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Ep. ZZZ Late Night Hustle

TAFS | Regular | 09/29/2022

[00:00:00] driving
[00:00:15] that's our responsibility.
[00:00:36] That's what it says in the lease.
[00:00:37] So why are you going to tell the building?
[00:00:39] Because you can watch them come in.
[00:00:41] They're not generating.
[00:00:43] We're not making the mice.
[00:00:45] Yeah.
[00:00:46] Anyways, I don't know if I want to leave that part in.
[00:00:50] Why?
[00:00:51] I'm going to get mice advice.
[00:00:53] Oh, you're going to get so much mice advice.
[00:00:55] I get to fuck all this fucking advice from people, which I mean, I'll clarify the cable
[00:01:00] issue I've resolved.
[00:01:02] So please don't fucking email me.
[00:01:04] Yeah.
[00:01:05] Did he email you?
[00:01:07] He did it on his own.
[00:01:08] Oh, yeah.
[00:01:09] No thanks to any of you.
[00:01:11] Why does your email out there?
[00:01:12] My email's out there.
[00:01:13] I'm going to email from a guy who's like, never mind.
[00:01:15] You're a spawn of Satan.
[00:01:16] And then that was all he did.
[00:01:18] Yeah.
[00:01:19] Well, people get annoyed with me.
[00:01:20] From a random or a man you dated.
[00:01:21] A random.
[00:01:22] Oh, well, I'm like the classic fucking GED guy that's like, I can fucking do that.
[00:01:28] And what?
[00:01:29] Brain surgery?
[00:01:30] I got this shit.
[00:01:31] And then, you know, but like, so there's a lot of things.
[00:01:35] I'll just be like, yeah, this is easy.
[00:01:37] I'll do it myself.
[00:01:38] And then I burn the house down.
[00:01:40] But that's also the people I've attracted as an audience.
[00:01:46] So they're like, he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.
[00:01:48] I'm going to tell them what to do.
[00:01:49] And then I'm like, OK, what do you, what do I do?
[00:01:51] And then they're like googling.
[00:01:53] And then they're like, well, maybe this.
[00:01:55] And it's like, so you're the same guy as me.
[00:01:59] You're just two days behind me in the, I'll figure it out myself.
[00:02:02] Don't say that.
[00:02:03] Don't say that.
[00:02:04] OK, I've.
[00:02:05] You're giving them hope.
[00:02:06] No.
[00:02:07] Yes, you are.
[00:02:08] This is what I had to tell you.
[00:02:09] A guy that I met in Rhode Island, very tall, skinny, weird dude,
[00:02:14] black.
[00:02:15] He was talking about you.
[00:02:17] Slender man.
[00:02:18] Made me, he was like, got this close to me, two inches from my face.
[00:02:21] And was like, tell me how tall Adam is.
[00:02:24] And I was like, oh, no, he said, tell me how tall Nick is.
[00:02:28] And I was like, this song.
[00:02:29] He was like, OK, then how tall is Adam?
[00:02:33] Adam is this big and like went way shorter.
[00:02:35] And I was like, no.
[00:02:36] No, I'm totally.
[00:02:37] And then I mean, he made me talk about it with him for like,
[00:02:39] he was like fully convinced.
[00:02:41] And then at one point, he was like on the podcast,
[00:02:44] you said that you used to work at 9 to 5
[00:02:46] and you get tired out.
[00:02:48] And now you do an hour of comedy and you get tired out.
[00:02:52] And then he, with like one smooth motion whip tissue off,
[00:02:56] slammed it on the table in front of me so hard
[00:02:59] and was like, take a walk in my N word shoes.
[00:03:03] What?
[00:03:04] Yeah, this whole thing, it was crazy.
[00:03:05] He was nuts.
[00:03:06] I mean, it's still fucked up.
[00:03:08] I said, oh, yeah, it was a black.
[00:03:09] Are you kidding me?
[00:03:10] That's sick.
[00:03:11] You got to do it.
[00:03:12] That's great.
[00:03:12] Yeah, there's a lot of freaks out there.
[00:03:14] There are a lot of sickos.
[00:03:16] I've only met nice fans.
[00:03:18] He was cool.
[00:03:19] They're all nice.
[00:03:19] They're all really nice.
[00:03:20] And I don't think maybe it's just that every club you work,
[00:03:25] the manager will say like, oh, the people that
[00:03:28] came out to your show, they were like very courteous
[00:03:31] and nice, you know, as opposed to, I guess,
[00:03:34] if you have Joe Koi's audiences famously,
[00:03:38] they're all racist bikers.
[00:03:40] Yeah.
[00:03:43] Joe Koi's famous racist biker audience.
[00:03:46] The biggest comedian in America.
[00:03:48] I have a lot of women who are convinced
[00:03:50] that they can turn me.
[00:03:51] That's happened.
[00:03:53] Oh, like Lesi's.
[00:03:54] That's cool.
[00:03:56] It's a nightmare.
[00:03:57] Women are terrifying.
[00:03:58] When they're drunk and they're coming on to you,
[00:04:00] they'll just touch all of your body parts at once somehow.
[00:04:02] They're like, it's like claustrophobic.
[00:04:05] She'll be like, oh my god, I love your shirt.
[00:04:08] And you're like, you want to take it off.
[00:04:09] I'm like, just take it.
[00:04:10] You can have it.
[00:04:11] Go away.
[00:04:12] So you take your shirt off for these lesbians?
[00:04:14] Well, they're grabby.
[00:04:15] Do you guys deal with that?
[00:04:16] I mean, these costumes.
[00:04:17] Yeah, lesbians are constantly grabbing me.
[00:04:18] It's not.
[00:04:19] They're bisexual women.
[00:04:21] No, they're like.
[00:04:22] They have this theory that all bisexual women are ugly.
[00:04:24] And they're just taking whatever they can get.
[00:04:25] You know what I mean?
[00:04:26] Is this an Ian bit?
[00:04:28] No.
[00:04:29] No.
[00:04:29] Oh, shit.
[00:04:30] Ian, that's bisexual.
[00:04:31] That's not his, that's not his big.
[00:04:33] I think he is just gay.
[00:04:34] That's my theory, Ian.
[00:04:35] Yeah.
[00:04:35] I want him to be the New York comedian gay.
[00:04:37] Yeah.
[00:04:38] Yeah.
[00:04:38] Yeah.
[00:04:38] Where they just have sex with trans women.
[00:04:41] Yeah.
[00:04:42] Before they even had a name.
[00:04:44] When it was just used to be, you know, like somebody
[00:04:46] that went to Europe to get surgery.
[00:04:49] Yeah, I just.
[00:04:50] No, they don't go to Europe.
[00:04:51] You go to Thailand.
[00:04:52] We're South America.
[00:04:53] Or ever.
[00:04:54] Because I feel like his spectrum, he'll date men.
[00:04:56] He'll date trans women.
[00:04:59] And then, but the women that he dates are so feminine
[00:05:02] that they're almost not a woman.
[00:05:04] You know what I mean?
[00:05:04] Like they're just a doll.
[00:05:05] And the idea of like period sex to him, he's like, fuck no.
[00:05:08] You know what I mean?
[00:05:09] Ian pulls sushi.
[00:05:10] He does all right.
[00:05:11] Yeah, yeah, totally.
[00:05:12] He does okay.
[00:05:13] Yeah.
[00:05:13] Yeah.
[00:05:14] Well, he's got nothing to lose.
[00:05:15] Exactly.
[00:05:16] He can just go out and fuck a guy.
[00:05:17] If a woman rejects him, he'll be like, fine.
[00:05:19] I'll just go get AIDS.
[00:05:20] Right.
[00:05:21] It's like, how are your girlfriends?
[00:05:23] Oh, pardon me.
[00:05:24] I have to go to the bathroom.
[00:05:26] I have to make a little trip to the bathroom
[00:05:31] to deal with this rejection.
[00:05:33] Well, it's like how your girlfriend's gay friend just
[00:05:36] grabs her tits in front of you.
[00:05:38] Right.
[00:05:38] It's like, oh my god, sweetie, your tits look incredible.
[00:05:40] And they're like, palms it.
[00:05:42] But that's Ian's strategy in general.
[00:05:45] Yeah.
[00:05:45] Why are you saying people are like,
[00:05:47] he can't be that gay because the women he dates
[00:05:48] are like these Barbie dolls.
[00:05:50] And I'm like, no, that's because he's gay and repulsed
[00:05:53] by women that he has to date.
[00:05:54] He's also very confident.
[00:05:55] One of the funniest nights of my life,
[00:05:57] I was hanging out with me and Stav and, I don't know,
[00:05:59] there's a couple other comics.
[00:06:00] We all went out to dinner.
[00:06:01] I think Evan Williams was there, maybe.
[00:06:04] And we all went to some diner near the old stand.
[00:06:07] And Ian starts talking about how he's a handsome guy.
[00:06:10] And me and Stav are like, on a scale of one to 10,
[00:06:13] where do you put yourself?
[00:06:14] He's like, I don't know, like eight, nine or something.
[00:06:17] Yeah, he is very confident.
[00:06:18] And we're like, Ian, you're one of the ugliest people
[00:06:21] I've ever seen in my life.
[00:06:23] You look like the entire band, Toto, went into the machine
[00:06:26] from the fly.
[00:06:27] And that's what came out.
[00:06:29] No, I get it.
[00:06:29] I was looking at him today in the pocket.
[00:06:31] I was like, I can see it.
[00:06:32] He has, there is a, I mean, he's like a brother,
[00:06:35] at this point, it's a little gross, but I can see the,
[00:06:37] he's got a stockiness.
[00:06:39] He has the barrel-chested thing.
[00:06:41] That's good.
[00:06:41] You know what I mean?
[00:06:42] No, I wouldn't fuck you.
[00:06:44] But I do think it's the confidence.
[00:06:45] If he didn't have confidence.
[00:06:46] He is the confidence.
[00:06:48] But that's how all male comics are.
[00:06:50] Yeah, I'm very confident.
[00:06:51] Unfuckable except for the confidence.
[00:06:53] Oh.
[00:06:54] You know what I mean?
[00:06:55] Really carries him through.
[00:06:57] Interesting.
[00:06:58] So you think old guys are male comedians or unfundable?
[00:07:02] Yeah, pretty much.
[00:07:04] I agree.
[00:07:05] I was watching Mike Racine's old late night.
[00:07:08] He used to be a hot guy.
[00:07:08] He's a really hot guy.
[00:07:10] Yeah, he looks like Wario now.
[00:07:13] Yeah, he's gone more Italian.
[00:07:15] Something's going on.
[00:07:16] He keeps texting me and being like, you want to go to the gym?
[00:07:18] And I'm like, no, I'm not ever going to do that with you.
[00:07:20] That's the last thing I ever wanted to do.
[00:07:23] Me and him are on the road together all the time.
[00:07:25] We'll hit that hotel gym.
[00:07:26] And it's just like, what are we even fucking doing here?
[00:07:30] We've got more exercise in that elevator.
[00:07:33] Like on the way to the hotel gym.
[00:07:35] Isn't it weird that he's just out in the world right now
[00:07:37] like existing like the fact that he just wakes up every day.
[00:07:41] And he's like, I'm going to be this guy again.
[00:07:43] Yeah.
[00:07:44] Wait, did Ian kill that podcast that we did?
[00:07:48] He buried the episode of being Ian.
[00:07:51] Did he because the kid was walking?
[00:07:53] I haven't seen it released.
[00:07:55] I think he should.
[00:07:56] I think it was incredibly bad.
[00:07:57] That must be on the Patreon.
[00:07:58] I have no idea.
[00:07:59] That was the one he called a dystopian nightmare.
[00:08:01] Oh, damn.
[00:08:02] Well, because we're seeing the whole time.
[00:08:04] We're seeing Broadway's getting made up.
[00:08:05] Don't do that.
[00:08:06] And you're like, maybe doesn't speak English, dude.
[00:08:09] That's one of the best Ian quotes of all time.
[00:08:11] What?
[00:08:11] dystopian nightmares.
[00:08:13] The episode is bad.
[00:08:14] He texts Adam.
[00:08:16] And he goes, I'm sorry for the dystopian nightmare.
[00:08:20] I guess he heard the words dystopian nightmare.
[00:08:22] He's like, I'm just going to say this.
[00:08:24] He thought it was like a Philip K. Dick no.
[00:08:26] That's the other thing comedians do.
[00:08:28] They'll all at the same time get hooked on some expression.
[00:08:32] None of them.
[00:08:33] None of them.
[00:08:34] None of them will check.
[00:08:36] They'll just, I've made this point before.
[00:08:37] But there was a while where a bunch of comics kept saying,
[00:08:40] oh, that's a real Sophie's choice.
[00:08:42] Oh, yeah, totally totally.
[00:08:44] And they're just describing any decision.
[00:08:48] Yeah, all the milk or oat milk.
[00:08:49] That's a real Sophie's choice.
[00:08:52] I'm trying to think of the zeitgeist thing that's happening now.
[00:08:55] Inside baseball was the thing they were all saying for a while.
[00:08:57] That was the thing.
[00:08:58] Yeah.
[00:08:59] Matter.
[00:09:00] Matter was the word that would be like you don't.
[00:09:01] But like Louie would always say, because you don't matter.
[00:09:04] Or something like that.
[00:09:04] And people started using the Amazon.
[00:09:06] I just want to matter.
[00:09:08] Yeah.
[00:09:10] What's another one?
[00:09:10] Twice last night I heard people talking
[00:09:12] about black people in commercials.
[00:09:14] On stage?
[00:09:15] Yeah.
[00:09:16] I've been doing that.
[00:09:17] You've been talking about that?
[00:09:18] Well, about how that was the only impact of George Floyd.
[00:09:22] So there's more black people in commercials.
[00:09:24] Is the state farm guy?
[00:09:26] Well, it's like, yeah, it's like.
[00:09:27] We're hiding them from the police in commercials.
[00:09:29] Tyrone and Wang are trying to find the right banking
[00:09:33] solutions for their family.
[00:09:35] Yeah, totally.
[00:09:35] That's kind of the only thing that's changed.
[00:09:37] I know I was talking to my mom about that.
[00:09:38] She was just in town.
[00:09:39] I was talking about how it just changed the lives
[00:09:41] of a few actors.
[00:09:42] And that's all that happened.
[00:09:44] But the punchline is, and I'll just burn this bit,
[00:09:46] because it's not very good.
[00:09:47] But the punchline is, and if George saw that,
[00:09:50] he would have been so happy.
[00:09:52] He probably would have been.
[00:09:53] He strikes me as a kind of guy that would be pleased by a lot
[00:09:56] of stuff.
[00:09:57] That would see black people in McDonald's commercial
[00:09:59] and be like, let's go.
[00:10:00] I'm sure the first time George Floyd saw a big mouth
[00:10:03] billy bass, he was like, this is great.
[00:10:06] Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.
[00:10:07] Yeah.
[00:10:08] He seems like a guy that would be wowed by that.
[00:10:10] After he died, I went on X videos.
[00:10:14] And his porn was like all over.
[00:10:16] Oh, right.
[00:10:16] I forgot about it.
[00:10:17] It was all over the front page.
[00:10:18] And it's like, rest in power, George Floyd.
[00:10:21] Say his name, George Floyd.
[00:10:23] Yeah.
[00:10:25] Yeah, a lot of free advertising.
[00:10:27] You said, I mean, Pornhub got like free.
[00:10:28] You know what we call so funny to fuck a dude
[00:10:30] and be like, say his name.
[00:10:31] And they're like, what?
[00:10:32] Say your name?
[00:10:33] No, say George Floyd.
[00:10:34] You know there was a guy at the marketing team
[00:10:38] at fucking Pornhub when their numbers are going up.
[00:10:40] After the George Floyd thing.
[00:10:41] It was like, guys, we got to use this.
