TAFS | Regular | 09/08/2022
[00:00:30] Hello and welcome to the Adam Friedland show.
[00:00:58] You got to stop thinking of yourself as a senior citizen.
[00:01:24] Um, and coronavirus is almost, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
[00:01:28] uh, finally, we're, we're finally ready to just go back to living in hell.
[00:01:34] And it's about to just be like a shittier life that we all live, except now we're all,
[00:01:38] we all have neurological damage from, use of the virus itself or quote unquote, uh,
[00:01:46] Uh, and they still haven't resocked PS5.
[00:01:54] We saw it at Best Buy and we saw it at PC Richards.
[00:02:07] No, I think that we happened to go to PC Richards and Best Buy on a day where they just
[00:02:15] And because I saw it at both places, I'm like, wow, now you can get anywhere.
[00:02:20] But, uh, no, I think it's still hard to get.
[00:02:32] I probably haven't been drinking enough water today.
[00:02:34] Here, I got water at the, at the store.
[00:02:41] Wait, can I ask you a question on Mike?
[00:02:43] Because maybe this will keep you honest.
[00:02:46] Because I've asked you this multiple times at this point.
[00:02:48] Can we please get a water cooler for the office?
[00:03:03] We keep going to the store for, we don't even know where the, we don't, we don't know where
[00:03:09] I don't think it would look good in here.
[00:03:11] I don't want, I don't know if the mini fridge.
[00:03:12] Why do you care about the aesthetic of it?
[00:03:14] Because it's a limited amount of space in the office.
[00:03:18] We have the fucking mini fridge in the chill zone in the office.
[00:03:24] The project folks, next string of water.
[00:03:31] I'm very excited about next Monday's episode, which should be a real, a real step forward.
[00:03:39] I just wish I didn't feel like fucking dog shit all the time.
[00:03:44] I got my, I got my psych to recommend a therapist.
[00:03:50] Well, the psych costs $400 a fucking hour.
[00:03:58] But the psych you have to go to to get the pills.
[00:04:01] But, but in the sopranos, she gives him the pills.
[00:04:11] In the entire time, I'm like, what does this suck?
[00:04:19] It was good to be back in Philly doing that club.
[00:04:24] I had a great, I mean, I should have had a good time, but something like it just doesn't,
[00:04:30] And then in my head, I'm like, well, then it must be the thing.
[00:04:33] And not that like, you know, I just don't-
[00:04:37] Because brass tacks, something bad will happen, something small.
[00:04:46] In the big stuff, I blow past that too.
[00:04:49] And then you're like, yeah, everything's-
[00:04:59] You don't like inconveniences or complications.
[00:05:04] You were shouting at the photo printer to get the I'm gay book jacket perfect.
[00:05:14] I'm admiring you because you're a perfectionist, right?
[00:05:17] There's a lot of jokes around the show.
[00:05:19] Who does what and what's being delegated.
[00:05:22] But do not take art department away from me as if that is not the only thing that you
[00:05:30] Whatever this is, as if like James Cameron treated-
[00:05:38] I just wanted to do art department stuff.
[00:05:44] I'll have a nice job making fake hands.
[00:05:50] Like you're going back to GameStop or something.
[00:05:55] I never said anything about going back to GameStop.
[00:05:59] I only worked at GameStop for about a month.
[00:06:02] I just real quick, make a little extra money, get the 25% stored this count.
[00:06:11] Make fun of that guy who shit his pants.
[00:06:12] In a year where it was important to do that in 2008, which you know what?
[00:06:19] I'm going to go pick up Last of Us and play that.
[00:06:25] But I thought that a large contributing factor to what Frust rates you is that the games
[00:06:34] I think that one's supposed to be good.
[00:06:35] First of all, that game's almost 10 years old now.
[00:06:39] But I'm telling you, I was- when Red Dead Redemption 2 came out-
[00:06:42] I was about to fucking kill myself, dude.
[00:06:47] Not only the game itself, but then growing a beard like Arthur for two years afterwards.
[00:06:59] The second that man was elected, I had to fucking power through story mode because I
[00:07:06] And I was told that she was going to leave me-
[00:07:08] That's probably the worst thing Dasha ever did to you is make you rush through Red Dead
[00:07:13] The worst thing she did was she said, give me the controller.
[00:07:16] And then she- What is she going to do with it?
[00:07:18] Fucking get- And then she made Arthur punch my horse and it broke my heart.
[00:07:23] Make the controller even dryer with her pussy?
[00:07:30] What's she going to do with the PlayStation controller?
[00:07:35] No, I mean, it's her pussy like a blow dryer to get all the hands.
[00:07:40] I was like literally- I was losing my mind trying to power through story mode because
[00:07:46] And she was like, I can't be less attracted to you.
