TAFS | Regular | 09/15/2022
[00:00:00] good evening ladies and gentlemen you are listening to the adam Friedland show
[00:00:08] i'd say on special episode uh... we're kind of in a time crunch here
[00:00:12] we've been working all day long and adam has made himself
[00:00:17] uh... sick of me he's he's tired he's gotta go home and
[00:00:22] and with his girlfriend so what i did because he wanted to do the episode
[00:00:31] i'm gonna go over to the stand and the first community and i see i'm gonna say
[00:00:35] i'll give you five hundred bucks to come do the adam Friedland show
[00:00:41] uh... as a gentleman please welcome matthew bursar to the adam Friedland show
[00:00:46] so you have uh... you've never you have no idea what this is
[00:00:52] yeah it's a very very good podcast so thanks to you are you familiar they come
[00:00:58] just i might i might have to uh... a switch my mic here so what are you
[00:01:02] you can continue saying the comptons good for like thirty seconds while i
[00:01:06] come down is good come down is great i listened to come down to the and like more
[00:01:10] like personal i wear comptown condoms something yeah
[00:01:13] no i like that it's just it's free in a way i dream of being it's funny it's it's
[00:01:18] uh... what what it's what people forgot comedy is which is just
[00:01:23] all the word irreverent makes my my dick travel but you know
[00:01:27] when it's actually real uh... it's great that's just yeah a big fans all you guys
[00:01:34] you know you'll talk shit on the ones on one episode did we yeah it was nice
[00:01:37] though is this working is that working now this sounds like it's worse than the
[00:01:44] god damn it i think all my cables are fucked up here we talk shit on you on an
[00:01:48] what it was i was going up against that can be going rose battle oh okay
[00:01:52] uh... but it was uh... you just said you wanted me to lose
[00:01:58] is that i said i also was act to win well yeah cuz acts that's got nothing in
[00:02:02] his life that's got nothing in his life sex for you if you're the you're the
[00:02:06] eighties bully guy yeah you're actually good comic you know it's funny cuz i
[00:02:09] remember you move the austin we're both just background or both of the dot
[00:02:13] and you moved to i'm just gonna have to make this work because this thing is
[00:02:17] is like way quiet on what the folks going on with all my cables
[00:02:23] mmm without me which you know my ego aside
[00:02:27] great smash it everybody loves it's very funny
[00:02:31] uh... no it's like but it's doing a Beyonce thing yeah that doesn't need the
[00:02:35] destiny's children yeah that's that's basically what it is but uh... but he
[00:02:39] finally would fucking he's he'd be like to be but look at this what's not
[00:02:43] what's not the fuck in the back of a pretzel time
[00:02:47] what's like an underword drawer yeah really of fun
[00:02:50] uh... made a mess of the wires so although mike's are broken now i guess
[00:02:57] so i don't call it doesn't matter people care about sound quality they do
[00:03:01] uh... and then also with the old show i would be like fuck the quality i don't
[00:03:04] really care but with this i'm trying to uh...
[00:03:13] and i don't know what either those words mean but i don't know they mean
[00:03:20] fucking everything more high reward the more yet more it sucks the better
[00:03:25] and with this it's like you know balls of the wall go
[00:03:30] make sure uh... you know i get my like fucking
[00:03:33] my like neurological issues sorted before i hit fucking record but uh...
[00:03:42] yet not at all people it's funny people ever suggested that it's like i have
[00:03:49] i'm like i've been wearing the same clothes for like a fucking week what do you
[00:03:52] mean my ocd you get a lot done though is a mess i'll you biking one time and you
[00:03:56] would like you're fixing your car and like shipping t-shirts i was like that's
[00:04:00] yeah well i think it's a business someone it's it's somebody that they just
[00:04:04] could stay as busy instead of thinking about things
[00:04:08] uh... yes austin yeah i remember you move the austin sort of after me and
[00:04:14] that the whole does everyone's always like
[00:04:16] the divide but what i hated about aweson is like they were just like that
[00:04:20] once you did comedy for a year there you got brought into this like
[00:04:24] into the scene and then it was like they had just had the shitty attitude
[00:04:28] to anyone who was new like really toxic it's it's it's like that whole thing
[00:04:33] whatever is where the real bullies are the nerds yeah i know it's funny
[00:04:37] is i remember to be like madam brusard fuck this guy and i was like all right
[00:04:41] i guess fuck this guy whatever yeah it's my friends ain't it yeah and then i
[00:04:44] was like oh no you're actually like a good comic so appreciate that you know i
[00:04:50] yeah they just don't like it yet they they love like low effort comedy they
[00:04:56] they had their ten minutes that only worked inside the perimeter they couldn't
[00:04:59] perform at bar shows and and and right well they are in a rural areas yeah the
[00:05:03] austin scene was kind of set up for like uh...
[00:05:07] because uh... like you know like people get their contest that ready yeah and
[00:05:12] then they would spend the entire year thinking about the funniest person in
[00:05:15] it's like don't you want to be like a good comical yeah she's thinking about
[00:05:19] like writing more than ten minutes of material and i'm trying to like hang
[00:05:22] out with the comedy central people yeah in one time in april and then you're
[00:05:26] just depressed for the rest of the year because you didn't get fucking
[00:05:29] the finals yeah live a gotham or fucking because he's a really hand shit to
[00:05:33] people in austin they really did and as a Houston comic we were very angry
[00:05:37] about that yeah what was funny is i remember moving on sin and i would go to
[00:05:42] i remember you know thinking like cuz you also has a reputation being a great
[00:05:46] and it's kind of state in austin i remember the first time i went to dallas
[00:05:49] i was blown away at how fucking good the comedians and dallas were
[00:05:53] i mean it was unreal like paul vargis fucking mark a g
[00:05:56] uh... area area area area area areas whatever is where the bar tone bell
[00:06:04] right here at the edge of so many strong yeah i saw a siddiki
[00:06:08] really strong comments come out of there
[00:06:09] because i think that the bar shows they go to places where it's kind of harder
[00:06:12] to do comedy was the austin comister kind of coddled well they would write
[00:06:14] jokes they would write it as jokes were as in austin and people would start with
[00:06:18] like uh... you know like this is what i this is what i want to sound like
[00:06:22] and then i'll figure i figure out joke the basics later yeah you know so yeah
[00:06:27] i remember and then yet not only were all the dallas comics
[00:06:32] they're all jacked all of them were like that they were all just mad member one
[00:06:36] one show and it's like is everyone on this show of fucking firefighter i
[00:06:43] yes nothing but austin that someone pointed out to me later was that
[00:06:46] there was an all-scene mmm there was the club in the club booked the best
[00:06:50] all comics mmm so there was no divide between allton club there was that
[00:06:57] yeah they got to like cast you aside yeah
[00:07:00] they go in their little face book groups and like we're uh... we're in
[00:07:02] mixing this person yet usually all in club or good because they check each
[00:07:06] other yeah because whenever you hang around in common for a while you get
[00:07:09] someone some loser tag along your group you like but you're not no more
[00:07:12] publicly their bad comic and that's when the other group comes in i think it
[00:07:15] was just it's it's it's like a like a group uh... i mean the austin suffered
[00:07:21] it people want to go to use to be awesome was a cool place yeah
[00:07:25] well you know really was like fifteen years ago so
[00:07:28] you know they people want the comments and go hang out there the fucking
[00:07:31] bookers for jfl want to go hang out there
[00:07:34] and that's why austin comix got booked for these things it's not because they're
[00:07:39] it's just because the spotlight happened in the air it's because it's a
[00:07:42] cooler place to hang out in fucking dallas yeah you know so common
[00:07:48] uh... now i don't think i've ever performed in his son it's a great
[00:07:51] fucking city be there it's ugly i'll be there like three weeks
[00:07:55] how are you doing to send improv oh yeah
[00:07:58] it's fucking it's an awesome the best food yeah it's diverse it's gotten
[00:08:02] nasa the world's biggest medical district
[00:08:05] and uh... one of the has yet all the oil companies so you have like really
[00:08:10] educated i never understood that they should they launched the spaceships
[00:08:14] from florida but then he's been is like the commission control center
