TAFS | Regular | 10/20/2022
[00:00:15] You're listening to the animal-freaking show.
[00:00:48] I heard that you sent a woman to suck my dick.
[00:00:53] I've been rewatching clips from the shadow, trying to dial in the Alec Baldwin voice while
[00:01:04] Last night, who told me she had Lauren Jydis for two and a half months.
[00:01:09] I don't know if I can do that and continue to do my job, which is run my mouth for a living.
[00:01:18] Unless I can dial in this Alec Baldwin voice, but it's slipping further away.
[00:01:25] I'm becoming more Winnie the Pooh, less Alec Baldwin every minute.
[00:01:34] I'm thinking I started dressing up like Winnie the Pooh.
[00:01:38] I gained hundreds of pounds and I go on stage with just a shirt on and my penis and legs
[00:01:50] I act like it's a cute thing to just sexually assault.
[00:01:59] However many came out for an early show Saturday.
[00:02:03] I'd say total 67 people over eight shows for an entire weekend.
[00:02:08] That's about how many tickets I'm selling these days.
[00:02:14] Oh, I'm so bothered by my inability to get pussy.
[00:02:19] If someone could please do my poo, everybody do the poo.
[00:02:49] I don't know if I want to do the reveal too early.
[00:02:54] People don't know that the studio is haunted.
[00:03:04] No, I think they're a little bit older.
[00:03:06] No, they were accused when they were like six, seven years old.
[00:03:11] Well, the rape happened at 3.30 in the afternoon.
[00:03:20] There was a little, there was a Dominican little league game.
[00:03:25] And they said, yeah, these are the guys that did it.
[00:03:30] So they said they were six and seven, but they were actually 19 years old.
[00:03:35] Folks, I will be in Minneapolis this weekend, starting tomorrow, Thursday night, Thursday
[00:03:42] Minneapolis, they call it the Minneapolis.
[00:03:47] I think in Fargo, I think that people outside say, oh, Minneapolis.
[00:03:59] I turned the radiator off in the office, and it's a fucking tropical rainforest in there.
[00:04:12] I couldn't turn the air conditioner on.
[00:04:25] Now that we have this stuff here, I don't know.
[00:04:27] Folks, act me comedy club this weekend.
[00:04:42] And then also there's just some stuff missing.
[00:04:47] And I want to do like a little like just a test to see how it looks.
[00:04:54] An idea of where the cameras are going to be.
[00:04:58] Is Ed, you're going to be around next week?
[00:05:08] Because that could fuck things up for us.
[00:05:11] Well, if we need to rent any type of film equipment in the city, it can't be on a Jewish
[00:05:18] They don't know about this outside New York.
[00:05:20] There's too many Jews in New York City.
[00:05:27] I'm wondering recently, maybe the Donald Trump guy is actually Jewish.
[00:05:31] It doesn't sound like Alec Baldwin anymore.
[00:05:38] I met your dad asking me to come to Mexico to find you.
[00:05:45] The only way you'd come back is if a 183 year old man came down here and tried to purchase
[00:05:59] He just waddles around Mexico and kicks people's asses.
[00:06:17] Dude, that would be a great guess for the show.
[00:06:21] He should be a permanent fixture on the show.
[00:06:25] Honestly, if he wanted to make it the Dwight Yokem show, I would humbly.
[00:06:31] After I get to Adam Friedland show off the ground, turn this into the best talk show
[00:06:39] And I'm creating the even great radio talk show that I was ever seen.
[00:06:55] We're going to say that this is the NPR official Adam Friedland show and have nothing to do
[00:07:04] What's with the backwards and in Hebrew?
[00:07:20] Oh, remember you heard me speak Hebrew the other day?
[00:07:34] I bet there's going to be this one guy that comes to your show.
[00:07:36] He wrote a really cool email about how we should build the studio in St. Paul, Minneapolis,
[00:07:57] Why are we spending all this money building or a studio in a cesspool, revolting cesspool
[00:08:09] I wonder what the hell that would look like.
[00:08:20] Live from the George Floyd studio in 30...
[00:08:31] Yeah, my voice sounds burned the fuck out.
[00:08:35] No, you have three more weekends after this.
[00:08:37] No, I get a break for a week and I'm sleeping the entire fucking time.
[00:09:02] Now I'm admitting that I read the emails.
[00:09:04] I'll just go ahead and I'll just run the show for a second here while you do the email
[00:09:11] We got a little DVD player for the office.
[00:09:14] I thought, you know, something bigger than that would be too much of a distraction, but
[00:09:17] it's nice to put on DVDs in the background.
[00:09:21] I got a cheap shitty CRT television off-grid because I got a DVD player and I said, that's
[00:09:26] the only entertainment we're having in here.
[00:09:30] And I re-watched Training Day the other night.
[00:09:36] And that movie really makes no goddamn sense.
[00:09:40] I mean, there's obvious stuff that was like, you know, at the time you see it, you're like,
[00:09:45] You know, I mean, we take the Mexican guy that's like hired to kill him and he's like,
[00:09:52] There's probably 800 million Mexican people in Los Angeles.
[00:09:57] I mean, I guess they're all each other's little cousin.
[00:10:02] But like, I mean, the whole thing is fucking insane.
[00:10:05] Alonso, he's gonna be killed by the Russian mob and he's gonna do anything he can.
[00:10:11] That's probably where they started writing the thing, right?
[00:10:19] And he's got a, he's got a, you know, he's a trainee who has a show.
[00:10:22] He's got one day, but what doesn't make any sense?
[00:10:24] Like why the fuck would that be the day?
[00:10:25] He's like, oh yeah, I guess I'll also take this trainee on like on the day that I'm running
[00:10:29] around committing a bunch of fucking crimes.
[00:10:32] It doesn't like there's no, it's not like he doesn't need that guy there.
[00:10:39] The entire movie is the premise of it is insane.
[00:10:44] But anyways, what I was gonna say, you're still looking for the email.
