47:44] Yeah, that's why I stopped watching sesame Street is because it's not about New York anymore now. It's a
[00:47:49] You know the main the main character used to be the city of New York
[00:47:59] Hello, what is your problem? Is that Bruno Mars Bruno Mars?
[00:48:10] Things about me and Gina what he must have seen us playing basketball or jumping on the mattress
[00:48:17] Tully they're just some really stupid people in the world who can't stand to see it when people of different races of friends
[00:48:25] Why not I have no idea Tully, but that was one of those awful people
[00:48:30] Because same skin is brown and mine is white he thinks we shouldn't be friends. It drove him nuts just to see us having fun together
[00:48:38] What color got to do with being friends nothing
[00:48:45] Yeah, this works a lot that's really good because it doesn't sound like you're indoctrinating a child
[00:48:52] They forgot about race. Yeah, I mean Tully's just tell he's just a boy boozer. He just is a milk
[00:49:01] He sits at the bar all day long drinking
[00:49:06] Yeah, I mean that's that's skin is purple right and mine is pink
[00:49:11] Yeah, I mean if it was up to that not if we were to listen to him you and I couldn't be friends
[00:49:15] Just just look at our black on Sesame Street there
[00:49:18] There are brown people there are pink people not to mention every other color, right?
[00:49:22] They're there are monsters. There are penguins there are grouches
[00:49:25] For tall yellow bird who's friends with everyone. I wonder what that jerk thinks about that. I
[00:49:34] Oh, I just wish I wasn't I just wish I wasn't such a fucking loser
[00:49:41] I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah poor Tully. I know I know I know you don't I know you don't so look
[00:49:51] Yeah, and then you got a song in there. There's no song with the new thing. No, there's no song
[00:49:56] You're not nerdy. It's that I tell you get out. I'll fuck I gotta find the other one
[00:49:59] But the one where and we got to move off the topic. I thought no no we can keep going. I never
[00:50:04] Know I can't no more pop it off. No, we can pop off the zoom meeting thing this fucking Nashville dickhead
[00:50:12] Sitting in his eyes on his who's taking care of this pro. Yeah this fucking dickhead. What is he doing?
[00:50:18] Why aren't you in Elmo's life Elmo's dad should be a guy that works for the Department of Sanitation? That's right, you know
[00:50:25] Mm-hmm, and he's like he's like Elmo. I gotta keep my opinions about all this stuff to myself
[00:50:31] You're a kid. You got to figure this out on your own. We can't put this shit on YouTube. It's not on you
[00:50:36] Yeah, we can't it's not on you to figure it out Elmo
[00:50:39] You're supposed to be outside playing with your friends, but the world got fucked up because of adults. Mm-hmm
[00:50:44] And it's not your fault. Yeah, they you inherited this shit keep it quiet before they send me to
[00:50:53] The rock there's that made a sesame Island in the middle of the Hudson
[00:51:03] Wow, this is really sad there's an episode where he teaches Elmo about death. Oh
[00:51:24] Should we move on from Elmo's dad to our next topic of conversation
[00:51:35] So you want to talk about the EPA rolling in the Supreme Court, I don't know
[00:51:40] There's no I want to talk about the contest. What contest?
[00:51:44] The con the oh this is your idea for the show. Yeah for the show. Oh perfect. Yeah, good cuz I'm out of ideas
[00:51:51] All I had was Elmo's dad. That's fine, dude, and you popped off enough and we hit that clip
[00:51:59] As you might have noticed we've changed the name of the show, right? We used to be on a different podcast
[00:52:04] We didn't change the name of show. This is a brand new show. This is a brand new show. We're using
[00:52:10] Mm-hmm where come town has been raised like a dried-up crop. That's right
[00:52:16] It's been burned to the ground and now this fertile soil. We've set up camp the ashes are fertilizing the soil
[00:52:22] And we're sitting by the campfire and mm-hmm. I got the banjo out and I'm like never tell you about this cocksucker Louie
[00:52:31] This sole patch two cards of red-hair motherfucker. Mm-hmm trying to avoid his child support. Yeah
[00:52:36] It's all termizing his music partner and lover. Yeah, uh, all right
[00:52:42] Here's the idea folks. No, this is a new show, right?
