TAFS | Regular | 10/13/2022
[00:00:30] Yeah, thank you. And we're live. And we're live. Welcome to the Adam Friedlenshow, the Wednesday
[00:00:36] episode going up for free on feed. This is it. And if you like spending money on the show,
[00:00:42] you can go to patreon.com slash T A F S. And if that's not enough for you, you can come see me at
[00:00:47] Phoenix in Phoenix this weekend, Phoenix, Arizona at the stand up live, I think it's the name of the
[00:00:55] venue. We got a hustle to move those tickets. Phoenix, Arizona, I'll be there. And then next week,
[00:01:01] I'll be a Minneapolis at Acme Comedy. That's where I'm from here from Acme Comedy Club. Yes.
[00:01:08] You haven't sold out those shows yet? The shows, none of my shows sell out. I mean,
[00:01:13] the people the one that see me went to Austin. They all drove 15 hours to go to Austin.
[00:01:19] And now I'm struggling. Yeah, they drove by those tickets, folks. Come on. If you're listening
[00:01:27] to show right now, and you live in anywhere close to these two cities, buy the tickets.
[00:01:32] Phoenix, man. Phoenix. Why would you not buy the tickets?
[00:01:34] Phoenix, really nice. That's really nice. If you are a fan of the show, you're coming in hot on
[00:01:39] this one. I'm a little hot on the microphone. I think we think we got to turn that down.
[00:01:42] No, you're actually perfect. Adam, how are you? I'm not sick. That's for sure.
[00:01:48] You know, Nick, I was walking over to the studio for my apartment.
[00:01:54] You walked here from your apartment? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's actually not a bad walk.
[00:01:57] Not a bad walk. It's a nice walk. It's a nice walk. I'll tell you something.
[00:02:00] Any walk in New York City is a nice walk. I really fully believe that.
[00:02:04] Even the walk alive. That's right. Well, that's one of the best walks.
[00:02:08] What about the walk away from the World Trade Center after you've escaped on September the 11th,
[00:02:15] 2001? Speaking of walking, I saw something insane happen this morning.
[00:02:20] It was in the coffee shop waiting to get coffee and there was a woman in a wheelchair
[00:02:23] in front of me. Yeah. And she was talking to the baristas and she explained, she was explaining
[00:02:28] to them, they were like, how's it going? She's like, I don't know. Kind of having a rough day.
[00:02:31] I went outside this morning and someone had stolen my ramp.
[00:02:35] To get in and out of. They took her ramp. You know who did it? Who? Skaters. Why would they do that?
[00:02:43] I'm not going to do that. So they can do tricks off it. What do you think? Not the best.
[00:02:46] I'm telling a tragic story. That's heartless. I'm trying to find a comedy in them.
[00:02:53] So I was walking over to the studio and I, you know, you don't sound good for you telling me
[00:02:58] I'm sick this whole time. This is how I sound like on the radio. You sound gravelly. That's my voice.
[00:03:03] Go ahead. I'm walking over here and I see a ostensibly homeless man sleeping on a very
[00:03:12] large, like soft, plushy white couch. It's like a Creighton barrel couch. Oh, really? It's like,
[00:03:17] it's nice. It's nicer than anything in my apartment by far. And I'm looking at that. I'm like,
[00:03:22] gee, that's a nice couch. And I've wandered a couch for a while. And you got to be homeless now.
[00:03:27] Well, he kind of has a better situation. Then I call Adam because I told him I'm coming over.
[00:03:32] Well, you sit down on the couch next to him. And make the call. And I say, Adam, it's Steven.
[00:03:38] How are you? And Adam says, he sounds terrible on the phone. He says, I'm just waking up from
[00:03:44] it in a half. I don't know what's up or what's down. He's been sick for a day. He does it literally
[00:03:48] every month. He does this. I couldn't. I go. I missed the memo. Yeah, he gets everyone's.
[00:03:52] I'm not sick. I didn't say that I was sick. It was nap time. He can't tell that he's sick because
[00:03:57] his normal state is like kind of slouchy and called him 45 minutes later. Still sick. Yeah.
[00:04:03] Still nappy. I got a text just now says it's from the IRS. I bet you it really is that.
[00:04:10] Let's call him up. Let's get let's get Vikram from the IRS on the phone. Well, it's not from a phone
[00:04:15] number. It's from do you want me to read their email address? This is always amazing content.
[00:04:22] The phone content. Yeah, the phone stuff. The scam likely. Yeah. Well, I think that that really is
[00:04:30] the IRS. So yeah. So but to go back to Steven. No, no, guys, we have our friend Steven Gerou as
[00:04:36] often mentioned on the show also editor of all of our video content. The phone should be able to
[00:04:41] tell you if someone's fat that surprising the technology hasn't gotten to that point. Yeah.
[00:04:46] You know, and then it says ham likely. It's a big fat. So that's good.
[00:04:52] Adam, are you feeling okay? I'm feeling great. I've never felt better. I was kind of reluctant to
[00:04:59] come in here after I taught you on the phone. You don't sound good. I feel great, dude. I
[00:05:04] started feeling a little bit tired yesterday. And then Nick, I called Nick. He was also feeling
[00:05:11] tired. I was definitely like I woke up yesterday. My nose was like, I was like, I was like, not
[00:05:17] congested, but you know, I was just hurts. Yeah. And then like I slept it off and then I feel fine.
[00:05:23] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, it made me sleep enough. You know, because usually I only sleep like four
[00:05:30] hours a night. You got the sleep you need to. Yeah, I got a full eight hour sleep. I wake up.
[00:05:35] My face looks fine. My skin is not all fucking pallet. You're good. Yeah. And then, you know,
[00:05:39] it's like this, I used to have this every night. And now I just never get that kind of sleep anymore.
[00:05:44] So you got to get sick all the time. I don't know, man. I just want to sleep.
[00:05:48] Maybe you can have like a terminal illness or something. No, no, you'll just be healthy.
[00:05:53] You'll get eight hours a night. Yeah, I'd prefer not to have a terminal illness.
[00:05:56] Well, a lot of people say life is a terminal illness. A sperminal illness. That'd be nice.
[00:06:01] HIV. That'd be nice. Anyway, so yeah, I'm not sick. I don't want to step on any toes there,
[00:06:09] though. You guys were locked in. What does it look like to watch the master's that work?
[00:06:14] I've never seen you do this. What does it look like? It's very exciting to watch two
[00:06:17] geniuses of their craft podcast. You guys couldn't look like you're phoning it more.
[00:06:21] We're not phoning it. You're not phoning it. You're like yawning over here. You're sick.
[00:06:25] I've been working all that. Yeah. And I get sick all the time. It doesn't count as sick anymore.
[00:06:30] It's you're just common. That's just your state. I'm just sick. I don't have COVID. Don't worry
[00:06:34] about it. I did have dinner. Could one guy be. I did have dinner last night with.
[00:06:40] Look at this guy's cock and ass with my girlfriend's grandfather.
[00:06:45] How sexy could one guy be? Boy, I'd like that guy to fuck me.
[00:06:54] Spitting my face. Bend me over and call me a girl. Boo. Boo. Say sing the song normal.
[00:07:04] Ain't life a kick in the pants? Is that what that is or no? I was. I was in Frank Sinatra.
[00:07:09] It sounds like it. No. Is that what this song is? I don't know. Yeah.
[00:07:12] Yeah. You know, they called him the chairman of the board. Carrot top. Carrot top.
[00:07:19] Well, Carrot top was originally in the rat pack. You know that was him, John Lovitz,
[00:07:26] Frank Sinatra. They had, what was his name? William Hung from American Idol. She bangs.
[00:07:36] They had a little boy Ricky Martin raped. The little boy Ricky Martin raped his nephew.
[00:07:42] He denies that. He denies it. He denies it. Well, why would he say? Yeah, I did it.