[00:10:47] Oh, it's not even that good of an email.
[00:10:49] We're not gonna release a video of what of this?
[00:10:57] If you want to go to patreon.com slash TAFS T A F S once the show is launched and up
[00:11:04] and running, we'll do this as like, you know, kind of a work in progress sort of thing.
[00:11:16] There's too many documentaries nowadays.
[00:11:21] I'm no more, I'm no more process bullshit.
[00:11:28] I don't want to see how they made the start trip and start, start ship enterprise.
[00:11:33] You know, who ruined that for everybody that show how it's made?
[00:11:36] They thought everybody want to know how everything's fucking made.
[00:11:47] How about coming up on how it's made a baby?
[00:11:51] The penis goes into the vagina and moves back and forth.
[00:11:56] Don't burn out, but that how I was made fucking factory music.
[00:12:03] Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
[00:12:07] and the penis bust, and they bust into the pussy.
[00:12:21] The little boy's balls grow bigger and drop further away from his body during a process
[00:12:25] called puberty, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah.
[00:12:28] Some kid crying, he's just strapped a wall.
[00:12:30] He's got him crucified against a wall wall.
[00:12:34] Well, they do bullet time around his penis and balls.
[00:12:41] Yeah, they're just feeding him through a straw.
[00:12:47] You're like, we need this time lapse of your balls and pubes coming in.
[00:13:01] I couldn't grow like a real beard until I was like 27.
[00:13:12] And I could only grow like a mustache and like a goatee.
[00:13:15] I was like, fuck, I'll never be able to be a real beard.
[00:13:19] And my friends, they were older, like, yeah, you can't grow a beard until you're like 30.
[00:13:24] Yeah, there were kids in seventh grade with beard.
[00:13:33] Now I can do all the dumb facial hairs.
[00:13:35] It's a really cool version of Nick right now.
[00:13:44] I should have showed up with Las Vegas backpack pajama bottoms.
[00:13:47] You have the gambler style, you know, 1887 facial hair.
[00:14:01] It's kind of like mutton shops connected into a handlebar mustache.
[00:14:21] Martin Van Buren worked at a record store and was a barista on the weekends.
[00:14:33] Anna Wardell, I think probably spent the last six years terrified of you.
[00:14:40] And he was like, Nick, it's just so nice.
[00:14:41] Oh, but they sound like Winnie the Boo.
[00:14:47] You couldn't even be like, where's your...
[00:14:49] Why aren't you wearing all purple right now?
[00:14:54] I was teasing him when I got to LA because he...
[00:14:58] Because I've told him in the past that he wears too much purple stuff.
[00:15:12] Like I said, it's gonna be a rough hour.
[00:15:38] Have you ever watched Barney the dinosaur for black people?
[00:15:54] You call yourself a baby, you piece of shit.
[00:15:56] There's just a bunch of babies in an office.
[00:16:00] We should do an all-kids shot-for-shot remake.
[00:16:06] 15 years ago, I was trying to put a children's theatre to put on a print...
[00:16:27] These are the first three letters that you have to learn.
[00:16:33] We should do a full episode of the talk show with babies.
[00:16:36] What I like about too is people forget in the ABC speech there's also A-I-D-A.
[00:17:33] Third prize is you're fired from being a baby.
[00:18:12] That's why you're not cut out to be a baby.
[00:18:19] Yeah, that would be a really good movie.
[00:18:29] I really had no appreciation for him until literally two days ago.
[00:18:34] Well, once you can talk like that, it's like fuck.
[00:18:44] You didn't utilize it by getting pussy on Monday night.
[00:18:47] I was trying to tell you you had to go on the- you had to go on milk hunting on Monday
[00:18:59] I'm like, don't I sound like Alec Baldwin.
[00:19:01] You mean, should have gone to those bars?
[00:19:09] When you were doing the shadow nose on Monday- Oh, the shadow nose.
[00:19:47] I think with a voice like that, you can try.
[00:19:50] I think with your rational voice messages you have a cool voice.
[00:19:57] No, which has sound- You have a cool, but you're very good a mimicry.
[00:20:01] But my regular speaking voice just goes back to, you know, it's like how it's made.
[00:20:05] I don't know, a finished product voice.
[00:20:07] Oh, by the way, thanks to everyone that's- that came out to a funny Mom's on Monday.
[00:20:11] Our next funny Mom's is this next Monday, it's going to be a really good one.
[00:20:16] We have a good lineup booked, booked get your tickets.
[00:20:19] 24th of October. It's gonna be a spooky one. And then a week from then, 31st of
[00:20:26] October. Halloween. Halloween. We should do it. Number first episode definitely
[00:20:30] just needs to be Halloween special. Yes. Let's just do that. Yeah, we're gonna do it.
[00:20:34] Let's bang that one out. And then we can have our guest as the guest on the
[00:20:37] Halloween special. Yes. Well, maybe. And not tell them it's a Halloween special.
[00:20:42] Maybe. Yeah. Bonnie's foot. Bonnie's for baby. Try to scare him. Yeah. Maybe do
[00:20:48] it. Hey, boo. Who the hell is this guy? I'm a ghost, pal. I'm here from the
[00:20:58] cemetery and I'm gay. I died of being gay. Yeah. You want to talk about friends? We
[00:21:10] got a little break here for a second. A little break here for a second. We want
[00:21:14] to talk about our friends over at diet smoke calm. What's diet smoke Nick?
