TAFS | Premium | 10/04/2022
[00:00:37] Hello and welcome to the Adam Friedland Show.
[00:00:43] October 3rd, Halloween, just around the corner.
[00:00:48] Gay or couples costumes ready, boyfriends and girlfriends
[00:00:51] that are coordinating all over the country.
[00:00:56] Super producer Nick Mullen and center left talk show
[00:01:03] You see people who are going to dress like me for Halloween?
[00:01:05] I think boyfriends and girlfriends will.
[00:01:07] Like a freak monster, is that what you're saying?
[00:01:18] They want to be me years ago when they thought I was
[00:01:32] And I've been doing this show for years.
[00:01:34] This story today, Nick Mullen, weight gain.
[00:01:39] I'm Ted Koppel, tonight's biggest story.
[00:01:46] Nick Mullen producer of the Adam Friedland Show.
[00:01:49] Turns out to be as big of a fatty as I thought he was.
[00:01:54] Don't mind me if I say I told you so, America.
[00:02:06] He's doing kind of like what Christian bailed it.
[00:02:08] I'm doing, remember how they said that skinny fat is bad?
[00:02:21] does when he works from, you know, when he's shown up on set
[00:02:26] I'm going to go get a pair of scissors.
[00:02:34] The middle of fucking what we have to do is fucking podcast.
[00:02:38] Because the light switch needs labels on them.
[00:02:51] Folks, if you're playing along at home,
[00:02:58] And for guys like me, I'm basically in heaven right now.
[00:03:03] It's kind of what you've been doing your whole life.
[00:03:06] To give a racist, autistic person a label maker?
[00:03:20] And I slap that bad boy right on the waiter's name tag.
[00:03:27] I thought you covered up the bin deep with a label that says
[00:03:34] I'll tell you, I'd bin deep in that bitch.
[00:03:58] It was called the fuck are you talking about difficult?
[00:04:09] Doing classic pranks for when I turn back up to the office.
[00:04:16] Why don't you talk about what you're talking about?
[00:04:18] You put my stapler in Jella from NBC's The Office.
[00:04:29] We've been doing this show in living rooms for six years.
[00:04:33] The concept of office pranks was something
[00:04:38] But now we have a whole new world of possibilities.
[00:04:42] I was thinking about that the other day.
[00:04:47] Jasmine, because she's got to be thinking, you know,
[00:04:50] she's on a magic carpet above Agriba with her peasant.
[00:04:55] Well, she thinks this Prince Ali Ali above.
[00:04:59] She's like, just to be clear, I'm being
[00:05:02] drugged and raped by like nine guys on the couch somewhere.
[00:05:14] But I know that whatever's going on right now.
[00:05:18] Yeah, my brain is going to a different place.
[00:05:20] It's because I'm just fucking just completely getting raped.
[00:05:23] I'm escaping the horrors that are happening inside of my pussy.
[00:05:31] Well, my favorite thing about the whole new world song
[00:05:36] Then he does like a trustful thing off the balcony.
[00:05:42] And for a second, she thinks that Aladdin has killed himself,
[00:05:53] Well, I guess I'm going to fucking kill myself.
[00:06:03] No, again, Nick, she thinks it's Prince Ali Ali Abapwa.
[00:06:08] But that movie's bullshit, though, because it's like, you know.
[00:06:13] There would never be a genie, but also like, oh, well,
[00:06:17] it's like, you know, love can transcend socioeconomic status
[00:06:30] So if you're going to transcend your social class,
[00:06:48] So I can suck, so I can suck tube, ghost tube.
[00:06:55] Zavaping is kind of like sucking a ghost's dick.
[00:07:13] Yeah, Nick and I, before we start the episode today,
[00:07:18] that says, that's what's up after every.
[00:07:28] This is the character I want to work out on the show.
[00:07:29] It's a comedian that says, that's what's up.
[00:07:31] A comedian that says, that's what's up.
[00:07:34] that you can't think of an insult fast enough?
[00:07:38] That's us, but it's also, it's what's up.
[00:07:42] We're saying, that's us, but that's also what's up.
[00:07:54] Yeah, so when you talk to the television,
[00:08:03] saying a brand of wear dose, even though I'm 35.
[00:08:06] But I can afford a hotel at this point.
[00:08:09] Yeah, I gotta buy my plane ticket to Houston this weekend.
[00:08:13] Go see Nick at the Houston Improv, the legendary Houston.