[00:08:19] that's what they do i mean that's what kab can ever was in florida
[00:08:22] you know why they do that i go that you simply have a problem yeah
[00:08:26] you know what they launched from florida now
[00:08:28] uh... closer to the quieter has higher rotational velocity
[00:08:32] best place initially you acted like you didn't even know that they were doing
[00:08:35] it in florida and then you'd have the exact reason why i know why they do it
[00:08:39] for i have no idea why he was supposed to do it all i i know
[00:08:42] yeah it's not like there's like many good schools around it's gotta be
[00:08:46] so i get i guarantee it's unlike fucking bureaucratic federal government
[00:08:51] or some oil baron yeah i was just like had some bid with nasa and then they
[00:08:55] had the fucking build the mission control center there's a
[00:08:59] yet for you i i don't want to fuck me up as a kid is is because they go
[00:09:02] houston we have a problem and you know they launched it in florida michael who
[00:09:09] yeah i didn't understand that it was like others in a different also no way it's
[00:09:13] used in it's probably like katie or humble
[00:09:15] i doubt that i doubt the yeah like nasa's i don't know we're getting real deep in
[00:09:18] the texas stuff here like yeah let's switch to tennessee yeah let's mix it up
[00:09:22] so i don't get too lost i remember i remember being i was when i was a call
[00:09:27] i had a fucking i think you know the talk to these fucking retards it live
[00:09:33] that live outside of houston to help them with their diet their dial up i guess
[00:09:38] it was a call center is like a you know technical support for for for for
[00:09:44] yeah for the place to be in the back of like guns in ammo there'd be a fucking
[00:09:51] my i hear my mom call those people sometimes i just feel so bad
[00:09:55] well the other person is so stupid that is the worst job in the world i got
[00:10:02] i could i would be blackout drunk and i'd be like i can't stand being at work
[00:10:07] today like to they berate you does i got i i'd like i could probably i could
[00:10:18] and it obviously later we cause massive amounts of trauma but in the moment i'd
[00:10:22] be like whatever i'm being fucking right you know yeah it feels
[00:10:26] no i'm like fucking looking at the clock i'm like maybe i was fucking clocking out
[00:10:30] now maybe i just i couldn't handle it it sucked it but
[00:10:35] what could you do it did you do it right why works from home so
[00:10:38] yeah i'd start back before that was a thing yeah no they you work for a while
[00:10:42] you graduate to it and then yeah i would just start drinking like 10 a.m
[00:10:46] jesus and um it was when i lived with chris cubus
[00:10:50] in austin yeah oh wow yeah yeah and so yeah i would take calls
[00:10:54] and they would be guys from like uh yeah like
[00:10:56] yeah outside houston and there was a guy i was talking to
[00:11:00] one time and he's like well you know i'm in conroe
[00:11:03] where are you at conroe and i'm like i'm in austin and he's like
[00:11:07] austin well i feel bad for you and they act like it's
[00:11:13] yeah i posted a video about austin yeah i'm just like in a trans bathroom
[00:11:17] like july right they're like austin's a liberal
[00:11:21] shithole fucking welfare state it's not texas yeah now that's the bay
[00:11:26] now it sucks for different reasons very different reasons it's like it sucked
[00:11:29] in a lot of different ways you know it's it's funny that those guys
[00:11:32] ended up being right about austin that it was then it turned when out what
[00:11:36] austin is now is what they always like we're like oh that's what austin it's a
[00:11:40] bunch of me's it's a bunch of dudes who look like me a bunch of tech bros
[00:11:43] right they actually did take they should have kept me out you know what it's
[00:11:47] it's rich texas women with like their dad's oil
[00:11:50] face going to econox yeah you know just like women that look like jeb
[00:11:55] bush yeah you know that's always because i went to
[00:11:58] yeah went to a private school in atlanta and my parents always like told me
[00:12:04] uh whenever i was like feeling like i didn't fit in they're like you have to
[00:12:07] understand these families have generational wealth
[00:12:10] so it's it's it's the richest guy marrying the prettiest girl
[00:12:14] and then their kids are rich and pretty and then their kids
[00:12:18] will uh find the either either the richest guy or the prettiest girl and
[00:12:23] they're just genetically better than you it's it's it's a it's a kennel club that
[00:12:27] you can't compete with but every now and then you're right you'd see that
[00:12:30] old or whatever plantation barren face on a young woman
[00:12:37] yeah and always bleach blonde hair is that better that no this thing is dead
[00:12:41] a fucking killed the board um yes and well they get inbred like
[00:12:46] hapsburgs or whatever yeah so then they really start to look fucked up at a
[00:12:49] certain point yeah they always talk about like poor
[00:12:52] people being inbred rich people do it too yeah because they want to keep it
[00:12:56] in line well rich rich women from generational wealth they get that
[00:12:59] fucking like that they thin-lipped kind of William F buckley mouth
[00:13:03] oh yeah like a bird yeah yeah less like a bird more like you know like a little
[00:13:07] dinosaurs and like a proto fucking bird yeah you know back when they were all
[00:13:12] flightless also it's kind of unfair that we put
[00:13:15] inbreeding just on white people i have this theory that white people are just
[00:13:19] so uptight about race that we're afraid to assume i figured out what the
[00:13:23] problem was oh you found it yeah i had i had a
[00:13:26] like the decibel cut oh no just in time for my uh racist theory
[00:13:30] let's hear a racist story about why rich people do what no why white people
[00:13:35] in breeding is such a oh that's what white people do
[00:13:38] i'm like i think every race does that i think white people are just afraid to
[00:13:40] ask uh people of another race if they're related
[00:13:43] yeah you know or like i don't want to assume their brother and sister because
[00:13:46] that be racist yeah then they get they just get away with incest yeah you be
[00:13:49] that's too it's like how do they not how do they know you know because they all
[00:13:52] look so similar you know i mean are you do you have
[00:13:56] inbreeding in your family i don't think so i would imagine that i have in
[00:14:00] breeding in my family i don't even know like probably i mean it's
[00:14:03] my grandparents were second cousins i learned at my grandma's funeral
[00:14:07] really i have a reunion yeah that's crazy my dad's
[00:14:09] well those are the jews those were like jews from lithuania who came over in
[00:14:13] breeding jews to get away from the you know why is it only the lithuanian
[00:14:19] jews that escaped it seems like every jew is either
[00:14:21] they're like either lithuanian or russian or like some kind of dog
[00:14:27] shit desert thing yeah uh it'd be like you guys
[00:14:30] all the other like you guys it's like i'm jewish it's like no you're a cab
[00:14:33] driver i don't you know the oh the Sephardic yeah right oh yeah well
[00:14:37] they never guys persecuted they just stayed in the desert yeah like the jews
[00:14:41] split up a bunch of jews went to europe or the caucus mountains and then they
[00:14:45] mostly bred with white people so as long as the mother was jewish they
[00:14:49] stayed jewish it's so funny because if you weren't jewish and you were saying
[00:14:52] all of these things people would be like this is the most racist
[00:14:56] this is one of those like richard spencer guys oh yeah yeah because you look
[00:14:59] like a fascist i look very racist yeah i look like an
[00:15:02] old money racist yeah yeah like the one who like
[00:15:06] organizes a rally but doesn't show up um
[00:15:09] they uh oh yeah jews so jews inbred a lot because their population bottleneck
[00:15:13] so much and then cagens which is my dad's side apparently like 300
[00:15:17] cagens originally cagens were the french canadians who were expelled from
[00:15:20] a cadia sir dad's like a cajun jewish guy he's not jewish oh
[00:15:24] he's just straight trash cajun oh but he was like autistic and really good
[00:15:28] at chemistry i was imagining like a hiscitic jewish guy
[00:15:31] and then it's like how did then how's his son like the fuck it like greggery
[00:15:35] marmalade ha you know what i mean yeah i don't get that reference but
[00:15:38] it's the bad guy from uh what about jefferson darcy that were
[00:15:43] marmalade is marmalade fucking revenge of the nerds or animal house
[00:15:47] oh i get i know the rest or yeah oh yeah i not in picture of you
[00:15:51] why the fuck can i remember that so this is what i mean by neurological
[00:15:54] problems yeah how the fuck can i remember the name
[00:15:57] greggery marmalade and i can't i can't remember whether it's animal house or