[00:07:48] I'm just saying. I'm Ricky Martin and no one can stop me. He denies it. I just want everybody.
[00:07:54] No one will ever stop Ricky Martin. The Prince of Puerto Rico. He's from Puerto Rico. He sure is.
[00:08:02] I didn't know that. He's a treasure. Treasure of the island. They love him.
[00:08:07] They called them, they called them, they called the gesture of Tortuga.
[00:08:17] Why'd you look at me like that when you said that? He thought it was going to crush.
[00:08:21] He thought you were going to be like, Adam, that's the best thing I've ever heard.
[00:08:24] You made a funny joke earlier on this episode, but I forget it. I forgot what it was and we blew
[00:08:29] over. We're a word three minutes into this. Yeah, I think you made a good one like three minutes ago.
[00:08:33] What are you talking about? Now you're criticizing me at work. I bring you to work. Criticism is
[00:08:38] typically a negative. No, but the way it is, it sounded like a critical compliment, you know?
[00:08:45] No, I'm saying you made a really good joke and I can't remember what it is. No, thanks brother.
[00:08:50] Yeah. What do you got going on in the rest of the night?
[00:08:55] I thought we were hanging out. We are hanging out. I thought we were there too, but you came in
[00:08:58] and it seemed as if you would get this over with. He was being real Hollywood. Yeah.
[00:09:04] We walked in here. Well, I've never been asked to do a podcast before. You've done this podcast
[00:09:08] before you did the old one. Yeah, I've never asked, but been asked to do the Adam Freeland show.
[00:09:12] Yeah, welcome. Thank you. Honestly, I really appreciate you guys bringing me on the show.
[00:09:15] Does it feel very different? It does. It's really nice to be doing it with you too.
[00:09:20] You like the space. Look how close we are to the being done here.
[00:09:25] The folks at home really don't know what I'm looking at right now.
[00:09:30] Yeah, yeah. They really don't know what I'm looking at.
[00:09:32] Yeah. It is, there's a surprise in store for them. Yeah.
[00:09:39] It looks amazing. Thank you. I really have no idea. I said this when I walked in, but it smells
[00:09:44] great in here. Yeah, I thought it's, I think it smells good too. Jordan was worried about it,
[00:09:47] but she works for these chemicals all the time. She? Yeah, it's like, well, that sounds like
[00:09:51] it's going to be a you problem. Yeah. I'm just a guy enjoying one cigarette.
[00:09:57] I'm one of those kids. I grew up, I like to sniff four on nine and
[00:10:02] yeah, a huffer cleaning product. Yeah, men's asses. Okay, Adam. You can get a little high
[00:10:10] off that. I did not say that. He's a little, he's a little big in his britches. Why? Over the
[00:10:16] Adam Freeland show. Oh, yeah, of course. I can't open enough. Yeah. He's taking shots at everyone
[00:10:21] now. We got to reel it in and I got to go. Adam can Adam can go at me and that's, I love him.
[00:10:26] Oh, okay. This is like a, this is like a dog. This is like a dog.
[00:10:29] Oh, okay. The animals at the zoo. So listen, if there's a show called Seinfeld and you made a
[00:10:33] billion dollars off of that, how are you not going to piss in home with people's mouths?
[00:10:37] You know, how are you not going to be the king of comedy? It is a new you.
[00:10:43] Has anyone ever called you slime feld? Yeah, of course they have. Okay. And it hurts every time.
[00:10:49] It's not a coffee. You're like a, you're like a boneless Seinfeld. You're like a gooey Seinfeld.
[00:10:55] Oh, the truth is he didn't have bones either. What's the ghost in ghost busters that just eats
[00:10:59] all the food and then shits it out immediately. Start something. Yeah. Slimer. Slimer.
[00:11:07] Start with it. Yeah. It's slimer. Yeah. Slimer. That's like, oh, I did figure out a way, a way to
[00:11:12] fix my posture. How exoskeleton. Oh, that is cool. Get a new body. Like a, like the super
[00:11:18] soldiers of the future. I get like a mech suit. That's, they have that now where they make these
[00:11:23] mech suits for soldiers. And it's like, why don't I just make a robot? Mm hmm. Yeah. I don't
[00:11:27] understand why some poor kid from Oklahoma has to sit inside the mech and then get kidnapped and
[00:11:33] have his great soft. Yeah. So great. He should lose a job. What do you mean? To a robot. I'm just
[00:11:39] losing the job to a robot anyways. Yeah. But he gets to go to college now. Yeah, you're right.
[00:11:44] I guess I'm bad at the DSA stuff. You lose. You lost your way. Damn. What is it? What does it
[00:11:50] stand for? DSA Democratic Socialists of America. You couldn't come up with a funny answer. No,
[00:11:56] but Stephen might want to learn about socialism. You know, I can give him a pamphlet or something.
[00:12:00] You couldn't do a joke on the comedy show. No, we've always made jokes about it. Dick sucking
[00:12:04] association. I mean, there's, it's on a million times. So I came in here really excited to show
[00:12:09] the show association. That's way better. Yeah. Was it? Yeah. The guy I can't believe I didn't
[00:12:16] tell you this. Well, I woke up from my nap. I said, I gotta get what got to wake up. Got to walk
[00:12:21] outside walk around the block, wake up. I got a milkshake. They have these damn peach milkshakes.
[00:12:28] Over at over at the chick-full-ay, right? Okay. They got on for a milkshake. I'm trying to do it
[00:12:34] like a... Yeah, keep going. Anic Doad on a talk show. It's good. Okay. They said he's the host of
[00:12:40] the show. It's like Conan sitting there and he's like, my, my, the laces in my shoes weren't, you
[00:12:46] know, they were kind of like, they were kind of afraid. So I went to get new ones and then there's
[00:12:50] just like, Dermit Mulroney sitting there and this blank face. Yeah. Just classic. I was like, I
[00:12:55] thought I had to, uh, hey, I thought it was coming on here. I thought she would have a picture. Yeah.
[00:12:59] A picture. I don't know one Dermit Mulroney. I don't even know what it says name. What is it?
[00:13:04] Dermit Mulroney? What is he being in? I don't know. Because there's, there's Dermit,
[00:13:08] there's Dermit McDellrit and then Delrit Derm, Der Milan. There's Dermit Mulroney, Irish guys
[00:13:15] that have names like that. Dermit Mulroney, Dermit McDellery, right? Dylan McDermott.
[00:13:21] Dylan McDermott. That's who I had in mind. There's Dylan McDermott. There's Dermit Mulroney and
[00:13:26] then Ed Burns. Was one of those guys in line in front of you at the Peach, uh, milkshake? Okay.
[00:13:33] It says, so I guess when you're a franchise owner, uh, at a, at a Chick-fil-A, they call you an
[00:13:40] operator. So they say this is, this is the franchise operator and it says on the receipt at the Chick-fil-A,
[00:13:48] this, uh, Chick-fil-A operated by Joshua Balls. I swear to God, that's why they called a Peach
[00:13:55] milkshake because he puts his nut sack in it. Joshua Balls. The man's name is Joshua Balls.
[00:14:01] And he dips his peach in? I didn't know if you would do it, but you did it.
[00:14:05] Well, why would I bring that story up on a comedy podcast unless there was a great
[00:14:09] punchline. Can I tell you, can I tell you a story now? Yes. But it says operated by Joshua Balls.
[00:14:15] That's what I liked. I, um, let's hear your story. Well, after I called you and before I called
[00:14:21] you again, I stopped over at a bar just to get a Guinness. I like a Guinness after work. Yeah.
[00:14:26] Classic man. Full bar. And it's, you know, big bar. You got a repeater, McAnus. I like that bar,
[00:14:32] though. You showed me that. Mickey Ains. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You went over to McAnus. Yeah. What's
[00:14:37] this place called? Anus Mickey's? That's a good bar though that you really showed me a good bar.