[00:08:16] Bring a friend too, apparently the way they sell tickets
[00:08:20] So you can either purchase tickets for a two-top
[00:08:27] We have a lot of loan rules coming to show.
[00:08:34] Because yeah, because that's the only way you can see Nick.
[00:08:37] That is such a bad business move on your part
[00:08:40] to be like the only people that could come to my show
[00:08:49] with my high school best friend, my child.
[00:09:02] Children now, they're like, they're three years old.
[00:09:05] And they're like, this guy better be gay or I'm not
[00:09:08] No, my friend doesn't want to send his kids to public school
[00:09:12] because he thinks that they turn you trans.
[00:09:17] I don't know anyone in my life that actually
[00:09:23] So it was kind of sick when he was dropping that kind of stuff.
[00:09:29] When we were in high school, he was always conservative.
[00:09:33] Oh, so sort of like a kind of like a buddy cop kind of thing.
[00:09:41] Which one were you Jack Lemon or Walter Mattel?
[00:09:46] He was the messy, divorced, sports writing conservative.
[00:09:51] I kind of miss having proper conservatives in my life.
[00:09:57] You don't have to come, but I'd love to see you there.
[00:10:02] We did remember something from high school,
[00:10:11] I sat here in the office in watch going to Gary Glummer.
[00:10:31] we wanted to throw the biggest party of high school.
[00:10:55] Somehow I turned to Osama bin Laden, too.
[00:11:07] You did it, but we were repeating it for about an hour.
[00:11:30] We'll get chicks in the pool and stuff.
[00:11:33] And so we were like, how are we going to get rid of your parents?
[00:11:39] So we bought them a spa package, the parent trap, out of town.
[00:11:44] And he said it to me this week about it.
[00:11:48] It's only for God what he said to his parents,
[00:11:50] because obviously they found out that we were throwing a party
[00:11:56] And we fucking destroyed my parents' house.
[00:12:01] If you're Chinese, every day of your life
[00:12:03] has to be that opening scene from the parent trap.
[00:12:10] When the separated of birth twins, they run into each other.
[00:12:20] You've got to just be like, that's got to be so.
[00:12:23] You have to get our parents back together.
[00:12:26] Ooh, North Korea is launching missiles in Japan.
[00:12:37] Speaking of, it sounds like a parent trap going on right now.
[00:12:41] We have to get our parents back together.
[00:12:46] That's where we'll get their attention.
[00:12:49] Yeah, he reminded me, and I totally forgot he did this.
[00:12:55] We both bought this spa and golf package for his parents out of town.
[00:13:01] And he gave it to his mom, and he said, mom, I got this for you as a present for my graduation.
[00:13:08] And his mom was like, that makes absolutely no sense.
[00:13:16] She's like, are you going to throw the crazy?
[00:13:22] That's literally what we were trying to do.
[00:13:25] And neither of us, I don't think had sex with any sex.
[00:13:29] I think I did maybe kiss one girl, but that's cute.
[00:13:36] And then it's like, okay, go ahead, dance with it.
[00:13:41] It's like a six foot two girl with down syndrome.
[00:13:51] Nick, did I ever show you that picture?
[00:13:54] Well, is it a picture of a woman down syndrome?
[00:13:56] Yeah, well, I've never showed you this.
[00:14:00] It's a picture of me in what it was, 14.
[00:14:02] I don't know, but we can't have any dead air.
[00:14:06] Guys, Houston, please come out this weekend or week or weekend, October 7th or the 7th.
[00:14:29] I was making a joke, but the woman does look like she has at least clowns.
[00:14:37] The doctor says my son has clowns syndrome.
[00:14:40] Oh, it's like, they say he will be born with clowns syndrome?
[00:14:48] I'm like a crazy, fucked up clown, like the jokers.
[00:14:53] So people are frustrated that the show hasn't come out yet, but we're making moves.
[00:15:01] I mean, what are they going to fucking do about it?
[00:15:13] We're not running like the producers right now.
[00:15:18] We're not putting on springtime for another grift.
[00:15:20] A little bit is we're putting on the greatest center left talk show of all time.
[00:15:25] It takes hundreds of thousands of dollars.
[00:15:36] You're hanging wires from a ceiling at 11 p.m. on a Saturday night.
[00:15:42] And these goofers, they're going to come at us.
[00:15:46] They're going to come at our asses when Nick is destroying his body, destroying his gorgeous
[00:15:59] It's so satisfying to do work all day long and then to do this.
[00:16:04] And I'm like, I already feel accomplished for this.
[00:16:09] And so then I'll just bomb the podcast.