[00:16:02] revenge of the nerds i remember all of the lyrics to all of the theme songs
[00:16:05] from the cartoon is growing up it's animal house
[00:16:08] greg marmalade is the bad guy in animal house oh yeah
[00:16:12] yeah he was like a surfer i think i went on a wikipedia binge on him he was
[00:16:15] like a surfer who dropped out of college yeah uh now i look
[00:16:19] french so i just got all my dad's french jeans but the so the cajons got
[00:16:23] kicked out of louis uh got kicked out of
[00:16:25] acadia and they all moved down to louisiana and apparently they were like 300 of
[00:16:29] them mmm originally and now they've spawned hundreds of thousands so like
[00:16:33] there is if you go up my family tree you see bruceards in every direction
[00:16:36] so that is like uh that that is inbreeding they're very inbred yeah
[00:16:40] there's sort of a source not very healthy not very educated and then biance is a
[00:16:45] descendant of the bruceard there was like one bruceard who like read
[00:16:49] led the rebellion joseph bruceard he's like our hero and then like
[00:16:52] his great great great great granddaughter is biance so that's
[00:16:55] not a fun story about why she's yeah so it's it's technically illegal for you
[00:17:00] to fuck biance because of because it's incest oh yes yeah that's the only
[00:17:06] thing holding me back yeah yeah uh so whenever people like
[00:17:10] you know would you fuck biance you're like well yeah obviously we've talked
[00:17:13] about it yeah related but so our kids would come out
[00:17:16] beautiful yeah and do you think she's hot is she would you fuck biance
[00:17:21] yes but i'm not like i'm not like jaw dropped over her you would think that
[00:17:25] your brain would be like oh gross no because she's black because no
[00:17:30] because you're racist yeah no uh because you're related to her no
[00:17:34] because she's half white it's okay yeah or whatever part white now do you think
[00:17:38] you're on the black side or the white side what's that do you think you're on the
[00:17:41] black side or the white side or beyond the
[00:17:43] sister be careful with a black but like if you go if you go i'm on the uh
[00:17:46] i'm on the slave owner side right exactly go tell a black person i'm
[00:17:49] actually related to biance it's not fun yeah and i do a bit on stage about
[00:17:52] how there's no famous cagions and i'm uh except for like Ellen DeGeneres i'm
[00:17:57] so afraid someone's gonna shout biance i'm like
[00:17:59] yeah that's uh yeah i'm really i'm really a
[00:18:03] black girl one time and like she's black this goes dark
[00:18:07] and uh her last name was like degena batista or something
[00:18:12] and it was like it's wild to imagine like just
[00:18:15] like it's just a fucking wap slave owning family at some point in the
[00:18:20] paper yeah they're like do you like you did the
[00:18:22] fucking spaghetti wrong yeah how the fuck how do you fuck how do you
[00:18:25] fuck up a ragu you know what i mean yeah and it's like
[00:18:30] because you know they're why i want to the reason italian's erasers now is
[00:18:33] because they never got that none of them actually doesn't use a whip he
[00:18:36] whips off his gucci belt and use that instead yeah
[00:18:39] right yeah that's that's why they've made i don't think any italian's
[00:18:42] actually owned there were jewish slave owners i looked this up i did a show
[00:18:46] hey georgia you gotta tell me pal yeah i know i didn't know
[00:18:49] oh really i didn't i did a show in georgia one time and it was like a really
[00:18:53] republican country club cloud uh crowd on the coast
[00:18:56] and uh political ideologies were up for clash but i
[00:19:00] the show went fine anyway i talk about the the south being anti-semanic and
[00:19:03] some guy comes with avi was he was like uh
[00:19:06] benjamin greenberg i don't know if you know that i'm making that but benjamin
[00:19:09] greenberg oh i would have it but he had an actual name of a jewish slave owner
[00:19:13] no he had he had a name of the first jewish senator
[00:19:17] who was uh uh on the side of the confederacy yeah i'm like hey we're not
[00:19:22] proud of him i'm going to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and pretend
[00:19:25] that he was just preparing for jeopardy but they had never watched the job
[00:19:28] yeah i had no idea what had no idea what kind of
[00:19:31] cards they had yeah racist jews were 400
[00:19:35] katie i'll come to dinner in a minute i'm memorizing all the jews slave owners
[00:19:41] so i can win jeopardy and find the boss a slave of our own
[00:19:45] that's funny man the i didn't show a park show during the pandemic
[00:19:49] hey thanks yeah it's great it's great um i did a park show during the pandemic
[00:19:54] uh i was like closing out this park show it was going like decently well for a
[00:19:57] park show yeah and i did how excited were the shakespeare in the park
[00:20:01] fags for coronavirus they finally finally finally
[00:20:04] they're like oh this is going to come back yeah i'm finally gonna be the next
[00:20:08] robin williams or ever the fuck did that is my time to shine because people like
[00:20:12] famous people it sounds like started off at shakespeare in the park i think
[00:20:15] yeah but i thought during the pandemic like alic bulbin was like let me do it
[00:20:18] that was the thing the pandemic a bunch of people like lowered like movie stars
[00:20:21] started doing tv shows theater comics started doing clubs so maybe
[00:20:24] they got edged out right away yeah tom cruises at a job at journies
[00:20:29] here they've got bumped all the way down the fuck that tough guy
[00:20:31] with his size four shoes um did this park show i had done like 10 minutes
[00:20:37] and uh i was like uh so i'm jewish and he jews in the audience a couple people
[00:20:41] raised their hand i go oh you jewish you jewish you jewish you jewish cool
[00:20:44] and the last girl was black and like it's brooklyn i'm not gonna make anything
[00:20:47] out of it and she was like and then as i started the joke she goes
[00:20:50] bet she didn't expect a black girl to be jewish i was like
[00:20:52] oh cool which side mom's side both sides she was like
[00:20:56] ethiopian jewish oh cool that's great yeah uh and i tried to start my set she
[00:21:01] was like you know you're very racist i was like i didn't
[00:21:04] talk about race she was like white people can't be jews the only white people
[00:21:07] that are jews we're actually a group of of white
[00:21:09] concussions she's like a uh she's like a heber israel
[00:21:13] yeah and she was spending this whole thing about meanwhile i guarantee you the
[00:21:16] most racist white guy in the room was like
[00:21:19] preach preach fucking church sister the horseshoe spectrum is real
[00:21:24] yeah all the way to one extreme they all sound alike right and the funny part
[00:21:28] she didn't even look like grompy you cannot find a single like nazi there
[00:21:32] is not a single far right guy in the world mhm who has anything
[00:21:38] but absolute love in his heart for the black israelites dude
[00:21:42] there's not a single one that's like fuck these guys they all love them
[00:21:47] you know david duke is yeah so the guy before him with that role
[00:21:50] mhm benjamin green spand yeah that's right is that a jew
[00:21:53] yeah whatever is no i guess he can't be yeah uh oh you're calling back yeah
[00:21:58] right uh he he said about the the black israelites like oh yeah they're the
[00:22:03] black version of us mmm yeah yeah basically it's so great my brother
[00:22:07] doesn't he saw them on a corner one time he was like oh like other jews that he
[00:22:11] started talking to him was like oh this is a weird corruption of like
[00:22:16] eugenic racial purity yeah yeah i think it's odd it's a whole
[00:22:20] area but i mean i respect them because they're trolls
[00:22:23] yeah that's that's all they are um i gotta do i gotta do a little ad read real
[00:22:27] here oh hell yeah real quick here today's episode is brought to you by
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[00:22:37] sure are you now oh damn i was gonna ask you i don't give a fuck about anything
[00:22:42] anymore so i don't like uh college ball for me
[00:22:46] yeah the campaign well i guess you can bet on that
[00:22:49] so if you have there's if there's big get what are you betting on you bet
[00:22:52] uh i'll bet on alabama just for safety okay well you can bet on alabama my
[00:22:56] bookie dot ag and so here's the copy i'll just read the copy
[00:23:00] sorry joey if adam rehary put a little more uh a little more
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[00:23:46] me and joey had a conversation i guess about changing the promo code
[00:23:50] i can't uh there's one of those and i don't know if we settle anything so do
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[00:24:15] bookie uh so yeah what are you betting on about no alabama
[00:24:20] now i'll see you all the way now is that based on your personal like emotional