[00:10:44] We got to figure out a way to let people know we have
[00:10:48] the George Floyd porn on.
[00:10:50] Well, I don't want to say like Eric, no.
[00:10:52] Wait, I'm sorry.
[00:10:53] Is there actually George Floyd?
[00:10:55] Yeah.
[00:10:55] No, there is no one.
[00:10:56] Like during the interview part of the beginning,
[00:10:58] they're like, what's your name?
[00:10:59] And he's like, Floyd the landlord or something.
[00:11:01] Because that was the thing conservatives
[00:11:03] who go after him for Sean Hannity was like,
[00:11:05] And he's a slut.
[00:11:07] He died of fentanyl and he's a whore.
[00:11:11] Yeah.
[00:11:12] But I don't want to speak ill of the dead.
[00:11:15] But he did.
[00:11:17] If I remember correctly, have a difficult time
[00:11:20] maintaining an erection.
[00:11:22] Yeah, that's all that fucking fentanyl in this.
[00:11:24] That's all that.
[00:11:25] It was all that.
[00:11:26] Maybe he should put his dick in a chokehold.
[00:11:29] Put a little triangle lock on his cock.
[00:11:33] You know?
[00:11:34] Maybe if Derek had been there to help out.
[00:11:38] Neil has to.
[00:11:39] Yeah, Derek, Neil on this.
[00:11:42] Wow.
[00:11:44] How do you think he's doing in jail?
[00:11:46] Derek?
[00:11:47] Oh, he's de-bellad-able.
[00:11:48] I just imagine in just a room with him and Subway
[00:11:51] Jared playing Settlers of Catan.
[00:11:53] Trying to keep to themselves.
[00:11:55] Shavina is wearing a hoop dress.
[00:11:58] He looks like a little bow peep.
[00:12:01] And his boyfriend is the head of the Muslim Brotherhood.
[00:12:06] Have you just been to jail?
[00:12:07] No.
[00:12:08] Oh, God.
[00:12:08] I really don't want to.
[00:12:10] I'll just think about that.
[00:12:11] Sounds terrible.
[00:12:12] There's still time.
[00:12:14] It's weird to think about that.
[00:12:15] You could just go to jail.
[00:12:16] I mean, you don't want to go.
[00:12:17] I've been to jail and I was.
[00:12:18] How long?
[00:12:20] For like three years.
[00:12:22] No, no, no, no.
[00:12:23] Like 36 hours.
[00:12:25] Oh, I thought you were about to say months.
[00:12:27] I was like, day come.
[00:12:28] No, no, no, no, no.
[00:12:29] 36 hours?
[00:12:30] That's so long.
[00:12:31] Yeah, I was thinking about how when you have to call to get out,
[00:12:35] but the phone tells the person you're calling.
[00:12:38] Oh, this is a call from Bank Correctional Officer.
[00:12:40] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:12:42] It's cool when guys do freestyles on mixtape.
[00:12:45] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:12:46] Leave that in.
[00:12:47] But I seem to have fucked up that.
[00:12:48] It's like it's not a right to a call.
[00:12:50] You're not giving me a normal phone.
[00:12:51] I'm narked on immediately by a robot.
[00:12:54] You know what I mean?
[00:12:55] Well, you want to lie to the person and be like,
[00:12:56] yeah, I'm just chilling.
[00:12:57] I would like the first words.
[00:12:59] It should say this is Publishers Clearinghouse.
[00:13:00] Yeah, you should say one of the million dollars.
[00:13:02] Please save me.
[00:13:03] Please save me right now.
[00:13:04] I wanted to fucking cry.
[00:13:06] I would be crying the entire time.
[00:13:08] I'd be such a bitch.
[00:13:09] I did cry.
[00:13:10] As soon as my mom picked up the phone,
[00:13:11] she was laughing hysterically and I was crying.
[00:13:13] Also, imagine getting six months.
[00:13:17] That would be so long to be in jail.
[00:13:21] I had a friend that would go to jail all the time
[00:13:24] for long stretches, like 18 months.
[00:13:26] And he would get out and then play catch up on culture.
[00:13:30] And so it would just be way too late.
[00:13:35] He'd be like, have you seen Dan in real life?
[00:13:38] You remember what Jamel was saying about his friend?
[00:13:40] No.
[00:13:41] His friend got out of jail.
[00:13:43] And at the bottom of porn videos,
[00:13:46] it's like share this on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.
[00:13:49] And so he'd be like sharing porn at 11 AM on a Tuesday
[00:13:53] on Facebook.
[00:13:54] He didn't know how to use Facebook.
[00:13:55] He didn't know what it was for.
[00:13:56] And Jamel was like, you can't be doing that.
[00:13:59] It's very funny.
[00:14:00] Hampton told me a funny story.
[00:14:01] It is a retarded French Canadian cousin who got on Facebook
[00:14:07] and was just posting pornography.
[00:14:10] Oh, her boob is so good.
[00:14:13] Oh my god.
[00:14:14] And they're like, Claude Pierre, no.
[00:14:16] You can't do that.
[00:14:19] He's retarded and French.
[00:14:21] And they left it up.
[00:14:22] They just took one of my videos down for white trash.
[00:14:25] Porn?
[00:14:25] Post porn.
[00:14:26] Yeah.
[00:14:27] You're on PornHub?
[00:14:28] No on Facebook.
[00:14:30] Oh, Facebook.
[00:14:30] It's all owned by the same people.
[00:14:31] Oh, white trash as a slur?
[00:14:34] I called somebody white trash.
[00:14:35] But I also said I was white trash.
[00:14:36] You can't say that.
[00:14:37] Can I really?
[00:14:38] Yeah, you can't.
[00:14:39] They took it down.
[00:14:39] White trash?
[00:14:40] They didn't even do the thing where they're like,
[00:14:44] this is a little bad.
[00:14:45] But they took it fully off the internet.
[00:14:47] Yeah, it's wild now, Hal.
[00:14:48] I mean, I'm not going to get into censorship saying.
[00:14:51] But they've really just turned the internet into China.
[00:14:55] It's crazy.
[00:14:56] Well, we were on TikTok.
[00:14:57] And then it's like, you're like, oh, you can't say shit.
[00:14:59] I'm TikTok because it's China.
[00:15:01] And now Instagram, it does the same shit.
[00:15:03] I mean, you have to like bleep out swear words
[00:15:04] and stuff if you post videos.
[00:15:05] It's crazy.
[00:15:07] Yeah, I mean, at a certain point, like when the smoke clears,
[00:15:12] if it does ever, like in 10 years, when people look back,
[00:15:16] the absurdity of not being able to go online and say,
[00:15:18] like, I don't think the vaccines work.
[00:15:20] Yeah, it's crazy.
[00:15:22] You just can't say that.
[00:15:24] What's really weird is they left up my video
[00:15:26] where a cat called Hasidic Jews literally harassing.
[00:15:29] Yeah, whatever it hates.
[00:15:30] That's not funny.
[00:15:31] They didn't take it down.
[00:15:32] That is not funny.
[00:15:33] It might not be funny, but it is.
[00:15:34] It is so funny.
[00:15:35] It's very funny.
[00:15:36] And they left up the left.
[00:15:38] That got reported by a million Hasids.
[00:15:41] But then the one, the way trash one went down in minutes.
[00:15:45] During the early days when Nick was living in Chinatown,
[00:15:48] you did one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
[00:15:51] What?
[00:15:51] You can't call it like an old Chinese man who's
[00:15:55] like wearing the pajamas.
[00:15:57] And you were like, god damn.
[00:15:58] Oh, shit.
[00:15:59] Look at you.
[00:16:00] I love the Chinatown.
[00:16:03] I like it when they're dressed up as the recycling bags
[00:16:05] that they're picking through.
[00:16:06] That's my favorite.
[00:16:07] Those guys, yeah.
[00:16:10] Yeah, I miss living in Chinatown.
[00:16:12] Yeah, there's some of them are real fun.
[00:16:15] Yeah.
[00:16:15] Some of those guys are just like making, they're like,
[00:16:18] fuck it, I'm still in China, dude.
[00:16:19] Yeah.
[00:16:20] I'm going to just act Chinese.
[00:16:23] Indeed.
[00:16:23] It's crazy.
[00:16:24] Most of them.
[00:16:24] It's crazy.
[00:16:25] We need to poo backpack and booty shorts.
[00:16:28] 63 years old.
[00:16:29] It's crazy when you hear some of them
[00:16:31] speaking they have full on New York accents.
[00:16:34] Yeah.
[00:16:35] Well, there is that giant, there is that black and black
[00:16:37] accent.
[00:16:37] Some of them have a Chinese New York accent.
[00:16:41] So they're like, yeah, who wants the gold or the fucking
[00:16:43] restaurant later?
[00:16:45] Yeah, yeah.
[00:16:46] That's fucking totally, totally.
[00:16:48] The guys that run the Chinatown buses.
[00:16:50] Many people go play mai-jung under the fucking China
[00:16:53] clean up.
[00:16:54] They always have like jade gold necklace with those guys.
[00:16:58] Those guys are fucking awesome.
[00:16:59] Like the waker Chinese guys.
[00:17:01] They're the best.
[00:17:02] Yeah.
[00:17:02] Oh, yeah.
[00:17:03] The big ass avianers and fishing best.
[00:17:05] Yeah.
[00:17:07] That's fire.
[00:17:08] Yeah.
[00:17:09] I love those guys.
[00:17:09] So Jordan, you just recently started fucking Chinese guys.
[00:17:13] You want to talk about that?
[00:17:15] I'm trying to get better at interviewing.
[00:17:16] I don't want the public to know about that.
[00:17:18] So if we could, you know.
[00:17:20] We can cut that.
[00:17:21] Thank you so much.
[00:17:22] I've never fucked a Chinese man.
[00:17:23] I've also never, I don't think I've ever had sex with a
[00:17:25] black man.
[00:17:26] Really?
[00:17:27] I don't think I have.
[00:17:27] Not even that guy in Rhode Island.
[00:17:29] The one that was smelling you.
[00:17:30] The one who's playing a shoe.
[00:17:31] He was shooting a table.
[00:17:34] Maybe I have.
[00:17:34] I think I have that.
[00:17:35] That guy sounds like a real Don Juan DeMarco.
[00:17:38] I should.
[00:17:39] I probably should just so that I know you shouldn't fuck
[00:17:41] that vagrant.
[00:17:42] That's true.
[00:17:43] No, no, no, no.
[00:17:43] But you know, I should branch out a little bit.
[00:17:45] I only fuck people who like look like me.
[00:17:47] Really?
[00:17:48] They're related to me.
[00:17:49] Oh my god.
[00:17:50] Interesting.
[00:17:50] Yeah.
[00:17:51] I'm also into incest porn.
[00:17:52] Maybe that's why you're into, yeah, you're into Ian now.
[00:17:54] Because like you said, you led with, he's like a bummer.
[00:17:57] You don't look like he's.
[00:17:58] So it's probably just that.
[00:17:59] Yeah, but there's this disheveled aspect of the thing.
[00:18:03] Or Mike Roland, my roommate.
[00:18:05] We look very similar.
[00:18:06] I haven't fucked him, but I will.
[00:18:08] You will?
[00:18:09] It'll happen.
[00:18:10] Wow.
[00:18:11] We'll send the girl over to light him now.
[00:18:14] OK, good.
[00:18:15] Yeah.
[00:18:16] What are you going to do?
[00:18:17] You're going to get like stuck under a table?
[00:18:19] Somebody, oh, Jeff Asma said he turned on his hinge off
[00:18:23] so it was only black women.
[00:18:25] I thought that was interesting.
[00:18:26] Only in turn you can specify.
[00:18:28] Yeah, you can specify, right?
[00:18:29] Isn't that crazy?
[00:18:30] That seems weird.
[00:18:31] I know.
[00:18:32] It's really funny.
[00:18:32] Especially because the dating apps are the most like fucking,
[00:18:35] like, you know.
[00:18:36] I don't hate on that.
[00:18:39] What?
[00:18:40] I mean, specifying reason.
[00:18:41] Preference is preference.
[00:18:43] I wonder if it's so many people spend their whole lives not
[00:18:46] knowing what they want.
[00:18:47] If you figured it out.
[00:18:49] Roberts and Nero knows exactly what it looks like.
[00:18:51] I bet it's gay, though.
[00:18:52] I bet it's like you can't make it so it's white only.
[00:18:54] You know what I mean?
[00:18:55] I bet it's like you can only have it be.
[00:18:57] But if you're a white man, you said it to Asian only.
[00:19:00] That's almost as bad as you.
[00:19:02] Yeah, I guess so.
[00:19:03] That's almost worse.
[00:19:05] I think you can do it.
[00:19:05] If you're like an only Asian women white guy, that's like more.
[00:19:08] I'm going to look and see if you can do it.
[00:19:10] Let me see.
[00:19:11] To set it to Asian guys?
[00:19:14] Yeah, I'm going to try and set it to Asian guys only.
[00:19:15] Anytime I see an Asian guy.
[00:19:17] Your phone just starts overheating.
[00:19:19] White girl.
[00:19:20] It's a bing.
[00:19:22] All right, let's see.
[00:19:22] Settings.
[00:19:24] Adrian.
[00:19:25] Ethnicity.
[00:19:26] Holy shit.
[00:19:27] Wow.
[00:19:28] I don't know.
[00:19:29] You can set it to Southeast Asian, Pacific Island or Middle East.
[00:19:33] They got to make it.
[00:19:34] They got to do South East Asian.
[00:19:35] They got to be its own goddamn continent.
[00:19:37] I'm tired of this fucking this like, oh, what do you mean?
[00:19:41] You know what I mean?
[00:19:42] Oh, that we're Asian, dude.
[00:19:44] We're also Asian.
[00:19:46] It's like the continent shit.
[00:19:49] Who cares?
[00:19:50] These continents don't have culture.
[00:19:51] It's just like some people.
[00:19:52] Also that continent is way too big.
[00:19:53] Yeah.
[00:19:54] Yeah.
[00:19:55] Siberia.
[00:19:56] That's too much.
[00:19:57] Yeah, it's a product.
[00:19:58] It's a product of Eurocentrism that your Indians are considered Asian to begin with.
[00:20:02] It's like, oh, we'll just blow them all in.
[00:20:04] Well, it's lunch time.
[00:20:05] I don't think we went on naming the continents.
[00:20:08] I don't think we need to do it anymore today.
[00:20:12] You got the heart of darkness, Africa.
[00:20:16] Yeah.
[00:20:17] And then you have Asia.
[00:20:18] I don't know why I'm doing Australia.
[00:20:21] It's like.
[00:20:22] It's starting off doing it.
[00:20:24] Australia is more fun.
[00:20:25] I'm so just copy.
[00:20:26] You can do.
[00:20:27] I'm such a copy that I did Australian.
[00:20:29] No.
[00:20:30] As a comedian, everyone can do a British accent.
[00:20:34] But if you're trying to be funny, Australian comes out because it's like, it's like, what's
[00:20:38] a stupid version of like a British accent?
[00:20:41] I was just talking.
[00:20:42] I had an audience member in the front row just now.
[00:20:44] Who's Australian?
[00:20:45] And every question I asked him, he'd go, not bad.
[00:20:47] And I became violent with Ray.
[00:20:50] What are you doing here in New York?
[00:20:52] Not bad.
[00:20:53] Not bad.
[00:20:54] Not bad, isn't it?
[00:20:57] It's crazy.
[00:20:58] I think I become rageful around Australians.
[00:21:00] I just find them to be.
[00:21:01] Yeah, they're like.
[00:21:02] They're disgusting.
[00:21:03] They don't contribute anything.
[00:21:04] My parents almost moved there instead of America.
[00:21:07] Yeah.
[00:21:08] And Australian accent makes you sound.
[00:21:10] I just assume you're an idiot if you have an Australian accent.