[00:21:24] Diet smoke is not even a smokeable product. It's gummies. It's gummies. So it's
[00:21:31] confusing. Diet smoke their slogan is go on a diet you fat bitch. I sell propane
[00:21:38] and propane accessories. Diet smoke. What's your name Hank Hill? You call yourself a
[00:21:46] propane salesman, you son of a bitch. Diet smoke folks. You hear me you fucking
[00:21:53] faggots. That's the best line. You know why? How do you write that? How do you come up
[00:21:57] with that? How do you come up with that? Diet smoke sells an entire line of both
[00:22:02] Delta 8 and Delta 9 THC products. Right? I'm gonna go to the shop section of their
[00:22:09] website and tell you what they got. They have gummies. Delta 8 and Delta 9
[00:22:14] gummies in mango cherry lime, watermelon blue raspberry peach. They have
[00:22:22] vapes pineapple watermelon drinks peach lemon lime. They got some good fucking
[00:22:27] shit guys that's gonna definitely get you a perfectly balanced buzz. Get your
[00:22:33] jimmies jimmies Rosalind. Folks because as a result of section 2 9 7a from the
[00:22:41] 2018 Farm Bill you can get this shit to get a balanced buzz on. You don't need a
[00:22:46] prescription you could skip a doctor visit. No prescription or medical
[00:22:51] marijuana card is required. It is hemp derived diet smoke is a product
[00:22:55] exclusively with American grown hemp. That sounds pretty fucking good to me.
[00:23:00] Yeah gummies. Gummies. Gummies are for babies. Diet smoke it's for fat bitches. The
[00:23:09] THC that gives cannabis its popular in desired effects is technically called
[00:23:13] Delta 9 THC. I'm gonna start calling my cock a diet cock. Why cuz you're
[00:23:20] winning the poo. That's small. Does poo bear have small cock? My shit ain't small. I got a diet cock.
[00:23:26] Yeah they say my penis on a diet. Any ladies showing me how I can diet. You know something like that.
[00:23:34] Yeah let's go out and try to go mil-funting with that line. Yeah. Let's see. I hope my
[00:23:40] fucking plane crashes tomorrow. Why do you want to crash? I mean I'm just
[00:23:45] surviving. So dramatic of course it was right. Yeah you'll eat people. And then I'd be in bio shock.
[00:23:50] That'd be pretty badass. Yeah the plane gets diverted and it crashes in the
[00:23:54] jungle. It's hatchet. What I want to happen is hatchet. They find naked in the middle
[00:23:58] of the jungle. You just have like a serene look on your face. I come out I've
[00:24:02] been in the woods for six months they find me. Yeah and somehow I've gained
[00:24:06] hundreds of pounds. Yeah. Somehow got fat as shit in the woods. Yeah cuz you ate
[00:24:12] you ate the fat bitches on the plane. Yeah. And you use the the sub-zero
[00:24:18] temperatures to freeze the meat. And diet smoke diet. Diet smoke calm. How many
[00:24:22] how many code come down or come down to one? How many gummies should you take?
[00:24:26] If it's your first time using the THC start with half a gummy. I don't know
[00:24:30] let's ask Mr. Owl. If this is your first rodeo you should be fine starting with a
[00:24:36] whole gummy. It takes up to an hour to experience the full effect of diet smoke.
[00:24:42] So start slow. Just like fucking. If you're a regular user of THC products
[00:24:48] Delta 9 THC gummies may be your favorite product. Go to this website you can get
[00:24:53] this shit. It tastes good. It smokes good. Mm-hmm. Tastes good. It doesn't you don't
[00:25:01] smoke it. It's a gummy. Yeah. They also have a different company that the same
[00:25:06] sponsor but different company that has smoked the wolves but they like to keep
[00:25:10] their shit discreet. Nice little separation between church and state.
[00:25:15] Alec Baldwin you've spent your entire life talking like this. Now you're going to
[00:25:21] teach me how to do it or I'll suck your cock. What happened to his brothers?
[00:25:25] They're not working anymore. Danny and Stephen and Billy. Billy.
[00:25:29] There's three of them right? Here are three. I always included Ed Burns in the
[00:25:35] Baldwin brothers. Yeah he's like the the sheen. Yeah the fourth. Yeah the
[00:25:40] rest of them were estimate. One of the funniest things I've ever heard in my
[00:25:44] life Howard Kramer. Yeah. Said Ed Burns movies are like if a construction worker
[00:25:49] tried to make a Woody Allen film. That's really good. It's hilarious. It's very good.
[00:25:53] It's spot on. That's very good. Yeah. What happened with that guy? That guy was funny.
[00:25:57] Ed Burns? No Howard Kramer. Yeah. I think he's one of those guys just stayed in LA and I
[00:26:02] mean what else are you going to fucking do? You want to have fucking bad our
[00:26:06] careers are going to be in 15 years? Well I think I thought we're going to be
[00:26:10] tight now. We're going to be like trying to cozy up to some 20 year old that has
[00:26:15] like a virtual reality show. We have to like we have to figure out how to do
[00:26:19] like uplink comedy. Can you explain it to me? I'm just trying to jam a giant
[00:26:23] needle into the back of my head and they're like he's doing it wrong. I'm
[00:26:28] like I really should have just died in that fucking plane crash. Yeah. Yeah. In
[00:26:32] Minnesota, in the Minnesota wilderness. We're not like good comics. Like us? Yeah
[00:26:38] no. I thought we're some of the best. And no we make we make a pretty shitty
[00:26:42] product that has outlived its time for sure. It's like you know if there's a
[00:26:48] thing you know it's not a shitty product. I mean would you say family guys a shitty
[00:26:53] show? No. We're kind of like the family guy of Pac-Man. The Shamley guy. We're the
[00:26:58] Shamley guys. It's a Freudian slip. Yeah. We are. Yeah. Yeah. So you're
[00:27:03] experiencing impostor syndrome now that the studio is finished? No. I'm not an
[00:27:07] imposter. No, I'm not an imposter. Mr. Las Vegas himself. No you're not. Can you
[00:27:12] please stop saying I am boy. People call me Mr. Las Vegas. You better not you
[00:27:15] better you better show some respect Mr. Las Vegas. So what what happened to you
[00:27:19] when you were born the nobles? Let me tell you something. Oh go ahead. I want to
[00:27:23] behoove on you to respect a title Mr. Las Vegas. Okay. Because I may be Mr.