[00:16:20] To give you guys a fucking timeline, we're saying mid November.
[00:16:26] Well, we could do it earlier than that.
[00:16:30] But the stage reveal has to be part of, you shouldn't have even said the first word.
[00:16:36] You would have got pissed at me if I did the what the stage reveal?
[00:16:46] So the stage reveal has to be part of the launch of the show.
[00:16:53] The infrastructure, well, yeah, I can finish that tonight.
[00:16:58] Then we need the second element of the build out.
[00:17:08] It gets the DP in here to say put lights here here.
[00:17:22] And I don't, I personally don't want to, I want it to be, you know, big.
[00:17:28] I know we're not going to say who it is.
[00:17:30] No, they're not going to be into it either.
[00:17:32] They're not going to be like, this is gay.
[00:17:35] Guys, we got Neil DeGrasse for the show and we're, we've got a galaxy sized pussy and
[00:17:42] we're going to let him kiss it wherever he wants to.
[00:17:56] The culmination of six years of a podcast that was fun to do.
[00:18:00] That's exactly what I was going to say.
[00:18:01] We're precluded from fucking really just going all out, going crazy, spending the money,
[00:18:10] I'm not going to say why we're precluded.
[00:18:14] And now we can fucking, now we can go crazy.
[00:18:20] The only thing that sucks is being beholden to a schedule where we have to release things
[00:18:28] It's like, then you get this where it's like, so.
[00:18:31] Unfortunately, the podcast will have to be if you just bear with us or whatever.
[00:18:36] If you subscribe to the Patreon, you want to unsub for a fucking month just because you
[00:18:42] think it's, you know, this is gay because you're mad.
[00:18:49] But you can, I think we got, I think, I think there's not like we're, like, you know, it's
[00:19:06] Imagine, okay, I'll speak without even as coded language, right?
[00:19:12] You're two doofuses that have been doing a podcast for morons for six years, right?
[00:19:17] And then your friend leaves and then you publicly make a claim that you are going to
[00:19:24] And then you shortly thereafter realize that you have no idea how to produce a television.
[00:19:29] I know some, I've, I've worked in television.
[00:19:31] In this last couple of months, we have learned a tremendous amount.
[00:19:37] I think I knew what we were saying ourselves.
[00:19:41] So Nick knew I've become aware in these last couple of months.
[00:19:46] But the exciting thing is, is that there is actual real growth.
[00:19:51] Even what we have now, I'd love to show you a picture of it.
[00:20:02] We're making springtime for Hitler guys.
[00:20:06] What's that about baseball, German baseball?
[00:20:12] It's when they wanted to integrate the Nazi leagues and the Negro leagues.
[00:20:21] Are you excited about baseball postseason?
[00:20:23] I think I'm going to get back into baseball.
[00:20:26] How many baseball games do you watch this year?
[00:20:30] Maybe the first regular season I've watched nine innings of a game.
[00:20:36] And probably since I was like less than 10 years old, probably like in my single digits.
[00:20:46] Spent the first half panicking about downtown ending.
[00:20:51] And then immediately switching to having a giant ego about the Adam Friedland show and
[00:20:56] looking at pictures of yourself all day.
[00:20:59] I'm just hiring different photographers to do different style headshots.
[00:21:16] I'll set the other room up as my art studio.
[00:21:23] You're going to set the entire place on fire with your kiln.
[00:21:30] I got to get a wall mount, put it on the wall.
[00:21:34] We need one of those choking hazard signs where it's like the retarded Asian guy getting the
[00:21:41] Why do they always have a retarded Chinese guy?
[00:21:45] He's like, I think I've probably figured out a way to get our parents back together.
[00:21:50] So wait, so North Korea's bombing Japan right now?
[00:22:09] Liquid I can be demonstrating their missiles.
[00:22:15] You don't have to worry about North Korea.
[00:22:16] What you have to worry about is India and Pakistan.
[00:22:20] That is the only because they have nuclear weapons and they're fucking Indian.
[00:22:30] Oh, when I said when for some reason when you said India and Pakistan what I was assuming
[00:22:39] You don't have to worry about Russia because we've already been through the Cold War with
[00:22:49] India, imagine, you know the how can she slap video?
[00:23:01] And the woman has been Pakistan forever.
[00:23:06] But what if both of them just squashed the beef, got together, not going to happen?
[00:23:12] And then they got pussy all over the world.
[00:23:21] You know, what if they what if they realized that they could they could start?
