TAFS | Regular | 09/22/2022
[00:00:20] It's the motherfucking Adam Friedland show.
[00:01:16] I know I've been a good uncle to you so far, but if you bring even the fat ones, you bring them around to me.
[00:01:29] Yeah, how are you doing? My name is Cleetus and I recently found out I have borderline personality disorder.
[00:01:37] My name is Cleetus. I do art. I went to SVA and I got borderline personality disorder.
[00:01:48] If you break up with me, I'm going to cut myself.
[00:01:52] It's going to be your fault and the police are going to see them all right.
[00:01:58] You're listening to the Southern BP D podcast.
[00:02:07] That's a good character, dude. A redneck art ho.
[00:02:20] I can't tell you a single thing they've ever said on the show.
[00:02:33] When I walk down the street, my knees, they collide and it sounds like empty coconuts falling down the stairs.
[00:02:42] At least every gay man and every other emaciated woman in a five mile radius.
[00:02:49] They hear the noise and they say, listen to how beautiful that woman's knees are.
[00:02:56] I'm fucking on the Dallas bars club of BP D art hose.
[00:02:59] Matthew McConaughey showing up to a car.
[00:03:03] I got this via intravenous means not from gay sex.
[00:03:21] I'm not a fucking, I ain't a fucking freak.
[00:03:29] You just hear Anna being like, yeah, well, actually the Uighurs deserve to be murdered.
[00:03:35] Yeah, actually the Uighurs deserve to be murdered.
[00:03:39] Actually the Uighurs, as a mother, I realize now that the Chinese basically have a maternal instinct to murder the Uighurs.
[00:03:51] That's the way in which they want to murder them.
[00:03:55] And then fucking Jared Leto is the juridact.
[00:03:58] I'm like, ooh, are you listening to red chairs?
[00:04:01] I get the fuck out of my room, you fucking queer.
[00:04:08] I've lost weight because I got borderline personality disorder from the rodeo.
[00:04:11] A fucking bull kicked me in the head so far that I could myself when women break up in me.
[00:04:16] I don't have fucking I'm not fucking gay.
[00:04:29] And the next scene, they're just in bed together listening to red scare.
[00:04:33] Hey, Dasha and Anna are kind of idiots, huh?
[00:04:37] I don't think they know what the fuck they're talking about.
[00:04:39] But I still like listening to him anyways.
[00:04:44] You got BPD too and that's why you're anorexic?
[00:04:50] I got it from being a rent boy on the street.
[00:04:59] I feel like I'm hanging out with Andy Warhol and his friends.
[00:05:05] When I'm, I used to be disgusted when I met somebody with AIDS.
[00:05:08] And now I'm like, where did you get that?
[00:05:14] You got to go on D-pop now to find AIDS.
[00:05:20] They're putting prep in the white cloth.
[00:05:24] Down here in Texas, they got prep in the white cloths.
[00:05:27] I don't even know how you, how you would get that.
[00:05:30] I'm just trying to have a BPD girl summer.
[00:05:38] I'm a BPD art ho from Shreveport and I'm the only fucking one, dude.
[00:05:42] I'm going to talk about a lonely existence.
[00:05:44] I go down to, we got a, we don't even have a coffee shop.
[00:05:48] I hang out next to the fucking, go to the gas station.
[00:05:50] I go to the gas station and hang out next to the coffee machine.
[00:05:55] That's the, that's the liberal bastion of Shreveport.
[00:06:02] They're like, what's your fucking problem, Queer?
[00:06:04] It's like for the last time I'm not Queer.
[00:06:06] I have borderline personality disorder.
[00:06:41] They were saying Kyle Rittenhouse is the ideal male.
[00:06:55] I'm actually, we have big guests today.
[00:07:03] Sorry, I was responding to a friend about us.
[00:07:07] A friend about a wiring question I had.
[00:07:11] Yeah, so guys, we're at the Global Corporate HQ right now.
[00:07:22] They just got a five minute classic riff.
[00:07:26] I really try to let you go run with the ball on that one.
[00:07:35] Right before I go to Nashville, Tennessee to perform at Zaines Comedy Club, where I'll be
[00:07:40] this Friday and Saturday, there are still tickets available to every show.
[00:07:47] Please send your friends out and tell people who will fucking come or whatever.
[00:07:54] And then let's get this tour over with.
[00:07:58] And then we can really make movie magic.