[00:27:27] Las Vegas but you don't want rolling dice right now. I'm Mr. Las Vegas. You don't want
[00:27:32] rolling dice right now. You never had a gambling problem? No. You seem like a guy
[00:27:37] with a game that would have a gambling problem. No. Unless you count hundreds
[00:27:40] thousand dollars in cryptocurrency. Yeah. Unless you count. And hitting it wrong.
[00:27:44] Yeah. Yeah. Unless you count. Yeah. To reckless behavior. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:27:49] Busting inside. Yeah. I have a gambling problem unless you include doing a
[00:27:55] bunch of amphetamines and watching all of the show Doug in a hotel room. Yeah. I
[00:28:00] got one on one of my classic Doug benders. Dude you don't want to see Nick
[00:28:04] during a Doug bender? Yeah. If I'm in a hotel room just season 17 to Doug. Yeah
[00:28:10] you're like they're on the defensive run out of the I've got a tamp my body's I've
[00:28:13] been dead for weeks. I'm completely new. There's just needles in my arms and IVs
[00:28:18] are going up to a VHS player. And he's been watching Doug for weeks. Yeah. Your
[00:28:23] family had no idea. He was so into Doug. You're wearing a you're wearing a pair
[00:28:27] of Ray Van Wafers. You look like we can do burnings. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm in the
[00:28:32] hotel room like oh he's fine. He's watching Doug. He was in. Yeah. The famous
[00:28:36] actor they just find him is in a motel somewhere watching baby movies. He was
[00:28:42] addicted to Barney. Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin passed away in mysterious
[00:28:49] circumstances. They found him in a hotel room with Bonnie playing on the TV with
[00:28:56] over 16 thousand dollars worth of Bonnie VHS tapes. He left a note behind and said
[00:29:05] he doesn't like baby stuff. Dying in shame. Alec Baldwin discovered nude
[00:29:09] surrounded by Bonnie VHS tapes in an O'Connell Lodge in Corpus Christi. I
[00:29:16] would be sad. What if I died and then everyone had found out I liked Barney.
[00:29:21] Yeah. I would hope that my friends and family would stick to the line. Yeah. Be
[00:29:28] like you never liked that. So I'm gonna go to Ireland. I'm gonna make enough
[00:29:33] money. Go to Ireland. I want to go bad dude. I'm gonna buy the Barney Stone and I'm
[00:29:38] gonna rename it the Barney Stone. I don't be like cool. Why don't you come check
[00:29:44] this out if you're a fucking baby. Yeah cool place to hang out for your fucking
[00:29:51] baby maybe. Just ruin their culture. This was one of the most important things
[00:29:58] to us. Our favorite stone has been renamed. They've ruined our stone. Now
[00:30:03] everyone thinks I hear lens for babies. Fucking lucky charms eating pieces
[00:30:09] shit. Dude you're hating on your own people. Come on. Put the lucky charms
[00:30:13] down. I want to see more proud of be Irish. Bonnie's for Alec. I want you to come in
[00:30:18] with like this Alec Baldwin and it's just where he's cinching up a tie
[00:30:22] around his neck and masturbating in a hotel room to Barney. He's going
[00:30:26] Barney's for Alec. You call yourself an actor you piece of shit. You can't even
[00:30:36] watch Barney. You're too scared of Barney to even finish watching a single
[00:30:41] episode. You've never finished one episode. This is why Kim left you. You don't know
[00:30:46] who be Bob. This is why your daughter won't speak to you Alec because you're
[00:30:50] too scared to even finish an episode of Barney. Oh man you gotta be more proud
[00:30:57] to be Irish dude. I'd like to see you proud of pride as a sin dude. You know how
[00:31:02] like when you know me I'm Chad Kath. I'm Chad Kath. Slut. Yeah just all a bunch of
[00:31:08] Roman numerals. Yeah I'm changing my Twitter avatar to a picture of painting.
[00:31:12] Yeah that's the painting of a guy from a stained glass window avatar. Yeah and I
[00:31:18] get into arguments with other facts about the church. You changed used to
[00:31:23] V's. Yeah yeah about the damn church. The church. The church. Dude why are people
[00:31:30] becoming Catholic? They don't even sing amazing grace in Catholics. It'll be less
[00:31:35] embarrassing if they just earnestly got into Barney. Yeah Barney would be tighter.
[00:31:39] Yeah they sing they have great tracks. Yeah on Barney. Just crying at the Barney
[00:31:43] Stone. Clean up. I had an experience at the Barney Stone. To return. Yeah I really
[00:31:50] felt like a baby. My grandfather got cancer and we went back to Ireland so
[00:31:54] we can finally see the Barney Stone. Yeah for the first time. Yeah. They
[00:32:00] changed. You wanted to see the Barney Stone and then turns out they changed the name.
[00:32:04] They changed into the Barney Stone. And then he died right there and then. Yeah I'll
[00:32:08] tell you this I'd say shame because we don't have another person here because
[00:32:11] they would laugh at it. I'm just gonna tell you this story. You're gonna react.
[00:32:14] I'll fake love. I'll do it for the audience. I went to Barnes and Noble
[00:32:18] because Barnes and Noble is the only place you can get DVDs now. Or at least
[00:32:21] you know in the neighborhood. You go shop. You go find some sick of big blue
[00:32:26] red dude. Yeah I was looking for Drop Dead Gorgeous on DVD. Great movie. It's a
[00:32:31] hilarious movie. Great movie. Amber had two DVDs when we lived together. She had
[00:32:35] Slap Shot and and two great movies. Two great DVDs. Slap Shot and Drop Dead
[00:32:41] Gorgeous but we didn't have a DVD player so we know it. I always thought that was
[00:32:45] a Christopher Guest movie. What's for you? No Drop Dead Gorgeous. It's got
[00:32:49] similar but I always thought it was but it wasn't. Yeah. Just Will Sasso
[00:32:55] reading for that. They're like yeah we're looking for a fat retard. Your
[00:33:00] character is a... Who could forget his famous fat retard? Your character is a fat
[00:33:04] retarded person. That's what comedy was. People act like I'm a bad guy and it's
[00:33:10] like no I just paid attention. Dude I watched I've been watching a lot of
[00:33:14] Happy Madison slash Kevin James movies recently and it's that is what a
[00:33:20] comedy was forever. Yeah. They took it from us. We're giving it back folks. Yeah.