[00:23:26] That's what they say after they start world war.
[00:23:29] After they nuke fucking they started nuclear world war.
[00:23:32] Are they still are they still escalating tensions over there?
[00:23:43] It's badass because it reminds me of Zeppelin.
[00:23:52] I'll tell you what I'd kill for right now.
[00:23:59] Some nice, nice different mustard dipping sauce.
[00:24:03] I love I love a big pretzel with some mustard.
[00:24:07] I told you I went to dinner with Steven and Alex.
[00:24:09] I was pretending to be a British moron the entire time.
[00:24:13] And the Italian waiter who I convinced I was an imbecile at the end of the dinner at
[00:24:22] And he came up and he goes, oh, sleepy high.
[00:24:24] And then he sort of pat me on the back if you would a dog.
[00:24:29] And I've never felt more comforted in my life.
[00:24:34] It was like I felt like a I felt like a dog.
[00:24:38] And you're giving him a bone or something.
[00:24:41] He's got like a part of the couch you can lay down on.
[00:24:43] It would be nice to be just a properly retarded guy.
[00:24:48] I had one of those at Home Depot today.
[00:25:03] And then he just started following me around.
[00:25:06] What if he was doing a bit like you were at the Italian restaurant?
[00:25:12] That's probably what you would do if you worked at Home Depot.
[00:25:14] That's what our Billy Joel songs are about.
[00:25:23] It's a song he wrote to a dog he was in love with.
[00:25:26] That he would meet in the alley behind the Italian restaurant.
[00:25:32] You know, you could remake Lady in the tramp and cast just a white woman as Lady.
[00:25:46] He wasn't a little rough around the edges.
[00:25:51] Bert Reynolds plays Charlie in All Dogs Go to Heaven.
[00:25:57] No, I don't remember who was the play of the tramp.
[00:26:00] But I feel like most white women would fuck you.
[00:26:03] It's very funny to imagine Bert Reynolds doing V.O. for a children's movie.
[00:26:28] Yeah, it's a crazy fucking world out there.
[00:26:33] Honestly, one of the funniest movies of all time is him posing nude for playgirl.
[00:26:46] The dogs were going to look at my body.
[00:27:01] I watched Die Hard like three times the other day.
[00:27:09] I thought it was a movie about a bunch of terrorists that took over a building.
[00:27:29] But I went to it with my grandma and my mom.
[00:27:35] Me and that guy Alex, my best friend that saw this weekend, we didn't want to pay money
[00:27:41] for it to Mel Gibson because he's an anti-Semite.
[00:27:44] So we paid for like I think soul play or some, we paid for another movie and then went to
[00:28:11] Yeah, I listened back to what they say.
[00:28:17] I guess now I'm self conscious about a new thing.
[00:28:20] I guess when it's attached to looking at you, it's not as bad, but just the audio
[00:28:26] Oh God, there's a new thing that I just sort of-
[00:28:40] You sound like, yeah, you're being like, I'm being throated.
[00:28:49] Now I take back everything I said to the people that are frustrated with the show.
[00:29:01] Did you know I know you laugh like that?
[00:29:06] We should bleach your hair and keep it the same length, but give you like a side part,
[00:29:13] And then you can't grow sideburns, but if you grow sideburns, that would be perfect.
[00:29:30] And it's taken fucking just the logistics of getting a monster truck into the 19th floor
[00:29:40] Yeah, which is not really supposed to be for building a South station.
[00:29:44] And then we're bringing on that Chinese guy that eats airplanes and we're going to have
[00:29:49] But we had to disassemble the entire monster truck and reassemble it.
[00:29:53] Remember that story about the Chinese guy that eats airplanes?
[00:29:58] There's always like guys that eat metal that are on like Ripley's Believe It or not type
[00:30:03] Well yeah, Chinese guy ate an airplane and it's like, how big of an airplane?
[00:30:15] If he just parachuted down in front of the tower.
[00:30:19] He could have eaten that goddamn thing.
[00:30:24] Bert rounds is like, hey, it's airplanes.
[00:30:33] I don't realize it was for fucking kids.
[00:30:38] This is the shit kids like, I guess, is dogs.
[00:30:51] You get it, get in there the right way.
[00:30:56] I don't even remember what Bert Reynolds sounds like.
[00:31:00] For some reason, just remember the norm.
[00:31:21] If you're wondering why this episode is bad, it's because we're sad about Norm McDonald's.
[00:31:26] Maybe hold your horses on the getting mad train because we're dealing with loss.