[00:21:13] Where as if you have a British accent, you'd like, I'm like, oh, this guy's probably an
[00:21:17] author.
[00:21:18] Yeah.
[00:21:19] It's probably William Shakespeare.
[00:21:20] I was in my old roommate Joe, he played rugby, and he had all these rugby friends.
[00:21:23] And one of his friends was this British guy.
[00:21:25] And I hung out with him, I mean, you were drinking or whatever.
[00:21:28] But I hung out with him like a handful of times.
[00:21:30] And it took until like the fifth time, I'm like, this guy's like a mental fucking invalid.
[00:21:35] Yeah.
[00:21:36] He's like, beyond.
[00:21:37] You know, I was like, what'd you do today?
[00:21:39] He's like, oh, what to die you mean?
[00:21:46] Yeah, a column is Irish and I am everything.
[00:21:51] Anytime he says a word that's like more than one syllable, I'm like, good job, big boy.
[00:21:56] I think I've showed people there's a clip of him doing stand up from like 15 years ago
[00:22:01] or something a long time ago.
[00:22:03] And he like had to learn the English language.
[00:22:05] Yeah.
[00:22:06] He just doesn't like you go look at older shit.
[00:22:10] He's just unintelligible.
[00:22:11] Yeah.
[00:22:12] But it's not like he's saying words.
[00:22:14] It's like even in I even in game, whatever.
[00:22:17] Yeah.
[00:22:18] Yeah.
[00:22:19] No, it's just like, yeah, it just like, yeah.
[00:22:23] And then I'll be like, speaks train goes.
[00:22:26] Yeah.
[00:22:27] Yeah.
[00:22:28] That's part of the problem, too, is he's learning English from people.
[00:22:31] Right.
[00:22:32] Yeah.
[00:22:33] He's learning Philly.
[00:22:34] I mean, there's one joke where he uses the word velocity and the entire audience erupts
[00:22:39] just because they're like, holy, we never could guess.
[00:22:42] Velocity velocity velocity velocity velocity velocity velocity velocity like that.
[00:22:51] Velocity.
[00:22:52] They laugh at me.
[00:22:53] No, you're still Australian.
[00:22:54] Well, should I might velocity?
[00:22:56] No, bad.
[00:22:57] Not bad.
[00:22:58] We're laughing about a British moron.
[00:22:59] Just might be your finest work.
[00:23:14] What do you mean?
[00:23:16] Your characterization was also so good.
[00:23:18] What do you mean?
[00:23:19] You're like a Guy Ritchie character.
[00:23:21] Well, because if you think about it, that's when you know British guys about to say the
[00:23:25] dumbest fucking shit.
[00:23:26] If you think about it, really, if you think about it, really, really, really, really,
[00:23:33] really, really, really.
[00:23:34] I'm British, I'm Chinese and I'm from the low East Saudi or Saudi.
[00:23:37] I think about, you know, what we doing here, we're sitting around playing margin under
[00:23:44] a laundromat all day long.
[00:23:46] Yeah.
[00:23:47] We might as well be back in fucking China.
[00:23:51] You think they ever think that?
[00:23:52] You think that.
[00:23:53] You think they do in it?
[00:23:57] I got my, I got my, you hear about this George Floyd fella?
[00:24:03] He was Nick and Quiz at the, at the drugstore, the couple's gone.
[00:24:09] Why do we have British people here?
[00:24:10] Why do we only have Australians everywhere?
[00:24:12] What in New York City?
[00:24:14] Yeah.
[00:24:15] I don't know.
[00:24:16] There used to be that.
[00:24:17] Well, it was because the visa program, because they support us in Iraq.
[00:24:20] Real quick, I'll just say the words, my bookie.
[00:24:23] My bookie.ag if you want to bet on shit.
[00:24:25] And then we'll come back to it.
[00:24:26] Go into my book.ag promo code, come town or come town 20.
[00:24:29] There was a British community named Tom something who's a nice guy when I moved here.
[00:24:34] And I don't know if he's around anymore, but I remember he had a joke that made me laugh.
[00:24:37] And I don't know if he ever did it more than once.
[00:24:39] I just don't do it in an open mic, but he's like, he's like talking about his complaint
[00:24:43] about his wife being like, being like, my body's saying that I have to have a baby.
[00:24:48] You know, and he's like, well, why are you listening to your fucking body?
[00:24:51] He's like, my body's telling me to fuck a 14.
[00:24:53] Yeah, that's good.
[00:24:55] That is good.
[00:24:56] But it's, I mean, it's never that devil never do well with an audience.
[00:25:00] Yeah, that's blue.
[00:25:01] Well, I'm going to make comedians laugh, but looking at a grown man saying he wants to
[00:25:05] fuck a 14 year old on stage.
[00:25:07] It's a bit.
[00:25:08] No, you can, it can be done.
[00:25:09] It can be done.
[00:25:10] Remember when Louie did the whole not maybe Louie did it, but not British Tom did the
[00:25:14] whole what used his power?
[00:25:16] He did the whole SNL thing about like, obviously fucking kids is better, but we don't do it.
[00:25:22] I mean, it's like, oh, yeah, he did it for the monologue, right?
[00:25:24] It was really good.
[00:25:25] It was very maybe his finest work.
[00:25:27] Well, he took a gamble like you can.
[00:25:30] And my book, he got a big sport season in a film season is back.
[00:25:35] The NBA is coming back.
[00:25:36] You can go there.
[00:25:37] You can bet you don't have to download an app.
[00:25:40] It's all online.
[00:25:41] You can use Bitcoin.
[00:25:42] They have casino table games.
[00:25:45] You can bet on races.
[00:25:47] You could bet on with Indian football and you pick winners all the time.
[00:25:52] So why not get paid for them at my bookie bet.
[00:25:55] Single game spreads money lines or parlay multiple DJ sports betting.
[00:25:59] No, do these words mean anything to you?
[00:26:01] No, single game spreads money lines or parlay multiple together.
[00:26:05] Parlay is a combination of different bets to increase the odds.
[00:26:10] So if you get all of the bets, I know what a spread is.
[00:26:13] What's a money?
[00:26:14] Money line is just to pick the winner outright.
[00:26:17] Oh, OK.
[00:26:18] Yeah.
[00:26:19] So that's the simplest one.
[00:26:21] Yeah.
[00:26:22] Interesting.
[00:26:23] But you get the lowest odds for that.
[00:26:24] Well, they got low contest entry fees and over half a million to be won.
[00:26:28] Make it so you don't have to be a pro-gram board to have fun.
[00:26:31] I tried to bet on a baseball game in Boston recently.
[00:26:34] You couldn't do it.
[00:26:35] Is it illegal?
[00:26:36] I think you just have to do it.
[00:26:38] No, they have gambling there, no.
[00:26:39] They have a win now in Boston.
[00:26:42] I went with Caleb when I was there in February.
[00:26:45] It was a baseball game, awful sport, horrible sport.
[00:26:47] Baseball.
[00:26:48] Oh my god.
[00:26:49] It's nice to go to.
[00:26:50] It's nice to go to.
[00:26:51] Really?
[00:26:52] This is nice to go to.
[00:26:53] Fun to hang.
[00:26:54] Yeah, Joe, that's what makes it fun.
[00:26:55] You're outside.
[00:26:56] You're a ******* ******* ******* ******* *******.
[00:26:57] I mean, you wouldn't go to a baseball game by yourself and sit there with your fingers.
[00:27:00] I saw people doing that.
[00:27:03] Those men have a mental disorder.
[00:27:05] Yeah.
[00:27:06] I think they do.
[00:27:07] They're writing things down in a book.
[00:27:08] We went to board.
[00:27:09] They're keeping score.
[00:27:10] Yeah.
[00:27:11] That Yankees game.
[00:27:12] They got this.
[00:27:13] They're really good.
[00:27:14] This is a artistic black guy on the bus back.
[00:27:16] We saw an artistic black guy in the guy who opens me and goes, that's employable man.
[00:27:21] That's the most employable man.
[00:27:23] Stop.
[00:27:24] Stop with me in the Orioles.
[00:27:25] Where are you?
[00:27:26] This guy is like, the War, the Orioles.
[00:27:29] They're doing first through third.
[00:27:31] They're not playing the Orioles until, they're not as serious as the Orioles.
[00:27:35] They're doing June 1st through the third, you know?
[00:27:38] He had like seven backpacks.
[00:27:39] And watching like stop doesn't stop doesn't have patience for regular people with watching
[00:27:44] him try to interact with you.
[00:27:46] You know, being like that.
[00:27:48] That's okay.
[00:27:49] Okay, buddy.
[00:27:50] That was a fun day.
[00:27:52] Oh, yeah.
[00:27:53] Phil got us those tickets through Sony.
[00:27:56] Anyway, guys, my bookie dot AG is getting started as easy.
[00:28:00] Just my bookie dot AG and use promo code, come town or come town 20 or TAFS or the ad
[00:28:05] and free one show or whatever it is.
[00:28:07] Whatever.
[00:28:08] On your first deposit to secure a double deposit bonus as promo code.
[00:28:12] What I just said to get your first deposit matched dollar for dollar all the way up to
[00:28:17] a thousand bucks.
[00:28:18] My bookie is a proven sports book that makes it simple to bet and win.
[00:28:22] So make this your winning season exclusively at my bookie.
[00:28:26] That'll have to do.
[00:28:28] I'm too tired to inject.
[00:28:30] I wonder if he has been here.
[00:28:32] Been here today.
[00:28:33] Yeah.
[00:28:34] I was on the phone with my accountant all morning and so I got here on noon.
[00:28:42] Have you recorded a bunch of episodes?
[00:28:43] No, no, I've just been doing like this shit and then slowly putting this all up.
[00:28:49] But I got a just that pipe.
[00:28:52] What's that pipe for?
[00:28:54] Hanging lighting.
[00:28:55] Okay.
[00:28:56] Okay.
[00:28:57] Okay.
[00:28:58] Yeah, lighting is all the I mean, we have to get like lighting lighting.
[00:29:02] Some guys in the DP in here, but they're they have like a specific way.
[00:29:06] All like this lighting equipment and shit was invented by like illiterate people a hundred
[00:29:11] years ago.
[00:29:13] So like these stands and stuff that was all, you know, just some guy that came up with
[00:29:19] it.
[00:29:20] But that's the equipment that everything uses.
[00:29:22] So you know, there's this strut channel up there and the strut, you can do cool stuff
[00:29:26] with strut channel.
[00:29:27] Like you can put little trolleys in there and move stuff around and you can clamp whatever
[00:29:31] it, the strut channel.
[00:29:32] Oh, yeah.
[00:29:33] I've hung these for like fixtures in art galleries.
[00:29:35] Yeah, but they're for film production.
[00:29:38] They need that pipe.
[00:29:41] So that gets clamped.
[00:29:42] Dude, we went to the tonight show.
[00:29:44] We went to whatever that but what is it?
[00:29:46] 30 Rock.
[00:29:47] No, it's actually Adam Friedlin show.
[00:29:49] Yeah, I know it looks a lot like they're ceiling.
[00:29:52] It was packed every single square inch had a different light on it.
[00:29:56] Like a different it's going to be like that.
[00:29:57] It was chaos.
[00:29:58] It was really cool.
[00:29:59] Yeah, yeah.
[00:30:01] One of our buddies stood up and cheered for Mike and like busted his head hard on one
[00:30:05] of the lights.
[00:30:06] That's what I want to do.
[00:30:07] That's what I want to do.
[00:30:08] All into my room.
[00:30:09] I want to get like just a minute.
[00:30:11] He deserved it or no.
[00:30:13] He crushed it.
[00:30:14] He did great, but it's so weird going into those places because it's like his films
[00:30:18] drunk.
[00:30:19] Yeah, for sure.
[00:30:20] I mean, he literally came up to me and went nice to see you again.
[00:30:23] And I was like, no way buddy.
[00:30:25] Damn.
[00:30:26] Nice.
[00:30:27] That's alcoholism.
[00:30:28] He felt way more kindred than any everybody else there was like a bizarre people with
[00:30:33] dementia do that.
[00:30:34] My grandma does that.
[00:30:35] I see her.
[00:30:36] I'm like, hey, she's like, yeah, sure.
[00:30:37] Sure.
[00:30:38] I love that.
[00:30:39] Yeah.
[00:30:40] Oh, yeah.
[00:30:41] My grandma was an absolute cruel mean woman.
[00:30:45] Then she got Alzheimer's and she became so nice.
[00:30:49] It was incredible.
[00:30:50] Yeah, that's the best.
[00:30:51] She just feel like have you eaten.
[00:30:53] You looking credible.
[00:30:54] That's all I want.
[00:30:55] She was like, it's great to see you.
[00:30:56] My grandma's been like drunk forever.
[00:30:59] So like, you know, like I think somebody normal get Alzheimer's and they're like, I used to
[00:31:03] run a business and now I have a diaper and they're furious.
[00:31:06] It's like, do you see that movie, The Father?
[00:31:09] Uh-uh.
[00:31:10] I actually hated it.
[00:31:11] Was that Anthony Hopkins?
[00:31:12] Anthony Hopkins movie.
[00:31:13] I didn't watch it.
[00:31:14] I thought it was like, I mean, I guess it is probably an accurate portrayal of like bad
[00:31:17] Alzheimer's, but it's just like kind of a heartless movie.
[00:31:20] Yeah.
[00:31:21] It'd be like watching a movie called like the burn victim.
[00:31:23] Oh, I see.
[00:31:24] And somebody just like.
[00:31:25] What's that?
[00:31:26] Ah!
[00:31:27] For like two hours.
[00:31:28] What's that documentary about that country music guy who's like starting Alzheimer's?
[00:31:33] Yeah, Glenn Campbell.
[00:31:34] Glenn Campbell.
[00:31:35] Yeah, it's like follows him around as he's getting old.
[00:31:38] It's as he's getting dementia, but what's crazy is he's like, he doesn't, you know,
[00:31:43] he's like introducing his daughter on stage and you can't remember a fucking name.
[00:31:47] And then, and then they put a guitar in his hands and he's just going.
[00:31:51] Like that's still there.
[00:31:52] Don't you guys have that though with people now?
[00:31:54] I'll have that where somebody I know so well woke up to me and I'm like, surely your name
[00:31:59] isn't, you know, I don't know anyone caterpillar.
[00:32:02] I don't know.
[00:32:03] Did you live in Nashville?
[00:32:04] Yeah.
[00:32:05] I see they told me that when I got, I didn't realize that.
[00:32:06] You lived there?
[00:32:07] Mm hmm.
[00:32:08] For a year.
[00:32:09] It's the worst place I've ever been.
[00:32:10] Dude, it sucked.
[00:32:11] Actually Portland's worst.
[00:32:12] I decided.
[00:32:13] Really?
[00:32:14] Worst.
[00:32:15] East Nashville is where I lived, which is like where all the musicians and it's like
[00:32:18] the hipster part, which is fun.
[00:32:20] But if you go anywhere near the city.
[00:32:21] Dude, I went down.
[00:32:22] That's why I moved.
[00:32:24] That Broadway, it was like walking through like, it was like I had been in, it was like
[00:32:29] probably what?
[00:32:30] Ground Zero was like a 9-11.
[00:32:32] Yeah.
[00:32:33] Like walking around and it's just fucking like, you know, the emotional equivalent of
[00:32:36] ashes filled with chemicals.
[00:32:38] Did you see the bombing site?
[00:32:40] No, I didn't go there.
[00:32:42] I walked past it with the Racine, but the bombing happened right outside of a Dick's
[00:32:48] last resort restaurant, which is very fun.
[00:32:51] I'm walking down the street, I'm standing next to a souvenir shop in like a shitty barbecue
[00:32:55] restaurant and then one of a million live live ass fucking music.
[00:33:00] Yeah.
[00:33:01] We just like Mustang, Sally, blaring and you know, whatever bullshit.