[00:24:24] connection alabama or do i think they're a better team to win i just think
[00:24:28] they're the best team oh okay because it's all they do down there
[00:24:31] i'm just win yeah it's football yeah you know scc that's
[00:24:35] they're they breed for it they yeah select for it but alabama isn't the only
[00:24:39] school in the south no but it's like they have nothing else going
[00:24:43] like georgia has like technology and film and florida has tourism in alabama
[00:24:48] they got well they have nasa yeah no i i remember stopping at a gas station
[00:24:53] in in alabama it could have been mrs. it would be but i'm pretty sure it was
[00:24:56] alabama and i've spent very limited time in alabama
[00:24:59] yeah and i was in there and it was like is this
[00:25:03] english is this the english language the people are speaking yeah
[00:25:07] which is worse mrs. sippy or alabama i think they're both kind of on par they're
[00:25:10] the same shape they're just like one it's like new ham turn vermont
[00:25:13] yeah wow it's like they're the fuck they just wed they're like oh this is two
[00:25:17] things yeah i haven't done comment of like there's only six states i haven't
[00:25:21] done comedy in and those are the last two vermont those are two of them no i'm
[00:25:24] mrs. sippy and alabama i haven't been in okay i performed in mrs. sippy i actually
[00:25:27] had a great time in this sippy yeah figure the cities in those places are
[00:25:32] really cool like some of the coolest cities you ever go to are like like
[00:25:34] blue little bubbles in red states because they feel like they have to like
[00:25:38] make up for everything going around them it's at west virginia i don't know i
[00:25:42] think a lot of them suck actually like i heard
[00:25:44] what is it mobile is that the big city? oh mill yeah
[00:25:47] hunsville mobile i i was told that is a absolute
[00:25:50] shithole uh bloxy oh yeah sucks dick apparently that's
[00:25:55] or my my family's from alabama so half my mom's side it's a shame because
[00:25:59] bloxy's a great name yeah it is they have fun names down there
[00:26:02] all the uh native americans they wiped out they but they have some more fun
[00:26:06] name because jersey's got a lot of native america jerseys
[00:26:09] some of the names in that fucking stator absolutely retarded like what
[00:26:21] isn't there one there's a jersey town that's like
[00:26:24] who it's like hohoku well they're like a mix in new jersey it's like either
[00:26:28] like west mr shire uh or like makama walk
[00:26:33] there's a the midwest has a lot of native americans that name cities and they were
[00:26:38] very white uh wakasha that was wakisha when i went there one time
[00:26:42] hoo hoo kun i think is i think oh god damn it
[00:26:48] new jersey let me do it's like hohoku new jersey is hoboaken
[00:26:53] hoboaken's probably also uh kennadik it's native american hohoku's
[00:26:58] yeah hohoku hohoku's is that oh yeah because a lot of the aukis
[00:27:04] sikakis yeah but it's it's spelled h-o-h-o-k-us
[00:27:09] that's really dumb yeah hohoku's hohoku's yeah but like sikakis that's another
[00:27:15] dumb one those are like really what they consider
[00:27:18] a city in the northeast is so much smaller yeah and what they consider a
[00:27:22] city in the south like mobile is like you know you just drive through little
[00:27:26] towns in new jersey there's so many little ones and
[00:27:28] oh man what's the worst state the worst state in the world
[00:27:32] in america um it's hard to say i mean i know florida gets a lot of
[00:27:39] shit but florida has a lot of choices yeah florida's got a lot of good stuff
[00:27:43] and a big problem with florida is that they have like some open
[00:27:45] blotter police blotter thing that's where florida man comes from it's not that
[00:27:49] they have more crime it's just that they're allowed to
[00:27:51] publish anything supposedly oh yeah that's
[00:27:54] yeah a lot of florida facts yet my uh that's like weird i feel like i feel
[00:27:58] like a like a compulsive liar because i have like claims to so many states
[00:28:02] yeah my brother went to florida my aunt and uncle but i know a lot of
[00:28:05] people that live in a lot of states and i'm not like yeah it's actually the
[00:28:10] the because it's closer to the equator the title wins like i don't know that
[00:28:13] kind of shit about well i have like no social skills in my brain so i have a
[00:28:17] lot of room for unimportant facts so it's nice
[00:28:20] so what were you what were you saying what do you think the worst state is
[00:28:23] west virginia seems up there no see oh i disagree with you okay west
[00:28:27] virginia is top five west virginia is people or
[00:28:32] the people the people are nice but yeah the the as a place it's it's very poor
[00:28:36] but it's again it's a beautiful state there's like a lot of good music comes
[00:28:40] out of there like a lot of bluegrass in like country they write about west
[00:28:42] virginia sure yeah okay then i put alabama
[00:28:45] mrs. sippy probably the most the most famous and i've told this i've told this
[00:28:48] anecdote on the show a billion times but the john denver song
[00:28:52] not really uh particularly it's probably the most famous
[00:28:56] like cultural touchstone as far as related to west virginia and they love
[00:29:01] take me home yes country roads wait was west virginia
[00:29:04] when the one that like sat out of the civil war
[00:29:08] um that's why they i think they were just it was just a part of virginia during
[00:29:11] the civil war there was no west virginia i thought the civil war created west
[00:29:15] virginia or something maybe something like that which is
[00:29:17] here because i would imagine west virginia is now more racist than virginia
[00:29:20] um is it i don't think it's more racist look at the most racist things
[00:29:26] yeah it's just it's uh it's just very poor
[00:29:29] um but no i i i i i adore west virginia i think yeah mrs.
[00:29:34] bjallabana though worst ones the worst states you think i think so
[00:29:39] they rank pretty low yeah yeah no i'll defend how much
[00:29:42] time have you spent in west virginia oh i just drove through i'm fascinated
[00:29:46] by it i really want to go there yeah it's really it's really pretty i think i
[00:29:49] went to wheeling and it was just like just so poor like they were like
[00:29:53] empty buildings on the river yeah it's very sad i mean like the
[00:29:56] the level of poverty i mean that west virginia has towns where you know i
[00:30:00] mean it's like simply you know people talk about the flint but there's
[00:30:03] there's plenty of places in west virginia where they just don't have you can't
[00:30:05] just you can't drink the water there's don't have really yeah yeah
[00:30:09] oh a ballad of uh billy the kid that's a billy joll song from a town known as
[00:30:14] wheeling west virginia is the opening lyrics so that's he writes a lot of but he
[00:30:17] kind of just shits on places yeah he does that he shits on women and places and
[00:30:21] that he just gets a pass for it and the people there love it i mean like you
[00:30:25] know allentown famously yeah when you're not so i know yeah he's like
[00:30:28] fuck allentown this place sucks dick and no one has a fucking job and everyone
[00:30:32] wants to kill themselves used to be cool maybe back there in the fucking
[00:30:36] don't world war two when the only other thing going on was a fucking holocaust
[00:30:39] but other than that this place sucks and then he plays that song
[00:30:44] in allentown and they're like you yeah yeah fuck us
[00:30:49] you know fuck this fucking town just acknowledge us please yeah
[00:30:53] and it's weird because only a couple you know like
[00:30:56] artists get to do that and it's weird because the billy joll is largely
[00:31:01] seen as sort of like uh i feel he's like he's in a very earnest
[00:31:04] yeah very earnest very like you know kind of like accessible
[00:31:08] feel good kind of music and uh and yeah he just shits he just shits on places
[00:31:14] and people yeah he's very cynical about people when you're not from a big town
[00:31:18] though you're just happy because i grew up i spent 10 years in corpus christy
[00:31:21] yeah and i was just happy to hear the name even if people were shitting on it
[00:31:25] i'm like hey people acknowledge our existence
[00:31:28] that's kind of a that place can be better yeah so you have your from corpus
[00:31:32] christy just like your entire childhood you know ages three to 13 and then
[00:31:37] georgia oh weird that's yeah i didn't know that
[00:31:39] corpus is that's like a that's like a weird place to be from it's a weird
[00:31:42] place to be from yeah a lot of people don't make it out
[00:31:44] it's like just cozy it's just enough of
[00:31:47] that's like they think they're a city yeah until you leave like i didn't know
[00:31:52] it's barely a fucking i thought it was supposed to be a beach town and it's
[00:31:55] barely at least it's on the bay and the bay is all like