[00:08:05] Damn, drinking just his bottle of water already feel maybe 10% better.
[00:08:12] You get by with a little help from your friends.
[00:08:15] Oh, I thought you were handing me water to drink.
[00:08:21] No, I thought you were giving me a water to drink.
[00:08:32] That's a- Is there any better indication that video games are just like-
[00:08:36] There's a lot of people talking about our video games art.
[00:08:39] The best ones are geared towards people that have severe fucking depression.
[00:08:48] It's a fantasy in which you don't exist in this world.
[00:09:05] Well, that's what happened to me when I played.
[00:09:09] But they're like, yeah, it's not enough that you're a cowboy in the Wild West.
[00:09:13] Yeah, well, I just got out of a tuberculosis.
[00:09:15] I would check my phone and think it was like 10.45 PM.
[00:09:21] Yeah, it would literally be like 5.30 AM.
[00:09:23] Yeah, you just like completely you're not in the world.
[00:09:36] The freaks don't ruin it for me and get me kicked out.
[00:09:45] I overheard this lady telling another lady about her video game that she's making.
[00:09:51] And she's like, so it's a dystopian future.
[00:09:56] She said, yeah, she's like, yeah, what's it called?
[00:10:02] She's like, it's a dystopian future and a trans girl.
[00:10:06] She's like realizing that her parents are abusing her.
[00:10:15] I've been sucking a dick this whole time.
[00:10:22] And so she comes to terms with her gender and also breaks away from her abusive family
[00:10:28] while dealing with the society crumbling.
[00:10:35] And that was a, you know, and I didn't say anything, of course.
[00:10:42] I'm looking at the reads for this week.
[00:10:43] Oh shit, I forgot that we have had some stuff.
[00:10:47] Guys, I showed Nick the first five minutes of the new episode.
[00:11:03] We've been working together for a fucking decade.
[00:11:15] I won't mind laughing, it doesn't feel good at all.
[00:11:16] Look, we're middle-aged men that have been involved in the arts for our entire lives.
[00:11:23] If at this point you're not just running on your own goddamn fumes, you're lost.
[00:11:32] I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks.
[00:11:36] I want to make shit that I think is good.
[00:11:38] And it probably could be the worst shit in the world.
[00:11:45] You'll do something right sometimes and it'll hit your fucking-
[00:11:54] It's sort of the antidote to whatever's going on in your head.
[00:12:09] Right now we have the ability to do anything we want and it's pretty cool because for
[00:12:15] years we discussed wanting this and we have it right now.
[00:12:41] It's like why am I not enjoying things?
[00:12:51] Like that's part of the creative process.
[00:12:54] You're gonna feel good for 10 minutes and then you're gonna hate it.
[00:13:02] I shouldn't wake up feeling fucking exhausted.
[00:13:06] I shouldn't feel fucking tired all the time.
[00:13:24] But I tell you what, I did let myself yesterday just fucking be a couch-
[00:13:31] And just sit there and hit up stars on core.
[00:13:45] Oh, it's just so difficult to read here.
[00:13:59] Is there anything you wanted to discuss?
[00:14:05] I don't even know what's going on in the world.
[00:14:16] When he sits there and he does all that editing, you understand why Steven's a drug addict.
[00:14:21] I really thought he was our friend that liked Opioids.
[00:14:26] When he's editing, it looks like an Asian kid playing piano.
[00:14:36] It looks like an Asian kid working in a playing card factory.
[00:14:47] I got one of those keyboard overlays for editing.
[00:14:50] Well, you just have to learn the shortcuts on the keyboard.
[00:14:54] When I sit there looking at a keyboard, I've never seen it.
[00:14:58] The swag in editing is that it's gay to use the mouse.
[00:15:17] You say pause after someone says something gay.
[00:15:22] Swerve was the thing people would say when we were-
[00:15:26] I think swerve is maybe still going on.
[00:15:33] Yeah, swerve in the fucking group of kids.
[00:15:37] We're the Zoomer kids coming up with new language that I don't approve of.
[00:15:45] Yeah, I'm going to drink another big thing of water and maybe have a little diarrhea
[00:15:56] Is it even bean- I thought you saw being vegan?
[00:16:21] We really expose our assholes to the world too much.
[00:16:26] It'd be cool to have a little half-moon anus.
[00:16:31] I like that Brooks & Dun song, half-moon anus.
[00:16:34] And I got an asshole like a fingernail moon.
[00:17:06] Imagine saying that to him and then he has to kill himself.
[00:17:13] He invites you up on stage and you're more like Ronnie Dun sucked my penis.
[00:17:17] He's like, well, that's it for me, folks.