[00:14:42] Yeah. It's a good bar. I went to Old Town. You ever been there? Yeah. That's a good bar. It took
[00:14:45] the Old Town Road. And I got a, um, I got a Guinness, but it was, it's a full bar, right?
[00:14:55] Um, so there's nowhere to sit. Why chicks? Exactly. So I ended up right behind this blonde chick.
[00:15:02] Oh, I like it. And she is in a stool in front of me. Okay. Can I tip off the, uh,
[00:15:07] my mouth? Yeah. And, um, can I tip off the bitch? And, um, age, please.
[00:15:13] I'll tell you in a second. Oh, that's part of the part of the story.
[00:15:16] Oh. And I'm, um, trying to give her a wide berth, you know, be chivalrous.
[00:15:20] Why is she, she's giving birth at the bar? No, I'm just trying not to like, it's a crowded bar.
[00:15:26] And I'm not trying to like crowd her while I order my beer. Oh, I normally I put a penis to the,
[00:15:30] penis to, to thigh. I didn't want to do that. At least not yet. I don't want to go there yet.
[00:15:37] Okay. I want to at least get my beer, get a couple sips in. So anyways, I sneak my arm in.
[00:15:42] You ever do that move? You sneak your arm in between the two people to just be like,
[00:15:45] I'm here with a 20 dollar bill. I want to get a beer. I eventually the bartender notices me.
[00:15:50] I get my beer and I'm sitting there sipping it for a minute. And her companion,
[00:15:56] he leaves to go to the bathroom. Oh, and I'm thinking this is maybe my chance to strike.
[00:16:04] The condor. Yeah. And, um, the conda pussy condor. Would you, would you believe it?
[00:16:09] She kind of swivels in her stool. Oh my God. When I'm kind of looking her way.
[00:16:17] And that blonde hair just kind of moves out of the way. And I just see a five o'clock shadow,
[00:16:22] 60 year old man. And, um, I look at him and I go, uh, hi, my name's Stephen. And he looks at me,
[00:16:29] he goes, Joseph, Joseph balls. Really? Well, the last partner. Oh, okay. Yeah. It was a guy.
[00:16:36] Met the inventor of the peach milk. Yeah, that's a guy. He met the operator on a second.
[00:16:41] Joseph balls of everyone. He's every one. Joshua balls. It was Joshua balls. I've got a bad memory.
[00:16:47] Well, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I thought the, I thought the punchline was great.
[00:16:50] It's like Joshua tree. I thought the payoff was incredible. Wait, it's a tree. It's a big
[00:16:54] parody. It really wasn't. It's an old fucking guy. It was an old guy. I really don't know.
[00:16:58] Behind. It looked like a sexy man or a sexy lady. I mean, let's go.
[00:17:01] Let's go. Lady. Let's go. Lady. Sorry. I came out. Sorry. I came out waiting for the train yesterday.
[00:17:06] Yeah. In the morning and this like, uh, this woman walks by and, you know, she's like,
[00:17:12] nice looking lady, clean, you know, and in my head, I'm like, you know, why, why, yeah,
[00:17:16] date somebody like that instead of like, uh, you know, somebody with schizophrenia or,
[00:17:21] yeah, you know, I don't know. Just someone who thinks that the government's trying to kill.
[00:17:24] Yeah. You know, like crazy people. Yeah. Yeah. Then she's got like an ice coffee and the lid
[00:17:30] drops on the ground. And then she looks at me and she does this like, Oh geez, you know,
[00:17:33] I'm like, no, it's, it's probably fine. It's only like a half second. She's like, yeah,
[00:17:37] should I risk it? And then what I said, I was like, yeah, who gives a fucking shit about anything?
[00:17:42] Nick, why did you say that? That could have been a meat cue. I led too much, too much me in that.
[00:17:47] Oh my God. You could have, you could have got to do it. This woman just winces.
[00:17:52] You could have got her number gotten met up for a drink or a coffee and gotten like five
[00:17:56] minutes into the day before doing that. Yeah, that's true. You could just blow it. Yeah.
[00:18:01] No, I just cut out a 20 years. It's a good morning. I'm going to get my show.
[00:18:08] What's going on? How you feel? I feel fine. Yeah. You know, but it's just, we all, we're all
[00:18:12] fine. I feel great. I feel not sick for sure. Yeah. We're all okay. You know, that's how it should
[00:18:20] be. Yeah. Yeah, I guess we are. We watched Michael the other night. John Travolta. Yeah.
[00:18:27] He's an angel. Who directed that one? John Travolta. Oh, really? Actually, God directed it. Yeah.
[00:18:34] It was Nora Ephron. Nora Ephron wrote it. She didn't direct it. I think she did. Really?
[00:18:38] I think she did. Wow. So you guys get together after work and just watch movie. No, during work,
[00:18:43] actually. Yeah. You think I sound sick? It's part of work. It was a business expense.
[00:18:47] You may sound a little sick. Really? Yeah. But it's probably from your lifestyle of
[00:18:54] fucking 65 year old men with women's hair. That reminded me of, we had a joke once called the Joe
[00:19:01] trains joke. You ever heard that joke? Yeah. I think you, you run this one. We're not going to do it.
[00:19:06] You love the show. No, no, no. You're, you're on a comedy podcast. I'm not, I'm not a comedian.
[00:19:10] You want to tell one of your jokes. You want to try it out for a while, please. You love this bit.
[00:19:14] Yeah. I honestly don't. It's really not that good. Continue. Okay. No, no. Why would you say that?
[00:19:20] It's good. It's good. It's good. I'd rather not now. So we used to have, right now, I'm looking at
[00:19:26] two guys looking at their phone. No, I actually have to pull up the reads for this week. So I got to
[00:19:31] take a look at this. Adam's just chatting. Can I read it? Yeah. Once we get in. I've never got
[00:19:38] you can read it. I've never got to do that before. I would love you to read it.
[00:19:40] You sound a little insincere, but I really would like to do that. No, we got some great
[00:19:47] partners. You know, we were, I'm a big sports guy. I'm hoping that after the read,
[00:19:52] it's like halftime and we come out and have a real good game plan. We'll do some half time
[00:19:57] adjustments called Coach Spolstra. And we really, really bring it. Yeah. We'll maybe play you at the
[00:20:03] four. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I'm trying to think some other stuff that's been going on in my life. How
[00:20:11] about you? That's not your job. Yeah. You're the guest we could ask about it. I'm too. We're
[00:20:15] supposed to. I, to be honest, I forgot I was on a show. I was just trying to talk to you guys.
[00:20:19] That's how you get in the zone. There's got to be a lot of just chilling until it feels like
[00:20:26] just hanging out. And then that's when you're ready to broadcast. Yeah. So you have anything more
[00:20:34] than this Joseph Ball's guy. This is Joshua Ball's Joshua Ball's. That's a great name. No,
[00:20:40] that's pretty much all I got. But you know, he probably overcame a lot growing up. Yeah. He
[00:20:46] became a business owner. I think if you own a particularly franchise as busy as that one,
[00:20:50] in Manhattan, New York, he's probably doing quite well. What kind of guy I was. I think
[00:20:56] Mrs. Ball's is pretty happy with him. Nice. Big part. It was on the mic, but it was very good.
[00:21:06] Yeah, man. You know, that's cool. I haven't seen you sound like that.
[00:21:12] Well, yeah, man. Hey, look, it's the simple things in life. Yeah. I should have tried that
[00:21:16] with that lady. Check this out. I think you did just right. Yeah. He was a fucking kid. Yeah.
[00:21:23] Have you ever been a young girl or guy on the train? No, I creep people out, dude.
[00:21:31] It's hard. It's a hard venue to start that kind of conversation. Well, I'm never, when I'm like
[00:21:36] out and about, I'm so fuck, I'm like gone. Mm hmm. That if I'm presented with like a like a
[00:21:43] situation, I mean, I can't even talk to fucking like, you know, like, I'm at the store and they're
[00:21:49] like, do you want to recede? And I'm like, no, do you? You know, like, I'm not thinking my brain
[00:21:54] doesn't work, you know? So if a woman's like, hey, nice shirt. I'm like, you're, um, bye.