[00:08:02] Yeah, and guys, I did wake up sick this morning and yesterday morning, but I will be all
[00:08:09] I think there are a few tickets left to the Crocodile in Seattle and Mississippi Studios
[00:08:14] on Friday at the Crocodile in Seattle, Saturday, Portland, Oregon, Mississippi Studios.
[00:08:22] I think there are some tickets available to the late show on that, guys.
[00:08:30] Me and Raylene, we started, we are out of a motel room.
[00:08:33] We started a place where other southern BPD art hose can listen to our red scare patreon
[00:08:39] So we all pool our money together to afford the $5 a month to buzz.
[00:08:49] Yeah, baby formula with a nuclear fallout in it.
[00:08:55] I'm raising my child on nothing but fishes, pussy juice.
[00:09:00] Who funded the Institute for BPD Southern Art Hose?
[00:09:06] Was it a certain tech oligarch, perhaps?
[00:09:22] What's the other one that they say funds all that stuff for nefarious purposes?
[00:09:40] Ooh, you better not bring him around Peter Thiel, your man.
[00:09:57] I don't understand what they say that guy is funding all these projects to undermine the
[00:10:16] Even a guest on the Chapel Traphouse broadcast.
[00:10:18] I'm trying to take down Donald Trump and I'm going to get Eugene Carroll on the case.
[00:10:27] Eugene Carroll here for Werther's Originals.
[00:10:30] There's nothing I love more after being raped by the president than sucking on a nice piece
[00:10:39] I've produced this commercial entirely on spec and I've sent it to the Werther's original
[00:10:45] company in the hopes that they'll give me $32 billion, which I need to build a rocket ship
[00:10:52] so I can fly to the moon and then I don't know.
[00:11:00] Have funded by Peter Steele, your girl.
[00:11:05] Yeah, the thing next to 30 seconds ago.
[00:11:09] I thought it was going to be, I'm going to actually run out of steam in the next 10 minutes.
[00:11:14] I'm going to come in hot and then I've been...
[00:11:23] I guess I got to keep some in the tank for that.
[00:11:25] We'll keep something in the tank for that.
[00:11:27] Now I got a local source for all this speed rail.
[00:11:34] This place is going to be so fucking sick.
[00:11:36] I know we did that on the premium episode.
[00:11:39] By the way folks, if you're listening to this, you want to support the show, go to patreon.com
[00:11:44] It's only $5 a month and you get all the additional content for $15 a month.
[00:11:50] You get your name in the credits and for $25 a month, you get your name in the credits
[00:11:54] in an even bigger font as an executive producer or a regular producer, I forget, whatever
[00:12:03] And then there's also supplementary stuff.
[00:12:08] Anybody who had a book giveaway, would somebody want it and I got to mail that out?
[00:12:14] I don't forget it was something in the Rock Indian or something.
[00:12:19] Which I'm pretty sure is just a white guy doing a racist character.
[00:12:25] I don't know where he came up with that idea.
[00:12:28] You know like an Indian guy going to Blockbuster and he picks up taxi driver and he's like
[00:12:32] 30 minutes into it and he's like, what the fuck is this?
[00:12:40] That'd be a fun thing to be like an Indian comedian being like, y'all, they got a lot
[00:12:45] Guess who they put in it for motherfucking white man.
[00:12:48] There's one part I liked which is he found a baby chair and he wanted to protect the
[00:12:57] That's the best part of Joker is when you find out that he's just stalking this woman.
[00:13:12] Matt Crispin was laughing too loud for me to appreciate it.
[00:13:14] Yeah, they were like, what the hell he on a mat?
[00:13:20] That must have been a weird experience for them.
[00:13:24] To see that but then have that guy turn around and you see Matt Crispin, you have no idea,
[00:13:33] They must have felt like they had gone into the South in the 1950s.
[00:13:43] It would have been great if at some point she was like, excuse me, we're trying to enjoy
[00:14:07] Just a girl's trip and then the trailer ends and it's a graded hour.
[00:14:19] So, folks, I hope I don't have coronavirus.
[00:14:31] If you gave me Corona, if I got Corona again from you.
[00:14:34] You can't complain about Corona if you don't believe.
[00:14:41] Well, if you don't believe in God and you're like mad about the Catholic Church, pedophiling
[00:14:46] children, yeah, but then you don't think that the Catholic Church actually knows that God
[00:14:52] Well, obviously God exists because they keep getting away with it.