[00:17:24] When my asshole is out of my pants and everyone can see, it's a fingernail moon in shape.
[00:17:50] After you get a taste of it, it's so exciting.
[00:18:00] Dude, and honestly, I had a fun weekend.
[00:18:04] And it's like, I'm already tired of this fucking hour.
[00:18:08] I'm just like slowly plugging it into it because it's all topical bullshit and half
[00:18:16] Also you go out on the road to say hi to people because that's nice.
[00:18:23] I mean, all this internet-based shit, it turns you into a fucking psycho because it's like
[00:18:30] All that exists is being on the other side of like a parasocial relationship, you know,
[00:18:35] where it's like, you had no connection.
[00:18:39] It's just like somebody that's like, knows way too much about you.
[00:18:43] It's so gay that we're talking about you getting a therapist from your psychiatrist.
[00:18:48] I mean, they're like, I'm happy that Nick's finally taking those steps.
[00:19:05] I mean, like, no, you go out on the road and immediately like, because even though the
[00:19:09] fucking freaks that come out, they want to talk to you about like, when you sit, you
[00:19:13] know, this is because some 99.99% of them, but even the freaks in person, it's like, oh,
[00:19:28] Except he had worked out for me and it didn't for him.
[00:19:29] He said shit this out of pocket on the internet.
[00:19:36] And even if he does, some people shoot people.
[00:19:40] That's fucking the most shooty guy of all time, Steven Paddick.
[00:19:44] No one would deny that he seems like, if the little we know about him, one picture of
[00:19:50] him with his Filipino girlfriend and you're like, I would have a drink with it.
[00:20:03] I mean, if he's anything like his brother, he was cool.
[00:20:07] And that guy killed more people than anyone.
[00:20:11] And if he came to a show, I would be like, wow, this is like middle-aged guy came.
[00:20:21] Hopefully you and your immigrant wife had a good time.
[00:20:40] Folks, this episode of The Adam Friedland Show is brought to you by MyBookie.ag.
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[00:20:54] It's a, I think a Switzerland top-level domain, which means that MyBookie.ag is, see, that's
[00:21:08] Maybe when he gets back, I don't know anything about fucking sports betting or how it works.
[00:21:13] Shane made an interesting point this last time around that gambling betting on sports
[00:21:22] Unfortunately, I don't gamble myself, but if I did, I'd be using MyBookie.ag.
[00:21:29] And I tell you, Joey over at MyBookie.ag, he said he would send a new copy.
[00:21:34] I haven't seen it, but we're at the website now.
[00:21:38] It's been on anything, anywhere, anytime, which seems that's impossible.
[00:21:48] No, it's a real claim that they're making that you can actually do.
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[00:22:02] And it looks like there's a picture of a man here holding some cash and he's happy about
[00:22:11] They got slots games, NBA Live Odds, NCAA F Live Odds.
[00:22:20] National College African American Fuck.
[00:22:36] They're saving up for Caca for young Negroes.
[00:22:39] You can bet on that whether they'll get the Caca or not.
[00:22:43] So they have a team of meticulously handpicked professionals with their refined skill sets.
[00:22:47] Somebody tells me that, yeah, I went to Howard University.
[00:22:50] I said, oh, yeah, would you major in Caca?
[00:22:52] And then I slowly start smiling at them until they're in melting.
[00:23:00] They're just like, it's like somebody's going super safe.
[00:23:02] Watching that house blow up in the atomic bomb test.
[00:23:10] Would you get your master's degree in Caca administration?
[00:23:18] I've said it on stage doing stand up comedy.
[00:23:23] We got Buffalo Bills versus the Los Angeles Rams.
[00:23:27] Yeah, first game of the season Thursday night.
[00:23:36] Bills mafia because they're in New York, but it's like way on the other side.
[00:23:43] No, it's just a way to make drunk people feel like they're cool.
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[00:24:20] So guys, go to that fucking website, put in what's the promo code?
[00:24:28] And you're going to like what you see there.
[00:24:34] When the sun goes down, dude, I got it.
[00:24:37] I got to take you to this place where I went right after we did the episode was changed.
[00:24:45] She was like with her friends in fucking Sunset Park at this bar called Football Inn
[00:24:58] I was looking for like pipes for the lighting grid.
[00:25:01] And I asked Jordan Jensen if there was like a hardware because you can't buy anything
[00:25:07] You got to go to Gowanus if you want any kind of building material.
[00:25:13] She told me that I just googled hardware and Google Maps and it brought up a gay bar.
[00:25:21] She said it was called Amsterdam Hardware.
[00:25:23] And I think I put that in this gay bar called Hardware Came Up.