[00:31:45] He's like, well, I got a fucking shirt on.
[00:31:48] You ever see them little dogs that got shirts?
[00:32:01] That's the only part of the dog I don't want to see.
[00:32:28] I'm exhausted from this fucking red eye from Los Angeles.
[00:32:30] Yeah, you go for this trapped in Los Angeles because now you've destroyed two cars.
[00:32:51] Something where I can get other girlfriends.
[00:32:54] Yeah, I would love to, but I have to do a lot of work for that.
[00:32:57] I've got to sell a lot of fucking Mary Kay.
[00:33:01] What if I, what if the podcast crashes and burns?
[00:33:18] I can't, I don't know this phone number.
[00:33:32] No, I just asked your Russian girlfriend for a W9 and she said she has to have her lawyer
[00:33:42] Oh, from, from the penthouse apartment?
[00:33:47] She says I had to ask my lawyer to send this because I have no idea what that is.
[00:33:55] I got to be on my P's and Q's now because we're spending so much.
[00:34:01] You got to keep everything under, yeah, under control.
[00:34:04] Wally, coming to the Criterion Collection.
[00:34:07] His favorite movie is finally getting the respected deserves with special features for,
[00:34:14] They're going to do a director's cut with all the fucking in it.
[00:34:22] You know, I don't remember that movie at all.
[00:34:23] I remember enjoying it, but I remember him being in the junkyard and he's got a girlfriend
[00:34:32] I think it was about the people through trash too.
[00:34:36] I remember the movie's and you're like, these are good.
[00:34:38] And then I think back and it's like after five years, you don't remember anything in
[00:34:47] I don't know if that's a way to say whether something's good or not, but that's, that's
[00:34:53] That's just me shooting from the hip once again.
[00:34:55] That's the thing is that even if I forget something, it's bad.
[00:35:00] You're still passionate about making that point.
[00:35:10] You know, there's restaurants you're like, oh, that's a good restaurant.
[00:35:14] So you're just saying it's a good restaurant.
[00:35:16] Other places you've been to, you're like, this is fucking amazing.
[00:35:25] I've, there's, there's, I've gone to restaurants and had amazing meals.
[00:35:31] I remember exactly what I ordered and I cannot tell you who I was with.
[00:35:38] I have no, I can't tell you what year I went or fucking who I was with.
[00:35:43] But I can tell you, I can tell you what I ordered.
[00:35:46] Maybe taste is just a more powerful sense for you.
[00:35:52] Then the sense of watching a movie, whatever that is, your eyes and the heart and the brain.
[00:36:07] Let's go ahead and say, Adam, why don't you do a little, little riff about your trip
[00:36:22] But what's Los Angeles that shows on Friday and Saturday night?
[00:36:33] Feel like some people got a little bit too sexual during the pictures.
[00:36:44] You remember when Senator Al Franken got in trouble?
[00:36:52] But what they said he did was that he grabbed a girl's tits while she was sleeping once
[00:36:59] That's the fucking craziest part about that.
[00:37:05] He's like just doing like, ah, and it's not- he's grabbing her tits.
[00:37:08] He's like, what if I, what if I scare this lady?
[00:37:15] But you also know that like now in retrospect Al Franken just wanted an out.
[00:37:23] What people are saying is going to run from president?
[00:37:27] Has he done literally fucking anything?
[00:37:32] Yeah, he doesn't have like a TV show or something.
[00:37:40] We should get him in the writer's room for, uh, tabs.
[00:37:44] And then the other thing he got in trouble for is he took pictures with people.
[00:37:53] That he was touching them in a way that made them feel uncomfortable.
[00:38:02] It was just like around their waist or something.
[00:38:05] They don't ask to take a picture with somebody.
[00:38:09] But now that I say that, I feel like a couple of the people taking pictures with me were
[00:38:16] Today's headlines, Elon Musk sent scathing message to Tesla investors.
[00:38:22] Elon Musk is not a chief executive officer, officer like the others.
[00:38:28] The billionaire is not hesitate to re-launch showdown with US Security Exchange Commission.
[00:38:41] Man, they really buried the fucking lead in this stupid piece of shit.
[00:39:30] By the way, once the show is up and running, the monologue will absolutely be back.
[00:39:35] I think it would be fun to actually just get a little room together.
[00:39:45] We have access to every community in New York City.
[00:39:51] Then we'll bring people in and just do like a day rate.
[00:40:06] I'm not making anybody jump through fucking hoops.
[00:40:23] And they have to get through it without eating.