[00:31:58] gulf oil the water is dark greens the color of the wall yeah
[00:32:01] and it's just it doesn't seem to progress yeah it has one airport that flies to
[00:32:06] houston and dallas that's it uh... and it's three hundred thousand people
[00:32:12] they got a little selena was born selena they got a two-story
[00:32:15] she was killed there they got a two-story water burger oh yeah
[00:32:19] that's a big year in the statue of selena they also have uh they also have
[00:32:27] oh no it's not even important i just did a show there and they had an outback
[00:32:31] stake house yeah we were really excited when i got a
[00:32:33] cracker barrel that was a big fucking deal
[00:32:35] yeah now i remember i remember going i remember at that outback
[00:32:39] states house getting the blooming on and then also the blooming on and the
[00:32:42] blooming burger what is that what that would sound like blooming
[00:32:45] and i put the blooming on and on a burger basically
[00:32:48] you're healthy guy at the time i mean i was that was
[00:32:51] those those were uh i was just i was doing i was like hosting
[00:32:55] for lucas melon does and then fucking bracing was featuring
[00:32:59] all right and uh yeah i kind of just went along for the ride
[00:33:03] and then had to sleep in the floor the hotel room after
[00:33:06] after getting trashed all night at the show i don't even remember the show
[00:33:10] yeah that was those were gay times doing so i don't know if it was corporism i
[00:33:15] mean you that then soured your picture of corpus
[00:33:18] no well maybe i mean it was like i think you know i mean i would have gotten
[00:33:21] drunk anywhere but yeah it's like this that's like you know we get that you know
[00:33:25] you like in your head you're like yeah i'm a comic i'm on the road and then
[00:33:29] you're like this is a this is the shittiest bar show
[00:33:32] yeah like you know i mean even i wouldn't do this if it was in the town i
[00:33:36] i did that in in houston we would go on runs i never got to do what they did the
[00:33:40] valley they would do like the border like run along the border and do shows
[00:33:43] there and that was hell shows i did paris texas once
[00:33:46] great movie yeah yeah yeah it's where my girlfriend's parents got
[00:33:51] married i think to that movie to that movie they got married i don't know the
[00:33:54] movie paris texas it's where the people don't get married two
[00:33:57] things you know they fuck two things but nobody
[00:33:59] marries two things yeah that was said you know with gay marriage like we're
[00:34:03] worried people are going to start marrying their horses
[00:34:04] i was like that'd be kind of cool yeah yeah you could listen to just
[00:34:08] dependent um do you think that do you think we're
[00:34:12] headed that way do you think people will marry their horses
[00:34:15] i don't know man it's gotten like that whole
[00:34:19] i support gay marriage i support all those things but it's crazy how much it's
[00:34:23] escalated since the uh i guess my biggest fear is like
[00:34:27] people being able to identify as more than one person i'm not saying like
[00:34:30] non-binary what i don't give the fuck about that but like yeah
[00:34:33] someone's gonna be like i get to count myself twice on this on this
[00:34:36] voter form or something like i'm afraid we're gonna
[00:34:39] because the like the fundamental notion is the idea of the individual every one
[00:34:42] of us is one person that's the only thing we can really count you can't
[00:34:45] soul can't be two things but what if like someone is just like no i call
[00:34:49] myself two people and i'm gonna be married to myself
[00:34:52] because we're two different people and your fear in that is that it'll fuck up
[00:34:55] the senses yeah i like math oh i really like math and i hate when
[00:34:59] people do stuff that fucks with math that might be
[00:35:02] more fascist than just being like yeah blacks or a lesser race
[00:35:06] yeah i i will do a lot of horrible things in the name of good day also
[00:35:10] liked math is is the people that built the adding machines that counted up all the
[00:35:15] Jews during the holocaust who were probably those are worse people
[00:35:19] yeah but it was probably they probably got Jews to do it
[00:35:21] yeah against other Jews was made them even worse yeah they weren't just
[00:35:25] Germans who love their job they were Jews you can always find a backstabber
[00:35:28] in any group yeah i bet there were yeah i wonder if there were Jews that played
[00:35:32] ball in the holocaust and they're like we'll get you get you a sweet
[00:35:35] sweet deal i thought you meant like was there a basketball team at Auschwitz
[00:35:39] oh i fucking yeah that's what it when you said that i forgot that played ball
[00:35:45] is an expression i'll play ball oh yeah like when yeah like crooked
[00:35:48] politicians yeah i was imagining like a really shitty
[00:35:51] movie about like a like an upstart kind of they're like yeah we may be in a
[00:35:55] death camp but that doesn't mean we can't be the best
[00:35:57] damn the Auschwitz bobcats yeah yeah just like
[00:36:01] slap shot but with the holocaust basketball though look we're all gonna
[00:36:05] fucking die we might as well be the most violent basketball team
[00:36:09] oh yeah fucking polyn elbows yeah yeah you ever see that movie slap shot
[00:36:13] no great movie kind of no any of your references today
[00:36:16] oh well the holocaust was uh there was six million Jews they killed but that
[00:36:20] didn't happen right uh it's disputed i i mean i think it
[00:36:24] happened personally personally yeah personally i believe
[00:36:27] i believe in the holocaust but i also still believe in santa so
[00:36:31] you know so the holocaust this is real is santa yeah yeah famous famous last
[00:36:35] words what why what happens do die after you say
[00:36:39] um the if you say that three times the holocaust happens again
[00:36:43] interesting so it's a good at candy man what's it candy man or is it bloody
[00:36:47] mary what was the blood you remember bloody mary no what was bloody mary
[00:36:50] i don't know there's a candy man was you say three times yeah
[00:36:53] we said it twice so we shouldn't say it again yeah
[00:36:56] um yeah i think it was a bloody mary as girls would be like if you say
[00:37:00] bloody mary in the bathroom three times the lights go out and the mirror fills
[00:37:04] the blood it's like shut up you dumb bitch that's how
[00:37:07] what happens well it's dumb superstitions it's like astrology
[00:37:10] and women stay believing that shit you think they'd stop but they continue
[00:37:14] with that throughout their whole lives are you superstitious no
[00:37:17] no i do one thing i judge people who are superstitious but i say rabbit rabbit
[00:37:21] i don't even i don't even believe in like actual provable causality
[00:37:25] you know what i mean yeah yeah i'm the same way i don't have i can't be like
[00:37:29] off if i carry this yeah if i carry this lucky totem
[00:37:32] something will happen i don't even believe i don't believe it
[00:37:36] i'd be like oh if i drink and drive something bad will happen even though
[00:37:39] yes it's demonstrably true that something bad will
[00:37:42] eventually happen you're more likely but to me now
[00:37:46] no so how could i be superstitious i believe that i think i can continue i
[00:37:51] think i can smoke cigarettes for 20 years and if i quit now
[00:37:54] then it's like well i'd only get cancer if you smoke
[00:37:57] until you get cancer i've ever told you about these what is that zin
[00:38:02] it's nicotine non-tobacco nicotine pouches so it's like snooze but there's no
[00:38:07] tobacco and it's uh very addictive i don't recommend
[00:38:11] getting started i've never smoked a cigarette my life i just bought these
[00:38:13] at a gas station one day and i've tried to quit three times now
[00:38:17] and um they don't know they don't know if it's bad for you right now there's no
[00:38:21] proof that it is bad for you but i also understand that those industries will
[00:38:24] spend a lot of money to hide that information
[00:38:26] so uh i am the guinea pig i am the experiment
[00:38:31] well that's like the vaping stuff like they didn't think the internet was
[00:38:34] gonna be bad for people now that's like it's
[00:38:37] maybe the worst one like looking at social media now of like this is
[00:38:40] have you seen the stuff they got released with like the whistleblower
[00:38:45] the what with the google whistleblower the guy that just is like fucking
[00:38:48] willy wonka and the kid that he turned into a blueberry
[00:38:51] what's that fucking guy the guy that was no no they're fucking
[00:38:54] the guy that was like uh oh google made an ai it's real
[00:38:58] and everyone was like talking about it seriously for a week and then a picture
[00:39:01] of the guy came out and everyone just stopped talking about it oh yeah that
[00:39:04] was bullshit i don't i'm not worried about ai
[00:39:06] because even if ai gets really smart it doesn't have motivation