[00:22:05] Sorry. I don't know how to handle this. I tell her nice, nice tits, nice breasts.
[00:22:13] They're having a meal once when I was walking to your house back in bedside and I, I, I,
[00:22:17] I wandered around, I wandered around another hour. I dropped. You were very excited. She approached
[00:22:24] me. Yeah. And like, was flirting with me. And I totally dropped the ball and then I told Adam
[00:22:30] the story and he's like, you got to find her. And I just wandered the neighborhood for like two hours.
[00:22:35] But it was during COVID, she saw Steven. Yeah. And then she took her mask off. Yeah. Yeah. And
[00:22:41] smiled at me to speak to him and speak to me, which is basically like showing your breasts.
[00:22:47] Back in those days. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Back in the back of the never founder. Never found her.
[00:22:53] Never found her. You should have put one of those Apple tags. Yeah, that just slipped one of those
[00:22:59] into her pussy. Yeah. I'll make my bitch wear an Apple tag and a pussy. I'm sorry. Could you
[00:23:06] put this in your, could you slide this in there? I'm not going to say it twice, but you better put
[00:23:11] this in. I need to find you again. Yeah. Maybe she's listening right now. Today's episode is
[00:23:16] brought to you by my bookie, folks, Adam, what's, what's going on? Nothing. You're right. No. What
[00:23:23] was that? I just had like a nothing. Don't worry about it. My bookie.ag. My folks, sports is, is
[00:23:33] happening like crazy, like fucking crazy right now. The NBA season is about to start. We got the
[00:23:39] MLB playoffs and NFL season is going on right now. I don't have enough fucking time in my week for
[00:23:46] all these sports. Steven, how about you? I can't tell if you're acting or actually reading it.
[00:23:50] I'm not reading. I'm just talking about my experience. Yeah. We've, we've both experienced a lot of
[00:23:54] sports out there. We both experienced this website. Yeah. But I'm not satisfied just watching sports.
[00:24:03] I want a little bit more action, more action than the gladiators on the fields, sweating on each
[00:24:09] other, grabbing each other and competing at the top of their physical, whatever. Peaks. You just made
[00:24:18] me think of something. Can we pause? Whatever. Yeah. My bookie.com or my bookie.ag.com.
[00:24:24] Come town or come town. Wait, wait, wait, wait. We'll get back to it. We'll get back to it. We'll
[00:24:26] get back to it. Continue. Continue. Yeah. Really quick. Yeah. My friends got a father. It's a little
[00:24:30] sick and he was like in the hospital. Yeah. And he called him today at lunch and he was talking to
[00:24:36] him. And he was talking about how he got this bath from one of the nurses. And he described her as
[00:24:42] like the perfect woman. He was like everything he ever wanted in a woman. And he described her as
[00:24:47] like an American gladiator slash MMA type fighter. And then he started talking about she was what is
[00:24:53] how is the slash necessary? Well, she's like a bodybuilder slash muscle lady. Yeah, she's muscular.
[00:25:00] And she was slathering them down and he got into it. He's like, she like grabbed him. She's grabbing
[00:25:06] his, um, the perfect woman, the perfect woman. And I didn't mean to interrupt. No, no, continue.
[00:25:11] But that is basically the story. It's a guy in a bathtub and a muscular nurse rubs soap all over
[00:25:21] his nude body. And he couldn't get a heart on. But in his mind, he was calming all over her.
[00:25:27] Because he's too sick. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's life, man.
[00:25:32] Can you imagine at the end of at the at the very end, I can't even imagine taking a shower.
[00:25:38] Yeah. Let alone having somebody else clean. I don't do it enough. The showers,
[00:25:43] whenever I do it, I'm like, I got to do this more. What do you how often do you shower?
[00:25:47] I don't know. Probably not every day. Probably four times a week. That seems okay. You should
[00:25:53] do it every day. I feel like you can do whatever you want, Adam. I know. But like when I'm in there,
[00:25:59] I'm like, I should do this more often. But then do it. This is great. Yeah. But like,
[00:26:03] you got to go. You got to go to the bathroom and take your clothes off. And you got to go to my
[00:26:07] bookie.g. And you got to be alone and check out the spreads and prop beds. I think I miss
[00:26:12] being, you know, I'm scared. I'm afraid to be alone. There are a few better life decisions than getting
[00:26:16] into sports gambling. That's true, Steven. I honestly think it can bring a lot of entertainment to
[00:26:24] your life. That's right. And that's why I do it. You could bet on anything anywhere, anytime.
[00:26:31] And you could double your first deposit plus a $10 casino chip. When you go to my bookie.g,
[00:26:40] they got a sports book. They got live betting. They got a casino and they got racing. You don't
[00:26:45] need an app for it. It's a website. You can pull it up on your damn phone. They got a mobile view.
[00:26:49] So you can use it on your phone. And you can play and you can win. You can bet with Bitcoin.
[00:26:56] You can get 150% casino bonus up to $750. You get 100% sports welcome bonus. They have casino
[00:27:04] games, table games, live casino, slot games, like games where it's like you spin it and ship.
[00:27:13] And of course they have live odds on NBA, NCAA football, NHL, MLB, and the NFL. My favorite
[00:27:23] football, the gridiron. At the game, you got to get a feeling no problem. You can bet from
[00:27:30] anywhere, anytime at the all new my bookie mobile betting platform. With the my bookie mobile
[00:27:35] platform, you'll enjoy the safety and convenience of at home betting when you're on the go. Try
[00:27:41] it out today and you'll never miss another winning bet. So favorite athletes always strive to put
[00:27:48] themselves in a winning position. It's about time you did too with my bookie. My bookie has the
[00:27:53] biggest online selection of odds and contests to fill all of your sports betting needs anytime
[00:27:58] anywhere. But on the NFL, MLB playoffs are play for a share of big cash prizes in the weekly black
[00:28:05] jack tournaments. So they got regular gambling also. If you're like sports nerd or cowboy,
[00:28:11] we got blackjack. If you've been waiting for the right time to get in on the action,
[00:28:15] the time is now make your winning move today. You're a loser, small dick. Why are you looking
[00:28:20] at me? Why are you looking at me when you say that? No, he's just asking the audience. You
[00:28:24] function as the audience. Yeah. Maybe it's time to turn your life around. Take your pit and tire
[00:28:30] paycheck and play blackjack at my bookie.ag. Sign up at my bookie and use promo code. And they
[00:28:36] gave I think they finally gave us TAFS. Whoo. These promo code TAFS and claim your deposit match of any
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[00:28:51] new light and make this season a winning one. Bet anything anytime, anywhere, wearing anything,
[00:28:57] wearing anything. That's true. Because it's a website. Yeah, you can just get home. Yeah.
[00:29:02] Wearing it. I want to honestly, I do want to thank, what is it, my bookie.com? I want to thank
[00:29:09] that. I want to thank.ag. I've never done one of those, but I want to thank you.fag for your
[00:29:14] support in the show. Thank you. I want to thank them for that. I wouldn't be here without that.
[00:29:18] Thank you for thanking them. Yeah, because
[00:29:25] just that they noticed your show. Yeah. And would do that to me. I found you guys that would mean a
[00:29:30] lot to me. You meant a lot to me. That was sweet of me. And a lot to do that. To do such a thing.
[00:29:35] It was really nice of them. And they picked us up. They chose us out of nowhere. Well, that's
[00:29:40] I'm saying. We were just plucky upstarts. We were just kids with a dream. I had appreciate it. We
[00:29:45] were just kids. Just just fags by Patti Smith. Yeah, we were just fags. You read that book? Yeah,
[00:29:51] just about a couple of fags. That's the book I like to try my leaves and you ever do that?