[00:40:29] That'd be a good kind of game show aspect to the new show.
[00:40:42] But what if I see one that's fired and I just throw it out to you?
[00:40:52] Half of mobilized men in Russian regions sent home, commissar fired.
[00:41:02] So all the military age men had to report for duty.
[00:41:07] Because they're winning the war in Ukraine and they want to win even harder.
[00:41:12] According to Tucker, they're absolutely destroying over there.
[00:41:15] Now they're going to even really destroy your.
[00:41:22] If you looked into that, I asked you to.
[00:41:27] It's just people listening to this right now, they're saying they should call this the
[00:41:30] board stream too, because I'm fucking bored.
[00:41:38] I mean, people want to know what's going on at the studio.
[00:41:40] But we're not even saying that anymore.
[00:41:50] Russia is calling up all their military age men to Ukraine.
[00:41:57] So what's the angle we want to go with there?
[00:41:59] And now that they're out of now, the Russian men are in the way.
[00:42:33] Yeah, but Spanish everybody knows Spanish.
[00:42:57] That's, that's a crazy statement, dude.
[00:43:10] They like Jerry Lewis because it's like clowning.
[00:43:15] Here's why the French are incapable of making good art.
[00:43:17] And as far as like the Western moral is concerned in the modern era.
[00:43:22] Oh, that was gonna be a big broad brush stroke.
[00:43:24] They didn't do shit during World War II.
[00:43:29] They turn their fucking tails between their legs.
[00:43:31] They got their shit run through and then they became Nazis.
[00:44:13] And the opposite end of that spectrum is the Koreans, the reason Koreans can't make movies
[00:44:20] They've never had a respite from, like, they got too fucked by the Korean War.
[00:44:24] What do you mean they can't make movies?
[00:44:26] They can't, so they're all over the place.
[00:44:37] Genre epilepsy watching a Korean movie.
[00:44:41] I remember watching Old Boy in college and thinking it was the most badass movie I've
[00:44:48] The scene where he has the hammer and he kills, like, 300 guys.
[00:44:56] Have you seen that clip-nik of Hillary Clinton talking to the 100-year-old French clown?
[00:45:11] What's the movie that starts off and he's the clown on still.
[00:45:16] I just want to make fun of little boys.
[00:45:23] Wait, that's his plan for quitting karate as to do clowning?
[00:45:30] I want to do little boy comedy for homeless boys.
[00:45:33] This guy Steven Post, the guy who's in the TAFs episode, the gay guy.
[00:45:48] They have a TV show and they're studying comedy.
[00:45:52] Let's just read his- you can just read his Twitter then.
[00:45:56] You can read the Twitter's of all your downtown friends.
[00:46:01] What's the difference for a woman in comedy than a man in comedy?
[00:46:17] For women in comedy, I would love it if he just doesn't speak English at all.
[00:46:22] What's the difference for a woman in comedy than a man in comedy?
[00:46:29] A woman in comedy is okay, but clown is more difficult.
[00:46:37] He said, comedy is okay, but clown is more difficult.
[00:46:47] For a woman in comedy than a man in comedy can they do the same thing?
[00:47:01] You can hold your question wish for me dirty or your mother's deal of you.
[00:47:10] And if you have a girl, it's not your father's deal of you.
[00:47:24] This is literally what he says and she's nodding the entire time.
[00:47:29] He says, comedian is okay, but clown is more difficult.
[00:47:33] This is the question was, is it harder for women in comedy?
[00:47:38] He says, comedian is okay, but clown is more difficult.
[00:47:42] Because if you are a young boy, you go home, your costume is completely dirty or your mother
[00:47:49] If you are a girl, it is not sure your father still love you.
[00:47:53] So, then for a woman, it is more dangerous.
[00:48:05] About, yeah, I think we should probably watch this show, but I think it's Hillary and Chelsea
[00:48:12] Do you ever squash the beef with Chelsea?
[00:48:15] I did privately, but she didn't want to go public with it.
[00:48:22] Yeah, we got to, I think we'll have her as one of the first guests.
[00:48:27] She's really funny and her anecdotes are amazing.
[00:48:34] Well, you know, she's like, when I was a kid, Rush Limbaugh used to say that I looked
[00:48:41] She was in, she was in Beavis and Butte, do America.
[00:48:45] You know, Bert Reynolds saw that movie.
[00:48:49] Oh, this is one of them dog movies that they got.
[00:48:54] Yeah, they make these movies for dogs now.