[00:39:09] yeah away so what were you talking about so instagram someone at instagram
[00:39:13] like released internal documents maybe it was facebook of like they knew
[00:39:16] the addictiveness of it they knew that uh that they only make money off of clicks
[00:39:22] and views there's no quality control so if you make things as upsetting as
[00:39:25] possible people can't log off and if they get angry enough they leave
[00:39:29] comments and if they leave comments they see more ads they knew all of this
[00:39:33] and they acted off of it which is you know not surprising but just to see them
[00:39:37] explicitly say this in their internal memos like
[00:39:40] oh you're as bad as the cigarette companies you're as bad as
[00:39:43] uh i i also think like junk food companies
[00:39:46] will hopefully will one day look at them as being as evil
[00:39:51] as as you know tobacco was as the global warming denying
[00:39:55] oil companies are you think they will look at the social media or the internet
[00:39:58] as a whole um social media more because you can
[00:40:03] youtube can be good yeah you can find good shit on youtube but that is
[00:40:07] social media yeah okay oh sorry what would be what would be
[00:40:12] the bad internet that's not social media i almost forgot today's episode is also
[00:40:15] brought to us by super speciosa which hopefully that's still their
[00:40:20] fucking name because they change the name in a lot super speciosa is
[00:40:26] cratum website you go to super speciosa.com
[00:40:31] where they offer lab tests since 2016 they've been perfecting
[00:40:35] certifiably reliable ways to bring your cratum as it was intended
[00:40:43] uncompromised and uh they got look if you if you've had have you
[00:40:54] not on the try well we'll say this it's not fun but it works
[00:40:58] what is it supposed to do it's like a i don't know it's somewhere like
[00:41:01] jungle drug that fucking like poachers chew but then some some fucking
[00:41:07] i'm assuming a tech guy figured out that you get imported
[00:41:10] and so now there's all these cratum companies and they they dry it out they
[00:41:13] give it to you it's like a powder it's like a dirt basically doesn't make you
[00:41:15] trip this make you energetic doesn't make you chill it's it's uh and i don't know
[00:41:20] if you're supposed to say this but and because i think they've
[00:41:23] explicitly told me not to but it it feels like uh taking a percocet and having
[00:41:27] a cup of coffee that sounds nice yeah it is nice it's
[00:41:30] mellow it's mellow um some people have said that
[00:41:33] it makes them nauseous but i kind of associate that nausea with
[00:41:38] taking painkillers so it's like a familiar i'm like oh nauseous that
[00:41:42] means this is working yeah i like when i take acid i get
[00:41:45] jittery and cold i'm like oh it's about to get fun yeah yeah
[00:41:49] so uh since 2016 they've been perfecting certifiably reliable ways to bring
[00:41:54] you cratum as it was intended i already read that part
[00:41:56] they got a yellow one that's the white man dah
[00:42:00] white man dah that sounds kind of sounds like a city in new jersey
[00:42:05] well yes yes now it's my turn to say very that's very funny
[00:42:09] instead of laughing uh yeah white white man dah
[00:42:13] but it you know it sounds like an asian guy being like white man dye
[00:42:16] oh yeah it sounds like a character that a white man dah yeah yeah right we get
[00:42:20] them in trouble now they got the red bali and they've got the green
[00:42:23] malay and so you can get all these as a powder if you're
[00:42:27] you know like uh if you're uh let's call it a more enthusiastic user
[00:42:32] you can do the move where you take fucking four giant
[00:42:36] two tablespoons and dump them in the fucking cup and swirl around they
[00:42:40] only recommend taking a much smaller amount but is it a drink
[00:42:44] yeah yeah you drink it they also come with capsules and like these little
[00:42:47] tabs that are just the powder pressed into like a
[00:42:50] smarties basically well Nick you sold me yeah
[00:42:53] I think the fucking the the capsules those uh
[00:42:59] you know those my there's a little more convenient if you don't like the
[00:43:03] taste necessarily that's the way to go now
[00:43:06] uh you get 20 percent off your first order
[00:43:09] uh i think just by clicking here but they have some special order
[00:43:13] uh by if you use promo code come town or come town 20
[00:43:18] you can figure it out you can order super speciosa
[00:43:21] and get some kind of discount i forget what it is exactly
[00:43:25] but it is good uh and this is from the american cratum association qualified
[00:43:31] vendor i've no idea what that is either oh yeah
[00:43:33] i can create an association but it meets their standards
[00:43:37] so if these were if there's a collection of people so dedicated to whatever this
[00:43:41] fucking shit is that they formed a kennel club basically
[00:43:45] and they sit around taste testing it yeah then uh
[00:43:48] then you know then you know it's uh they got high standards so
[00:43:52] what was the shit we smoked in college because weed wasn't legal
[00:43:56] i don't know i didn't go to college and smash that
[00:43:58] you didn't know yeah um what do you mean
[00:44:03] swag or k2 maybe it was k2 it's k2 it's not weed but it was legal and it was
[00:44:09] not with legal for a while i was just gonna bring
[00:44:11] Selvia yeah i was gonna bring this up when i moved to taxes
[00:44:14] it was only a thing that i had never seen it until i moved down there but
[00:44:17] i was blown away you can get an ounce of like shitty weed for like 60
[00:44:21] dollars in texas which is an i had been a thing i had never seen so maybe
[00:44:25] is that what you're talking about are you talking something it's not
[00:44:27] talking about Selvia oh okay yeah you could buy gas stations and it's highly
[00:44:30] unregulated could you buy salvia gas stations i thought it
[00:44:33] buy it's it was morally i've actually never done
[00:44:36] Selvia but i was under the impression it was like you know it was uh you take a
[00:44:39] hit and then you hold it and then you let you're gone you like lose consciousness
[00:44:43] yeah it's like way more intense than weed yeah but very short i think
[00:44:47] yeah what's the what's the one that you smoke and you get high for a minute
[00:44:50] and it's like super trippy uh dm t yeah yeah that's fun do you still
[00:44:55] do you avoid drugs now yeah all of that like like really
[00:44:59] hallucinatory or psychoactive shit like really i have no interest in doing any
[00:45:03] of that you're not gonna have fun with it no really the only since i quit
[00:45:07] drinking 10 years ago the only thing i would do is cocaine and then i kind of
[00:45:10] went off the rails last year and then um as of february i haven't done any
[00:45:16] cocaine but last last year i was doing it like
[00:45:18] fucking every other day for expensive i was just around dude i think
[00:45:23] cumulatively in 2021 i probably spent like 500
[00:45:26] dollars on cocaine that's not much yeah it's just it was just
[00:45:29] it was just fucking constantly around jesus yeah it was all over the city
[00:45:33] dudes like everyone you know it's making a comeback yeah i mean
[00:45:37] especially it seemed like when people found out there was fentanyl in it
[00:45:41] that people started doing it more yeah it's scary dude yeah it was funny
[00:45:45] because like going and i've like made this point but
[00:45:47] going into the pandemic like you know if you're like you're like
[00:45:51] i felt like look you shut the economy down take people out of work
[00:45:55] they're gonna be home like drug deaths are gonna go out and it's not my like
[00:45:59] i have to for you know like people predicted that yeah drug deaths are
[00:46:02] gonna fucking go up and you imagine drug deaths going up and you think like
[00:46:06] yeah the guy lost his job at walmart doing you know
[00:46:09] fucking heroin out in the woods he's making 500 dollars a week doing nothing
[00:46:13] yeah and then i look around like me and all of my friends are just now
[00:46:16] fucking just drug addicts yeah there's all these warnings about like oh
[00:46:19] there's fennel and the coke there's there was a comedian's
[00:46:21] i remember there was a like a member some girl like three comics out in LA they
[00:46:25] died yes like fennel and then i think i was like
[00:46:28] eating the blowfishes house yeah i think i went out and did drugs at night it's
[00:46:32] like i just don't like i didn't even think about it but
[00:46:35] i don't fuck with cocaine i have gotten more substance dependent
[00:46:39] like in the last year or two the pandemic was very weird and it's like
[00:46:43] i don't and i think a lot of the problem is that like nobody really made any
[00:46:47] kind of like good like pandemic art nobody's really done anything really
[00:46:50] addresses like on an emotional level this sort of shared trauma of the last