[00:33:05] And this guy with a fucking backpack on, I'm waiting across the street and he comes up
[00:33:10] and he's like, here we go again.
[00:33:12] And I'm like, I guess.
[00:33:13] And he's like, yeah, the party never stopped.
[00:33:16] I just fucking stopped.
[00:33:18] Just stop.
[00:33:19] God, imagining you there is so good.
[00:33:22] I wish I was there.
[00:33:23] Yeah.
[00:33:24] No, I don't know if I said it on the show, but it gets an hour after that.
[00:33:29] You know, they got those like pedal trolleys.
[00:33:30] Yes, I know the pedal trolleys with the fat girls on them.
[00:33:33] Yes.
[00:33:34] There was a crew of fat women in front of me with the, you know, Looney Tunes cowboy clothes
[00:33:39] on.
[00:33:40] Yeah.
[00:33:41] They're walking down the street.
[00:33:42] The pedal trolley goes by and it's just fat boomers on the pedal trolley.
[00:33:45] And the these women, they're just wooing at everything.
[00:33:47] You know, just like me.
[00:33:50] And so they woo with the pedal trolley and this fucking this like 50 year old guy in gas
[00:33:56] station sunglasses and like the, you know, the goatee 90s goatee looks over.
[00:34:01] He's like, we from Florida, we know how to do this shit.
[00:34:04] And then there's maybe this like brief moment in his face where it's like, am I just like
[00:34:08] cute.
[00:34:09] Yeah, but there, no, it's fine.
[00:34:12] Because you're a Nashville.
[00:34:13] Yeah.
[00:34:14] Everyone's this fucking embarrassing.
[00:34:16] It's crazy.
[00:34:17] I mean, I moved from there.
[00:34:18] I mean, the comedy scene is like too small, but also it's like it has all my best friends
[00:34:24] in that place.
[00:34:25] It was hard to move, but it got to a point where it was like anytime we went out, it
[00:34:28] was like we were going to some honky tongue thing where all the women would dress up as
[00:34:31] prairie wives and all the men would become maladies and like slick their hair back with
[00:34:35] like whatever that shit is called.
[00:34:37] Dapper Dan, you know what I mean?
[00:34:39] Palm made.
[00:34:40] Yeah.
[00:34:41] And it was so gay.
[00:34:42] It was so cringe every time we left our neighborhood that I was like, I don't know how
[00:34:46] you guys are all and people come up and be like, can I have this dance?
[00:34:49] And you're like, how are we civil wars over?
[00:34:52] Right.
[00:34:53] What are we doing here?
[00:34:54] No, that's how you treat a woman.
[00:34:55] But then it's also too.
[00:34:56] It's like Jordan.
[00:34:57] Jordan.
[00:34:58] You're soft.
[00:34:59] There's some our voices.
[00:35:01] Jordan, they're just being no, it's brutal.
[00:35:05] They're just trying to find love and all of us.
[00:35:07] They love bandanas.
[00:35:08] How they get the most worn bandana ever.
[00:35:09] Where do you get those?
[00:35:10] There's no like like like through line with the culture there because they're like, you
[00:35:14] know, they're like ma'am, I hope you're having a nice afternoon.
[00:35:19] And then they're standing in front of like a Patagonia.
[00:35:21] Yeah, they're an app developer.
[00:35:23] Where is suspenders?
[00:35:25] They were when I was there, they said post COVID.
[00:35:28] It just got flooded with LA, Chicago and New York people.
[00:35:33] That's what you know.
[00:35:34] Oh, yeah.
[00:35:35] Those aren't those aren't LA Chicago and New York people because LA Chicago and New York
[00:35:38] people live in LA Chicago or New York.
[00:35:41] No, people that work remotely and don't want to pay estate tax.
[00:35:44] Then those people suck.
[00:35:45] They're people that leave here because they're like New York is New York doesn't have enough
[00:35:49] souvenir shops and fucking, you know, dumb clothes for me to put on.
[00:35:54] Isn't Jack Jack White?
[00:35:55] I was about to say the worst part of Nashville is Jack White.
[00:35:58] I will.
[00:35:59] He listens to this podcast.
[00:36:01] You've you've fucked him?
[00:36:02] My friend that you met the other day, Jack White is listening.
[00:36:04] No, not Jack White.
[00:36:06] Harry.
[00:36:07] I feel but he and all my buddies have worked for Jack White.
[00:36:10] And it's like he is like the cringiest.
[00:36:13] What do you talk about?
[00:36:14] Doofus.
[00:36:15] Have you heard Seven Nation or is bad eyes?
[00:36:17] Listen, I loved my church.
[00:36:18] I don't live there.
[00:36:19] Oh, one time I worked at a taco shop and he came up to the window and we were like,
[00:36:22] we're closed.
[00:36:23] Sorry.
[00:36:24] And he just stood in front of the window.
[00:36:25] I mean, just like waiting and one of us had to go out and be like, I mean, we really
[00:36:29] can't we're not going to like fire up the end the ovens and he like stormed off.
[00:36:34] And he also was like, I don't know, has a monopoly on it.
[00:36:39] So much shit in Nashville that it's it's so strange.
[00:36:42] And didn't he like shit all over Detroit, but then like, went back.
[00:36:46] He's from there.
[00:36:47] Yeah, but didn't he move and he was like, fuck Detroit and then he like went back and like
[00:36:50] I would have met if I was from Detroit, I would never turn my back.
[00:36:54] Detroit's a cool thing.
[00:36:55] Yeah, just because you turn your back.
[00:36:57] Really?
[00:36:58] And I'm finally I'm finally.
[00:36:59] Come on.
[00:37:00] I'm finally.
[00:37:01] I'm sorry.
[00:37:02] I'm sorry.
[00:37:03] I'm not only a Chicago guy.
[00:37:04] Last time I went.
[00:37:05] No way.
[00:37:06] No way.
[00:37:07] Whoa.
[00:37:08] I've been a bunch, but like the last time I went, I was.
[00:37:11] No, really, you don't mind musical comedy and people just the cat in the hat stepping on
[00:37:17] stage and being like, here's my little joke.
[00:37:19] I didn't see any of that.
[00:37:20] So maybe it was just fat New York.
[00:37:23] It's just New York for fat people.
[00:37:25] That would be good.
[00:37:26] But I guess it's just right now.
[00:37:28] I would love it to be fat New York.
[00:37:30] That's ideal.
[00:37:31] I would love that.
[00:37:32] Like I feel like Chicago has the gayest comedy I've ever seen in my life.
[00:37:36] They used to have good comics.
[00:37:38] You know, I mean, it was like a huge scene.
[00:37:40] Totally.
[00:37:41] But the alt doesn't have it should be segregated how it is in New York.
[00:37:45] It's very segregated.
[00:37:46] You say it Union Hall.
[00:37:47] I don't.
[00:37:48] I mean, I know the guys that like I just know fucking Kyle and Dan, the guys at Lincoln
[00:37:53] Lodge.
[00:37:54] Wait, so you're talking about segregation and comedy.
[00:37:56] So you don't think black people and white people should be doing shows together?
[00:38:00] I've been saying this since the 80s.
[00:38:02] They run the light.
[00:38:03] They run the light.
[00:38:05] But they're doing well.
[00:38:06] It is.
[00:38:07] They're almost is there crushing harder than you?
[00:38:10] No, no, there is like a no, but I do the old comedy thing in Chicago where you can be
[00:38:17] doing have all these like traditional standups and then all of a sudden somebody comes up
[00:38:20] with a guitar and it's just it's awful.
[00:38:24] Honestly, I'm a big comedy music apologist.
[00:38:27] Are you really?
[00:38:28] Yeah.
[00:38:29] It's funny.
[00:38:30] Yeah, you're like a nice guy.
[00:38:32] If you write a funny song, it's funny.
[00:38:34] Also is there even that much musical comedy anymore?
[00:38:37] I feel like like 10, 15 years ago that was that shit was fucking everywhere.
[00:38:41] When I was a kid, I like Steven.
[00:38:43] Steven was a little bitch.
[00:38:45] What did you just do?
[00:38:47] I have indigestion.
[00:38:48] He's like, I really like Steven Lynch.
[00:38:54] I haven't been back since you got to go for a while.
[00:38:58] I also was roofing there when I lived there.
[00:39:00] It was there for three months and I was in hell.
[00:39:02] Roofing.
[00:39:03] No, I just had a couple of days where I just fucking I just went for very long walks.
[00:39:07] It's pretty.
[00:39:08] Yeah, I went for a run there and I remember being like, I'm on the beach now.
[00:39:10] I'm in the residential now in the city.
[00:39:12] I wanted to walk to the bar from thief.
[00:39:15] The bar that he owns where he takes phone calls.
[00:39:17] Oh, yeah.
[00:39:18] And then I couldn't add my phone died.
[00:39:19] So I couldn't make it that far.
[00:39:20] But I can't stop thinking about the guy at the bar that you were talking about the other
[00:39:23] night with the sports thing.
[00:39:25] It's so funny.
[00:39:26] Oh, yeah.
[00:39:27] You see that?
[00:39:28] And he was like, yeah, totally.
[00:39:30] What guy?
[00:39:31] I don't even know if I should say it on the show, but me and Steven like, oh, yeah, you
[00:39:34] told me.
[00:39:35] Yeah.
[00:39:36] Yeah.
[00:39:37] Yeah.
[00:39:38] By chance, you know, meet or whatever.
[00:39:40] I can't just.
[00:39:41] It's just the idea of a person just like a liar, just like a self.
[00:39:45] Just like, yeah, just his explanation made sense, but it was just it was so funny in
[00:39:49] the moment.
[00:39:50] Yeah.
[00:39:51] We like I told Steven to meet me at we're like going to go hang out.
[00:39:54] I told him to meet me at Peter McManus on seven tab and it's over here.
[00:39:59] And Steven thought I said Peter McAnus.
[00:40:01] And then I was like, just making fun of Irish bars in general.
[00:40:04] That's funny.
[00:40:05] So it's like 20 minutes go by and like, are you coming or not?
[00:40:07] He's like to where?
[00:40:08] I know it was like Peter McManus.
[00:40:10] He's like, Oh, I thought you said Peter McAnus.
[00:40:12] No, that's a Steve.
[00:40:14] No, that's a Steven.
[00:40:15] So we meet there where he's late and he's like doing a bit too many times.
[00:40:19] We meet there.
[00:40:20] I don't like it's like somebody on like the Broncos or the Seahawks is named to McManus.
[00:40:26] Yeah, Brendan McManus.
[00:40:28] Yeah, and so Steven sees that and he's like, do you fucking see that dude?
[00:40:36] And then he looks over at this guy next to us.
[00:40:37] He's like, did you see that?
[00:40:38] That's by himself drinking.
[00:40:40] And he's like, yes, totally.
[00:40:43] And then Steven's like, what's his name?
[00:40:45] And he's like, I didn't catch it.
[00:40:48] Dude, he is like, that's, that's an insane thing.
[00:40:53] The last time.
[00:40:54] He is the absolute best guy to go to a bar with.
[00:40:57] Yeah, ever.
[00:40:58] Yeah.
[00:40:59] That day where I, where we went to international bar in the middle of the day and we met that
[00:41:05] fucking union plumber and that cop, Steven was just like fucking on peak form.
[00:41:12] Yeah.
[00:41:13] He's incredible.
[00:41:14] I love that guy.
[00:41:15] Have you met Steven?
[00:41:16] Uh-uh.
[00:41:17] Our friend Steven.
[00:41:18] Yeah.
[00:41:19] He's a good dude.
[00:41:20] He looks like Sean Penn.
[00:41:21] He looks exactly like Sean Penn.
[00:41:23] And also the guy from what do you call it, the rush.
[00:41:28] Geddy Lee.
[00:41:29] Yeah, he looks like Geddy Lee and Sean Penn missed.
[00:41:31] Wow.
[00:41:32] An ugly guy and a hot guy.
[00:41:33] Bring him in here.
[00:41:34] Does he edit for you guys?
[00:41:36] Yeah, he does.
[00:41:37] Yeah.
[00:41:38] He does a thing where he thinks of a bit and then he says it 20 times.
[00:41:43] And the bit is always like, let me ask you something.
[00:41:46] What if I started sucking guys dick?
[00:41:48] He's like, well, you guys think it.
[00:41:51] Really?
[00:41:52] If I downloaded the grinder app and I started having gay sex, man.
[00:41:57] So I've been thinking about downloading grinder.
[00:41:59] If I did that, would that be weird?
[00:42:01] Let me run this by you.
[00:42:03] I'm sucking a dick.
[00:42:04] I already did it.
[00:42:06] He's so funny.
[00:42:08] But can I take it back?
[00:42:09] When we were editing that episode of this show, there was a black eye on it and he kept
[00:42:15] turning to me and being like, Adam, is it just me or does he sound exactly like a black?
[00:42:21] That's good.
[00:42:22] And you just said it 15 times.
[00:42:23] I was like, we have to keep editing, dude.
[00:42:25] I get it.
[00:42:26] I get it.
[00:42:27] Let's keep going.
[00:42:28] Yeah.
[00:42:29] No, he'll say things that are funny and they'll just be like annoying.
[00:42:32] Like, I'll do something that's just like kind of annoying and you don't think it's funny
[00:42:35] at the moment and then you'll think about it later.
[00:42:38] And you're like, that's the funniest.
[00:42:39] I forget what it was.
[00:42:41] I went to just a bar and Steven had been there for hours or like he got off work and then
[00:42:49] he just gets drunk.
[00:42:51] He's drunk all the time.
[00:42:52] So I go to the bar and he's there and I walk up to him and he does this like, I forget,
[00:42:58] I wish I could remember, but he just like has this like slack, you know, like affect and
[00:43:03] he's like, oh, give me some, bro.
[00:43:06] Like, does this like, like this, the most annoying, like fucking trying to be cool, you
[00:43:12] know, like boomer or the things he's black sort of thing.
[00:43:15] And then Adam walks up maybe like 30 seconds later and seems like, watch this, watch this.
[00:43:22] He goes up to Adam and does it the exact same way.
[00:43:24] He's like, oh, I'm getting some.
[00:43:27] I've said this on the end.
[00:43:30] I was like, what are you doing?
[00:43:32] And then the next day I just couldn't stop laughing about it.
[00:43:35] Yeah, watch this, watch this.
[00:43:36] And then lay man.
[00:43:37] It's so I what the line was though, and he was too drunk to remember.
[00:43:42] I can't remember what it was, but it was something like, give me some brother.
[00:43:45] Yeah.
[00:43:46] And it was just which is something that you wouldn't remark on.
[00:43:49] Yeah.
[00:43:50] If you walked in.
[00:43:51] But he knows what he's doing.
[00:43:52] He's like, yeah, just the idea of like a late 30s white guy, like 38, 38 year old white
[00:43:57] guy drunk's like thinking he's a cool black guy.
[00:44:00] So he's the best.
[00:44:02] He was my neighbor in bedside and literally like he was like mayor of the block.
[00:44:10] Like literally every like everyone like that stood outside drinking would be like, oh,
[00:44:14] here comes Steven.
[00:44:15] Yeah.
[00:44:16] Oh, there he is.
[00:44:17] Oh, there Steven.
[00:44:18] Where you at Steven?
[00:44:19] We won't be like dapping people up and pointing at them.
[00:44:22] And like really good to see it.
[00:44:24] You were like outside one day and some guy pushing a baby stroller wearing a mask outside
[00:44:32] comes up and he's like, excuse me.
[00:44:34] Are you an actor?
[00:44:36] And Steven's like, I've acted in some stuff.
[00:44:40] He's like, I actually just watched a short with you last night.
[00:44:44] And then we realized it was like it was a fucking super bad.
[00:44:48] It was Michael Sarah.
[00:44:50] It was Michael Sarah.