[00:48:57] Yeah, they look the people, they all look like dogs.
[00:49:04] What's wrong with the, you know, it's like a drawing or something.
[00:49:07] Because I guess dogs like Bert Reynolds thinking that the concept of a cartoon is playboy,
[00:49:29] His dicks just coming up and hanging over his thigh.
[00:49:36] He has a very hairy chest, but I don't know.
[00:49:38] Maybe some of the gay listeners that we've picked up.
[00:49:41] Yeah, if you're a gay listener, what kind of vibe does Bert Reynolds have?
[00:49:47] I see the straight guy answer is like, of course that guy is a big dick.
[00:49:50] He's a cowboy from Texas with a mustache.
[00:49:54] But the gays might have a different answer.
[00:50:00] Yeah, let's look this up for our gay listeners.
[00:50:06] Former Dick Cabot show writer says she boned many of the guests.
[00:50:20] Sandra Harman, Hillary Clinton, you should interview this bitch.
[00:50:23] Sandra Harman sounds like she's had an interesting life.
[00:50:25] Writer and producer who worked in the TV in the 60s, 70s and 80s.
[00:50:29] She was once married the bozo, the clown.
[00:50:39] But is her position as a writer on the Dick Cabot's old late night talk show where she
[00:50:44] I would go back and just fuck this lady.
[00:50:49] Honestly, legitimately what if just that sight unseen.
[00:50:53] That opening sentence married the bozo, the clown and writer for the Dick Cabot show.
[00:50:58] And now in her old age, she's doing interviews about Bert Reynolds penis.
[00:51:04] I would step out of the time machine into her apartment, prestige style, and be like,
[00:51:11] My options were go back and stop Hitler or fuck this lady from an article that I stumbled
[00:51:19] And I'm like, look, right now you might seem like a weird freak.
[00:51:28] Sandra Harmon, you're getting piped down.
[00:51:31] Sandra, you're getting your back absolutely exfoliant.
[00:51:34] In the interview, she talks about how she boned many of the show's guests from rock stars
[00:51:38] like Jimi Hendrix to writers like Norman Mailer.
[00:51:41] Five guests a day, some of the most fabulous men in the world.
[00:51:44] That only happens on a talk show and Cavitt was a top notch talk show that was above the
[00:51:50] Dude, we have to do this kind of thing.
[00:51:52] I know, but it's crazy because the thing Cavitt show the guests were like, yeah, sure,
[00:51:57] And then Norman Mailer, that's kind of a Norman Mailer, talk about a guy that hoodwinked
[00:52:08] It's my dad if he had the confidence to shoot a woman.
[00:52:13] I guess he was in World War II, but everyone was.
[00:52:15] And then I don't know what he did over there.
[00:52:19] Anyways, anyway, so wait, who's she fuck?
[00:52:25] Cavitt regular Bert Reynolds in Harmon.
[00:52:26] Oh, I didn't know Bert Reynolds went on Dick Habittabunch.
[00:52:33] Oh, that's why they got the cameras here.
[00:52:48] Hey, where'd you start later, you everybody gets the fuck?
[00:52:51] Yeah, the one that was married to Bozo the Clown.
[00:52:55] At some point, I don't know what I touched, but it's to pay flew off.
[00:53:05] In spite of Bert's publicist giving her a road map to his head, she knew he wore a toupee.
[00:53:10] And as a joke, she sent me the glossy with red pencil marking, whereas toupee was attached.
[00:53:16] And where I should not tug in case I had sex with him.
[00:53:19] I had no intention of having sex with him, so I didn't pay much attention except to laugh.
[00:53:29] So when it says his publicist sent her this, this wasn't like just a quick email or a text
[00:53:37] And sent a diagram of how to fuck her client.
[00:53:46] I had no intention of having sex with him, and so I didn't pay much attention to it except
[00:53:52] Sterling Archer is crying, but Bert will always be Bert in our eyes.
[00:53:55] It's also going to be how Harvin says, Donald Sutherland was the best lover she ever bedded.
[00:54:00] I had just seen Joanna, and I read about Donald Sutherland.
[00:54:02] And when I first saw him for a pre-interview at the Plaza Hotel, I thought he was glorious.
[00:54:07] Before they parted, the Canadian actor took her hand and told her she was new by all.
[00:54:12] That evening he called her at her home.
[00:54:15] I've experienced pure joy only once in my life, and it was with him.
[00:54:18] I was 31 years old, and I knew finally what it was like to lie with the man whose mind
[00:54:24] I lay beside this lovely, shy giant and felt totally and absolutely satisfied as a woman.