[00:14:58] What God has to be like, I'm out of ways to prove that I'm real.
[00:15:02] Let me just let all of my guys violently rape children with zero consequences.
[00:15:06] And that has to prove that there's got to be somebody that's like, well, okay, you got
[00:15:15] That really proves it because really no one else can get away with it.
[00:15:17] Yeah, I think that's what Thomas Aquinas was writing about.
[00:15:28] We're having a slow day here at the office.
[00:15:36] Then we're going to get the lights next.
[00:15:44] Yeah, floors got to be cleaned and polished, waxed.
[00:15:47] Are we going to have a cleaning crew come through?
[00:15:51] You got them coming through this weekend or no?
[00:15:53] Yeah, next week, before they drop the stage off, it's sick.
[00:16:01] Well, my friend wanted to go do a pre-light, just
[00:16:07] ran a bunch of shit and then see how it looks.
[00:16:09] And I think, no, we just go spend the money.
[00:16:17] What's the pre-light, whether you rent the lights
[00:16:19] and you bring everything in and you light it to see how it looks.
[00:16:23] And then once you know how, and that's your equipment list,
[00:16:26] That sounds like a responsible way of doing it.
[00:16:30] Brother, my middle name is irresponsible.
[00:16:33] It sounds like you want to get the stuff that they made.
[00:16:38] The Batman begins with, you want to light up Gotham City?
[00:16:42] Well, I kind of want to put a bunch of expensive big lights
[00:16:48] And then some people can see that we got lights.
[00:16:56] we'll have just some sort of dolly shot or something.
[00:16:59] That way when people are like, get lights.
[00:17:10] Looks like I'm going to be going back to stealing the show.
[00:17:17] Yeah, I'm going back to stealing the show.
[00:17:33] We should also get a boat in here, I think, too.
[00:17:37] Like part of it should be like on the stage?
[00:17:43] we should have like so sometimes we have like a yacht,
[00:17:54] And then we can do scenes where we have a lot of friends.
[00:18:00] Yeah, we could do the Jack holding rose.
[00:18:09] Mate in the Adam Friedland show has been the greatest journey
[00:18:21] I've done Australian so many times pretending to do British.
[00:18:28] We better get the show started before we lose.
[00:18:31] We lose your powerful skill with impersonation.
[00:18:42] Fuck guys, I'm sorry I'm so slow today.
[00:18:47] And I really hope I don't have to cancel these shows.
[00:18:52] And if I have the coronavirus, I will not
[00:19:01] No, what I was going to say is, since we're going to have
[00:19:04] to, the next step is staffing up right after we have this whole
[00:19:11] I think a good idea for us would be to hire those Venezuelan
[00:19:29] They're like, I just got a full of vineyard vines out.
[00:19:44] my beamed your vines to be in your house.
[00:19:51] I love watching the past game this weekend.
[00:19:54] The pants, the pants, which you can bet on the pants game.
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[00:20:26] You got basketball season around the corner.
[00:20:32] with a World Cup coming up in the winter.
[00:20:37] They used slaves to build the stadiums this time.
[00:20:44] Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers, Smack Jones or Lamar Jackson.
[00:20:49] It's a show of young guns in the old guard,
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[00:21:14] Suddenly, I've been hit with a wave of nausea,
[00:21:22] I fucking whore, girlfriend got me sick.
[00:21:26] Then I go home by myself, and I'm just sick on my fucking couch
[00:21:33] And you won't have to go to fucking Nashville.
[00:21:36] When's the last time you went to Nashville?
[00:21:44] I'm like, I just keep getting fucking sick.
[00:21:45] What the fuck is going on with our lives?
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[00:22:39] Jeff Goldblum here for Macintosh computers.
[00:22:51] Dude, when's the last time you went to Nashville?
[00:22:59] It's like it's become like New Orleans for just for country music.
[00:23:10] That's where you go if you want to just walk around with that
[00:23:12] and choose playing guitar all the time, right?
[00:23:15] No, you go there if you want to take the fattest women
[00:23:18] you know for your bridal party or your fucking wedding.
[00:23:28] Your snatch, snatch, snatch, alert party.
[00:23:33] and we saw some of the biggest, the absolute biggest monsters.
[00:23:42] And they drive them around in these tractors.
[00:23:45] They just drag them around on tractors.