[00:33:26] Anyway you're at Barnes. Oh what the Barney's Noble. It's the baby version.
[00:33:31] Barn and a box of Noble. Oh yeah. I'm gonna make a million dollars. I'm gonna buy
[00:33:36] Barnes and Noble and I'm gonna change the name of the Barney. Barney's Noble.
[00:33:40] The readings for babies. Yeah. My cool place to buy a budget hang on us. I
[00:33:44] suppose buying a book for a baby. What are you buying fucking good night
[00:33:49] movie? You fucking baby? Yeah. Yeah. Good night getting pussy ever for you. Yeah you're
[00:33:54] fucking baby. Do you remember you said last over at Barnes? No. I mean you're like I'm
[00:33:58] just gonna call Barnes and Noble just for me. Just for this. Barney's in no
[00:34:01] play? No just for the sake of me. Just say the whole name. Don't call it Barnes.
[00:34:05] That was pretty good. You don't have to last time when you were there and you're
[00:34:10] like there was a lull in conversation. Anytime he texts me I want to meet you at
[00:34:13] the stew instead of just saying the studio or the office. But that's as cool as
[00:34:17] it's to. No I just got a block. Yeah. I block you. I block you like three or four
[00:34:21] times a day. Well you should keep that to yourself. Okay. Now that I know that it
[00:34:25] really hurts my feelings. Oh it hurts. Yeah it hurts my fee fees dude. No not
[00:34:31] fee fees. You'd say fees. My feel. My feels. Yeah. Yeah. But when there was like a
[00:34:38] lull in conversation we were buying Michael and you just looked at me you're
[00:34:41] like maybe I'm just gonna date a fucking nerd. Yeah I'd be cool dude. Yeah I'd
[00:34:48] be like yeah you're a fucking nerd. What are you doing you fucking nerd? Shut up. Shut
[00:34:58] up you fucking nerd girlfriend dude. She's a fucking nerd. What are you gonna drop a
[00:35:03] bunch of books? Yeah but good hang. Yeah I was a good hang. Nerds are good at media.
[00:35:09] You got a nerd girlfriend? Yeah there's not a single boring moment. There's not a
[00:35:12] single exciting moment either but there's no boring moment. No you have to do
[00:35:15] fucking cosplay. You don't have to do cosplay. You just sit there and then you
[00:35:18] know you let them tell you about their Funko pops and then you're like and
[00:35:23] then you find yourself. Like being like yeah she's got all these fucking like
[00:35:27] bobble heads basically. She's a baby. Yeah she's a baby. Yeah she's so baby. Yeah he was
[00:35:36] I was at Barnes trying to buy DVD. What the fuck was that man? What? You just said it.
[00:35:41] Said what? Barnes. I don't know what he's talking about man. Go ahead. Anyway so I
[00:35:45] have a Barnes trying to buy DVD. Fuck you. And there's a bunch of African guys in
[00:35:51] monkey suits wearing like you know Tuxedo. Tuxedo. Yeah I didn't mean to do it. Tuxedo.
[00:35:56] They wear Tuxedo. And their event security and I couldn't get into the DVD section.
[00:36:02] Because there was a DVD event. Because there was a DVD event happening. They had a book
[00:36:07] signing going on in the DVD section. That's annoying. With one Ralph Machio. The
[00:36:14] Karate Kid. So I look around and it's all Italian nerds wearing Cobra Kai's gear.
[00:36:19] Mm-hmm. That's who's going to see Ralph Machio and get you know. Yeah. But he
[00:36:24] wasn't on the Cobra Kai. Those were the bullies. I know but that's the only kind
[00:36:27] of shirt you can get. You can't get a. It's the only kind of Ralph Machio. You can't
[00:36:31] get a Karate Kid. Good guys. Sure. And I would let me in there. I wanted to go in
[00:36:35] and just be like do you diagnose his murder? Fucking Charles in charge. Bugs him alone.
[00:36:40] You're my guy. You know. Wait he replaced Scott. What's his name on
[00:36:47] diagnosis murder? No he did not. He didn't. Scott Bayo just left the show. They didn't
[00:36:53] get Machio. They didn't. I don't think they replaced him with Ralph Machio. Not the mind.
[00:36:56] I mean I watched all of that show. I can't. I don't know. Yeah. I don't. But my memory
[00:37:01] has been bad lately. So I mean I can assert that and I would not be surprised if I was
[00:37:05] completely wrong. But no the problem with that was they they I guess like in the process
[00:37:12] of developing the show they went to both Dick Van Dyke and Scott Bayo and pitched the two
[00:37:17] of them like two completely different shows. Like they went to Scott Bayo and they're like
[00:37:22] yeah it's a good tough guy. It's you getting pussy every episode. You're like a tough guy
[00:37:26] Italian doctor that solves crimes. Imagine that. And they're like you're a
[00:37:31] buffoon doctor that solves crimes in like Mr. Magoose sort of way. Yeah. And then they
[00:37:36] both said yes. And then they tried to synthesize the two into one show but it was clearly the
[00:37:40] Dick Van Dyke show. Yeah. So there's like every episode there's like two different shows
[00:37:45] happening and I guess Scott Bayo kind of figured it out after one or two seasons and then left.
[00:37:50] And he's like I'm out of here. Yeah. But anyway what was happening of the DVD section?