[00:29:58] Like you get like a flower. You pluck it in the summer. You press flowers. You press a flower.
[00:30:03] And then the fall, it's dried. I like to use that book to do that. Adams book just yids. Yeah.
[00:30:10] How's your Jewish holiday season going Adam? No, it's over. It's done. Well, it's too
[00:30:15] coat right now. I was walking over here. All my stories are about walking over here. I'm walking
[00:30:20] through Union Square. Let's hear it. About 20 people walk by these Jewish guys that have like the,
[00:30:25] what does it called? The Lulov and the Etrus. Yeah, and they're waiting for a Jewish guy.
[00:30:29] And they like 20 people pass by them. And then they see me and they're like, I'm sorry, you're
[00:30:33] Jewish. How do they know? How do they know? Yeah, we were talking about this on the last episode.
[00:30:39] Yeah, everybody. No, they're 20, 20 people walk by that they ignored. Yeah, how do they know?
[00:30:44] Do they ask you? Steven, once or twice, they've asked. You know, perhaps when I had that huge
[00:30:49] beard, they asked when I had that huge nose they were. When I was wearing the big nose and I was
[00:30:54] dressed up like them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Clenching my money. Jews are in the news right now. Jews are in
[00:31:03] the news. Jews are being the news. Here we go. This is my favorite segment. There's a lot going on.
[00:31:10] Kanye West has said the thing. We're all thinking. No, Nick. Oh. So now Kanye West is done. Black
[00:31:18] excellence has finally gone too far. Jews are in the news. What do you think of all this Adam?
[00:31:27] Well, at first I was shocked. And then I was scared. The Jewish music producers who have
[00:31:32] exploited blacks for 50 years have finally said whoops. As Kanye West has gone off. Yes, he has
[00:31:40] gone too far this time. This is the first time he's ever gone too far. They're all currently gathered
[00:31:45] on David Gefens Yacht, sailing to Israel. When I heard the Kanye West statement that slavery was
[00:31:54] a choice, I said, that's a little off. But we can have a second. Yeah. Let's hear him out. Yeah.
[00:32:00] When I saw him put on a make America great again hat, I said, I think this is a symbol of hate.
[00:32:07] This is scary. But you know what? Let's just hear him out here. Everybody deserves a fourth chance.
[00:32:16] Everyone deserves a second chance. But then I heard that he wants to go Def Con 3 on the
[00:32:22] Jewish community, the global Jewish community. And Stephen, that's where I wanted to draw a line
[00:32:29] in the sentence. Sure. Just say, Kanye, if you cross over this line, you know what's going to happen.
[00:32:35] We're going to use white phosphorus in a refugee camp in Gaza. No, that's not funny. That's not funny.
[00:32:44] That's not funny. A lot of stuff in poor taste on this one. Yeah, I'm sorry. Here's what I want to say.
[00:32:54] I like to talk to him. I like to swash the beef. I like to use this show in this platform as a place
[00:33:02] where we have a diversity of voices that are celebrated. And I'd like to invite him on my show
[00:33:09] to talk to me, to talk to Nick, who I'm sure will be an impartial media. I should get into debate
[00:33:16] moderation. We should have you debate people on the show. I think that'd be a not a bad idea.
[00:33:21] Yeah. Just say, so Kanye, you said that you can't be anti-Semitic because black people are also Jews.
[00:33:27] But you're also saying all these bad things about the Jews. Are you saying that black people are bad also?
[00:33:34] If I, as an impartial third year, it's kind of confusing. I guess what I might take away from this
[00:33:40] entire debate is to mean that both blacks and Jews are bad if I understand you correctly.
[00:33:45] What if we got rid of all the identity in all the, you know, you can't do that in a Dr. Seuss sort of way?
[00:33:51] Yeah. And we're all just kind of like, you know, out here and we're all out here.
[00:33:55] Out here. Out here. Out here. And doing our thing. Yeah. I'm out here.
[00:34:01] Yeah. I'm out here. And we're just, we're just hanging, banging and having fun together.
[00:34:12] Yeah. I think, I think that's a great idea. You know, and I would like this show to transcend race.
[00:34:17] I'd like when people come in and walk in this studio for them to check their race at the door.
[00:34:22] Yeah. Not just race though. They didn't point that. Just race. No. Just race. Just race. No.
[00:34:27] And gender. I'd like this all to be maybe put on full skin suits. We're like, yeah, like what
[00:34:36] Kanye West has been wearing at fashion weeks and stuff like that. Like those black stockings or
[00:34:42] Nick and I have been keeping up to date on that. We know what you're talking about. Yeah. I'm completely
[00:34:46] lost. I was sitting here wondering if I was having a stroke because there were words coming out of
[00:34:51] your mouth. But oh, I didn't know where I was going. I kind of started on that. I was kind of
[00:34:58] kind of hoping that I would just quietly retired into thinking about soundproofing options from
[00:35:02] the side of the room. What do you think we're going to do? I think maybe we'll just like
[00:35:05] add grade up on these walls. Yeah. Because this is, that echo is significant. No, but I think also
[00:35:11] when this comes down, this will absorb a little bit. Oh, that's your opinion. Yeah, that's my
[00:35:18] professor. You know, he's entitled to his opinion. I'm trying to talk really close to the microphone
[00:35:22] to like limit it. Yeah, no, this is how we're going to limit what the echo. Oh, no, it's honestly
[00:35:28] the microphone. So, look, the podcast is dying. The podcast isn't going to be a thing for much.
[00:35:33] Thanks for having me on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are the ones you're here to kill. These are the
[00:35:37] last days of the media. Very soon. Very soon. This will be, I tell you, I was so honored when I got
[00:35:42] the call. I tried to play cool, but we are so honored just maybe potentially. I thought you said you're
[00:35:47] too damaged in your personal life, potentially a single week away from the debut of the Adam
[00:35:54] Friedlach. No, I potentially. You say that, right? Well, yeah, by Monday, this will be done. Like,
[00:35:59] everything's done. No, that's not true. Then we need who's going to be. Then there's,
[00:36:05] what? No, then we need sound. Yes, we do need sound. Yes, that's good. I know I was coming to a
[00:36:11] production lead three or four weeks away from the premiere. That's fine. The folks, again, folks
[00:36:16] at home, folks at home, you got to wait it out. You got to wait it out because what they have in
[00:36:22] store for you is special. Also, go buy tickets for Nick's upcoming show in Phoenix, Phoenix,
[00:36:28] Arizona, and folks in Minneapolis. Come on, come on out. I know you're a native son of Minneapolis.
[00:36:35] From there, you got to come out and support Nick. Minneapolis, very lazy name for a city. Why?
[00:36:40] Indianapolis, same thing. Oh, right. It's Indiana and this is Indiana, Papalas. It's Greek.
[00:36:48] Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, it means Indiana City. Texas has a Texas city, which is probably
[00:36:53] even lazier early named. That's a good word. Texas City, Texas. I guess Oklahoma is going to
[00:37:01] know New York, New York is like that. Yeah, there's a lot of them. Let's go through some of the
[00:37:06] capitals, state capitals. That's always a second minute of California. Watch that. Watch Adam
[00:37:12] go. This is a big shot. Washington City, Nevada. You got Phoenix, Arizona. Washington. Washington
[00:37:18] is Olympia. Nevada. Carson City. I just said it. Okay. All right. Sorry. So Delaware. Dover.
[00:37:29] Okay. What are some other states, Stephen? I can't think of a single one.
[00:37:33] Hmm. Delaware. You said Delaware. Dover. Dover. Rhode Island. Rhode Island. Providence.
[00:37:43] West Virginia. Charleston. West. West Rhode Island. No. West Virginia is, could you believe it?
[00:37:49] I'd rather be talking to Joseph Balls at the bar right now. Yeah. It's Joshua Balls.