[00:25:27] And then I thought, I'm going to make my family come here for my birthday.
[00:25:35] That's just for the one joke of you thinking that it's a fucking construction based bar?
[00:25:40] I don't know why I didn't think of that in the past.
[00:25:43] I'll just make my, just find the bar that doesn't sound like a gay bar or like a restaurant
[00:25:49] And then make my extended family come have lunch with me and a bar with Tom from Finland
[00:26:01] The joke, the joke of being that they would be very out of place.
[00:26:09] I picked her up at that bar and it was just filled with Chinese to generate gamblers.
[00:26:16] And they were just like watching horse races on television.
[00:26:20] There was like a main bokei guy who was taking all the bets and then just like old timers
[00:26:31] This like Italian guy who was there and he's like, yeah, I grew up in fucking New York.
[00:26:36] And he's like, you know, I grew up with John Gotti and he's like, I was sick.
[00:26:42] So I found this place and he's like, I've been coming here for the last 16 years just
[00:26:50] And he's like, no, this neighborhood's fucking disgusting because it's like a Brooklyn's
[00:26:58] And he's like, yeah, like the funniest thing he said was he said, yeah, like, I remember
[00:27:05] when trans vesticles first came to New York.
[00:27:11] You remember, you remember Sean Patton's bit about old guys and neighborhood bars in
[00:27:17] Yeah, the guy that's been there for 150 years.
[00:27:21] Yeah, I've been in this neighborhood 137 years.
[00:27:25] I remember when they when they invented the Yankees.
[00:27:30] No, it's because it's like, he's like, yeah, 38th street.
[00:27:33] So back before the dirty Irish came up, the dirty Irish came up from all the not ever
[00:27:43] Yeah, the dirty Irish came up from on the 38th street and the fire department back then
[00:27:50] So everything the whole the whole block, everything used to be on fucking fire.
[00:27:55] And the fire department was a dirty Irish.
[00:27:57] They'd come up and they throw fucking potatoes at the no, it was something like the hide that
[00:28:01] you'd throw potatoes at the dirty Irish.
[00:28:04] And he's like, and that's how baseball stuff.
[00:28:07] They throw fucking that's how that's how the baseball started.
[00:28:10] They throw potatoes at him and they go, get the fuck out of here.
[00:28:18] I mean, he's he's in and nothing like he's the only guy.
[00:28:27] He's like the last actual like creative good stand up comedians.
[00:28:35] Yeah, I don't I think yeah, Sean's maybe Sean's yeah.
[00:28:39] There's no there's people that were very good at comedy.
[00:28:41] Yeah, very fucking good at stand up comedy.
[00:28:44] But Sean's the only person I've ever seen where I'm like he this guy is doing something
[00:28:49] completely different that that that transcends just fucking.
[00:29:02] That was one of the funniest things ever.
[00:29:07] When my dick comes out and I show my soul.
[00:29:21] Yeah, he didn't really take his dick out anymore.
[00:29:27] Yes, it was very funny and his 40 year old balls were hanging down to his knees.
[00:29:37] Yeah, if you're listening to the show, go see him if he comes to your town.
[00:30:05] Definitely alien that came on the hours.
[00:30:11] Two meals for sister Sarah that came on.
[00:30:21] Yeah, that's how you know it's depression.
[00:30:25] Yeah, I can't even remember what movies I watched.
[00:30:31] I know you got this muscle not in my back too.
[00:30:33] I can't figure out if it's a muscle not or my kidneys are hurting.
[00:30:38] It's definitely a not because my gym I thumb in there feels better.
[00:30:46] I don't know about anatomy or medicine or science.
[00:30:52] People say it, but maybe I am just a fucking whiny baby.
[00:30:56] Like once you get into your 30s, it's just you feel like fucking shit all the time always.
[00:31:09] I think I'll just drop dead suddenly at a certain point.
[00:31:14] But I'm just not going to think about it.
[00:31:17] I'm not like, is something wrong with me?
[00:31:31] And I'm such an empathetic person that I can't help but I can't help but adopt.
[00:31:39] It's like, look, you need to ingratiate yourself to Adam and make himself make him feel comfortable.
[00:31:44] No, I'm the one that's supposed to feel like I'm dying.
[00:31:50] So, I'm just being like, can I get you anything?
[00:32:10] I'm excited to do these pickups after this fucking podcast.
[00:32:24] And when my dick gets hot, I'm following another guy.
[00:32:29] Damn, that freedom tower was a real fucking, that was a real, real miss.
[00:32:46] I know, but nobody's like coming either.
[00:32:48] He's like, I gotta go see the freedom tower.
[00:32:50] My dad was hyped on it when he came to New York.
[00:32:53] Literally no one wants to see that fucking building.