[00:37:55] All these Italian guys there to see Scott Bayo to see to see Ralph Machio. Yeah to see
[00:38:01] Ralph Machio. And you know they're like Charles and charge. I fucking love you fucking bugs
[00:38:11] him alone. Yeah. When I was a kid I wanted to be bugs him alone. Get pussy from Jody
[00:38:15] Foster. Yeah. That would have John Hinckley Jr. could have done that. He could have shot
[00:38:20] an egg cream pie in Reagan's. He had thrown an egg cream pie at Reagan's face. Yeah. Done
[00:38:27] a hijink. Yeah. To fuck Jody Foster to get pussy from that lesbian child. Problem is he saw
[00:38:33] a taxi driver not bugs him alone. Yeah. I'm gonna go look at a different world. A black
[00:38:39] college. An HSBU. That's kind of a condescending name for that show. A different world. A different
[00:38:47] world. Imagine. Can you imagine? Where black people go to come? Can you imagine? It would
[00:38:54] have to be a different universe. But black people learning. You know. It's a different
[00:38:59] it's in the multiverse. No hold on. I understand. The premise of the show is ridiculous. So
[00:39:04] black college obviously insane. But we're saying it's it's a fantasy. It's a different
[00:39:11] world. It's a different world entirely. It's not even close to the world we're living in.
[00:39:18] It's a separate universe. Oh man. Yeah. So I'm there and there's this like 35 year old
[00:39:27] Italian guy. What's up? We're good. This is like 35 year old Italian guy walking around
[00:39:33] just screaming on like you know like Bluetooth or whatever. He's like, Ma, Ma, I'll be home
[00:39:40] when I'm fucking home. I told you I'm going to see Ralph Machia. It was an hour and a
[00:39:45] half line to get in. I've been waiting all fucking night. I'll be home when I'm home.
[00:39:50] And it was just kept going. It was like a 30 minute conversation because I was waiting
[00:39:53] just to see if I can go by drop they go or this, you know, like excuse me. Some of us
[00:39:58] have an even gayer plans tonight. Can we hear this? Ralph Machia bullshit up. I'm trying
[00:40:04] to watch a girl comedy from 25 years ago. One of the good girl comedies. Yeah, that mean
[00:40:09] girls. That is such a good movie. It is. It's so funny. It's about us. Do you mean? That's
[00:40:16] us. The line where the gay kid is in the girls bathroom and the fat girl comes up and she's
[00:40:21] like, you can't be in here. And he's like, Oh my God, Danny DeVito. I love you. So good.
[00:40:29] Yes. This guy's like, my you're fucking killing me. And he's like, I'll be home when I'm fucking
[00:40:34] home. And then it's ready. Boy, he's like, my you're making me want to fucking drink
[00:40:37] again. He's like threatening his mom with falling off the wagon because she's ruined
[00:40:41] his night out meeting Scott Bay. I could have been you if you were had a better relationship
[00:40:46] with your mom and your Italian. If I was Italian, how awful I'd be. You'd be you'd be
[00:40:51] first of all, my the starting voice would be this one. Of course, you'd be born that way.
[00:40:56] Yeah. And then I would be even worse. That'd be a good night to eventual Aaron Jaitis.
[00:41:05] I'm going to fall off the wagon. I have to see karate kid. You're making me want to fall
[00:41:09] off the wagon. Well, how do those Guido's react when they got Hillary Swank? Can you imagine
[00:41:14] him just going to a bar that night? He's like, yeah, I've been sober 15 fucking years.
[00:41:17] But my bitch, my my mom would let me go see Ralph Machio in the bartender's like, um,
[00:41:25] I don't think I'm going to serve you. I don't think that's a good enough reason to fall off
[00:41:29] the wagon. Yeah, I know I'm just here to get a tip. But that sounds pathetic. Yeah. He's
[00:41:34] like, this is almost like my 9 11. If it weren't that 9 11 was already my nine, it was an attack
[00:41:40] on Italians. Famously, they were trying to get the Italians. Have you ever heard that 50
[00:41:46] cent? I forget. Have you ever seen that? I heard that 50 cent song patiently waiting.
[00:41:55] Featuring Eminem. Eminem's versus all about how, um, shady records was right by the towers.
[00:42:03] Oh, my bookie. Oh, my bookie. Sorry. It was supposed to be my bookie. Then died smoke.
[00:42:07] He says shady records was 80 seconds away from the towers. And he met he he he claims
[00:42:13] that been lot and meant to hit um, Eminem. And that's why he any missed any hit the world
[00:42:21] trade center. There's also some pretty cool. Also some other shit. When you talk about
[00:42:27] the, uh, my bookie, my bookie dot a G an incredible website for those of you that are into sports
[00:42:36] gambling. You can bet on anything anytime, anywhere you double your first deposit plus
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[00:43:16] table games, live casino slots and live sports betting and mobile betting. So there's some
[00:43:23] fight they want us to mention. There's a fight coming up and guess who it is? Kanye West versus
[00:43:29] the Jews. You know where my money is going, Nick? It's going with the Jews. Okay. One of
[00:43:39] them. Okay. Their team of meticulous handpicked professionals with a refined skill set,
[00:43:43] stemming from years, you have C two 80 Charles, all of your versus Islam, Maca, chiv, who you got?
[00:43:53] His mom, too. You got to go based on the names. You can't lose a fight with a name like Islam
[00:43:58] Maca, chiv. Well, you're letting a lot of people down. You lose that fight. Imagine I
[00:44:04] named my son Jesus Christ. Can you imagine going through the TSA and handing them a fucking
[00:44:09] ID that says Islam Maca, Jeff? Yeah. Well, he's like a white Muslim, probably. He's like a
[00:44:15] Dagestani kind of guy. We all know that's worse. Yeah. Well, of course, I mean, we all know that's
[00:44:20] worse, of course, but you know, whatever. So yeah, we're going with Islam, guys. Put money on Islam.
[00:44:28] You got a great line. They have live betting. You could bet during a game. Right now, you have the
[00:44:34] second inning of white Muslim white Muslim, two separate things that you think would be all right.
[00:44:38] Then you like, you know, it's like a cronut. You combine the two of them. And it's like, this is
[00:44:41] disgusting. Yeah, this is fucking this is just too much, man. That's where MMA comes out of that.