[00:37:55] Well, we're finding for how many fucking times we're trying to find Adam's voice.
[00:37:58] You know? He's picking his nose. You pick your nose so often. Yeah. And then he either wipes it.
[00:38:04] You ask me how many times he's there. He'd be better if he just ate it. He's there. He just
[00:38:10] picks his nose and then he's always wiping it on his pants. He's out my house. He's picking his
[00:38:14] nose. Like, oh, how often do you do that? He goes all day. And I go, what do you do with it? And he's
[00:38:18] like, we either wiping on his pants or eating it. I'm like, how old are you? What? It's just not a
[00:38:24] normal thing for me. Yeah, but you know what isn't normal is being honest. Okay. And at the end of
[00:38:29] the day, I'm going to do that with my friends. Okay. Showers three to four times a week and
[00:38:34] picks his nose all day every day. Yeah, because I don't have the shower to clean my nose. Because
[00:38:39] I forget right now, it's just like, held up. Yeah. It's ready to go. What is what is that in there?
[00:38:46] In what? My nose? Yeah. What do you got yours? Quite a bit. Yeah, me too. Why is it that the
[00:38:52] bigger they are, Steven? You know, you got this in common with me. You got a big nose.
[00:38:58] You know, the bigger the catchphrase is the guy ever chick-fil-a. He says, the bigger they are,
[00:39:02] the Joseph the Balls. The Joseph the Balls. The people ask me how I own now. I've managed to buy
[00:39:10] my own chiffel. I'm so shocked. The bigger they are, the Joseph the Balls. I can't. He's a Joseph
[00:39:17] a Jack. The bigger the nose. It's kind of oftentimes the harder to breathe. People with these damn
[00:39:25] small noses seem like they're breathing great. Is that wrong or is that right? Well, this is the
[00:39:32] only nose I have and no. This is all I know. How's it breathing up there with that thing? Pretty
[00:39:39] good. Yeah. You have a bigger nose than Adam does. I got a big. He's got a bigger nose than my father.
[00:39:43] They got a big fucking nose. I take a picture of the two of them. Would you ever get it bigger?
[00:39:47] I used to think my dad is the biggest nose of all time. I could have bigger. I broke it
[00:39:51] multiple times. How? Just being me. One time I was very young and a larger kid jumped off the
[00:40:01] playground and fell right on my nose and busted. Damn. It was a fat kid? I didn't want to say it
[00:40:08] that way. No, you didn't want to say fat. That's a good. That's what happened to the cartoon character.
[00:40:11] After he's hurt you, you still don't want to call him. You got a phone call before him and it's
[00:40:16] at ham likely and then affect him. But yeah, I get it bigger. I get anything on me enlarged.
[00:40:24] Really? Yeah. Of course. I tell you what I have to do right now. One probably would have to be the
[00:40:31] size of a like an exercise ball lobster claw elbow down. Yeah. Giant. Yeah. Red claw. You want a
[00:40:41] lobster claw for a hand. Yeah. Why would you? Because I don't know how to talk to women.
[00:40:45] Imagine if that woman saw me waiting for the train and I had a giant lobster claw.
[00:40:49] She'd start. That's a conversation. Yeah. You know how to talk to women. I've seen you talk to
[00:40:53] women before. She'd be like, is that she'd be like, are you like a lobster man? I'd be like,
[00:40:58] well, yes, actually. I am. So you'd have one hand? That's funny that you asked. I am in fact a
[00:41:04] lobster man. What are you doing later? I'd like to go out with you. Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully not
[00:41:09] the red lobster. I love lobster. Yeah. And then I just start pinching her. She says, no, then I
[00:41:15] just chased her around the train station pinching her. She can't get away. It's a giant claw. Nick running
[00:41:21] around the subway harassing women by pinching their ass with a lot of claw claw. It is. That's
[00:41:26] a meat cute. Yeah. But you're only pinching her because you have a crush on her like in kindergarten.
[00:41:33] Anything goes if you have a crush on somebody. Yeah. You can do anything. Yeah. Yeah. It's true.
[00:41:37] You can call them and be like, I'm gonna murder you. I pitched the idea numerous times saying that
[00:41:42] I wanted antlers on my head. And you tell other men that and they're like, why? And it looks like
[00:41:47] you have any idea how much pussy you get if you had fucking antlers on your head. And anytime you
[00:41:51] tell a woman that, you know, like, what if I had antlers, they're like, Oh, shit. Do they get wet?
[00:41:57] Yeah. Totally. So you really do know what girls want? They want a guy who has antlers. You could
[00:42:02] hold on to him. You act like you don't understand women at all. I just said, I don't know how to
[00:42:06] talk them, but I don't know how to talk to anybody. That's true. You know, but what would you? Well,
[00:42:11] how would you sleep in a bed though? If you had these massive antlers? Well, I would put the lobster
[00:42:16] claw under my head and use that as a pillow. Well, first you would be a few.
[00:42:25] The lobster claws hard. So fuck up the antlers wouldn't fuck up the headboard.
[00:42:28] Yeah, that's not bad. That's not bad. Yeah. Just going to just going to meet that bitches family.
[00:42:36] They're like, so what do you do? I'm like, I got antlers and lobster claw. They're like, Oh,
[00:42:41] okay. Yeah, you're better on the train up in sure. Yeah, you're not your daughter.
[00:42:47] Let's be hard to sleep with all the women in the bed with you. That's true. There'd be so many of
[00:42:52] them. There wouldn't be room for the antlers and the claw. And then the next move, bottom,
[00:42:56] that's the bottom half of my body removed replaced with the bottom of a spider. Oh, like a wild,
[00:43:03] wild west. Yeah, but that's just that's a big steam thing. I mean, like just, oh, you wouldn't
[00:43:09] want it to be a steam punk. You don't want to be like tar, but spider legs. Oh, you want it to be
[00:43:14] more like like fuzzy, like a tarantula. That one, that one's for the fellas. That one's for the
[00:43:19] fellas because we all love the movie wild, wild west because women are always like, yeah, a guy
[00:43:24] with antlers and lobster claw. That's that's cool. But the spider leg guys, I can't, I can't with them.
[00:43:31] Yeah, they're toxic. Yeah, there would be a toxic trait. Yeah, you can stick.
[00:43:37] Now, Adam, I don't want to get too far away from it before following up. How was the peach milkshake?
[00:43:43] It was really good. Let me tell you something, Stephen, it's got chunks of real peach in it.
[00:43:48] Really delicious. And you know what? Chick-fil-A still still they never skip a beat. They still
[00:43:56] finish it off with the classic whipped cream and the maraschino cherry. Did you, can we talk about
[00:44:02] super speciosa for a second? I think we can. And can you pull that up? Talk about super speciosa.
[00:44:07] I'm going to piss again. I have to do the same, but no, I can't. We'll later. Yeah, we'll daisy chain
[00:44:15] in. Actually, I think, I think Stephen is the perfect person to talk about super speciosa with
[00:44:22] Stephen. Do you know what there's a there's an item? It comes from Southeast Asia. And it is
[00:44:29] naturally engineered by nature made by nature and perfected by super speciosa. Okay. And this
[00:44:38] product is called pure cratum. Yeah. Do you know about this? I've heard of it. Yeah. Have you
[00:44:47] ever do you have any experience with this product? I've never done it, but I've heard about it.
[00:44:51] What are you talking about? One time you gave me cratum after night of getting fucked up.
[00:44:58] No. And I threw a black. I had a friend do it before. I've heard of somebody doing it black.
[00:45:04] Yeah. He got so sick. My throat was black. He got so sick. It was disgusting. He had to walk on
[00:45:11] like quite, you know, like from the city to like South Brooklyn. Because he couldn't get a drink.