[00:52:46] But a lot of people have reached out. They said I you know
[00:52:49] I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for third Mike first of all
[00:52:53] You wouldn't be applying for third Mike. I'm now first Mike
[00:53:00] You're just a third guy right a guest on the show. You're just a guest on the show
[00:53:04] Yeah, but like like in a way Conan would have like some freak
[00:53:08] Yeah, like an Indian guy with autism and like unjammed the printer in the office
[00:53:14] Mm-hmm and you bring them on for every fifth sketch right?
[00:53:17] Yeah, who's probably a writer who's probably actually one of the sweater brothers in brown
[00:53:25] Here's what we're gonna do Nick and I are gonna set up a
[00:53:29] voicemail box like a Google voicemail box and we're gonna set up an
[00:53:33] Email it looks beautiful outside right now. It is like 95 degrees outside
[00:53:38] No, but it's so hot. It is a heavenly evening. Look at that light dude. It is really gorgeous
[00:53:43] That's the kind of I want I hope someday in my life
[00:53:47] Yeah, but I'm in a little cottage somewhere and I look out and I take my last breath and that golden light
[00:54:05] Immediately just burning and the final circle hell just engulfed into the earth
[00:54:13] Slamming through layers of earth's crust
[00:54:15] Colliding into Dante's inferno anyway, here's the thing guys a lot of you have been reaching out saying you can do it I
[00:54:26] Don't think you can but I'm willing to cat you know
[00:54:30] Little to meet you halfway. So we're gonna be setting up an email account watch the space watch our social medias an email account where you can
[00:54:41] Or voice mail we could leave us a voicemail
[00:54:44] We're gonna we're gonna come through them. We're gonna play a couple of them on the show
[00:54:47] We have a little bit of our Adam Friedland show idol right and maybe what are you?
[00:55:01] Where as someone that works with sweater brothers in the writers room. Yeah, we'll set up a PBX. Yeah
[00:55:10] I love saying that what is the PBX means phone box? I think a
[00:55:16] Phone box. I just always loved it whenever PBX now
[00:55:20] I know a lot of you jokesters are gonna take this real you're not gonna take this seriously you're gonna try to say
[00:55:26] What the 14 words or you're gonna try to know that's come down folks. That's come town folks
[00:55:32] You got to grow up. There's a real fucking comedy show about Sesame Street about the kids
[00:55:39] Are they oh, I guess it's like yeah, so then we would have a guest on imagining it would be like
[00:55:45] You know you bring on like a woman who is pregnant. We can put a camera into her pussy
[00:55:50] Mm-hmm and see if we get a statement from
[00:55:55] Yeah, cuz no one's ever asked no one's asking live TV. We asked the baby
[00:55:59] Do you consider yourself a lot? We send a miniature microphone and then have an ultrasound on a monitor?
[00:56:06] Yeah, and then we see them we see what they have. Oh, we could just get another baby to go in there
[00:56:12] That's true. Talk to them in baby. Yeah, babies are pussy sized so they go in there and then interview the other baby
[00:56:20] That's what they said that I did when I was born. I actually tried to climb back in they said that we have a breach birth
[00:56:27] No, I was a cesarean. I was a beach birth when I came out. I was like ear me now
[00:56:39] Yeah, you're like the redums the island
[00:56:50] Contractions. Yeah, yeah, yeah contractions. Yeah, that was my oh, I see which medically
[00:56:54] Yeah, that's a big old anyway here. Here's the thing folks if any of you are good
[00:56:58] And I'm not promising this the winner of the contest will be flown out to New York first class on the Concord Jet
[00:57:07] It's like home loan to just like the home loan to and you can have a five minute segment on the new and improved
[00:57:15] Adam Friedland show so with a guest we would have to have a guest and what let's think about it for a second
[00:57:20] If the episode is are the kids are right. Who would you talk to? I?