[00:54:32] Hey, let me see a picture of this, Bish.
[00:54:34] I don't know, but now I don't want to fuck her.
[00:54:38] I'm going to go back a year before I beat up Donald Sutherland.
[00:54:51] That movie sounds cooler than it actually is.
[00:54:59] Well, the best of that three is obviously all the President's met.
[00:55:02] The two saw each other for the next year and a half.
[00:55:05] We should have been journalists and whatever the fuck this is.
[00:55:09] We should have been like Bernstein and Woodward.
[00:55:14] I like that you reordered the names in a very Semitic way.
[00:55:20] I don't know why they don't call them Bernstein and Woodward.
[00:55:25] It makes more sense to actually he did more work than Woodward.
[00:55:28] And that's all the evidence I need to know that the next Holocaust is right around the
[00:55:34] And in a lot of ways the coronavirus pandemic was like another Holocaust because who hates
[00:55:47] So for us, countless moments had to go right or at least not disaster long for five seconds
[00:55:53] This bitch was getting her pussy turned out by Donald Sutherland.
[00:56:01] He said he had just met Jane Fonda and he'd fallen in love.
[00:56:07] The one guy I picked or maybe I don't look now.
[00:56:10] The one guy picked left me for the Hollywood princess.
[00:56:29] If that bitch Rogue made it, Nicole was stoked.
[00:56:32] Wait, can I see a picture of this horror television writer that was married to Bozo the
[00:56:42] Folks, we're not going to, I'm not going to say the address of our offices, but if you
[00:56:51] know our landlords, could you have them turn on the radiator?
[00:57:05] And then, and then say to yourself, wow, I had no idea this bitch was married to Bozo
[00:57:34] I mean, it wasn't funny at all, but it was great.
[00:57:44] One writer for the show is fucking Donald.
[00:57:48] She's getting gangbanked by Bozo and Donald.
[00:57:53] Down in Sutherland, Bozo came by and I said, hey, Bozo, don't look now.
[00:58:05] He'll do the like, well, I guess they didn't like that.
[00:58:09] I guess they don't like puns on his own show.
[00:58:24] Yeah, that's the kind of that's your style.
[00:58:27] That's that's I mean, that's my body style.
[00:58:38] Here's here's the one you get this other one.
[00:58:56] That guy has looked 70 years old for 40 years.
[00:59:24] Both Norman and my mother affected me more.
[00:59:26] You seem to just want to do jokes about it.
[00:59:32] You did make a very funny joke about it when she was diagnosed.
[00:59:39] I said Nick, they found a growth in my mother's brain.
[00:59:44] They're saying it's two millimeters in diameter and you said, wow, I can't believe
[01:00:06] I just found out my mom had terminal cancer.
[01:00:10] It's like when we found out our friend died and that our other friend with a stutter was
[01:00:26] He was like, I'm thinking about moving back.
[01:00:33] I was like, that's how shitty Nashville is.
[01:00:38] You had two years there and you're like, I think I might move to Frederick, Maryland.
[01:01:09] Girl, they don't even know who this guy is.
[01:01:13] Just imagine a big ass black lady stuttering ass Donnie.
[01:01:42] Oh, just blowing up in a balloon animal.
[01:01:50] Bose, okay, but the office he said was my wife.
[01:01:52] I said, she's off with Donald Sutherland.
[01:02:08] And she's like, yeah, I'm pretty sad because my pussy is torn up to pieces completely inside
[01:02:20] And he goes, you should go fuck that whore from the DeKavich show.
[01:02:22] And she says, but doctor, I am that Sandra.
[01:02:36] I guess Sandra, Sandra, you wrote you wrote one of these.
[01:02:48] I bet you Sandra took at least one dog dick.
[01:02:52] Well, all right, folks, I got to get back to I got a paint.
[01:02:56] Guys finish up the last get these things for hanging out with us.
[01:03:10] I mean, I'm not going to get rid of the ladder, but that'll be the ladders will be out.
[01:03:22] But maybe this will be a good time to practice patience and forgiveness.
[01:03:28] Maybe you can maybe you can start liking the hosts of your favorite show.
[01:03:33] For you want to talk about this being a friendship simulator.
[01:03:40] Maybe maybe it doesn't need to be a laugh riot the whole time.
[01:03:44] I thought we got some good stuff off of Sandra's pussy.
[01:03:56] Oodani, Adam, you want to hit the joke one more time?