[00:44:47] That's where you know, you get that guy. Kabib, you know, yeah, best guys mix Muslim arts. That's
[00:44:53] what they should call it. Put that karate down. Karate is for Chinese people. Yeah, you can go to
[00:45:03] this fucking website. You can bet on shit. My bookie.com put in promo code T A F S or C F S and you get a
[00:45:10] nice welcome bonus. They got a sports book, casino racing, you could deposit. They have a contest. You
[00:45:17] want to hear about one of their contests, Nick? They got the my bookie super contest. You think,
[00:45:22] you know, football, pick five games against the spread each week, earn points for the wins and battle
[00:45:26] for a huge cash prices all season long. They got the survivor contest. Are you a survivor?
[00:45:33] Prove it. Pick one team each week straight up. No spread if your team wins. You move on to the
[00:45:38] next week. If they lose, you're out. You can't pick the same team twice. How long can you survive
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[00:46:04] So go to my bookie.ag put in promo code TAFS and you get some good shit for that. Damn. What's up,
[00:46:13] dude? I don't know. I just really don't want to have to get on a fucking play in the morgue. I wish I
[00:46:17] could just wake up at the maybe you should change your name to Islam. Magnetship. I flew way too much
[00:46:21] this weekend. You've been in and out. West Coast is rough. For a weekend, it is rough. Yeah. Yeah. That
[00:46:29] weekend when I did Seattle and came back and then did LA. I was doing CNX and then Vegas in quick
[00:46:35] succession. That's a then sitting on the fucking tarmac forever in Phoenix waiting delaying the flight.
[00:46:41] You should have chilled with my dad, dude. Yeah, that would have made it better. Yeah, of course. Yeah.
[00:46:46] You guys are you guys got along great. You met each other. Do you tickle you? No. I think you did.
[00:46:52] I have a picture of it. He did not. I have a picture of my father tickling. He did not tickle me. I did.
[00:46:57] I've never been tickled in my life. Who's tickling for?
[00:47:01] Babe. Ticklings for Adam's dad. I don't know. Ticklings for my penis. So yeah,
[00:47:10] yeah, well, just don't go then. Tell him you have the coronavirus. I gotta go. We can't do this on live
[00:47:17] air because of any of you. Yeah, it's the last. It's the last. Last weekend. And then the show changes.
[00:47:27] And then what? Our show changes. Yeah. In the next two weeks. Yep. Yeah, the last weekend and then
[00:47:33] yeah, I gotta I gotta get off the road. Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, I can't ride on the road.
[00:47:42] I don't really hate this fucking hour. I'm doing that. You know, it could ride on the road.
[00:47:46] Oh, that Jack Kerouac. Yeah, he did ride it. Riding books is for babies.
[00:47:53] Well, the party's a noble. Yeah. I got one of you been up to.
[00:48:04] Oh, no, not shit, dude. Nothing. Yeah. Having those dreams again. What kind of dreams?
[00:48:12] What is about the female bodybuilder? Should we bring back the dream analysis segment?
[00:48:16] Maybe we can if you want. What is the dream of here is for real? I'm in the gym. Yeah. I'm doing a set.
[00:48:24] It's a squat rack. I turn around. It's all a bunch of muscular women. Yeah. Six, five, huge. Yeah.
[00:48:31] Sweating, laughing at me. I pull my pants down to the left of my penis. I tell them, like,
[00:48:39] leave me alone. And one of them gets mad. That's a dream you have for real, though. Me? Yeah. Not a
[00:48:47] joke. Let's get into it. What did you dream about last night? I don't remember last night.
[00:48:52] This is the last dream I remember. Okay. My neighbors upstairs got mad at me. Yeah.
[00:49:00] Because my girlfriend ordered bagels for breakfast, right? Then we got a delivery of bagels.
[00:49:05] So I started eating the bagels. Turns out it was for them, right? They got furious. Yeah.
[00:49:11] No. And she was like, sorry, my boyfriend's an idiot. They're mad. How about furious satellite
[00:49:16] radio? Yeah, it'll be good. And it's fucking, who did I say? Oh, Dwight Yoke. He's like, I'm
[00:49:24] fucking pissed off. I'm pissed. Here I'm furious. Exhale. That'll be good. Okay. So that happened in
[00:49:34] real life, right? They're pissed at us. We gave them the bagels that we ordered. They were still mad.
[00:49:41] It's an honest mistake. I mean, we just made a fucking food delivery. They gave it delivered
[00:49:46] to us, whatever. So then I had this dream that my TV was out and I wanted to watch television.
[00:49:56] Barney. It wasn't Barney. Okay. And so then I remembered that they were out of town.
[00:50:05] So I checked their doorknob and it was open. Barney's already playing.
[00:50:11] And I went, it wasn't Barney, but the TV was working. Yeah. So I sat down, I was watching
[00:50:15] television. I love you. You love me. We're a happy family. And I was like, wow, these people
[00:50:20] hate me if I were to get in trouble. You know, I ate their bagels. They're gonna be fucking
[00:50:24] piss off. Yeah. And you're watching Barney in their house. You imagine that's like fucking a
[00:50:28] guy's wife watching Barney on his TV. And then legitimately, this is real. I've gotten into
[00:50:34] something I call Barney cuckolding. This is real. I leave the room and I let another man let a big
[00:50:39] black guy watch Barney on my TV and play with my toys. I'm out like Baldwin and I'm here raising
[00:50:49] awareness for baby, baby dumb cuckolding. I leave my, I go on vacation and I let a big black man
[00:50:58] come in my house and play with my toys and watch my Barney tapes. So I'm watching the television
[00:51:04] at their house. And then a door opens. I freak out. I was like, fuck, now they're gonna hate me forever.