[00:32:58] I'm mad at Shane for discrediting my theory about the Chinese.
[00:33:14] I think he has his own fortune cookies at home.
[00:33:19] Do you think anyone so fat that they've just purchased their own fortune cookies for at
[00:33:25] Yeah, like, you know, to have like Trader Joe, Trader Chang.
[00:33:37] And they only stopped a couple of years ago.
[00:33:43] Trader Joe's was doing blackface until a couple of years ago.
[00:33:46] And then they kept the white ones, right?
[00:33:57] Dude, I just want to finish this episode.
[00:34:01] I like literally don't care about podcasting anymore.
[00:34:04] I mean, listen, folks, if you're listening right now, if you're still listening, here's
[00:34:13] We are, I would say, four weeks out from what we want to do.
[00:34:43] And by that, I mean text add on your opinion.
[00:34:46] And you can find just, you can goog, you can find.
[00:34:50] And we are getting, the set will be built.
[00:34:53] But should we, and this is, we got to figure this out.
[00:34:57] Whether, because I personally, my instinct is to not show any of the actual set in piece
[00:35:10] And that requires not only getting the set in here, but getting a DP in here and lighting
[00:35:15] Making sure everything looks fucking right.
[00:35:33] Right now what we're doing is this is a bridge.
[00:35:40] We're doing water and we're making video content where we're just fucking around having
[00:35:44] fun and learning a lot about how to make shit.
[00:35:51] I don't know if I told this story on the podcast.
[00:35:57] And this fucking fat guy with his maybe prostitute girlfriend who knows.
[00:36:05] This fat older fucking like, you know, like necklace guy.
[00:36:14] And he's fucking hitting the like, there's like a bartender.
[00:36:18] Or like, you got to just serve his drinks.
[00:36:20] I guess he's not really much of a bartender who is in middle aged Indian man.
[00:36:25] And he's hitting them with the fucking Spanglish to like, hey, muchas gracias.
[00:36:34] And it's fucking just like sprinkling in like, oh, no, no, no, MOS today.
[00:36:42] And then this guy like, you know, he just he gets he goes and this guy's living life.
[00:36:46] You know, I got my prostitute girlfriend.
[00:36:50] I'm showing off my Spanish to an Indian man.
[00:36:53] And then he jumps in the pool and just belly flops and then fucking these.
[00:36:59] The loudest swimming I've ever heard in my life in three feet of water.
[00:37:03] Just slapping just slappas flashing water over, but barely moving.
[00:37:11] So we're we're three weeks out from not having to do this anymore.
[00:37:17] I mean, it's going to be we have to do the podcast, but it'll be different enough where
[00:37:23] The more the more it is a shame because it's like, and we'll see how that affects business
[00:37:30] But yeah, I really don't want to do a fucking podcast anymore.
[00:37:35] I want to like, yeah, that's what we're going to do.
[00:37:38] The idea of sitting around having a fucking meandering conversation and then like, I mean,
[00:37:45] if I ever have to do a Chinese guy voice again in my life, I'm going to kill myself.
[00:37:52] I just don't I just don't I'm done with podcasting.
[00:37:58] Yes, we're maintaining a schedule, but there is kind of a light at the end of the tunnel.
[00:38:07] Of which both of us are quite excited about.
[00:38:10] And like, I don't want to oversell it, but it's it's it's going to be good.
[00:38:16] What is that expression of light at the end of the tunnel?
[00:38:19] I think you think you're in the darkness and then you notice that you're going to.
[00:38:30] No one I've never in my life gone through a tunnel and been like, Oh, no.
[00:38:48] I feel like we're kind of on the precipice of something new in our lives.
[00:38:56] This is going to be I don't know not to ruin it, but we're we're doing digress to the
[00:39:06] We've edited our walkers, edited ourselves into digress in the next generation by building
[00:39:20] We've sourced the same lockers, the same lunch.
[00:39:23] We've actually reshot the entire first season, but I can't get the accent right.
[00:39:26] So that would all went into the garbage.
[00:39:29] I deleted if I ever was begging me, please, we can salvage it.
[00:39:32] He got mad that my Canadian wasn't good enough.
[00:39:45] I'll say sorry to your pussy for reaping.
[00:39:52] And we went to the party together and I rooped you and you're pewsy and I'm sorry, but maybe
[00:39:58] your pewsy shouldn't have been so sexy to me and here in Canada.
[00:40:10] Dude, I was like laughing the other day.
[00:40:13] I don't know if it's when my son goes down on my penis.
[00:40:42] Hopefully this makes Gina's week easier than we hit it right on right on the money, Gina.
[00:40:48] So no more having to scrub through this fucking dog shit podcast.