[00:57:25] Guess I would like to call a place we call a place call a place
[00:57:29] It does like racial sensitivity training for a child if that exists. Yeah, yeah, like a kid who pops off too hard
[00:57:36] Yeah, I'm not surprised look if you look at the tonality the assessments
[00:57:41] Everything becomes like that's the thing the bot is made is because it like it's not entertainment
[00:57:46] It's not even educational it feels like right workplace instruction
[00:57:50] I see what you're saying and in and like according to the same people that the clap at this shit
[00:57:56] Like isn't all of this like emotional labor to like explain
[00:58:00] Like don't you consider that work like you're basically making a child do work right?
[00:58:05] That is this is the 2020 equivalent of like making a kid go sweep up a factory in the
[00:58:10] 1800s. Oh, yeah, there's literally no there's zero difference. What a fucking song in there
[00:58:16] Put a fucking song. That's right a D is for don't be racist. You know like do something
[00:58:22] Mm-hmm. It's not a zoom call between Elmo and his estranged father
[00:58:26] Explaining the black lives matter protests
[00:58:30] This is what caused nake to stop watching the show. Hey ruin. They ruined sesame
[00:58:34] He lost Simpsons years ago. Yeah, and then a couple years ago. He was sesame Street. Yeah
[00:58:39] Yeah, I can't tell you better a telly a drunk whatever
[00:58:44] Just because your eyes are different. It almost made me almost made me quit Hollywood quit quit. She'll be but we're back
[00:58:51] This is this show is kind of like our triumph for return to Hollywood
[00:58:56] We were asked to leave and never come back
[00:58:58] And now we're snaking our way back in yeah, and we are gonna have real celebrity guests guys once we clear
[00:59:06] Nick and I are still sick with the virus. Yeah, and I think we can say that without YouTube
[00:59:12] Shutting us down. I would avoid even saying the word at all for any reason just in case once we clear
[00:59:20] Cats got cats scratch fever protocols now. You've tied it together where you've removed the coding
[00:59:29] Just be careful. I'm gonna be here because we already have one now one content strike
[00:59:33] So if it happens again, then we are out for a week. We're done for good
[00:59:37] I think think Ben said you're off for a week. Then if happens again, you're off for good
[00:59:42] Okay, well, let's not start before we even done the first episode with one strike left
[00:59:50] Let's try to let's aim for that. Yeah, yeah, I agree
[00:59:58] The Nazi patreon is called I hate that those are the options. Yeah, I hate that it's either like
[01:00:05] Don't say yeah, you can't say literally anything or you have to say the Edward
[01:00:12] There's no middle ground where you can where you can just get mad at almost dad. Yeah, that's right
[01:00:19] No, I think we have a lot of exciting stuff planned and a lot of exciting stuff in store
[01:00:23] Um, so we're just text us to ask if a certain date will be good for you know, I'll be out of town
[01:00:28] I'll be sure for we are going to be out of town for that. So we're gonna have some reschedule
[01:00:31] I will be in Buffalo July 7th through the 9th
[01:00:39] Yeah, folks, I'm gonna be a lien. Hold on. It's helium comic club. I bring a micro scene come out this week
[01:00:44] It's this week come out tell your friends come out
[01:00:47] We got to sell these tickets up and kind of drag and ass as far as promoting these shows go
[01:00:53] You know, I got to do it and then I thought I was gonna be on the road heavy
[01:00:56] But now I'm gonna have to reshift my focus to building the Adam Friedland show folks
[01:01:00] So I will be canceling. I won't be canceling anything
[01:01:04] but there there there this is I I'm gonna finish the touring I have and
[01:01:10] July 7th through 9th Buffalo come out and then Chicago the 23rd through the 26th. I'll be back in Lincoln Lodge
[01:01:17] Definitely go check those out guys and also
[01:01:19] I will be in Seattle at the crocodile on
[01:01:25] September 16th by tickets for that and in Portland at the legendary Mississippi studios on September 18th
[01:01:33] Grunge style venues that I'm performing at you know because that's the kind of comedy that I'm gonna be bringing to the road
[01:01:39] But otherwise we're really excited about what we have in store and we're excited about all the
[01:01:44] The enthusiasm that we've received so is there anything else we have written down?