[00:46:56] two years and because it was this global thing that everyone was subjected to
[00:46:59] everyone no one was exempted from covid it was really horrible it's like and
[00:47:03] that's that's kind of like you know certainly in in in the scope of
[00:47:07] modernity like unparalleled there's you know there we haven't had like a global
[00:47:11] fucking plague like that you know so highly condensed regardless of like the
[00:47:18] you know like fatality rate of covid or whatever covid was
[00:47:22] this global kind of shared trauma that affected everyone's life
[00:47:26] and there's because it affects everyone there's no way to really think about
[00:47:29] like what is the impact of that on me yeah or as an individual because you
[00:47:33] know it's like a you know it's like a fish in water
[00:47:35] yeah you know what i mean yeah you don't notice i mean it
[00:47:38] it took a toll on me i think that was why part of why i started doing nicotine
[00:47:42] i started doing more acid though i don't think acid's a terrible thing
[00:47:46] um therapy became really popular yeah a lot of little things have changed
[00:47:51] that i forgot like therapy is like super popular now
[00:47:54] it's the i just went to see a therapist yeah yeah
[00:47:58] yesterday for a time yeah really i mean i hear and there i've gone i've
[00:48:02] gone to a therapist for the quote-unquote the first time like
[00:48:05] maybe two or three times in my life but i think i'm going to try and like just
[00:48:08] stick with it this time mainly because it's like i'm so busy these days that i
[00:48:12] have to like outsource my introspection i feel like i don't i really do not
[00:48:19] have the time to sit around thinking about how i feel anymore
[00:48:22] i do think happiness is based a lot around just being too distracted to
[00:48:26] analyze yourself too i think self-analysis over analysis is one thing but my my
[00:48:30] problem is that i'll like uh like uh and i think i i don't know if i
[00:48:35] said but i'll like uh you know i just did i did
[00:48:38] helium and filly and that's like that's my favorite club when i was like
[00:48:43] in my early 20s going there that was like such a such a big deal to go you know
[00:48:47] i loved it i had a great time and like now i've like gotten back into standup but
[00:48:52] now i can like sell out and i have my own audience i go to helium and filly and
[00:48:55] sell out all the shows and it's great to be back and like
[00:48:58] what and that shows were good but the exception of like i feel like you know
[00:49:02] the late show sunday i didn't i wasn't really hidden but the rest of it it was
[00:49:06] like fun and it's like you know i should be able to be like
[00:49:10] be like grateful and happy or whatever and i'm not
[00:49:13] and then your head is like well is it this am i like dissatisfied with this
[00:49:17] like what is it and the fact that i can't like pinpoint
[00:49:20] why i'm not able to enjoy this thing is like indicative of like i don't
[00:49:26] i really don't have a grasp on what i'm feeling at all
[00:49:29] and in the last like two years it's like i've just let you know just one thing
[00:49:33] after another kind of pile up in my personal life
[00:49:36] and uh i just fucking like okay you know yeah drugs or work or like i'll
[00:49:41] just you know like just consume meaty or something i've distracted myself too
[00:49:45] much and so yes there's like certainly you can
[00:49:49] spend too much time like fucking over analyzing yourself or nasal gazing
[00:49:53] to the extent that you you like exacerbate fucking depression but i
[00:49:57] really don't think that's my problem okay that's my problem i'm not busy
[00:50:00] enough and i typically seem to when i'm stressed or
[00:50:03] overworking at least i'm not like depressive and and being like well
[00:50:08] why can't you appreciate things so maybe i need to get and you got to be careful
[00:50:11] too if you do like you know creative work or whatever and you try to
[00:50:14] because i have friends that you know clearly they're depressed like my
[00:50:17] my friend like came and helped like you know like work on this stuff
[00:50:21] and i don't know if he's depressed or not but like you can tell when somebody's
[00:50:24] like stressed in their life and like you know some people turn to drugs or
[00:50:27] alcohol or some people just like bury themselves in work and that can be
[00:50:30] like even more nefarious because it's like you can tell
[00:50:34] yourself like i'm making money i'm being productive or whatever
[00:50:37] and it's like okay well yeah but you're like just not
[00:50:40] addressing your fucking mental health you're sleeping like
[00:50:43] four days a week you're causing problems and you're in a personal life
[00:50:46] because it's like well you can just say it's work it's just sort of like
[00:50:49] noble pursuit but even like doing creative work there's another
[00:50:52] poisonous aspect of it it's like if you if i'm like fucking like okay the
[00:50:56] show the adam fredland show i'm gonna put everything i can into this
[00:51:00] instead of like thinking about things and go 100 percent i can work i can work
[00:51:04] work work work work work work work and throw everything into it
[00:51:07] but the second it's done like each iteration of it or whatever
[00:51:11] and i watch it back and it's like whatever feeling of escape working on
[00:51:14] the thing gave me and i'm not seeing it it's not as funny as i want it to be
[00:51:18] it's not like it's just a thing it's just another thing
[00:51:21] then that like fucking kicks my legs out from under me even way
[00:51:26] way more than like you know if like with them where i started
[00:51:30] because then it's like oh why and you know it's like this is fake too
[00:51:33] i might as well fucking you know go get fucked up or whatever but yeah
[00:51:37] do you see these are the reasons why i do think i need to like you know i just
[00:51:42] at this point i just have to like be like talking to somebody kind of
[00:51:45] regularly well sounds like you're a toxic mix at
[00:51:47] both because my girlfriend is like you she works too hard and then she's
[00:51:51] tired and stressed and the only way to cope with that is by working even
[00:51:54] harder yeah until she just spins out and crashes
[00:51:57] yeah so i do that yeah and well she's she's a creative
[00:52:01] too she does comedy with us on her day job but like what you do is a mix of
[00:52:04] both because that's what i do is uh you know the stand-up is my primary
[00:52:08] thing and yeah you can work and work and work on stand-up and it's still not
[00:52:11] good enough like for most jobs and tasks if you put in the proper work you have
[00:52:15] a product that is complete or near complete with creative work you can
[00:52:19] put a year into something like oh this is complete dog shit
[00:52:22] i hate this yeah there's no completion well that's that's what i mean and
[00:52:26] it's all it'll always be that unless you're a shitty comic it'll always be
[00:52:29] that and then but that's why with any creative work regardless of what you do
[00:52:34] you have to be very careful like making it like this is this is going to be the
[00:52:38] thing that has to make me happy or is a distraction from these negative
[00:52:42] feelings i have because even if you do you even were
[00:52:45] happy in your personal life you're never going to be fully satisfied with your
[00:52:47] work no so you're operating in a very dangerous place
[00:52:50] if you're fucking depressed and you're like okay i'll just throw myself at my
[00:52:53] and my stand-up yeah because the stand-up's never going to be good enough never
[00:52:57] so i will be good yeah then you'll yeah like you know i mean i'll just repeat
[00:53:00] myself at this point and then you go on instagram and you see people who
[00:53:03] are way better than you'll ever be with more success and more money and then
[00:53:08] you really hate what you're doing yeah yeah that's just a terrible cycle
[00:53:12] i've never done i've never really done therapy yeah which i'm a big softy i
[00:53:15] really should i really should yeah i just i need to do something
[00:53:20] i mean it's like fucking because at a certain point it's fucking irresponsible
[00:53:23] i mean it's like you know like i have the resources i can go do like i don't
[00:53:27] want to be a fucking like burden to the people in my life or whatever because
[00:53:30] it's like my head's fucked up um what do you do to the people in your life
[00:53:35] nothing it's just you bum people out if you're
[00:53:37] yeah that's what i do i'm just i just call and complain
[00:53:39] yeah even when things are good things happen i'll still be like and i'm really
[00:53:42] annoyed about this aspect of it yeah it takes people i love to be like
[00:53:45] shut the fuck up yeah you're you're bragging
[00:53:48] yeah that's your complaint yeah yeah right exactly yeah
[00:53:52] no it's like you know you should be able to like