[00:40:57] Bluechoo offers you the same active ingredients as Viagra, Sea Alice and Levitra for a fraction
[00:41:09] Damn, I'd love to see Alice when I'm fucked up on my dick pills.
[00:41:14] When I'm taking so many dick pills that my fucking my eyes don't open.
[00:41:22] Oh, no lock in bluechoo makes the getting the treatment you need affordable.
[00:41:31] No more time consuming doctors in person visits.
[00:41:37] Quality patient care and prescription treatments do not have to be inconvenient or expensive.
[00:41:47] All plans include I'm trying to do this as long as possible.
[00:41:53] That's what we really made a name for ourselves by making the ads so funny.
[00:42:00] Yeah, that's the best part of the whole show.
[00:42:04] They would say, I got to hear more about these dick pills that I've heard about for years.
[00:42:09] And it's a thing that's nice about, actually there's nothing really nice about it.
[00:42:20] It works, bluechoo isn't some dumb gimmick like fake weed or underwear that somehow makes
[00:42:32] Well, let's not say that because they've all known that we didn't know.
[00:42:39] What if bluechoo made a type of underwear that it gets your, the underwear gets your
[00:42:49] Listen, the underwear could have a pussy in it.
[00:42:52] All the plans include digital physician consult, RX only chewable tablets, monthly refills
[00:43:07] Well, because it's back in the day, retarded people, they don't know how to read.
[00:43:14] So they'll be like, oh, that must be, that must be the prescription place.
[00:43:22] Maybe I'll do research while you, maybe we could talk about that.
[00:43:28] Bluechoo offers chewable sildene fill to dalaphil and vardene fill as an alternative option
[00:43:44] All you have to fucking do is put in the promo code, come town or come town 20 and you get,
[00:43:57] It's five fucking dollars to get your dick card.
[00:44:02] Can you imagine a better deal than that?
[00:44:17] You get, you know, maybe you pass you up with the sheriff once a week, but outside of
[00:44:21] that, you just fucking, you murder people that still, still cattle.
[00:44:24] And then the ranchers got to give you cash.
[00:44:30] You've taught yourself Cherokee to get pussy.
[00:44:36] You're about to fuck the chief's daughter consent, fully consent.
[00:44:40] So the chief, you smoked weed with them.
[00:44:43] You and the chief are out of your fucking mind on ayahuasca, right?
[00:44:51] And you got to say, damn, this is the pinnacle of human, you know, you don't really get
[00:44:57] better as a guy, but there's no blue chew back then.
[00:45:00] I would rather be a guy now today just living in a prison, no pussy whatsoever to even speak
[00:45:11] I can take a pill and my dick still works.
[00:45:14] I would rather be that than a fucking, then a, you know, a cowboy.
[00:45:30] So yeah, put in that fucking promo code.
[00:45:37] And guys, if you're listening to the show and you're like, what the fuck is your best?
[00:45:43] Now you're going to have to just check out the talk show because we're three weeks out.
[00:45:51] The sooner we can just have a talk show and we don't have to do this fucking gay ass.
[00:46:00] This is for children and culture war guys.
[00:46:08] I'm trying to go to lunch with everybody.
[00:46:13] You're going to scream at me about fucking Trump or Biden, whatever.
[00:46:16] I'm celebrating a diversity of opinions in my life.
[00:46:27] And then the waitress looks at me and she says, no, sorry.
[00:46:31] And then I go, oh damn, is there a way to make it vegan?
[00:46:35] And then she goes, I mean, we could take the meatballs out of it.
[00:46:42] That was just my, that's like a joke I do.
[00:46:46] And then she's like, oh, and I'm like, do you want to hang out?
[00:46:59] And then I get up and I leave the restaurant.
[00:47:02] And that's what an adult, that's me now.
[00:47:09] No more, I want to kill myself, game stop stuff.
[00:47:14] And people's have all different political stripes.
[00:47:18] I strike out trying to just find, you know, I don't even, I just, I want stability.
[00:47:25] And it would be nice to have somebody to be nice to, or learn that.
[00:47:35] Learn saying, learn saying, how was your day and not saying it in a way where I go?
[00:47:49] As soon as you come in, I say, how's your day?
[00:48:05] You're going to follow us on this fucking journey.
[00:48:08] Also, I can't go to any of your family events, any of them.
[00:48:15] Also guys, on Monday, on patreon.com slash T-A-F-S.
[00:48:23] I went to Thanksgiving at your family's house six years ago.
[00:48:26] So you can't say I have never fucking, I don't do anything.
[00:48:40] You told me your family hates me anyway.
[00:48:49] It sounds like they're fucking abusive.
[00:48:50] It sounds like they're abusing you and you should stop talking.