[00:23:47] You know, and you can bet on the tractor
[00:23:49] that that bitch tractor races at my bookie.ag.
[00:23:53] We got to stay on my bookie for a little bit.
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[00:26:31] You go bet on the ponies at the racetrack.
[00:26:47] I'm going to work out, and then I'm going to go.
[00:26:58] Now I'm just so bad at it because I do it all the time.
[00:27:01] I just take people out to dinner, and then I'm like, yeah,
[00:27:07] Yeah, and then I go, all right, well, there's
[00:27:13] I like to ask them if they're wearing a wire.
[00:27:22] I think I just do it to try and strike some work-life balance.
[00:27:27] Because just meeting different women you don't like.
[00:27:31] Yeah, and then I go to dinner, and then I go home with your piss.
[00:27:42] I did the thing you're supposed to accomplish, right?
[00:27:44] No, it doesn't feel like an accomplishment.
[00:27:45] I just did something other than focus on my gas, little projects.
[00:27:53] Yeah, I got a couple of little gas projects.
[00:27:58] Yeah, I got a couple of gas little projects.
[00:28:04] Have you ever had a gas project you're working on?
[00:28:41] after a man ran over his own son drinking the other day.
[00:28:46] Try to do that after a couple of Miller Highlives.
[00:28:51] Michelob Altra, the beer for getting fucked up
[00:28:58] OK, so it looks like we're in the middle of an inflation
[00:29:07] And the Fed is getting even tougher on inflation.
[00:29:09] They're getting even tougher on inflation.
[00:29:11] So recently today, we had the chairman of the federal
[00:29:27] Chairman of the federal reserve, Jerome Powell, spoke.
[00:29:32] And he said that there are no indications
[00:29:36] of lowering interest rates until the very least 2024.
[00:29:41] Looks like we're going to be raising this motherfucker
[00:29:46] So I thought we'd have an exclusive interview with Mr.
[00:29:55] So I guess I'll leave and you can introduce.
[00:30:16] When people say handle your bitch, control your bitch.
[00:30:28] So, yeah, as federal reserve chair, Jerome Powell,
[00:30:36] So you said you got Jerome Powell for the show.
[00:30:50] So you looked up Jerome Powell in the white pages.
[00:31:15] We're trying to make a television show.
[00:31:21] And I said, you are the chairman of the Federal Reserve.
[00:31:25] What you said was, is this Jerome Powell?
[00:31:28] I'm one of maybe 9,000 people named Jerome Powell.
[00:31:32] There's only one of them that's a white guy.
[00:31:35] And that's the chairman of the Federal Reserve.
[00:31:37] And I'm one of the other Jerome Powell.
[00:31:39] I'm what you would expect when you're here as a name.
[00:31:54] So I'm pretty sure I did ask you if you were chairman of the Federal Reserve, Jerome Powell.
[00:32:01] You sent me a picture of your girlfriend and said I could titty fucker.
[00:32:07] I looked up you and found the picture and decided that that was going to be the exchange.
[00:32:13] Okay, so we both made some assumptions.
[00:32:28] So I guess Jerome, I guess you're the wrong Jerome Powell.
[00:32:32] What do you want to talk about inflation?
[00:32:34] So we got to get inflation behind us clearly.
[00:32:39] And you know what we also need to get behind something else is me behind your big titty
[00:33:06] Okay, so we got to find a painless way to do it.
[00:33:11] But it doesn't seem like there is a painless way to poppers.
[00:33:22] So you told a press conference in Washington on Wednesday after the officials lifted the
[00:33:27] target for the benchmark federal funds range from three to 3.25%.
[00:33:35] You all need to stop talking about the federal reserve and start talking about the federal
[00:33:42] And if the answer is nothing except what you're putting in.
[00:33:47] So you're complaining about, oh, the we made the insurance rates bad?
[00:33:59] You don't even pick up the phone when your son calls.
[00:34:08] So you're mad about, hold on, inflation?
[00:34:16] I'm teaching chess to retards at the park.
[00:34:21] I've never learned how to play the game, but I go so fast.
[00:34:27] So, um, so the S&P 500 Sock Index and the S&P 500 Sock Index, and the S&P 500 S&P 500 S&P
[00:34:48] How does that famous R&B group S&P 500?
[00:34:51] Um, because it's how long the racetrack is.
[00:35:34] Guys, before you get fucking mad at me,
[00:35:38] that's not a very centered left thing to say.