[00:44:52] And then and he was like, yeah, I thought you were really funny in it.
[00:44:56] And then he like left.
[00:44:57] It's funny to do this like demeaning impression of Michael Sarah.
[00:45:00] Is that the meaning as a high-pand?
[00:45:02] Oh, Michael Sarah is the one who is saying this.
[00:45:03] Yeah, Michael Sarah said it's like LeBron is like, are you a basketball player?
[00:45:07] Real quick.
[00:45:08] I should mention blue, too.
[00:45:09] We'll get back to that.
[00:45:10] I guess your dick card Jordan likes it when guys take it.
[00:45:12] I don't like it.
[00:45:13] That's too sharp.
[00:45:14] It's too sharp to poke.
[00:45:17] Yeah.
[00:45:18] Yeah.
[00:45:19] Yeah, bluechoo.com promo code come town.
[00:45:22] You don't have to go to the doctor and tell a doctor that your dick doesn't work.
[00:45:28] You did that or Nick?
[00:45:29] Me.
[00:45:30] That's a guy.
[00:45:31] Yeah.
[00:45:32] A girl.
[00:45:33] I can do it.
[00:45:34] Anyway, so like my Sarah's doing fuck up the reeds.
[00:45:36] Michael Sarah walks off and then like there's this lady on his blog.
[00:45:43] I forgot a Dina or I forgot her name.
[00:45:45] And she has like this pin on her jacket, Blacksford Trump.
[00:45:49] And and he's like, yo, you're not going to believe this.
[00:45:51] But like Michael Sarah just like asked me if I'm an actor.
[00:45:57] And she's like, I don't know who daddy is.
[00:45:59] And he's like, uh, you know, Scott Pilgrim.
[00:46:01] Oh my God.
[00:46:02] And she's like, Oh, my boyfriend love him.
[00:46:08] Holy shit.
[00:46:09] He was amazing.
[00:46:10] He sounds like he should do stand up if he's running bad bits over and over and over.
[00:46:12] No, he's not.
[00:46:13] He's too funny.
[00:46:14] He's more.
[00:46:15] Yeah.
[00:46:16] He's more fun.
[00:46:17] He's like, he's a guy that's like a funny guy to hang out with.
[00:46:18] Yeah.
[00:46:19] Stand up would make him less funny.
[00:46:20] Yeah, exactly.
[00:46:21] Yeah.
[00:46:22] Stand up comedy is for the most part not.
[00:46:25] It's like bridging the gap between guys like that and then just fucking retard.
[00:46:29] I bet it'd be good if you keep burying a reason to be good at it.
[00:46:33] Yeah.
[00:46:34] Yeah.
[00:46:35] There is no reason to be good.
[00:46:36] Yeah.
[00:46:37] It's fun to do on stage where you just keep pushing.
[00:46:38] I went with an audience.
[00:46:39] I just kept trying to convince him my name was scam likely for the whole and I wouldn't
[00:46:44] they didn't like it at all.
[00:46:45] And I just kept me like I've been trying to get a hold of you guys for a really long
[00:46:47] time.
[00:46:48] Scam likely is like probably the name of like half the men in Nashville.
[00:46:51] Yeah.
[00:46:52] Yeah.
[00:46:53] Totally.
[00:46:54] My name is scam.
[00:46:55] My name is scam likely.
[00:46:56] You did that at the world famous comedy seller.
[00:47:01] Yeah.
[00:47:02] You did.
[00:47:03] Yeah, it did.
[00:47:04] Do you know who books it or?
[00:47:06] Yeah.
[00:47:07] Could I send a taper?
[00:47:08] Yeah, yeah.
[00:47:09] Send tape to me and I'll send it over.
[00:47:10] I would love to go there have a bite of the pizza.
[00:47:13] Not finish it.
[00:47:14] Put it in garbage.
[00:47:16] Bluechoo.com is the item.
[00:47:18] Why don't you talk about it for a second?
[00:47:19] It's a place where guys, not me, but guys that have erectile dysfunction can order medication
[00:47:27] to make their penises hard.
[00:47:28] But they don't call it erectile dysfunction anymore.
[00:47:31] That's for boomers you take Viagra.
[00:47:33] What do they say?
[00:47:34] If you're a millennial or potentially the zoomers might even be on dick pills now.
[00:47:37] They are.
[00:47:38] What's coming after zoomers?
[00:47:39] They are.
[00:47:40] Um, I don't know.
[00:47:43] Um, fucking babies.
[00:47:47] My girlfriend's brother is 25 and he hit me up.
[00:47:52] It was like, do you have any chews?
[00:47:54] And I was like, what?
[00:47:55] You're 25.
[00:47:56] Do you even have fucking pubes, dude?
[00:47:58] Why are you taking bluechoo?
[00:48:00] No, I don't.
[00:48:01] At 25 years old.
[00:48:02] Not you.
[00:48:03] I think you know what it is.
[00:48:04] I'm the guy next to you.
[00:48:05] You know what I think it is?
[00:48:06] I don't want to be too 5G truther.
[00:48:08] It's these damn cell phones in your pocket.
[00:48:10] No, it's neurosis.
[00:48:12] No, it microwaves your, uh, your Jones.
[00:48:15] No, I think it's, yeah.
[00:48:17] It's just, uh, I don't think people used to fuck as much as people do now.
[00:48:21] No, no, people have always saw that.
[00:48:23] That's not true.
[00:48:24] People stop fucking.
[00:48:25] I don't know.
[00:48:26] No, it's true.
[00:48:27] I know.
[00:48:28] I think they would just do it, make it count when they did it.
[00:48:29] I've taken bluechoo and it's like, I guess I need this, but then it's also like, do I
[00:48:33] even want to fuck right now?
[00:48:35] And it's like, no, not really.
[00:48:36] No, in particular.
[00:48:37] No, people are less horny.
[00:48:39] Yeah.
[00:48:40] That's why we have these mass shooters these days.
[00:48:43] Oh, maybe it's the SSRIs.
[00:48:44] They don't feel like they're part of a community.
[00:48:47] They're not going out to get pussy.
[00:48:48] Bluechoo.com though.
[00:48:50] Yeah.
[00:48:51] If you do like sex, you'll love bluechoo.com.
[00:48:53] That's their classic line.
[00:48:55] Uh, they got Tidalafil, uh, fucking, Sildenafil, Vardenafil.
[00:49:04] That's, they added Vardenafil.
[00:49:05] Yeah.
[00:49:06] That's Levitra.
[00:49:07] Levitra.
[00:49:08] And Staxon.
[00:49:09] What's that?
[00:49:10] Hard time taking pills.
[00:49:11] Up to 40% of Americans agree.
[00:49:12] I guess maybe they have another option now.
[00:49:14] Nope.
[00:49:15] I mean, I'm not going to get into it at NIH.
[00:49:17] Um, this just tells you how to take pills.
[00:49:20] Oh, no, it's because bluechoo is chewable.
[00:49:22] Uh, it's a candy.
[00:49:25] It's a candy.
[00:49:26] They taste like smarties.
[00:49:27] 100% US licensed medical providers.
[00:49:29] It's kind of a blueberry flavor.
[00:49:30] Prescription, consultation, professional ED focused medical support, no waiting rooms,
[00:49:37] no appointments, 30 slash 45 milligrams.
[00:49:40] So then a Phil six or nine milligrams Tidalafil or eight milligrams of Vardenafil, chewable
[00:49:45] tablets.
[00:49:46] Um, they got three plans.
[00:49:48] The active, the busy, the popular and the pro.
[00:49:51] Uh, I have the pro plan.
[00:49:54] The active one is six times a month busy.
[00:49:57] It's 10 times a month.
[00:49:58] Popular is 17 times a month and pro is 34 times a month.
[00:50:02] So that's more than the days in the month.
[00:50:06] And you can get, you can get 45 milligrams.
[00:50:08] You think the guys who came quicker, also the guys who can't get hard?
[00:50:12] Huh?
[00:50:13] The guys who used to come quick, you think they now can't get hard?
[00:50:17] Uh, I don't know if that's related.
[00:50:19] Well, that's not.
[00:50:21] I think maybe they can't get hard guys last longer, no?
[00:50:24] Well, the getting hard really fast guys may become.
[00:50:27] It just seems like the guys that I used to fuck who would come really quick are the same
[00:50:30] type of guys that I fuck.
[00:50:32] Oh, brag.
[00:50:33] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:50:34] The troves of men that I fuck can't get hard.
[00:50:37] Yeah.
[00:50:38] It's the same.
[00:50:39] They're Jewish.
[00:50:40] It's mostly Jewish.
[00:50:41] What do you mean?
[00:50:42] They can't get hard.
[00:50:43] Yeah, there's like no, no, no, no, I want to mine that talk on this show.
[00:50:47] There's a little, there's a little neuroses.
[00:50:49] First of all, first of all, we are disgusting horny, lascivious, monster.
[00:50:53] Yes, this is true.
[00:50:54] That actually is also true.
[00:50:55] We don't have the fact that Harvey Weinstein's his genitals were burned off and he was still
[00:51:01] trying to get.
[00:51:02] Not only it's trying to get pussy, but raping.
[00:51:04] Yeah.
[00:51:05] I mean, that's like you got to be, then you got to be spiritually.
[00:51:08] Wait, his genitals were burned off?
[00:51:09] Yeah.
[00:51:10] He was, he would eat.
[00:51:11] He'd be like, come to my house.
[00:51:12] What happened to his channel?
[00:51:14] He got some kind of, Stephen explained it to me actually.
[00:51:16] He was getting too many experimental shots and stuff.
[00:51:19] Yeah.
[00:51:20] He graduated to like, just like the, like injectable Viagra or whatever.
[00:51:26] Wow.
[00:51:27] And it melted his dick off?
[00:51:29] He got some infection that, yeah, it's a type of gangrene.
[00:51:31] You can get little.
[00:51:32] I wonder if that's what the whole thing was behind Planet Terror.
[00:51:35] You know what I mean?
[00:51:36] What's that?
[00:51:37] Bruce Willis's dick melts off the zombie.
[00:51:39] I've never seen that.
[00:51:40] I don't like scary movies.
[00:51:42] Oh, that's a great, great movie.
[00:51:43] And what is that movie called?
[00:51:44] Die not so hard.
[00:51:45] Nice to hear about it.
[00:51:46] Nice to hear.
[00:51:47] Very good.
[00:51:48] Nice, brother.
[00:51:49] And I'm retired.
[00:51:50] Okay.
[00:51:51] So, so, Jordan, you recently started fucking Chinese men.
[00:51:54] I did, yes.
[00:51:55] Yeah.
[00:51:56] We, all right.
[00:51:57] Well, let's get into it.
[00:51:58] Mainland China or Taiwan?
[00:51:59] Mainlining Chinese.
[00:52:01] Yeah.
[00:52:03] And where do you stand on the, the Hong Kong issue?
[00:52:07] The long-dong issue?
[00:52:09] I'm in on it.
[00:52:10] Nice, bro.
[00:52:11] Thank you.
[00:52:12] That's very Hong Kong.
[00:52:13] Yeah.
[00:52:14] What's going on in Hong Kong now?
[00:52:15] Yeah, what is going on in Hong Kong?
[00:52:17] What's going on?
[00:52:18] Who's burning these hegibs?
[00:52:19] What's going on?
[00:52:20] I ran.
[00:52:21] Right?
[00:52:22] They're burning bright brownies?
[00:52:24] Yeah.
[00:52:25] What do you mean?
[00:52:27] The women are burning them in protest?
[00:52:29] You guys don't know anything about this?
[00:52:30] All I know right this week is Nord Stream 2 pipeline.
[00:52:33] No, I don't follow the girl news.
[00:52:36] And the, yeah, I only read economic news.
[00:52:39] Yeah.
[00:52:40] I don't either.
[00:52:41] I'm a quarter podcast today.
[00:52:42] She accidentally said the N word for something.
[00:52:44] You're a mom.
[00:52:45] Well, there's some word that has it in it that means like needling.
[00:52:50] I forget what the word was.
[00:52:52] It niggardly.
[00:52:53] Well, that means cheap.
[00:52:54] No.
[00:52:55] Niggardly is like stingy.
[00:52:57] Yeah.
[00:52:58] Yeah, stingy.
[00:52:59] But there's a politician who got in trouble for saying it.
[00:53:00] There was a professor that got in trouble for saying it.
[00:53:02] I remember it was like 50, it was before the world was waiting.
[00:53:05] It wasn't cheap.
[00:53:06] It was meddling.
[00:53:07] It was like niggling.
[00:53:08] Yeah.
[00:53:09] Maybe I think it was that.
[00:53:11] And we like paused me.
[00:53:12] What did you say?
[00:53:13] And she went, I think I just said the N word.
[00:53:14] Yeah.
[00:53:15] Was this your mom's funny?
[00:53:16] Yeah, she's very funny.
[00:53:17] Yeah.
[00:53:18] Yeah.
[00:53:19] All this stuff I know about her is very funny.
[00:53:20] Well, every word is like some guy just said it at one point.
[00:53:23] Yeah.
[00:53:24] Yeah.
[00:53:25] So some guy was like, yeah, I got this fucking niggling thing in my knee.
[00:53:28] Yeah.
[00:53:29] Yeah.
[00:53:30] And somebody was like, oh, is that a word?
[00:53:31] And he's like, yeah.
[00:53:32] And he's like, did you, did you just mean like the N word?
[00:53:34] He's like, no, it's different.
[00:53:35] You know what I'm talking about.
[00:53:37] Yeah.
[00:53:38] It's like, and he's got like a cousin at the dictionary.
[00:53:40] And he's like, bro, I need a solid.
[00:53:42] Yeah.
[00:53:43] Yeah.
[00:53:44] Yeah.
[00:53:45] I got fucked up and work.
[00:53:46] The next edition.
[00:53:47] Hey cousin Webster, I need some help here.
[00:53:49] Renag, I thought that was it was one of them, but it's not.
[00:53:53] Let's renegotiate.
[00:53:54] Oh, I never thought that.
[00:53:56] No.
[00:53:57] Has another word.
[00:53:58] No.
[00:53:59] Just doesn't like it.
[00:54:01] Somebody's screaming jigger when I was on stage the other night.
[00:54:05] Why?
[00:54:06] Well, I was in Florida and these people were 150,000 years old.
[00:54:08] They were shit-housed.
[00:54:10] At one point I said to that guy, I was like,
[00:54:12] what's going on with you dude?
[00:54:13] I was like, what did they let Biden in here?
[00:54:15] And the crowd erupted in a way that shocked me
[00:54:18] because of how dead they have been.
[00:54:20] Yeah, it was good.
[00:54:21] In New York?
[00:54:22] Fuck him!
[00:54:23] Fuck him for being the same as me.
[00:54:25] Key West, Key West.
[00:54:26] In New York.
[00:54:27] Oh Key West.
[00:54:28] Yeah.
[00:54:29] That's so sick.
[00:54:30] What's it like down there?
[00:54:30] Great place.
[00:54:31] The worst audiences, but great.
[00:54:33] Really?
[00:54:34] Yeah, yeah, rules.
[00:54:34] Jimmy Buffett vibes.
[00:54:36] Tommy Buffett.
[00:54:37] It's like you want to kill yourself
[00:54:38] and there's an iguana.
[00:54:40] Also hanging himself in the sea.
[00:54:42] That's what it's like.
[00:54:42] That's what they say in Key West.
[00:54:44] You want to kill yourself or just wait five minutes?
[00:54:46] Yeah.
[00:54:47] So we're pretty close to death down here.
[00:54:50] Adam, are you going to be a Florida guy?
[00:54:52] I want to move to Miami so bad.
[00:54:54] Yeah.
[00:54:54] Yeah, I love it.
[00:54:55] I'm never going to leave this.
[00:54:56] It's my favorite city in America, by far.
[00:54:59] Miami.