[00:48:54] It sounds like you should never leave the apartment.
[00:48:58] It sounds like you should quit your job.
[00:49:00] Hey guys, you're listening to the cool boyfriend podcast.
[00:49:11] I haven't been able to feel anything forever.
[00:49:20] And then the older you get, it's like, you're like, I'm just waiting for the right person.
[00:49:25] But then there's a million right people and you're like, yeah, whatever I was feeling
[00:49:28] in the past was just like some sort of deranged attachment predicated upon unresolved trauma
[00:49:36] and you know, you're never like, you're like, did I ever love anybody or was it just, they
[00:49:42] made me feel bad in some way and I was trying to make it up for it by being like, well,
[00:49:48] they must be special because they make me feel like shit.
[00:49:53] And then once you feel good about yourself, you're like, oh, I just, I just want to like
[00:49:57] maybe work with retarded kids or monkeys or something and then have a nephew.
[00:50:06] The closest I'll get to a family is bringing Mike Racine on the road and paying him extra
[00:50:10] to feature so that he can feed his son.
[00:50:15] That's as close as I'll ever throw our Italian friend.
[00:50:25] And as I was saying before on Monday on patreon.com slash TAFS, we have something pretty good that
[00:50:34] we've been cooking up, which is something that was shot last weekend.
[00:50:38] And we've learned, I haven't got, I don't want to put my name on it.
[00:50:42] This is Adam's attempt at being an artist at deciding at 35 years old to start being
[00:50:49] an artist, which is a real gamble for us.
[00:50:52] That's the best part about the Adam Freeland show is like we can just do that and then
[00:50:57] never do something like that again or the next week the premise could be that you're
[00:51:10] There's nobody to be like, this doesn't make sense.
[00:51:14] This is fucking, you know, and then it used to be it's like, well, as long as it's funny,
[00:51:23] It's like how about just as long as we continue making money, we spend, we try to, you try
[00:51:29] to hit the, hit it on the dot, spend all the money, you know?
[00:51:35] And the show, the, the, it's just a matter of figuring out how to spend all the money
[00:51:45] How do you feel about fingernail, moon, asshole?
[00:51:54] Imagine, no, it's like the best middle aged black guy name.
[00:51:58] That I can't believe I didn't think of until recently.
[00:52:08] You don't see a lot of Lonnie's anymore.
[00:52:10] I'm the finance manager here at Dickhead Honda, you know?
[00:52:21] Well, folks, what's going on with Taiwan?
[00:52:47] And we're talking about Charlotte Ruse.
[00:52:54] Uh, so yeah, guys, two guests just showed up.
[00:53:08] Adam Friedland, your director for Monday's episode.
[00:53:11] Maybe use, maybe use like a normal, your normal.
[00:53:26] Try, maybe try the Charlie Rose voice and then do it again.
[00:53:34] Let's go not silly Charlie Rose, but just, just regular Charlie Rose.
[00:53:41] And then do like, you know, you're Charlie Rose.
[00:53:48] And wearing a bathrobe and the Hampton Street.
[00:53:54] It looks like a suit, but it's a bathrobe.
[00:54:02] He was accused of raping that woman and they made it seem like he was just wearing a regular
[00:54:06] bathrobe, but it was like a tuxedo bathrobe.
[00:54:16] Today was the director of such films as Wobble Palace from 2018 and Spree most recently from
[00:54:25] Wobble Palace, of course, starring our guests and a woman that I was once engaged to.
[00:54:40] It's been a honestly, it was honestly my dream as a little kid watching.
[00:54:50] That's the best part I wanted to talk about Charlie Rose.
[00:54:53] Charlie Rose getting me too, is that it was someone from PBS, which is too for them.
[00:54:59] Well, it's like when they caught a big bird.
[00:55:09] Yeah, it was a gay me too and he was innocent.
[00:55:17] Hey, can you talk with me and make sure?
[00:55:22] Oh, and all the guests wanted to make sure our gay me too is real.
[00:55:27] All the guests who also worked on this upcoming episode, the Monday episode of the Adam
[00:55:50] For the Monday, the upcoming Monday episode.
[00:55:52] And we, of course, the upcoming pickups for the end of the Monday episode that we are
[00:56:22] Now you, you, you, you, you, Jean, it says here on IMDB, you were born in Odessa, Ukraine.
[00:56:33] And you thank all your fans, all of the after you, you, you've been for supporting Ukraine
[00:56:38] Well, I went back for the first time last year.
[00:56:52] Um, so then I went back for the first time last year.
[00:57:06] Like the Hanya Taylor joy sort of like just roll with it.
[00:57:13] She, I think she's her like, she's from every royal house.