[00:36:04] who's an economist at L.H. Meyer in Washington,
[00:36:07] said, this is Paul's last roll that dies.
[00:36:13] And the higher unemployment forecasts are a fair warning.
[00:36:16] They should just raise the rate of 15% now.
[00:36:23] Once all the poor people, their retirements are wrecked
[00:36:28] Then we can come in and the people whose job it is to make money.
[00:36:43] The people who actually like the economy.
[00:36:47] Why is it that when the economy gets bad?
[00:36:50] Suddenly, all of these Johnny come latelies
[00:36:52] that have no positions that aren't playing the game.
[00:36:55] That haven't been the ones driving up prices to begin with.
[00:37:05] Your job is to eat the slop that's produced by me
[00:37:13] we go to the cigar lounge and we laugh.
[00:37:17] These peasants that don't understand positions.
[00:37:25] And they're just some Johnny come latelies.
[00:37:32] Puffy before Puffy, the genius of Herbie Lovebug Azur.
[00:37:38] Sometimes I worry that this show has to be terrible because we'll just laugh.
[00:37:52] Puffy before Puffy, the genius of Herbie Lovebug.
[00:37:57] What I was looking at about the Chinese and mice.
[00:37:59] Alex sent that video of the fucking Demise fight or the rats fighting in the show.
[00:38:12] Yeah, but it syncs up perfectly with this Kung Fu movie.
[00:38:30] How many other mice are there in that suit?
[00:38:34] And that's why I look how long the tails are.
[00:38:46] The soup looks disgusting even without the rats.
[00:38:49] We're not even the addition of the rats.
[00:38:52] What's going on in the Chinese mind that you're eating that?
[00:38:55] You're like, this is missing something.
[00:39:03] That's the missing ingredient in this fucking thing.
[00:39:10] The disgusting moment captured in which Chinese man dips.
[00:39:14] It's like, first of all, how did the news even get that video?
[00:39:17] You know, that's like some Chinese home movie.
[00:39:19] Like, imagine like we live in the country.
[00:39:24] But for years, our culture has been neglected.
[00:39:27] And it's like your girlfriend just takes a video of you like fucking having chicken nuggets.
[00:39:32] And then the biggest tabloid in China is like disgusting moment.
[00:39:37] The hideous Jewish man enjoys processed chicken snack.
[00:39:44] Watch as this fucking pig eats disgusting food.
[00:39:53] All right, we got another writer's packet, Nick.
[00:39:58] And then we're going to go through Phil's writing packet.
[00:40:22] Oh, I thought you were about to say something.
[00:40:46] All right folks, Diet smoke has delta H, delta H and delta 9 THC gummies.
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[00:41:01] at Koka is Japanese, Japan's bicameral parliament
[00:41:10] In an upper house, the House of Counselors.
[00:41:16] And elected under parallel voting systems.
[00:41:29] You're being like, you're fucking, I didn't do that.
[00:41:45] How about besmirchin' dice in its shirts
[00:41:47] that are like, yeah, your wife said, dumb bitch.
[00:42:00] Anyway, guys, most people are familiar with Delta 9 THC
[00:42:08] other cannabinoids are seeing more fame and curiosity.
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[00:42:16] The top lists of FAQs everyone seems to have.
[00:42:19] Did you step in dog shit or something or did I?
[00:42:33] Yeah, you got dog shit all over your shirt.
[00:42:36] Anyways, were we talking about dog shit, was it?
[00:42:40] Yeah, so basically, people have been smoking dog shit for years.
[00:42:44] Hey, did you hear they got diet dog shit now?
[00:42:48] Excuse me, do you have any low calorie mice?
[00:42:53] I was wondering if you got any diet rats.
[00:43:04] Is this some Chinese guy riding up on a fixie?
[00:43:06] And he's like looking at a menu at a place,
[00:43:27] and you're saying, don't you need a personality
[00:43:30] before you can have borderline personality disorder?
[00:43:35] Yeah, it's weird, all these Brooklyn women
[00:43:39] Which you would think someone would need a personality first
[00:43:44] Yeah, take that, you fucking dumb sluts.
[00:43:48] Take that, if you're living off the fucking J-Train.
[00:43:50] Oh my god, if you're living off the J-Train.
[00:44:01] Like a girl that's like now just in her mid-30s
[00:44:05] and is like, do I just keep fucking people, I guess?