[00:55:00] Really?
[00:55:00] Yeah.
[00:55:01] Why?
[00:55:02] It's great.
[00:55:03] What about it?
[00:55:04] I like that it's built.
[00:55:08] It's a Catholic in Jewish city, much like Montreal.
[00:55:12] Yeah, that sounds great.
[00:55:14] I'm sold.
[00:55:16] If I'm planning a vacation, I'm like.
[00:55:17] OK, that shouldn't have been the first fact.
[00:55:19] That shouldn't have been the first fact.
[00:55:21] What do I like about this place?
[00:55:23] Well, it's Catholic in Jewish.
[00:55:26] What's wrong with that?
[00:55:28] It's just a bazaar.
[00:55:31] Yeah, it is a hot.
[00:55:33] Jordan, are you Catholic?
[00:55:34] No.
[00:55:35] You're not?
[00:55:36] Uh-oh.
[00:55:37] You might be my only non-Catholic or Jewish friend.
[00:55:39] Really?
[00:55:39] Yeah.
[00:55:40] No.
[00:55:40] And it's not on purpose.
[00:55:41] We weren't allowed to have Christmas trees.
[00:55:43] You're that?
[00:55:44] Yeah, I am.
[00:55:45] No, but like you're fam, like you're like the old.
[00:55:49] Oh, yeah, yeah.
[00:55:50] They're kind of Italian.
[00:55:51] Yeah, of course.
[00:55:52] Why is your failure not allowed to have Christmas trees?
[00:55:54] Because they were like militant.
[00:55:56] My dad was like a hippie and my mom was a little bit.
[00:55:57] But that doesn't mean you're not cat.
[00:55:59] Yes, yes.
[00:56:00] You're a Catholic.
[00:56:01] What I'm saying is, and it's not on purpose, all the people
[00:56:04] I'm friends with are either Catholic or Jewish.
[00:56:07] As opposed to what?
[00:56:08] Lutheran?
[00:56:09] Yeah, the more.
[00:56:10] Proper American.
[00:56:11] Yeah, like the Anglo-Saxon.
[00:56:13] Proper American.
[00:56:14] Yeah.
[00:56:15] Mormons.
[00:56:16] I mean, most of this country is Protestant.
[00:56:21] I grew up with a ton of Mormons.
[00:56:22] Did you really?
[00:56:23] Yeah.
[00:56:24] I keep laughing at myself, but a joke,
[00:56:26] I tried where my mom wanted to be Mormon.
[00:56:28] Or she wanted to be Amish, really?
[00:56:29] And I think it's just one of them.
[00:56:30] She wanted multiple wives.
[00:56:32] She was like, more man, more like more woman.
[00:56:35] That's funny.
[00:56:36] Yeah, thank you.
[00:56:37] What is with their commitment to having the worst facial hair
[00:56:39] in the world?
[00:56:40] Mormons?
[00:56:40] No, the Amish.
[00:56:42] Oh.
[00:56:42] They just don't shave.
[00:56:43] Do you know, zippers or high-tech?
[00:56:44] Yeah, but they just go the full.
[00:56:46] You could have a, if they had the mustache,
[00:56:48] it wouldn't be that weird.
[00:56:50] But they're patchy.
[00:56:51] They're basically British people.
[00:56:53] No, German.
[00:56:54] They're Dutch.
[00:56:55] Yeah, they're German.
[00:56:56] Yeah, Dutch.
[00:56:57] German.
[00:56:57] Pennsylvania Dutch.
[00:56:58] You've never seen it.
[00:56:59] Yeah, Dutch and German.
[00:57:00] Oh, yes you have.
[00:57:01] Yeah, the British love technology.
[00:57:04] They would never do something like the Amish.
[00:57:06] Yeah.
[00:57:06] We're anglophiles and zinus on the show.
[00:57:09] The British will never breach equilibrium
[00:57:11] with the world around them.
[00:57:12] The British?
[00:57:13] Yeah.
[00:57:14] What does that mean?
[00:57:15] Well, you wouldn't have a community of British people
[00:57:17] that are like, oh, we're good.
[00:57:18] We're not going to take up any more resources.
[00:57:23] Those are our cousins, man.
[00:57:25] What do you mean?
[00:57:25] The British.
[00:57:26] OK.
[00:57:27] I'll lay off them.
[00:57:28] Sorry.
[00:57:28] Yeah.
[00:57:29] Give them a break.
[00:57:30] I will.
[00:57:31] I'll give the British a break.
[00:57:32] They've had a hard year.
[00:57:34] I know.
[00:57:34] I miss her.
[00:57:35] She was beautiful.
[00:57:37] She was gorgeous.
[00:57:38] This other guy's going to die.
[00:57:39] Charles?
[00:57:40] Probably immediately.
[00:57:42] Oh, no.
[00:57:43] Who becomes King?
[00:57:44] Harry?
[00:57:45] No, no.
[00:57:46] The other one, William.
[00:57:48] William.
[00:57:48] But I'm all in on Charles, dude.
[00:57:50] Let's go.
[00:57:51] Chuck.
[00:57:52] Let's go.
[00:57:52] No, I don't care.
[00:57:54] My dad is like low key a royalist.
[00:57:57] I don't understand the royalist.
[00:57:58] I don't understand what it is.
[00:57:59] Well, he was like born.
[00:58:01] When he was born, I think he was.
[00:58:02] I think he run out of TV shows.
[00:58:04] When he was born, I think it was still part of the British
[00:58:07] empire.
[00:58:07] That's how I forgot that.
[00:58:08] It is cool that England has a king again, though.
[00:58:11] Yeah, thank God.
[00:58:12] Yeah, fine.
[00:58:13] What we had.
[00:58:13] God.
[00:58:14] Our international nightmares over.
[00:58:15] Well, no.
[00:58:17] All of this progressive stuff tracks
[00:58:19] when you got the head estate in the country that basically
[00:58:25] their culture was exported to the rest of the world.
[00:58:28] They might not be a superpower anymore.
[00:58:30] But now that they have a king, everything
[00:58:33] is a cultural basis.
[00:58:34] It's so funny.
[00:58:35] Then maybe.
[00:58:36] Yeah, go ahead.
[00:58:37] Yeah, maybe now things become more reactionary, more
[00:58:42] traditional women aren't allowed to work.
[00:58:43] The boys are back in town.
[00:58:45] Literally, yeah.
[00:58:46] That might happen.
[00:58:47] Let's go, Charles.
[00:58:48] Yeah.
[00:58:48] No, it's so funny that those guys on that shitty island,
[00:58:53] those pasty, weird guys literally owned everything.
[00:58:58] It is.
[00:58:59] They own the entire world.
[00:59:02] But a lot of the stuff they owned was mostly empty.
[00:59:06] India?
[00:59:07] Well, Australia.
[00:59:07] That's like the most people.
[00:59:09] Australia.
[00:59:11] They own the entire party.
[00:59:13] How did they take over boats?
[00:59:14] Yeah, how did they do that?
[00:59:15] Boats.
[00:59:16] No, but what happened?
[00:59:17] Did India have?
[00:59:19] They master and commandored it.
[00:59:21] Well, that was after the Napoleonic Wars,
[00:59:24] and then they didn't do anything.
[00:59:25] Like Britain had.
[00:59:26] Were they just sick at boats?
[00:59:28] Well, yeah.
[00:59:29] It was kind of the British Navy that I get from watching.
[00:59:32] From the first 30 seconds of master and command.
[00:59:34] So fired, dude.
[00:59:36] Who crossed the Rubicon?
[00:59:37] Was that Napoleon?
[00:59:38] No, that's Hannibal.
[00:59:39] Jeep.
[00:59:40] Oh, maybe Hannibal.
[00:59:41] Was that right?
[00:59:42] I don't even know.
[00:59:42] No, no, Caesar.
[00:59:44] And then what happened?
[00:59:44] Caesar did that.
[00:59:45] And then what's in between then?
[00:59:46] Dude, I'm so stupid.
[00:59:47] Me too.
[00:59:48] I've tried to.
[00:59:48] But being a woman makes me feel really smart.
[00:59:51] Yeah.
[00:59:52] You probably don't know shit.
[00:59:53] Just a fact that I'm here.
[00:59:54] You don't know who she is.
[00:59:55] Just the proximity?
[00:59:56] You're just in bed with a Chinese guy,
[00:59:57] like fingering his chest.
[00:59:59] Like, so tell me about math.
[01:00:02] Well, you got a wall, a tool.
[01:00:05] Fingering his chest just made me want to faint.
[01:00:07] Just wearing a mask.
[01:00:08] I don't know.
[01:00:08] Just don't.
[01:00:09] You're just throwing it in.
[01:00:10] You pull it.
[01:00:10] Fingering his chest.
[01:00:11] Jordan.
[01:00:12] And then they got this other shit called Long Division.
[01:00:16] You draw a little L shape.
[01:00:17] You put a big number on the E for your fucker.
[01:00:20] The smaller one.
[01:00:21] Yeah, it's pretty complicated.
[01:00:22] But to me, it's like fucking.
[01:00:24] Here's a go.
[01:00:24] You get to Cholo.
[01:00:26] You're going to Cholo.
[01:00:27] They taught.
[01:00:28] They got a similar.
[01:00:29] That's the East Coast Cholo is New York Chinese guy.
[01:00:31] That's so good.
[01:00:32] You keep doing it.
[01:00:34] OK.
[01:00:37] Pretty nice weather we have lately, huh?
[01:00:40] Pretty cool weather.
[01:00:42] Finally fall in New York City.
[01:00:46] When fall comes around you and I'm ready for.
[01:00:49] Wearing the same bubble vest.
[01:00:50] I've been wearing all fucking year long
[01:00:52] and playing mahjong under the laundromand.
[01:00:54] They also love fishing stuff.
[01:00:56] They love like tackle vest.
[01:00:57] Yeah.
[01:00:58] How do you have Chinese twang in the back?
[01:01:02] How do you keep that?
[01:01:04] Because I lived with those guys for years.
[01:01:06] Nick was thinking about converting for a while.
[01:01:09] Yeah, they all dress like John Malkovich
[01:01:12] in Empire of the Sun.
[01:01:14] That's their look.
[01:01:17] OK.
[01:01:17] Oh my god.
[01:01:19] You have the Chinese going up and down.
[01:01:24] What is tied?
[01:01:24] Yeah, my number one guy is John Malkovich in Empire of the Sun.
[01:01:29] You will see that's a good fucking movie.
[01:01:33] Dude, I just watched Rush Hour again.
[01:01:35] Rush Hour is a great.
[01:01:36] Incredible.
[01:01:37] Christian Bale, Christian Bale, a little boy in there.
[01:01:39] Incredible.
[01:01:42] Christian Bale is in that movie.
[01:01:43] Yeah, it's him as like a he's like 12 or her handsome.
[01:01:47] Really?
[01:01:47] He's a handsome child.
[01:01:50] Yeah, why can't all movies just be Rush Hour?
[01:01:52] Just two guys in different races trying
[01:01:55] to figure something out?
[01:01:56] When you're like Chinese people always keep their cool.
[01:01:59] They dress.
[01:01:59] And Chris Jurgers like, I see you all during Godzilla.
[01:02:01] You all be tripping.
[01:02:02] What is this?
[01:02:03] That's John Malkovich in Empire of the Sun.
[01:02:05] That's how it does Chinese.
[01:02:05] Oh, no, that's like Korean.
[01:02:08] No, no, no, no.
[01:02:09] Korean is like has like an 80s synth thing.
[01:02:13] I like the Korean guys.
[01:02:14] Sometimes they just hang out together.
[01:02:16] They're smoking cigarettes.
[01:02:17] They love bogeys.
[01:02:18] They love busting sakes.
[01:02:20] Yeah, they're so good.
[01:02:22] In my college, like outside the library,
[01:02:25] it was just 24 hours a day.
[01:02:26] Korean dudes smoking sakes.
[01:02:29] Yeah, there's always some neon light behind them
[01:02:31] or something, some like fog machine near them
[01:02:33] with like a cool scooter.
[01:02:35] They always look really cool.
[01:02:36] You know what the best thing that ever came out
[01:02:38] of the old podcast?
[01:02:42] You know, like I said, I got a lot of advice.
[01:02:45] But there was a movie I saw one time as a kid that had one scene
[01:02:50] in it.
[01:02:51] I'd never been able to find the movie again.
[01:02:53] But it was like seared into my memory.
[01:02:55] It's like a South African movie and a kid
[01:02:58] gets like put in some kind of like camp
[01:03:00] and then he gets pissed on or whatever by other people.
[01:03:03] I had an Adam Preeland movie.
[01:03:04] Yeah, fucking me up as a kid.
[01:03:06] And then I was like, I couldn't remember the movie what.
[01:03:08] Someone found it?
[01:03:09] Somebody found it and sent it to me.
[01:03:10] You know the power of one.
[01:03:13] Oh yeah, that was about like racism, right?
[01:03:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:03:16] The best thing that came out of the old podcast for me,
[01:03:20] during COVID, I went home because my mom was dying.
[01:03:23] And I would do video podcast.
[01:03:27] And I would do in my dad's office,
[01:03:29] there was a picture of his father's older brother
[01:03:32] who died in the Second World War.
[01:03:34] Like it's like military photo.
[01:03:37] And Nick's like, who's that fucking gay?
[01:03:40] You know, whatever.
[01:03:41] And I was like, that's probably the only hero that's ever
[01:03:43] been in my family tree.
[01:03:44] But he was like, shot down by the Nazis over Crete.
[01:03:47] And I was like, some guy looked up his records.
[01:03:53] Like it was all family legend.
[01:03:55] And we didn't really know what the story was.
[01:03:58] Some guy that was listening to the pod looked up his records.
[01:04:00] And like, for the first time in my dad's entire life,
[01:04:03] my dad was named after him.
[01:04:04] It's my father's name's name's name's name, Max Fretland.
[01:04:08] But we saw where he was stationed.
[01:04:10] We saw when he was shot down.
[01:04:12] Don't condone this.
[01:04:14] Why? It was nice. It's lovely.
[01:04:15] Oh my god.
[01:04:16] That's like a lovely thing for my entire family.
[01:04:18] My dad was like, he was like, isn't that incredible?
[01:04:21] He's like, Adam's podcast.
[01:04:24] Like literally.
[01:04:25] His phone's ringing.
[01:04:25] And somebody's like, hey, faggot.
[01:04:28] Hey, you're gay, dude.
[01:04:29] You're gay.
[01:04:30] Your son's gay.
[01:04:31] Your son's gay.
[01:04:32] Come on, come on.
[01:04:33] Hello, you're faggot.
[01:04:34] You're even gayer than your gay son's gay.
[01:04:36] No, I don't like that.
[01:04:37] I mean, that's great.
[01:04:38] But I hate somebody was like, is your father Jack Jensen
[01:04:40] and I was like, yeah.
[01:04:41] And he was like, oh, so he died at this time,
[01:04:44] on this day and this way.
[01:04:45] And it was just like a fan.
[01:04:47] Is that the acoustic guitar guy?
[01:04:49] Jack Jensen?
[01:04:51] No.
[01:04:52] Jack.
[01:04:53] Jack Johnson.
[01:04:53] Jack Johnson.
[01:04:54] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:04:55] I'm sorry.
[01:04:56] My dad is Dave Matthews.
[01:04:58] That's cool.
[01:04:59] Oh, I can see that.
[01:05:00] Yeah, I really love Dave Matthews.
[01:05:01] Oh, your dad has a British accent.
[01:05:03] My dad's from South Africa.
[01:05:04] South Africa.
[01:05:05] Oh, he is South Africa.
[01:05:05] But he has African.
[01:05:06] He code switches.
[01:05:07] Does he really?
[01:05:08] When he's like, once people take him seriously,
[01:05:10] he does a fake posh British accent.
[01:05:13] And it literally is like nails on a chalkboard.