[00:57:21] She's Latina in the same way that fucking like some like English retard nephew married
[00:57:32] I care because I met people and they're like fighting and like hiding and like running away.
[00:57:35] And it's also sad like, you know, kind of a beautiful city again, bombed and shit.
[00:57:52] And of course the correct pronunciation is keve.
[00:57:54] You're going to make Adam intro himself the whole time.
[00:58:00] It's like, no, I introduced him at the top of the show.
[00:58:05] I don't want him doing the Charlie Rose thing forever.
[00:58:08] So just Charlie Rose is the best at it.
[00:58:10] You start with Charlie Rose and we find Adam somewhere in there.
[00:58:18] Is that your best impression like a southern guy?
[00:58:22] You're good at Nick and I do a Nick impression.
[00:58:27] I thought I could approximate, but some people are impressionists where it's like, I can
[00:58:33] You get that fucking unless you have like some thing where you click over and it's just
[00:58:37] the guy, it doesn't have that magic that like some impressions have.
[00:58:47] I learned this watching Drag Race actually.
[00:58:54] Well, yeah, I guess the drag is a woman.
[00:58:56] When they do this like game, they do it and some of them are just so flat.
[00:59:04] I like that when what's his name, Norm McDonald used to Bob Dole.
[00:59:09] And then he said something about that interview that I thought was good.
[00:59:12] He's like the best impressions are going to come from you when you love the person you're
[00:59:19] You actually have to like get them and love them and then you can do a really fucking
[00:59:28] I think he's just the sound like we have to watch.
[00:59:32] And I think he did such a good job on this period of being this Chinese guy.
[00:59:36] I was like, oh, he must really love Chinese guys.
[00:59:38] He must have like this like passion for Chinese guys.
[00:59:45] Well, these Chinese guys, you'd probably not keep on your nose clean if you know what
[00:59:53] I didn't say that Chinese people would care about any kind of racism.
[00:59:44] They literally don't even care that you're on the sidewalk.
[00:59:48] They can care less about your podcast or anything.
[00:59:54] They can care less about your podcast or anything.
[01:00:14] That's who I like is real Chinese people.
[01:00:18] When Chinese people get mad at me, I'm like, yeah, but what are the real Chinese people
[01:00:21] How many patrons do you think you have from like China?
[01:00:30] I don't think you can get this show in China.
[01:00:32] I don't think they're internet's going to lock down.
[01:00:38] My friend made a movie that no one saw.
[01:00:41] Then one day he looked at the video, it had 5 million views.
[01:00:45] Because no, because there's this one section, like 43 minutes in, where he's like simulating
[01:00:51] like eating girls pussy and just like a normal movie.
[01:00:55] And some Indonesian guy found it and they can't get like porn Indonesian if they get
[01:01:01] And like literally every single guy Indonesia has seen this like 10 seconds.
[01:01:07] And on YouTube, they would have like how to do a breast exam.
[01:01:11] Like getting zesicat and then like all the comments are like, oh my god.
[01:01:30] No, this is way better than the episode has been thus far.
[01:01:34] We did 50 minutes of perhaps one of the worst episodes we have.
[01:01:41] When I got on the elevator in here, there were these two guys that honestly looked like
[01:01:48] And then I was like, oh man, like their guests are getting really pathetic look.
[01:01:52] They're like getting just mirror people.
[01:01:54] You know, they said couples look alike.
[01:01:58] But they're just getting guests that look like pathetic versions of them.
[01:02:01] But these are just other guys who work in the building, I guess.
[01:02:09] It's a good sign because the more the show does not function without guests, the closer
[01:02:19] If you have anything you want to plug perhaps?
[01:02:21] I want to plug the new episode of the Adam Friedman show.
[01:02:30] Nick, I love to hear your contributions.
[01:02:33] He watched the rough cut of the first five minutes.
[01:02:41] I guess I have to wait until the all the rest of the time.
[01:02:47] And then he was like, do you want to come help edit?
[01:03:13] I know it's a dream come true for both of you.
[01:03:18] I'll be in Indianapolis September 16th through the 19th at Helium Comedy Club.
[01:03:22] I will absolutely cancel the shows if the tickets don't fucking start moving soon.
[01:03:27] So if you're anywhere within six hours of Indianapolis.
[01:03:32] I'm going to go to the 13th my birthday.
[01:03:42] And guys, Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles end of this month.
[01:03:47] Go to adamfieldland.com slash tour for tickets.
[01:03:50] Thanks so much to our guests and to my co-host Nick Mullen.
[01:03:59] Your top picture on IMDB is you and Vish.
[01:04:06] That was one of the great moments in my life looking good.
[01:04:11] But I haven't heard it as being exactly.