[00:45:17] Was it a drink? No. He always throws up on the street. No, but keep reading. I don't think that's
[00:45:22] a good sell for your, you know, we got to thank them for giving you money. Stephen, they like it
[00:45:27] when we talk about our experiences with these products. Well, in that case. So you threw up and
[00:45:33] it was black. Yeah. But it wasn't super specios and that's why I threw up because it probably wasn't
[00:45:39] lab tested. It probably wasn't the safety. Whatever. My recommendation policies for the
[00:45:48] super speciosa corporation were not at play. And therefore that's why I threw a black.
[00:45:55] Here's the thing. Why is it super? Because they do things, right? Okay. Since 2016,
[00:46:02] they've been perfecting certifiably reliable ways to bring you, you craydom as it was intended.
[00:46:08] Unaltered, untouched, uncompromised. They have green mayong daw craydom powder.
[00:46:18] He gives you hard ones, doesn't he? They have red mayong daw craydom powder,
[00:46:23] which is more of an afternoon body in mind. Green mayong more of an old day energy. They're
[00:46:30] marketing it as an energy product. Does that make sense? You see. I would highly recommend not
[00:46:38] doing too much of that. Just a little dab of doo-vea.
[00:46:48] No, he's a... Stephen, have you ever done white mayong daw craydom capsules? No, I really don't know
[00:46:54] what that is. It's more of a mourning energy, they say. They have signature reserve craydom powder.
[00:47:01] Do you know what that is? What would happen if I took one? That is nature's power up,
[00:47:05] according to the super speciosa. And that's all day energy. I just realized they haven't paid us in
[00:47:11] probably a year. So why are we doing this? He's like making you list those. I have an invoice,
[00:47:18] and I completely forgot about it. Well, we gotta get our money, baby. They probably owe us a hundred
[00:47:22] million dollars. Oh my god. So we're gonna be rich. We're gonna be rich. If you ever see the guy.
[00:47:33] At first I was mad at you, and then I realized we're gonna be rich. Because they owe us interest.
[00:47:38] Oh my god. Forget, they're probably this web, the company's probably out of business.
[00:47:42] With interest? Yeah. We don't even have to do the podcast anymore.
[00:47:47] Yeah, but we don't have to do the podcast anymore. A couple weeks, we're gonna have the
[00:47:51] Adam free. There's gonna be no more podcast. Ideally, in podcasts we're referring to just the
[00:47:56] audio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, maybe we'll release the audio of the talk show. Right. But
[00:48:03] why just to audio? What's that? Why just to audio? We want to encourage people to move.
[00:48:08] Yeah, you want to just you want to. Okay, podcasting is dead. It's dead or we started it and we're
[00:48:14] killing it. Yeah, I want to sit here. I want to podcast it before I sit here in this chair.
[00:48:19] And we have Sandra Bernhardt sitting where you are. She got mad at me on Twitter. Yeah, and Adam
[00:48:24] says, so Sandra, tell us about your pussy. Yeah, tell us about your pussy. And then we and then
[00:48:29] the hard zoom and the Sandra's face is close as you can just discuss it by just the expression.
[00:48:36] She's like, what does that mean? Or like your vagina? Tell us about it. What does that what do
[00:48:41] you mean? What does it mean? What does that mean? You know what that means? I feel like you guys are
[00:48:46] pulling me to respond to a fake answer. Yeah, that's why I got this guy here. Nick, he's being
[00:48:53] a forester. Yeah. Yeah. I what's that music? The wedding shop is having a champagne party. I saw
[00:48:59] them. They're going, I might go. I'm gonna pop over there. You want to go? That sounds fun. You
[00:49:03] want to go to the wedding dress party? Sounds fun. This does sound kind of nice. Yeah. I am feeling
[00:49:07] better than I was after my nap. Anyway, guys, as Cratum gains popularity, more vendors are
[00:49:13] providing cratum products of varying quality. Find out about good manufacturing practices
[00:49:19] and all the importance of quality standards at their website. That's what you can do. So you
[00:49:25] can shop by category. That's kind of stuff. We need to button up the ship. We need to
[00:49:33] batten down the hatches on those kind of slips. It's called Cratigory because it's Cratum
[00:49:38] categories. You're pretending to do that on purpose. We got out of sign up for for elocution lessons.
[00:49:44] Yeah. I'm going to the same guy. Next time you see this guy, he's going to have a British accent.
[00:49:48] I'm going to go to the same guy they got for the King's speech. Remember that movie?
[00:49:52] The King's Peach. That's what they call Joseph Ball.
[00:49:58] The bigger they are, the Joseph's they ball.
[00:50:03] It's a Joshua. You really crushed it with a hand story. That was the best story I've ever
[00:50:07] ever gotten. The Peach Milk Shake Story. I had to get one of those Peach Milk Shapes. They're fantastic.
[00:50:13] Okay, guys. You shot by category. Okay. They got capsules. They got powders. They got tablets.
[00:50:20] They got they got teabags. They got trusted quality and they have a certification from the
[00:50:29] some sort of cratum organization where that's even you sit on the board of that organization.
[00:50:36] That's not true. Chairman of the board. Caratops. They call them the Chairman of the board.
[00:50:39] And the other guy we mentioned earlier. They subject their products to the strictest quality
[00:50:44] control standards in the industry. Every batch is thoroughly inspected and lab tested for impurities
[00:50:51] and containment. So you're not going to throw up black like I did that one time in Stephen's bathroom.
[00:50:57] Free shipping. You get perked up on the plants guys. You're going to fucking love it. It's going
[00:51:02] to be great for you. You go to this website. You get what is it? 20% off. You get some sort of
[00:51:07] discount off your beer. You get a nice discount off your order. You get a nice discount off your
[00:51:17] order at superspeciosum.com. You put in promo code come down, come down 20 something like that.
[00:51:24] And don't be afraid to read their FAQs or probably what is this crate in my queue. Let's see what
[00:51:31] this is about. This is the essential guy to understanding, crate them in the strains. Much like
[00:51:37] marijuana, the strains do different things for you. You got a sativa. You get an indica.
[00:51:43] Some of these chilli out. Some of these perk you up. So go check it out. That party, the wedding
[00:51:49] dress party sounds fun. Whatever happened to just enjoying whatever mood you're in. Why do you need
[00:51:54] the substance? Why do we need these substances? Yeah, I don't understand. Why are you getting
[00:51:57] it all freaked up on on let me make this let me make this clear with a 65 year old man with a woman's
[00:52:02] hair. I make this clear before we move on from this ad. You absolutely need these substances.
[00:52:07] The idea of enjoying your own emotions is a thing of the past. You live in a hyper mediated world.
[00:52:14] It's a brave new world. The only way to navigate it is by consuming massive amounts of of weird
[00:52:21] Southeast Asian drugs that brave men are bringing to market. So go to superspeciosa.com or superogex
[00:52:29] or get super village.com. Superspeciosa.com. They actually got the URL that they should have
[00:52:35] gotten. I think when we first started working. So check that out. Get a little taste for fun
[00:52:42] times. I'm Cambodian. You're just basically just eating Agent Orange. I'm pretty sure. Agent Orange,
[00:52:52] that would be a fun parody movie. You know what I mean? And he's like, oh, Dr. No. Why would you do
[00:53:06] this to me? We are the same. And he's like, I'm sorry, Agent Orange. What did I do to you? Yeah.
[00:53:13] So I'm sorry, Agent Orange, but you work for the British government. But I don't know how I got
[00:53:18] the job. Well, why don't they should get a guy like that? He's like James Bond, but he's orange.
[00:53:25] But I thought they're you thought what different colors you think they were.
[00:53:29] This is getting color. Good answer. Good answer. Good answer. That's kind of
[00:53:36] shit. We're going to say to Sandra Barnhart when she starts getting a little racist. Yeah,
[00:53:40] we'll be like, what color do you think Asians are? So Sandra, you were in the film King of Comedy.