[01:05:17] It drives me insane.
[01:05:18] Really?
[01:05:19] He's like, my good self.
[01:05:21] Oh, wow.
[01:05:21] He completely changes his accent.
[01:05:24] I'm like, you're at the bank right now.
[01:05:25] You don't have to be doing this right now.
[01:05:27] From you think some people.
[01:05:29] From South Africa.
[01:05:29] You think that people in America.
[01:05:31] What's going to happen with the bank?
[01:05:32] They're like, here's some more money.
[01:05:34] Yeah.
[01:05:35] Yeah.
[01:05:36] I didn't realize you were British.
[01:05:37] But that's not.
[01:05:38] They have code switching.
[01:05:40] I mean, that's literally doing an impression.
[01:05:43] He has a fake posh accent that he affects sometimes.
[01:05:47] And he was doing it at my birthday party.
[01:05:49] Do you remember?
[01:05:50] Yeah.
[01:05:51] I heard him start popping off in his Etonian British thing.
[01:05:57] And I was like, I hate this so much.
[01:05:59] And all my friends are like, you're the fucking man, dude.
[01:06:03] He was getting wasted with all the photos.
[01:06:05] Yeah, that's the worst for you, dad.
[01:06:06] It becomes like a caricature.
[01:06:07] We had a party where I got way too high.
[01:06:09] And people were just like, your dad rules.
[01:06:11] And I'm like, he's having a panic attack.
[01:06:14] No, it was actually like that night
[01:06:15] was like one of the most lovely nights.
[01:06:18] Yeah, it's good.
[01:06:19] All my friends were being so nice to him.
[01:06:21] That's great.
[01:06:22] Somebody's going to be mean to a senior citizen.
[01:06:25] No one in this country understands him.
[01:06:28] And it was like the first time I saw people just being
[01:06:31] like, you're the man.
[01:06:33] And it broke my heart to even think about it.
[01:06:36] I had to like, he came to the club.
[01:06:38] He came to the bar after I set up a hang at the apartment.
[01:06:41] And I was like, we'll go to the bar later.
[01:06:43] You'll go back to the hotel.
[01:06:45] And he came through the bar.
[01:06:47] And he was like, drink it with the boys.
[01:06:49] Just grabbing hands.
[01:06:50] I was like, that's great.
[01:06:51] It's a beautiful story.
[01:06:52] Yeah, it's really lovely.
[01:06:53] Did he code switch the whole time?
[01:06:54] Or did he drag?
[01:06:55] The late Jack Knight also said, suck my dick to him,
[01:06:59] which was very funny.
[01:07:00] I got his last word.
[01:07:01] And my dad started laughing.
[01:07:03] And he was very dumb.
[01:07:04] That's good. That's good. That's quite good.
[01:07:06] I was thinking about the Jack Knight thing
[01:07:07] and how everybody was getting mad
[01:07:09] because people were making these posts.
[01:07:10] And they were like, he wasn't even friends with them.
[01:07:12] He wasn't even friends with them.
[01:07:13] And I was like, that is the most evidence
[01:07:16] that I have that human beings are inherently evil.
[01:07:18] The fact that people post things.
[01:07:19] And we're like, that's my fucking corpse.
[01:07:22] That's why I dead God.
[01:07:23] You know what I mean?
[01:07:24] I did the same thing.
[01:07:25] Someone dies and people post their last text messages
[01:07:28] with them.
[01:07:29] Brandon Wardell did that with a Mac Miller.
[01:07:32] He was like, he's like, love you dog.
[01:07:36] I mean, it's touching, I guess.
[01:07:37] I did that with Anthony Bourdain.
[01:07:39] I posted it.
[01:07:40] We'd never communicated, but he followed you on Twitter.
[01:07:42] And so I posted that.
[01:07:43] I was like, none of you will ever know what this feels like.
[01:07:47] Now, he's done following.
[01:07:49] He'll never follow anyone else again.
[01:07:51] So if you weren't in the club.
[01:07:53] Yeah.
[01:07:53] Sorry.
[01:07:54] Yeah.
[01:07:54] Guess who's never going to be followed by Anthony Bourdain?
[01:07:57] You.
[01:07:58] But I was until Twitter deleted my account.
[01:08:01] The day, the day he died, the day he died, the day he died,
[01:08:04] the day he waited a day.
[01:08:05] I think I did it immediately.
[01:08:06] Yeah.
[01:08:06] That's so funny.
[01:08:07] I don't care.
[01:08:08] I was talking about that comic who died where I kept,
[01:08:10] I didn't know who it was, but I kept saying his name over
[01:08:13] and over in my house.
[01:08:14] Raghav.
[01:08:15] Oh, I didn't.
[01:08:15] I couldn't stop.
[01:08:16] What?
[01:08:16] He's got a funny name.
[01:08:17] I would just, my roommate would walk in.
[01:08:19] I'd be like, oh, Raghav Mehta.
[01:08:21] Then they'd be like, what?
[01:08:22] And I'd be like, I'm hungry.
[01:08:23] And then he died.
[01:08:24] And I was like, did I?
[01:08:27] I did a really, I did a, I feel bad.
[01:08:30] But you remember those four comics died of fentanyl in LA?
[01:08:34] Yeah.
[01:08:35] And then people were like four, four comics have died.
[01:08:39] And I was like, were they, were they, they weren't that
[01:08:41] popping?
[01:08:42] Like they weren't, and then I was like, oh God, I'm like,
[01:08:45] I'm an asshole.
[01:08:46] Who'd you say that to?
[01:08:47] My parents.
[01:08:48] So that's me.
[01:08:49] They were like, I heard four of your friends die.
[01:08:52] He didn't regret it enough not to repeat it.
[01:08:54] Not to say it on the show.
[01:08:55] Thinking that it would pop here.
[01:08:58] Can you cut that? Can you please go?
[01:09:00] Sure.
[01:09:00] It's the Adam pre-lucio.
[01:09:01] What's the time, Stan?
[01:09:03] Yeah.
[01:09:03] One of it.
[01:09:04] Sure.
[01:09:05] No, come on, Nick.
[01:09:07] Hey, no problem.
[01:09:09] All right, I'll say it again.
[01:09:10] They were not popping enough to have news stories.
[01:09:13] I mean, you're not real.
[01:09:14] Look, here's my role is that I say, Adam's completely right.
[01:09:19] They weren't popping.
[01:09:20] Fuck them.
[01:09:20] I'm glad they're dead.
[01:09:22] Now I've provided cover for him.
[01:09:23] Thank you.
[01:09:24] Nice.
[01:09:24] Good job.
[01:09:25] I don't want to edit anything.
[01:09:26] No, I have people already hate me.
[01:09:28] I said it to my girlfriend's parents,
[01:09:30] and I felt terrible afterwards.
[01:09:32] Would they just go quiet?
[01:09:34] They didn't say anything?
[01:09:34] Yeah, that's a horrible thing to say to those,
[01:09:36] to big natural parents.
[01:09:38] Yeah.
[01:09:39] Her parents didn't like me.
[01:09:41] They did like you.
[01:09:42] No, you said they were worried about me.
[01:09:44] They were worried about you.
[01:09:45] I don't know why.
[01:09:46] Well, because it was post-COVID, you were like,
[01:09:48] oh, yeah, I'm like, I'm on my fucking mask.
[01:09:50] You had muscles and like a 22 inch waist
[01:09:54] and a fucking beard, like a ZZ Top beard.
[01:09:58] There's no reason.
[01:09:59] And you're like, you're describing all the reasons
[01:10:01] to not be worried about me.
[01:10:02] And then you were like, yeah, I don't fucking wear a mask.
[01:10:05] And they were like, they're like, live in their house.
[01:10:07] They're like, live New York parents, where they're like,
[01:10:09] oh, he's like, your friend is interesting.
[01:10:12] Yeah, I was like, I was just trying to fuck around with them.
[01:10:14] I was like, yeah, I don't think this shit's real anyways.
[01:10:17] Dude, there's a guy wearing a mask at this show at Friends
[01:10:19] and Lovers, I was just that.
[01:10:20] And I was like, what are you doing?
[01:10:21] He was like, what are you doing?
[01:10:22] And I was like, what do you mean?
[01:10:24] And he was like, I'm wearing one because nobody else is.
[01:10:26] And I was like, forever?
[01:10:27] Somebody's pulled a mask, people aside.
[01:10:30] And you're like, you know, this is going
[01:10:31] to be remembered how racism.
[01:10:33] No, I didn't have Funny Mom.
[01:10:34] You're basically a guy in 1957 being like,
[01:10:37] get on your side of the diner.
[01:10:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:10:39] You know, it's over.
[01:10:41] I did it.
[01:10:41] It's funny.
[01:10:42] It's funny.
[01:10:42] And it backfired so bad.
[01:10:44] What'd you do with Funny Mom?
[01:10:45] Some guy was wearing like an N95 in the front row.
[01:10:47] I was like, mhm.
[01:10:48] I was like, you're at the Racism podcast live comedy show,
[01:10:52] wearing an N95 in the front row.
[01:10:54] And he was like, I'm a mutil compromise.
[01:10:56] And he was like, no, he was like, my mom is dying of cancer
[01:10:59] right now.
[01:11:00] I was like, oh, sorry.
[01:11:03] Well, you should have been like, oh, my mom's already dead.
[01:11:05] Yeah, my mom already died of brain cancer.
[01:11:09] She was beautiful.
[01:11:10] Did you say that?
[01:11:11] Did you throw it back at him?
[01:11:12] Yeah, of course.
[01:11:13] Yeah, you got to do it.
[01:11:14] Yeah, I was like, stop bragging.
[01:11:15] This guy didn't have an excuse.
[01:11:17] He was just like, I'm not getting into this with you right
[01:11:19] now.
[01:11:19] Well, I was on stage and I was like, all right, you don't have to.
[01:11:21] I'm going to get into it and just lay it into him.
[01:11:24] Yeah.
[01:11:24] I mean, some people just made it there.
[01:11:26] I feel bad about saying that about the dead people.
[01:11:28] I honestly, I feel I kind of feel like bad for them
[01:11:32] because it's like, I mean, I'm certain some people
[01:11:35] are like immunocompromised and they need the mask or whatever.
[01:11:37] But if you're just like a regular guy,
[01:11:39] I mean, there's no way you haven't gotten COVID already.
[01:11:41] And you know, it's just.
[01:11:42] He said he hadn't gotten it.
[01:11:43] And that's why he's still wearing the mask.
[01:11:44] Well, maybe then.
[01:11:44] That's pussy.
[01:11:46] But and also everyone who's died from it is a coward.
[01:11:49] Regardless, yeah, regardless of like what side you've got.
[01:11:52] I also feel bad about saying that about COVID or lockdowns
[01:11:55] or any of the shit.
[01:11:56] It's like everybody had to deal with it for two years.
[01:11:59] You were subjected to the reaction to COVID.
[01:12:02] Yeah.
[01:12:02] Either you were locked inside worried about the virus
[01:12:05] or you're locked inside thinking your rights
[01:12:07] are being taken away or whatever it is.
[01:12:09] Nick went full prison.
[01:12:11] You were doing handstand pushups.
[01:12:13] You convert to Islam.
[01:12:14] We all went full prison during the COVID.
[01:12:17] Oh my God, I was in the park every day, jump roping.
[01:12:19] No, I ignored it.
[01:12:20] Oh, you got in jump rope?
[01:12:21] I got in jump rope too.
[01:12:22] I got in jump rope as a best.
[01:12:23] Did you do the cross?
[01:12:24] Yeah, I learned the cross.
[01:12:26] It's awesome.
[01:12:26] When you learn how to do skips in the cross,
[01:12:28] you don't look like a fucking dumb ass jump rope.
[01:12:30] Yeah, it took a while.
[01:12:31] Is it good for your core?
[01:12:33] It's good for everything.
[01:12:34] Yeah, it's good for everything.
[01:12:34] How do I fix my posture?
[01:12:36] You stand up straight.
[01:12:37] Yeah, it's hard.
[01:12:38] I'd say that people with shitty posture
[01:12:40] would be like, I think I need to go to a chiropractor.
[01:12:41] It's like, no, you're just lazy.
[01:12:43] Yeah.
[01:12:44] You're just not standing up straight.
[01:12:45] No, you need like a stronger stomach.
[01:12:47] No, you need and you get that by standing up straight.
[01:12:50] Just you just. Every time you look at your phone,
[01:12:51] you have to like hold it up so that you're
[01:12:53] because if you do this, I put a thing on my phone
[01:12:55] that says up straight.
[01:12:58] Where am I?
[01:12:58] I always hold my phone up.
[01:13:00] I do this thing.
[01:13:01] I always say like, oh, it's a text.
[01:13:02] It's a text from John Hill.
[01:13:05] It's actually a very important text.
[01:13:06] But you don't even face it for a face.
[01:13:08] It's actually a Hollywood celebrity.
[01:13:10] It's Michael Sarah.
[01:13:11] Yeah.
[01:13:12] No.
[01:13:14] I to help my posture every night for like two hours.
[01:13:19] I'll fasten a noose to see.
[01:13:23] And then every day, I let a little bit more weight
[01:13:26] off the stool.
[01:13:28] And in an effort to strengthen my neck
[01:13:31] and the event that I've ever captured,
[01:13:33] they try to execute me by hanging.
[01:13:35] I'll have developed an extra strength that it'll have.
[01:13:38] It'll have no effect.
[01:13:39] A lynching.
[01:13:40] So I'll play dead until the posse leaves
[01:13:42] and then cut myself loose.
[01:13:43] Yeah.
[01:13:44] And then go off to rape in another town.
[01:13:48] Down here in the Wild West.
[01:13:50] You'd have to be tightening your neck
[01:13:52] so you'd just be hanging there like that.
[01:13:53] So I think he's dead.
[01:13:55] That's good.
[01:13:56] That would be pretty cool.
[01:13:57] Yeah.
[01:13:57] To be able to train yourself to do that.
[01:13:59] Yeah.
[01:13:59] To whim off.
[01:14:00] To whim and also half.
[01:14:01] I love them off.
[01:14:02] Yeah.
[01:14:02] It should have been off the best.
[01:14:03] Wim off.
[01:14:04] It's all it's such bullshit.
[01:14:06] Yeah.
[01:14:06] It's like so obviously.
[01:14:07] It's like he's a grifter.
[01:14:07] Yeah.
[01:14:08] I mean, cold showers are nice.
[01:14:09] Like you do get like a like you're into it.
[01:14:11] Yeah.
[01:14:11] I mean, I'm a cold shower guy.
[01:14:13] But like the breathing shit you just like create like you
[01:14:16] just get yourself off.
[01:14:17] You're just panic.
[01:14:17] Yeah.
[01:14:18] You just get yourself high off like the way a child would.
[01:14:20] You're playing like the knockout game.
[01:14:22] Yeah.
[01:14:22] The choking game or whatever.
[01:14:24] And then there's all these people that have died doing it
[01:14:27] because they'll like hyperventilating the bathtub
[01:14:29] and then pass out and fucking drown.
[01:14:31] Yeah.
[01:14:32] And but then you watch his videos and it's like man,
[01:14:37] this guy just loves life.
[01:14:38] Honestly, he's not a grifter.
[01:14:40] He's he's.
[01:14:40] No, he's like a self help guy.
[01:14:42] Yeah, but he's a self help guy.
[01:14:43] He's like selling shit.
[01:14:44] Sure.
[01:14:45] Well, he's not selling shit.
[01:14:46] I don't know.
[01:14:46] Yeah, he does like seminars where people do stupid hockey
[01:14:49] dance.
[01:14:50] I guess.
[01:14:50] But is that so much worse and stand up comedy?
[01:14:52] No, it's much better.
[01:14:53] Yeah.
[01:14:54] You make people feel better.
[01:14:55] Yeah.