[00:53:55] you know like well you should i don't know maybe it's like you know like okay
[00:53:58] well you're an adult put your fucking problems aside but you know if like you
[00:54:02] if you can't do that and then it's coming out anyways and it's like you
[00:54:05] know yeah maybe i should maybe i should go find some kind of uh
[00:54:09] resolution do you wish you had a job that you could just do and not care about
[00:54:13] like i wish i had a job i wish i could be an engineer sometimes no i
[00:54:17] that's i want what i wish is that i could have some kind of
[00:54:22] consistent appreciation for what i do have which is like i i am i am
[00:54:27] grateful for but often like gratefulness is like sort of this like
[00:54:30] exercise and it doesn't like it should come naturally it's like it shouldn't
[00:54:35] you shouldn't force yourself to be like you shouldn't have to do like account
[00:54:38] your blessing sort of thing yeah i should be over the fucking moon that i'm in
[00:54:42] the position that i'm in and it's mostly the fact that i'm like not
[00:54:45] that makes me feel like well what's wrong like what the fuck is wrong that i
[00:54:49] can't you know and that's that's what i want to figure out
[00:54:52] because it's not it's not just simple like you know the necessary
[00:54:56] dissatisfaction you have with your work to continue to make you continue working
[00:54:59] it's not that it's like there's there's just uh it's just
[00:55:03] yeah like other there's something else or something else that that that you know
[00:55:08] it just makes it like you know like why like why am i still
[00:55:13] why are there still days where i'm like yeah i should just kill myself you know
[00:55:17] what i mean yeah it shouldn't be like that yeah and and there's that i
[00:55:21] the more success i like i look at success i'm like am i less happy the more
[00:55:25] successful i am yeah this is a really alarming thing i don't think there's
[00:55:28] any relationship for me i mean it's like it's i think it's just
[00:55:32] you know there's like there's other you you're always going to just be a person
[00:55:35] yeah and you're going to have natural cycles of disagiment
[00:55:39] yes sure but your own like you know personal life and stuff you know it's
[00:55:42] like i don't think i don't think i would be any
[00:55:45] happier if i had a quote-unquote like just job i could go to
[00:55:49] it would probably be way worse you know yeah yeah i wonder what that would look
[00:55:52] like i got i got in the comedy so young that i don't i don't know how that
[00:55:55] would feel i got in a comedy young too but i mean it didn't work out for a very
[00:55:59] long fucking time yeah yeah i mean i'd stand up was never the thing for me
[00:56:02] you know i mean it's like i was it's like i'm very passionate about it but
[00:56:07] either i lack like charisma or whatever i mean i could i could write jokes but
[00:56:11] there was just something that didn't uh i wasn't i don't have whatever
[00:56:15] thing makes you uh you know able to be like just a stand up and then i got
[00:56:20] here and i started and work writing and stuff and then eventually you know the
[00:56:23] podcast and yeah we worked together on a show you were writing
[00:56:27] did we comedy knockout oh yeah yeah you're writing for that for a little while
[00:56:30] yeah i don't know i feel like you were making more money off your podcast and
[00:56:33] off that job oh yeah that was just that was actually a very
[00:56:35] fun job yeah take me today yeah that job was i mean it was so
[00:56:39] low stakes and i didn't i didn't i'd like i actually contributed
[00:56:44] almost in the fucking nothing yeah i would just show up and hang out
[00:56:47] and then you would prep comics so then i would go down like half the people in
[00:56:51] the writers room i don't think were comics so it's like those of us that
[00:56:54] were that's so weird to write jokes and not do stand up to me because like i
[00:56:58] would not know how to write jokes if i were not on stage testing everything
[00:57:02] to see if it was yeah it's weird because like i've met several
[00:57:05] comedians that have this like mindset that like oh comics they're
[00:57:08] better writers and then you get in a writers room with people that are
[00:57:11] like arges those like uh machines well they like the ivy league comedy
[00:57:16] writer guys o lampoon dudes yeah maybe not necessarily a lampoon but
[00:57:20] definitely the ivy league guys that want to be comedy writers
[00:57:23] and they're very normal people and then you see the work they produce and you're
[00:57:28] like oh that this is why you're here like they're just
[00:57:31] they're just better at it i mean to the the absurdity of like you know
[00:57:36] thinking like well i'm a very good comedy writer i could be a good stand up
[00:57:39] this in the way that's not true it's often not true that just because
[00:57:43] somebody's a good stand up they know how to go right for a fucking tv show
[00:57:46] i wrote for one show and i was like i i wrote for the ros of alic ball when i
[00:57:49] didn't get a single joke on yeah i had some i was proud of it it was
[00:57:52] it was a awful process you were a writer a staff writer on the show or you
[00:57:56] wrote for one of the people on i wrote for the show staff writer for the
[00:57:58] show one week of whatever guild work yeah um we just sat in the room
[00:58:04] just typing silently we didn't work together really they would just say
[00:58:07] write jokes all day about whoever either 16 people yeah or whatever
[00:58:11] you know commentatorically this joke this person joke about this person by
[00:58:14] this person this person yeah they didn't give us much assignments at first and
[00:58:16] every day at 10 a.m we would just read through all of the jokes we had all
[00:58:20] submitted allowed and see what got a laugh and it was not a very fun process
[00:58:24] yeah i when i i worked on mocha's show and like they
[00:58:27] i was there with uh they they i remember they like would assign me
[00:58:31] they would have me and then jess duac go right like a monologue
[00:58:35] and then i would go like you know we go off separately
[00:58:37] and i would just like write something so it would look like i did something for
[00:58:40] an hour right i'm like i don't know type words i'm like i literally have no
[00:58:43] idea how i got this job like i don't i don't know how to just sit here and
[00:58:47] write dude how the fuck i know i can bounce with someone here's
[00:58:51] thing i could sit around and be funny yeah i haven't done in the last hour but
[00:58:54] i've i can i can do that you know but like to sit down and then
[00:58:58] jess would come back who's like the polar opposite where she just
[00:59:02] she's just very talented extremely fucking good writer she seems
[00:59:08] just stand up i don't know if she does stand up she just she just seems like
[00:59:12] just just off just completely you know like it's like
[00:59:17] like are you enjoying any moment of oh just mechanical
[00:59:21] militaristic yeah kind of but then you know you'd see her i i mean she's just
[00:59:25] very fucking tight like you know they're just jokes like so
[00:59:29] we've turned it in and it would almost be like you know in like the simpsons
[00:59:33] with the fucking like uh lisa's friend who's like
[00:59:37] dad is rich and like she's like really smart and they're like okay
[00:59:41] uh michael time to play the anagram game the the fucking the at the
[00:59:46] the alloganist jokes genuine class genuine class and then jeremy irons
[00:59:50] yeah jeremy that's how it felt she's turning in genuine class and i'm
[00:59:54] struggling to relay a simpsons joke that i've seen a billion times yeah
[00:59:58] you know yeah it's writing jokes is like writing
[01:00:02] jokes just for the sake of writing jokes is like the most miserable you just
[01:00:05] hate your you instantly start hating yourself you're like
[01:00:07] let's just try to think something funny and you're this voice in your head just
[01:00:10] like you suck yeah the world's not fun you got a hard out at nine so i want to
[01:00:14] thank you for being here thank you apologize to the the fans of the show
[01:00:18] that had the sitter just my meandering uh
[01:00:22] talk about mental problems in west virginia but uh mathy bursard you saved the
[01:00:29] show thanks for coming hey thanks for having me thanks for 500 dollars you
[01:00:32] got anything you want to plug uh i'm gonna be in texas san Antonio
[01:00:35] austin and dallas in october tickets at bursard.live very good i will be an
[01:00:38] indianapolis this friday and saturday at helium indy
[01:00:42] by those tickets next week i'm at zaines nashville
[01:00:45] and then i think after that the improv in houston
[01:00:49] um and as always if you want to check it out adam worked very hard on it
[01:00:58] and produced a very special episode of the adam fredlin show that you can check
[01:01:02] out that he did this weekend on patreon.com slash
[01:01:06] tafs for the adam fredlin shows patreon.com