[00:44:12] Do I just keep, I can't get any more tattoos.
[00:44:15] The only way I can get more tattoos is if I get fatter,
[00:44:19] So I'll get fatter and I guess I keep fucking people.
[00:44:26] if people break up as me, they're just gonna be like,
[00:44:30] Yeah, maybe actually that would be a good idea for you.
[00:44:36] And I guess the girl version of this is only fans.
[00:44:40] I mean, the male version of this is also pretty bad,
[00:44:44] Yeah, I'm saying if she wants to make money
[00:44:48] Can you imagine if I was doing shit like this,
[00:44:51] still trying to get stuff off the ground?
[00:44:56] I don't know how, I mean, I don't have any self-respect
[00:45:05] trying to do the Adam Friedland show, like the people.
[00:45:11] would you, I would feel like I would have maintained
[00:45:13] even now, even though the show is, you know,
[00:45:17] When people are like, what are you up to?
[00:45:24] I would just say we're building a studio.
[00:45:28] And people don't even know what that means,
[00:45:29] but they're like, oh, okay, that sounds like something.
[00:45:31] Yeah, I feel like the only kind of guy I respect now
[00:45:33] is a guy that's like, yeah, I don't have a job.
[00:45:44] Nothing, I fucking, I live off the state.
[00:45:51] The only people I really respect now are just
[00:45:53] drunks and drug addicts who aspire to do nothing.
[00:45:56] Like, if you have come full circle now,
[00:45:59] if you're a guy that just, you go see the Marvel movies,
[00:46:02] you just don't know what the fuck else to do.
[00:46:07] like seasonal menu items at fast food restaurants.
[00:46:12] Like, if you're one of the guys that do a Wegmans
[00:46:18] And that's the only news you have in your head.
[00:46:32] but it is usually produced from other cannabinoids
[00:46:35] by humans rather than directly extracted.
[00:46:41] You have Delta Ate, you have Delta Nine.
[00:46:46] They have both these things at dietsmoke.com.
[00:46:50] You can order them depending on where you live.
[00:47:09] And they got some great flavors, folks.
[00:47:16] some blue shit, blue raspberry, watermelon,
[00:47:20] all the fucking Koolata flavors that the heart desires.
[00:47:30] It's 100% legal, I think, made from American-grown hemp plants,
[00:47:36] third party lab tested for potency and safety.
[00:47:40] You get 30 gummies per jar, 10 milligrams each.
[00:47:49] So if you go to their website and you click shop now,
[00:47:52] you're putting promo code comtown or comtown20,
[00:48:06] What the fuck else are you gonna do with your life?
[00:48:11] What are you going to do with your fucking life?
[00:48:14] What are you just gonna watch a fucking fantastic beast?
[00:48:17] And you're gonna eat one of these fantastic beasts.
[00:48:25] Let's bounce some of those bitches down Nashville, Tennessee.
[00:48:37] A word of fine, and my guys had this wedding.
[00:48:39] Yeah, that's where you gotta see that movie.
[00:48:47] You're gonna see some fantastic beasts.
[00:48:53] More like looking at the bride, I'd say,
[00:49:01] You gotta see these absolute fucking...
[00:49:05] They got those things too, like dijjmunk.com, promo code,
[00:49:12] They got those things where it's like a mural on a wall
[00:49:18] And then you'll just see a line of like 40 women,
[00:49:22] just with like bachelor red party sashes,
[00:49:29] lined up to take a picture in front of the mural
[00:49:32] with big wings, so they can get a picture of that.
[00:49:57] The Hard Rock Cafe in Nashville, Tennessee.
[00:50:01] there's like a fucking, what's it called?
[00:50:03] It's like a Christmas theme, it's like a double wide trailer.
[00:50:06] It's this old redneck who's got a long ass white beard.
[00:50:10] And he's like, I guess people call him saying.
[00:50:12] It's a Christmas scene bar in Austin also.
[00:50:16] I think it's just, it's not his barely even Christmas themed.
[00:50:22] Yeah, it's like there's karaoke going on.
[00:50:28] and some of the, some of the local national comics
[00:50:48] You know, people are sending me a picture
[00:50:54] Yeah, that's what, that's what La La looks like.
[00:50:57] Do you wanna go through this fucking line?
[00:51:16] Well, I want, you know, I want to be like mentally disabled,
[00:51:25] you know, and they have like a, like a,
[00:51:29] that they make fun of on British television.