[01:14:57] I don't know.
[01:14:57] I like him.
[01:14:58] We love it in our house.
[01:14:59] We walk in and we're like, are you are you whim or are you
[01:15:01] off?
[01:15:01] Are you women also off?
[01:15:02] Were we women off?
[01:15:03] Would you fuck Wim Hof?
[01:15:05] Yeah.
[01:15:05] Yeah.
[01:15:06] I'll fuck anything.
[01:15:07] Are you met me?
[01:15:08] You'll fuck anything?
[01:15:09] Yeah.
[01:15:10] Reseparations and black people.
[01:15:11] Mm hmm.
[01:15:12] What are you talking about?
[01:15:13] I thought you recently sort of.
[01:15:16] Fucking Asian people.
[01:15:17] I don't fuck anybody.
[01:15:19] You know who has really good posture?
[01:15:21] Like gay guys under 40.
[01:15:23] That's because they always have a look of shock like this.
[01:15:26] So their heads always back.
[01:15:27] They always have incredible posture.
[01:15:29] Yeah.
[01:15:29] Gay guys like old gay guys always have like my kind of posture.
[01:15:33] That's like, you ever see old black women on the train
[01:15:36] and their eyebrows are always up in a look of just shock.
[01:15:38] So then what happens?
[01:15:40] They already have their face like, mmm.
[01:15:44] That's some bullshit.
[01:15:45] You know what I'm talking about?
[01:15:45] Like this?
[01:15:46] Oh.
[01:15:47] I have stared at women on the train and I'm like, what?
[01:15:49] What are you possibly so appalled at already?
[01:15:52] Yeah.
[01:15:52] And then something happens and they're already up.
[01:15:54] And I'm like, you're just prepared.
[01:15:56] Yeah.
[01:15:56] But gay men are like that too.
[01:15:57] They just always have this look of like, what are you?
[01:16:00] You know what I mean?
[01:16:01] Like it's like they're already offended.
[01:16:04] The pos- you know what I didn't understand
[01:16:07] is when it's gone now.
[01:16:10] It doesn't exist anymore.
[01:16:11] When people had the wired Apple headphones.
[01:16:15] You remember the ones?
[01:16:16] Like the AirPods with the wire.
[01:16:17] Yeah, two days ago, yeah.
[01:16:19] Yeah, a couple years ago.
[01:16:20] What do you mean?
[01:16:21] Every gay guy would take phone calls on those fucking
[01:16:25] ipods or whatever the fuck, the earbuds.
[01:16:28] And they would with one hand hold the microphone part.
[01:16:32] Oh yes.
[01:16:33] And with the other hand, their gate would change
[01:16:35] and the other hand would start swinging wildly.
[01:16:37] And they've all did it.
[01:16:39] Every single one of them be like, so we're meeting Eric
[01:16:42] at luncheon three and they all had the same exact.
[01:16:45] They would all hold it the same way.
[01:16:48] And it's like, that's where I get into like,
[01:16:51] this is all just a power.
[01:16:53] Simulation, yeah.
[01:16:54] Yeah, there's too many just.
[01:16:55] Well, I was on the train and I saw three people,
[01:16:57] one homeless, basically homeless,
[01:16:59] like all different types of people,
[01:17:01] all reading sci-fi novels.
[01:17:04] And I was like, this is crazy.
[01:17:06] I haven't seen a book on the train in years.
[01:17:09] Dude, there's all this.
[01:17:10] Oh, that doesn't sound like that.
[01:17:11] Not only that night.
[01:17:12] It was crazy.
[01:17:13] No, that sounds just like that.
[01:17:14] It wasn't even on the whole train.
[01:17:15] It was my side of the train.
[01:17:16] It was three dudes.
[01:17:17] The rest of that story was Steven at the bar.
[01:17:19] I mean, you know the rest of the story.
[01:17:21] All the other coincidence, who that guy turned out to be,
[01:17:24] then the other guy we talked to afterwards.
[01:17:26] And like, you know, I don't know.
[01:17:29] We have a group chat that's me, Adam and Steven,
[01:17:31] and some other guys.
[01:17:33] And our friend Alex asks, like, what music do I ask for going
[01:17:38] on stage because I was going to Nashville.
[01:17:41] I just let the DJ pick.
[01:17:43] And then I just was like, maybe I'll do Mexican radio.
[01:17:46] Do you know that song?
[01:17:47] I love that song.
[01:17:48] I was just listening to it when I pulled up here.
[01:17:49] Are you kidding me?
[01:17:50] Yeah, it's right here.
[01:17:51] Well, this is what I'm talking about.
[01:17:52] I don't like this shit.
[01:17:54] I said, maybe I'll do Mexican radio.
[01:17:56] And I have not heard that song, like, on the radio or anywhere
[01:17:58] other than me just choosing to listen to it myself
[01:18:01] throughout my life here and there.
[01:18:02] Wait, is this the same one?
[01:18:04] By Wahlavudu?
[01:18:05] Yeah.
[01:18:05] Yes.
[01:18:06] Yeah.
[01:18:07] I literally was just, I listened to it a lot.
[01:18:09] OK.
[01:18:09] Well, hold on.
[01:18:10] So it was right there?
[01:18:11] No, you're listening.
[01:18:12] Anyways, I said that.
[01:18:14] And I haven't heard.
[01:18:15] And then on the lift back to the airport,
[01:18:17] it's just on the fucking radio.
[01:18:18] And so I had a record and I asked the lift driver,
[01:18:20] I'm like, is this just terrestrial radio?
[01:18:22] He's like, yeah, it's like Bob FM or something.
[01:18:24] And I sent it to Steven.
[01:18:25] He's like, yeah, I haven't heard that song in 25 years.
[01:18:27] But then again, I'm not listening to the radio.
[01:18:29] Maybe fucking Mexican radio is on the radio constantly.
[01:18:33] I don't think so.
[01:18:34] Yeah, the cab driver, he didn't know the song.
[01:18:36] Yeah, I've shown it to people because I really like it.
[01:18:38] And nobody knows what it is.
[01:18:40] Album's great.
[01:18:41] Come on, everybody, your show.
[01:18:43] There's like a trance.
[01:18:44] Yeah.
[01:18:45] I don't know if it's trance.
[01:18:46] Electronic music that I went to go see in Montreal.
[01:18:48] And I always start listening to it around a time where I'm like.
[01:18:50] Oh, trance music.
[01:18:52] Yeah, I just said there was a trance.
[01:18:53] Yeah, we know about that.
[01:18:54] We know about her, yeah.
[01:18:55] And I think she fucked my friend.
[01:18:57] Really?
[01:18:57] Really?
[01:18:58] What was the man?
[01:18:59] Man.
[01:18:59] It's a man.
[01:19:00] No, it's a man.
[01:19:02] No, but a man very similar to Ian, actually.
[01:19:04] Interesting.
[01:19:05] He's what I mean about coincidences.
[01:19:07] If I described Ian, you would never be like, oh, there's
[01:19:11] got to be two guys like that.
[01:19:12] No, but my buddy Peter, very similar, actually.
[01:19:15] And I think he fucked that lady.
[01:19:16] Interesting.
[01:19:17] Whatever.
[01:19:17] He's done things for me over the years.
[01:19:18] Anyway, we just like him.
[01:19:19] She's great.
[01:19:20] Yeah, yeah.
[01:19:22] She used to be cold to me, but.
[01:19:23] Well, it's a shit job, probably.
[01:19:26] Especially bartending for orphans.
[01:19:29] I had an altercation with that same person.
[01:19:31] The same.
[01:19:32] Yeah, I haven't been back since, honestly.
[01:19:34] She's a bitch.
[01:19:34] That was fucking wild.
[01:19:35] Yeah.
[01:19:36] Yeah.
[01:19:37] Just insane.
[01:19:38] She was hiding in a corner, and I walked in,
[01:19:40] and she goes, excuse me, can I see her ID?
[01:19:43] And I was like, you are literally stuffed into a corner,
[01:19:46] like basically hiding under a coat.
[01:19:48] So look, you became a security person
[01:19:50] because you're fucking insecure about being this little
[01:19:52] fucking just like pug of a lesbian.
[01:19:55] No one knows what we're talking about.
[01:19:57] No, you're never going to, you know, like, nobody's
[01:20:00] going to be like, oh, I'm afraid of this person.
[01:20:03] You know what I mean?
[01:20:03] 80 security guard for the audience.
[01:20:07] Try to check Nick's ID, and he's like,
[01:20:09] I'm here all the time.
[01:20:10] No, that's not what happened.
[01:20:11] And again, I didn't see her.
[01:20:13] I didn't think they had a fucking door person.
[01:20:15] So I went in.
[01:20:16] She's not by the door.
[01:20:17] She's not by the door.
[01:20:17] She hides.
[01:20:18] And then so I went in the showroom.
[01:20:19] She comes out and she's hitting me.
[01:20:21] Yeah, she got.
[01:20:21] I turn around, I'm like.
[01:20:22] She pushed me.
[01:20:23] Yeah, I was like, what's up?
[01:20:24] And she's like, do you hear me calling you?
[01:20:27] And I'm like, no.
[01:20:29] Maybe you should be like, I didn't say this,
[01:20:30] but it's like, literally no, I didn't hear you.
[01:20:33] So you're bad at your job.
[01:20:35] And I was like, I didn't realize that a door person.
[01:20:37] I'm sorry, but yeah, I'm like, I run the show.
[01:20:39] I'm like here all the time.
[01:20:40] And then she's like, well, you got to pay more, better time.
[01:20:42] I'm like, OK, I'm sorry.
[01:20:44] And then I turn around, and I get ready to do the show.
[01:20:46] And then five seconds after that, she hits me again, even harder.
[01:20:49] She's like, did you hear what I just said?
[01:20:51] And I'm like, OK, well, what needs to happen here?
[01:20:54] Do you need me to see my ID?
[01:20:55] And I pull my ID out.
[01:20:56] She's like, OK, first of all, you need to calm down,
[01:20:58] because you don't want me to get angry,
[01:21:01] because then we're going to have a problem.
[01:21:03] I'm like, and then what's the problem going to be?
[01:21:04] You're going to kick me out?
[01:21:05] What do you want to do?
[01:21:06] And then she's like, yeah, get out.
[01:21:07] And I was like, OK.
[01:21:08] And then I fucking just walked.
[01:21:10] And I told the guy that the box office guy, I was like, yeah,
[01:21:16] well, they're bouncing me.
[01:21:17] So I'm leaving.
[01:21:18] I got a taxi driver.
[01:21:19] I get into a taxi the other day at the airport.
[01:21:22] And he's like, where are you going?
[01:21:23] And I was like, you should just hand me your phone now,
[01:21:25] because you're not going to know where it is.
[01:21:26] And he was like, where is it?
[01:21:27] And I was like, it's flat-bush.
[01:21:28] And he was like, where is that?
[01:21:29] And I was like, it's Brooklyn.
[01:21:30] And he was like, what street?
[01:21:31] And I was like, rugby, and he was like, where is that?
[01:21:33] And I was like, dude, give me your phone.
[01:21:35] And I put it in.
[01:21:36] And then I fall asleep in the cab.
[01:21:37] And I wake up to him smacking the back of the seat,
[01:21:41] just hitting it.
[01:21:42] And I was like, what, dude?
[01:21:44] And he was like, we have to take it's telling me
[01:21:47] now to take this exit.
[01:21:48] And it was telling me to take this exit.
[01:21:50] And I was like, I don't know, man.
[01:21:51] I'm not a fucking taxi driver.
[01:21:52] And he's like, I know you're not a taxi driver,
[01:21:54] but it's telling me to take this exit.
[01:21:56] And I got so mad.
[01:21:57] I was like, I didn't move my house.
[01:21:58] And then you fucked?
[01:21:59] No, I didn't fucked that guy.
[01:22:01] And that one got away.
[01:22:03] But I have been openly being a woman at the movie theater
[01:22:07] the other day.
[01:22:07] It was like, those are our seats.
[01:22:09] And she was half an hour late.
[01:22:10] And I was like, hey, you came in here half an hour late.
[01:22:12] You can sit in our seats.
[01:22:13] And she was like, oh, OK.
[01:22:14] And my friend was like, what's wrong with you?
[01:22:16] And I was like, what do you want me to do?
[01:22:17] You're a New Yorker now.
[01:22:19] You have to.
[01:22:20] I remember Lewis getting out.
[01:22:21] I wish I could remember what movie it was.
[01:22:22] It was so absurd.
[01:22:23] But he got into a fight with somebody
[01:22:26] at the AMC in Kips Bay or something.
[01:22:30] Lewis?
[01:22:31] Yeah.
[01:22:31] And it was like, I forget what it was so funny.
[01:22:33] Because the movie, it was like so not worth it.
[01:22:35] But the movie was.
[01:22:37] And it was bullshit, too.
[01:22:38] He's like, there's a bitch in her girlfriend.
[01:22:40] They're like, yeah, is this bitch in her girlfriend
[01:22:42] or like laughing?
[01:22:43] Or is it like he's like mad for some Lewis reason?
[01:22:48] I wish I had a little coffee table
[01:22:51] book of things Lewis has gotten mad at.
[01:22:53] It causes a problem over.
[01:22:55] The best of all of them was when he fucking called up.
[01:22:59] No, not quitting Equinox is pretty fucking funny.
[01:23:02] That's very funny.
[01:23:02] But the very best is when he called up,
[01:23:04] there was a bill to bear that was in like fucking,
[01:23:08] like Palisades Mall or something.
[01:23:10] And he went there to take James there to like go get
[01:23:13] a bear or something.
[01:23:14] And it was close.
[01:23:15] It was out of business.
[01:23:16] So he calls up a different bill to bear to yell at them
[01:23:19] about the other one being fucking close.
[01:23:22] And it's like, there's nothing they can do about it.
[01:23:25] There's just employees of like a fucking bill to bear.
[01:23:26] Yeah, as a guy that works.
[01:23:28] Pointless.
[01:23:29] And then who will lay these stories
[01:23:30] if it's like, you know, you're being like,
[01:23:33] yeah, you did the right thing.
[01:23:36] Yeah, you can't do the pointless.
[01:23:39] You have to say it so that it'll change their life.
[01:23:41] There's a lot of people mad at me.
[01:23:42] They're like, well, that's what you did with the security guard.
[01:23:44] No, I wasn't.
[01:23:46] Yeah, you did.
[01:23:46] And I gave it.
[01:23:47] I said, if you want to kick me out, you can.
[01:23:49] And I left.
[01:23:49] I did a fake apology.
[01:23:52] What do you mean?
[01:23:53] I said, he's really sorry.
[01:23:55] Yeah, that's the other thing too.
[01:23:56] They had the venue ask me.
[01:23:57] They were like, it would really mean a lot to us
[01:23:59] if you call them.
[01:23:59] That doesn't make any sense.
[01:24:00] I don't understand.
[01:24:01] It's a hired security guard.
[01:24:02] I don't understand that.
[01:24:03] I think they maybe they had other problems
[01:24:05] with the security company.
[01:24:06] And that's why that lady's there.
[01:24:07] It's because I did.
[01:24:08] No, I think she was asked not to come back.
[01:24:11] Most of these air audios.
[01:24:12] She's there.
[01:24:12] That's not it.
[01:24:13] Yeah.
[01:24:15] Screaming at me.
[01:24:17] Freaking out.
[01:24:19] It's after midnight right now.
[01:24:20] Oh my god.
[01:24:21] I have an early flight.
[01:24:22] I have to go.
[01:24:23] I have to fly to LA.
[01:24:24] Oh, yeah.
[01:24:25] We're good on time here.
[01:24:26] So we'll just.
[01:24:26] We had fun.
[01:24:27] Yeah.
[01:24:28] Yeah, we had fun.
[01:24:28] Good night.
[01:24:29] Good night, folks.
[01:24:29] Yeah.