[00:53:46] Have you ever fucked an Asian man? Yeah. Should be a high melaspian. I'd actually be curious to
[00:53:53] know the answer to that. Is she going to be the first guest on the video show? She was even
[00:53:57] stopped giving all the surprises. Sorry. I'm feeling you already told them that we have a beautiful
[00:54:02] set. I think Adam got me sick two times in the last three years. You were sick before me. No,
[00:54:08] I wasn't. Yes, you were. No. Why do we keep getting sick? Do we have black mold in the studio?
[00:54:14] I know. I think you keep getting sick and then you get me sick. Why? From what? I have an incredibly
[00:54:20] clean lifestyle. I picked my nose a hundred times a day. Well, I don't know.
[00:54:24] I would never, you recently saw Avatar and IMAX. I did. How was that? It's one of the greatest
[00:54:32] experiences you can have. Really? We're seeing the 3D IMAX Avatar. Yeah. Yeah. I think. It's so far.
[00:54:38] How did... What happens all the glasses? That's what I want to know. You put them in a big dumpster.
[00:54:44] And then where do they go? I think they wash them. They send them to Africa? No, I think they
[00:54:47] wash them. What do they do? Send these to Africa and they give it to the kids down there so they
[00:54:55] can better see the lions coming after them. I think that is. Yeah, I'm starting a charity where
[00:54:59] we get all the 3D glasses and we give them down there to Africa and they put them on and you don't
[00:55:05] have to worry about the lions. It's like Tom and shoes. Because you can see him better.
[00:55:10] Yeah, I'm the CEO of Tom's shoes. My name is Joseph Ball. Jeff,
[00:55:18] Joshua. Joshua. Yeah, my name is Jeffy Ball's and I've done come up with the Chick-fil-A peach
[00:55:23] milkshake and Tom's shoes. I was wearing my socks around my apartment. I said, why the fuck can't I
[00:55:30] just go out like this? And then I did it and I was like, somebody was like, what are you doing?
[00:55:35] And I'm like, I'm saving African kids from the fucking,
[00:55:38] from the dark nature is what I'm doing.
[00:55:42] When, and they're like, what's your name?
[00:55:49] And so that was the name of the shoes from that point
[00:56:11] there's no doubt in my mind this guy makes more money
[00:56:17] Yeah, to own a Chick-fil-A in Manhattan.
[00:56:19] It probably cost a million dollars just to get up and run.
[00:56:26] They got a lot of people working there.
[00:56:31] You could start any business in the world, Steven.
[00:56:34] I've thought about that before, and I've
[00:56:54] Steven apostrophe, SSS, and then psych.
[00:57:05] Well, if you want more surprises, why don't you come on in?
[00:57:08] Because instead of food, we're serving child pornography
[00:57:21] I don't know if this is the same Josh Balls.
[00:57:23] But I found another Josh Balls on Instagram,
[00:57:35] I didn't realize this was such a common name.
[00:57:50] I'll sit around and I'll just come up with business cards.
[00:57:53] How long does it take you to come up with one of these?
[00:57:57] I was playing by Wake Up and it's the first all I had.
[00:58:01] Is it a guy, a real estate agent named David sperm
[00:58:25] That's not even one apartment in New York City.
[00:58:32] We're now entering the real estate corner.
[00:58:34] That's how we like to close out the show.
[00:58:36] There's a lot of people in the finance world
[00:58:42] That guy was, well, he said he's not caught up on the show.
[00:58:50] Just any time I go, any time I go to any bar with Adam,
[00:59:05] Remember when we met Shannon Doherty at a bar?
[00:59:15] It was a thing I was wishing that would happen.
[01:00:08] Some of it, if I could figure out a way that YouTube settings
[01:00:10] or this show is only available in between 2.45am and 3.30 in the morning.
[01:00:30] Yeah, that's when the show hits its stride.
[01:00:37] I was thinking I think she was sick, though.
[01:00:39] But anyways, Adam, you're on your phone more than you're on the show.
[01:00:42] I just want to see if this bitch was alive, but it does look like she's not well.
[01:01:06] He's like, I'm getting the iPhone 14 in case we decide to shoot on location.
[01:01:12] In case we need to shoot on location, I'm getting the iPhone 14.
[01:01:28] I feel bad about what I said about Lori's breasts.
[01:01:39] She's completely flat-chested, but the nipple comes out.
[01:01:42] Yeah, the nipple is just her entire breast.
[01:02:00] No, I'm telling you, a very sleepy late night show.
[01:02:05] We want to get basically the stars of New York Municipal bureaucracy on here.
[01:02:15] We get Mark Levine on here and we say, Chinese New Year this year, what do you got planned?
[01:02:25] How is Chinese New Year going to bounce back from Corona because this has got to be the year.
[01:02:30] I've noticed that there's an intersection...
[01:02:32] What the hell is going on with the Javits Center?
[01:02:36] It's sitting there vacant 90% of the time.
[01:02:39] That could be used for homeless people.
[01:02:41] And speaking of homeless people, why don't we just kill them?
[01:02:46] Everything's not a good until that last part.
[01:02:49] Mark, who's your least favorite homeless person in New York City?
[01:03:07] In this industry, we have to watch what we say.
[01:03:10] We have to, you know, be out there for us.
[01:03:21] I'm not talking about you talking about Mark.
[01:03:26] Oh, they don't call it an industry, though.
[01:03:35] The president wouldn't be like, I'm in the president.
[01:03:42] If we could turn the animal-free-land show.
[01:03:48] If we could turn the Adam-free-land show and do an extremely boring 3 AM talk show about
[01:03:59] That would be a dream come true for me.
[01:04:06] I thought you were kind of into it, too.
[01:04:15] How about a guy that sells himself as an angel investor and then, you know, somebody like
[01:04:19] they comes and do the pitch and they're like, yeah, it's like a B2B network site and I put
[01:04:34] No, I'm just gonna pray for you, cousin.
[01:04:40] I've been in San Francisco for 22 years.
[01:04:42] I don't have the money to get home to Detroit.
[01:05:17] And I'm an angel investor in San Francisco.
[01:05:21] I was the first one invested Joshua Balls.
[01:05:24] And now he's the owner of a Chick-fil-A franchise.
[01:05:33] I had him pick your nose one more time before the show was over.
[01:05:37] Are we going to watch Officer and a gentleman?
[01:05:57] Yeah, I'm about Richard Gere, but it's G-E-A-R.
[01:06:00] What if it's Richard Gere, but it's G-E-R-B-I-L?
[01:06:30] You got to side eye a little bit like this.
[01:06:34] Um, Steven, so leaving this, you have more or less respect for what we do for a living?
[01:06:49] I'm machining the camera, Darnan, because you look so sharp today.
[01:06:52] Yeah, you've been giving yourself a haircut.
[01:06:55] Well, how have you back on when the video starts?
[01:07:03] Like I said, technically we could get started next week, but until I got to find a doctor
[01:07:07] that's going to do this fucking lobster claw thing.
[01:07:09] And we don't want to be on camera until that happens.
[01:07:13] There's three different light shops within a couple blocks.
[01:07:26] No, but really I appreciate you guys having me on.
[01:07:33] If this had been the episode that we did right after the old show ended, I would just burn
[01:07:42] So you're seeing it went for how bad the podcast element of this show has been?
[01:07:55] We also got here early today and we're like, let's do the podcast early so it's not late
[01:08:00] I was so energetic when I first got here.
[01:08:01] And now I just really have to go to the bathroom.
[01:08:08] So you want to sleep and then, you know, but folks...
[01:08:11] No, we don't have to make any more excuses.
[01:08:25] And I didn't have dinner last night with an 85-year-old grandfather of my girlfriend.
[01:08:33] What's that movie where Sean Connery plays a dragon?
[01:08:57] And I think he's in a heart movie, too.
[01:09:04] I got this disease where my penis is hard in it, so...
[01:09:10] I gotta get a bunch of plastic surgery.