[00:51:35] It's to be a guy, they bring him on the line.
[00:51:40] you're saying you went to a shoe store.
[00:51:45] you could thought you could buy one shoe.
[00:51:54] And they tell me it's for both of them.
[00:52:01] And it says, because I'm only want to pay
[00:52:14] And, and, okay, maybe a different scenario.
[00:52:18] Different scenario for, for an idiot to be.
[00:52:28] You're saying these are scenarios for a British.
[00:52:48] Have you seen what it looks like in here?
[00:52:54] Did you go shopping for me, for my cold?
[00:53:00] You got them cold medicine that comes in a gift bag?
[00:53:12] I guess it's cause I'm an unlikable kind of a piece of shit.
[00:53:17] I don't want, I don't want any fucking pity.
[00:53:30] That's what actually permanently damaged my vision.
[00:53:40] All right, so we're talking about British simple Tim.
[00:53:49] They said, you know, they cost 117 pounds.
[00:54:00] And I said, and what's it cost at night?
[00:54:07] So you're being like a Carl Pilkington?
[00:54:38] Yeah, I went to I was on a plane and I was starting to go
[00:54:44] They might just, you know, put a seat belt on.
[00:54:46] And he said, you know, what the hell are these for?
[00:54:51] And I said, you know, in case the airplane gets into a car
[00:54:54] accident, and he said, well, then you'd be dead, you know,
[00:54:59] the plane, you mean if the plane crashed?
[00:55:00] And I said, yeah, but you know, I forget.
[00:55:03] So do a car accident because some of the time the plane is
[00:55:15] And he said, Oh, you want to dose British.
[00:55:17] You want to see the other British guys.
[00:55:29] I wanted to buy a chair and they had this chair.
[00:55:39] I said, wouldn't that be a better name for the wheelchairs?
[00:55:43] And they said, no, because those people, they can't walk
[00:55:47] And I said, I've offended again, have I not?
[00:55:52] And now you're going to now the fucking the political correctness.
[00:55:57] You got to mix your own paint when you get home from the store.
[00:56:03] They mix it in the store, but you got to mix it again.
[00:56:06] I don't know how they can't figure out how to make the paint mix,
[00:56:12] You can go to the what do they call it there?
[00:56:16] You can go to the pineapple and then eat out on the corner.
[00:56:20] And also you they got peanut butter and jelly in the same can now.
[00:56:25] I'll just I painted my house and peanut butter and jelly.
[00:56:46] You have a nice, some of the plugs, they got two of the eyes and some of them got three.
[00:56:54] And I said, but it's all the way up on the wall.
[00:56:58] They're like, it's a different kind of.
[00:57:04] I was like, what do you mean, the ground for electricity?
[00:57:07] And then they tried to explain it to me and I got a nose bleeding.
[00:57:13] It's where we use stuff all the time and we don't know how it works.
[00:57:16] You know, like the alarm clock, how's it know to go off at six a.m.
[00:57:28] I guess, yeah, that's how I would know.
[00:57:31] But how does the alarm part know it's six a.m.
[00:57:36] But the clock is the clock does the clock.
[00:57:39] The clock tells the time and working together.
[00:57:41] And they don't know on this, the bells on the top.
[00:57:55] It's because they want to look like ears.
[00:57:57] No, it was the bells that they're knocking together.
[00:58:01] I figured they could save a lot of money if there was only one of them.
[00:58:06] Then it'd be like you're getting woken up like a hotel desk.
[00:58:10] I mean, I'll take this, but I'm not paying for the extra bell.
[00:58:23] What the hell's that guy doing in the back?
[00:58:27] What a bloody hell is he doing in the back there?
[00:58:30] Well, every other job, you got to be at the counter.
[00:58:33] But if a hotel, you're allowed to fuck off.
[00:58:37] You're allowed to fuck off to the back.
[00:58:40] And then some guy with the world's most pussy bell in the world.
[00:58:53] I got my note pad out that I do math on when I get into arguments.
[00:58:57] And I wrote, I wrote, I'll tell you what, mate,
[00:59:02] Why don't you ring the bell when you're ready for me?
[00:59:06] I ended up sleeping in my car in the parking lot for three and a half days.
[00:59:10] Saved myself three nights at a hotel stay.
[00:59:18] I don't think it would be that much for three nights.