[01:01:49] Oh, yeah, that fat the fat black lady only fans
[01:01:58] I just ran a headline to you. You're like, that's good. Oh, also. This is a patreon episode. This is a patreon episode listening to it elsewhere
[01:02:08] We're gonna be making some changes to the patreon patreon.com slash comtown you're gonna find these episodes
[01:02:13] Yes, but we will be offering additional tier that this is another exciting announcement then Nick and I have
[01:02:20] In store. Yeah, we'll be moving up the $25 tier. You now have access to the jam session
[01:02:27] Yes, once a month Nick and I will get our instruments out
[01:02:31] Instruments in studio and we're having a jam session with Adams nephew and we'll be doing it for you know
[01:02:38] About 45 minutes of music and you'll have access to that and the question is live Q&A is my nephew live Q&A
[01:02:46] We'll we'll you know be playing music and answering questions and you can suggest
[01:02:52] Topics mm-hmm for you can suggest topics and a tote bag
[01:02:56] Yeah, you'll be getting a new yorker style tok. There's a sesame Street tote bag for you
[01:03:01] There's only one I'm getting rid of all my sesame Street stuff out of protest. Yeah
[01:03:12] Yeah, so Nick's finally parting ways with that and we're moving ahead with the Adam freelance show
[01:03:18] Yeah, we hope you guys have enjoyed it today. Yeah, it's been a fun one. I'm feeling a little bit more on the mend
[01:03:24] Yeah, I feel better from the coronavirus
[01:03:26] Stop I mean it dude. I really don't I don't think we said shit. I know I didn't say shit. You can say
[01:03:35] I don't even want to I don't even know what you're saying. I'm not I'm done, man. My pop-off days are over
[01:03:41] I'm saying on safe targets. Mm-hmm changes to the sesame Street
[01:03:49] I will go any more controversial than that. I promise you
[01:03:52] Uh-huh about how almost father is a he's a loser loser
[01:03:58] Lying about living being in a band. No, he's just a fucking drug addict loser. Oh guy just with a roommate. Yeah. Yeah
[01:04:06] Yeah, it's been lying about getting the album out. It's kind of
[01:04:10] It's kind of beautiful many ways. Yeah, Telly's an old-school alcohol. Nothing romantic about it. He was a loser in school
[01:04:18] Mm-hmm probably autistic right just a guy that ended up drinking in like a bar that looks like a train station fell through the cracks
[01:04:25] Yeah, yeah, never knew doesn't even know he's balding. He's got like four hairs just left on his head
[01:04:36] He's his oblivious to racism as he is to his own disheveled pathetic state and that's what's beautiful about tapping
[01:04:44] Is that racism is just an other another?
[01:04:47] Unbeknownst ugliness in the world to him where you look at Telly and you think this guy it must suck to be him
[01:04:54] He's a drunk. He's got no one in his life
[01:04:56] He's at this bar sucking down milk every day killing himself. Yeah, and that is ugly
[01:05:01] But it's if he doesn't see that he also doesn't see things like fucking racism or hatred in the world, right?
[01:05:08] And it shows you the humanity in somebody like talent and that was and then he sings a nice song about it
[01:05:14] Yeah, it's how he doesn't even know you're gonna die one day. Yeah. Yeah, he hasn't even conned that
[01:05:20] He doesn't have a concept of eternal darkness. Well, obviously doesn't understand that or you wouldn't be drinking milk fucking all day long
[01:05:27] God, yeah, it's a sad story, but it's important for kids to see it. Tell me's a beautiful man
[01:05:32] You kind of is yeah, we're gonna have him as a guest on the Adam free look at Telly and Lori Beth
[01:05:37] Denmark coming up on the next Adam Friedland show the intellectual pivot from come town to come town nights
[01:05:44] Yeah, they had a Friedland show aka. All right folks. Thanks for joining us. Appreciate it. Bye. See you Wednesday