[00:59:21] 48, 48 and a half, 48 and a half, 48 and a half million quid.
[00:59:30] I saw all the places where they filmed fast in a few years.
[00:59:38] And they said, you know, you can't tell.
[00:59:41] You're killing little purlas and women under words.
[00:59:50] And some guy came up and he said, you know, you're not allowed to take pictures here.
[00:59:58] It was all, you know, I was like, I'm going to go to the camera.
[01:00:01] And it was all, you know, it's a pretend camera for Mongoloids.
[01:00:12] Yeah, it's made out of this filled with candy.
[01:00:16] I wish I could do at least one of these, actually, for me.
[01:00:22] No, I think the car accident with the plane was good.
[01:00:25] What sort of things like a British idiot would say?
[01:00:35] I was on the plane and they told me, I need to put my seat back forward.
[01:00:51] They tell you to put your seat belt on.
[01:00:53] And, you know, sometimes I don't do it.
[01:00:57] And they just, they kind of just drop it.
[01:01:01] They don't really give you a hard time.
[01:01:05] You give me this to when they tell you to.
[01:01:11] But I kind of like being securely in the chair.
[01:01:14] But that's only because I'm a conformist.
[01:01:17] They say put your phone on airplane mode.
[01:01:26] I said, I need to know my phone had a radio.
[01:01:29] This whole time I could have been listening to how it's Mickey and, Mickey and Amelia.
[01:01:38] This whole time I could have been listening to afternoon drive Mickey and Amelia.
[01:01:46] This whole time I could have been listening to sports junkies.
[01:01:51] I could have been listening to Mike and the Mad Dog.
[01:01:59] Even if it was a radio, how would a radio?
[01:02:05] How would a radio even know it's harmony on the whole house?
[01:02:19] You know how to know, sir, you see the drawings of sperm.
[01:02:22] But when it comes out, it doesn't look like that at all.
[01:02:29] It's like how, you know, drawing a book.
[01:02:50] It's not a little tadpole fell out with it.
[01:02:53] I thought I was going to have all these tadpole fellas.
[01:02:56] I thought the tadpole fellas would come out of it.
[01:03:04] Everyone had come out of me at Easter this year because I found all the eggs.
[01:03:10] And I said, well, obviously it's not because I did it.
[01:03:15] If it was just for the children, I wouldn't have been able to do it.
[01:03:26] How would I be able to do certain things just for children, like going to a tiny door or
[01:04:02] They said everything's getting more expensive.
[01:04:05] And they said the price has got to come down.
[01:04:13] The supply's low and the demand's high, but they forget that that's all.
[01:04:18] Steeland, if something becomes too expensive, then you say, fuck it.
[01:04:26] You worry about the companies and it's on us to start nicking things.
[01:04:43] Whoever the fuck we call the train is an elderly woman next to her.
[01:04:58] I think they should give, why do you have to wait until you're an old lady and start taking
[01:05:07] And you're fixing the economy while you're doing it.
[01:05:09] Because it drives down prices in a medicine.
[01:05:13] The old bird, she's got to go back to the pharmacy and say, mongoloids, nick me.
[01:05:19] I fucking know one of these mongoloids off the lorry, Nick me medicine.
[01:05:27] But this time I'm paying half because you got nicked.
[01:05:37] And I'm nicking all the medicine off the old bird.
[01:05:43] Everything the supply is getting smaller if you do that.
[01:05:47] Because then there's less medicine for people to buy.
[01:06:01] Eventually you're going to pay you to take the medicine.
[01:06:04] Because it will drive the prices down so far.
[01:06:06] But people will say why even get the free medicine anymore?
[01:06:08] It's just going to get nicked by a lorry mama loy.
[01:06:22] You have to your nonsense stealing medicine off the old bird.
[01:06:32] One of these days I'll be able to read a bottle.
[01:06:37] So you don't know actually what kind of medicine is?
[01:06:42] All medicine is, you know, they try different things.
[01:06:49] We'll give it a fancy name and pretend like we came up with it.
[01:06:52] And say if it isn't something just fucking fuck off.
[01:07:00] Half the medicine we have came from the Holocaust.
[01:07:03] And we're not going to get any new medicine until they do another one.
[01:07:13] That's what they had to do all these coronavirus.
[01:07:19] It's weird that they call them medical trials, right?
[01:07:22] And it's like, okay, well let me ask you this then.