[00:51:11] And it's like, they're like, I'm like, I'm sorry. And they're like, what are you doing here? I kind
[00:51:17] of forget even that I'm in their apartment, which for a dream is interesting because you normally go
[00:51:22] to a different location. You forget the last one. But I kind of like left that location and came back
[00:51:27] and then they were like, I'm the dog sitter. And then literally for the two weeks after that,
[00:51:32] I thought that they were, I thought in my mind, I was like the relationship with the neighbors is
[00:51:37] irreparably damaged at this point. But it was based on that dream. The Barney dream? They had
[00:51:42] nothing to do with Barney. Yeah, the classic Barney dream. But what does that mean to you?
[00:51:51] I'm gonna make millions dollars and I'm gonna buy the rights to the therapy and I'm gonna become
[00:51:56] the only therapist in the United States. And then I'm gonna say you buy the rights of them. I don't
[00:52:01] know, but I'm gonna sit down and I'll have nothing but mafia clients. Yeah. And they're looking to
[00:52:06] analyze this. Yes, would you come here for? I don't know. I've got stuff I can't really work out. You
[00:52:11] watch Barney. I don't watch Barney. You fucking piece of shit. Go J. I watch fucking Barney.
[00:52:16] They all they grab for their piece. Yeah. Yeah. You're at gunpoint. What are you gonna do? You're
[00:52:21] gonna shoot me? It's not gonna change the fact that you watch Barney. You don't break a sweat. Yeah.
[00:52:26] I did this for a living pal. I see guys that watch Barney all day long.
[00:52:32] You know, they almost cast Alec Baldwin as Jennifer Murphy. Did they? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah.
[00:52:38] It's a little Hollywood legend for you. Yeah. Yeah. But he wouldn't wear the women's clothes.
[00:52:42] He wouldn't wear the women's power suit. Yeah. He's like, I'm doing it in a Brooks Brothers suit.
[00:52:48] No, no, no. Like, come on. You gotta be... Jennifer Malph is she's an Italian woman. Come on, Alec.
[00:52:52] We really wanted you. I know you're Irish, but you could play Italian. We really wanted you.
[00:52:56] Is an Italian woman? Italian woman therapist. Yeah. But like a kind of highfalutin. Not like a,
[00:53:01] you know, not like a piece of crap like a... Me, I'm just some Northern Italian bitch. And you,
[00:53:09] you're scum. You're Sicilian scum to me. But I wanna fuck you, sort of. But I won't do it.
[00:53:17] And you're gonna have a dream where you fuck me. It'll take me five seasons to figure it out.
[00:53:34] Shane G2, it's theaters. Yeah. I hear he has 20 rings. Yeah. To promote the movie,
[00:53:42] our next guest is the Asian woman that works at the Dollar Dumpling Place on Mott Street.
[00:53:48] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you're, you excited? Do you have a clip to share?
[00:53:56] I can't hear. I can't do it. What? Yeah. It's me, the Chinese lady that sells dollar dumplings on Mott
[00:54:09] Pork bun $1 for five. Pork dumplings, five for $1.
[00:54:15] Yeah. Can you still get that deal? What?
[00:54:18] That used to be my poverty food. Don't act like you went there.
[00:54:24] Dude, of course I went there. You were living in fucking Bedstuy. You were living in Bushwick,
[00:54:29] weren't you? I was living in Bushwick first with the tickling guy. The tickling? Now,
[00:54:34] before that, you were living with Eric for a while. I stayed with Eric for a week. Oh, I thought
[00:54:39] you were there for a minute. No, I stayed with Phil for a week and maybe Eric for a week too.
[00:54:43] Yeah. You lived with the tickler and then I lived with the tickling guy. You lived in
[00:54:46] Ford Green or Clinton Hill. And then I lived in Clinton Hill with Ben. I lived in Chinatown.
[00:54:51] I lived blocks away from that place. I'd eat there every fucking day. It was a good deal. That
[00:54:55] or dollar slice pizza. You get fed for $5. Yeah. Yeah. That's like civil war food.
[00:55:01] Dumplings and pizza. Yeah. How funny is that? That you go down. You go, you personally have to go.
[00:55:07] You're just some guy that has a bullshit job and a factory in New York. Yeah. You've been saved up
[00:55:12] for 30 years to buy your first tie and then it gets caught in the machine and almost rips your
[00:55:17] head off. And then they're like, hey, there's a way out of this factory thing. It's not really,
[00:55:22] you don't have a choice. We're just going to send you there anyways. But you got to go end
[00:55:25] slavery and you're like, what's slavery? And they're like, people are forced to work. And you're like,
[00:55:30] that's my life. This, you know, and they're like, no, they're black. And you're like,
[00:55:35] put my head back in the machine now. That's what gangs in New York was. And then they march
[00:55:40] you all the way to fucking Mississippi. And then, you know, you kill 800 rednecks.
[00:55:47] All your friends get a cannonball to the head. You kill 800 rednecks. Now, like time for lunch.
[00:55:52] Here's a saltine cracker. Here's a saltine cracker that a retarded guy made. And the only recipe
[00:55:57] he had was the picture on the box. That was it. It's the hard tack. Was that it? That's what they
[00:56:06] called it. Hard tack. Those were saltine crackers. Yeah, it was just like, they didn't get a stew.
[00:56:14] I don't think they got a still got a salt, a salt cube that you could dissolve in water.
[00:56:20] And a premium saltine cracker. They didn't get any like TV dinners. Yeah, they didn't get
[00:56:26] Salisbury steak. Have you ever had a Salisbury steak? Of course. I've never had one. Yeah.
[00:56:31] What is it from the microwave? Yeah, the microwave is like hungry man. There's a sauce on it.
[00:56:35] Salisbury steak hungry man. Does it taste good? No. Is it like a composite of different pieces of
[00:56:41] meat? Like a spam? Yeah, it's like fucking yeah, it's like just yeah, it's just all the scraps.
[00:56:45] It's like connective tissue and shit. It's from the floor. Yeah. Yeah, basically. Of the butchery.
[00:56:50] That's got gravy on it. That sounds pretty good. I had to prep a bunch of them when I did,
[00:56:55] when I worked with the not the food bank, but a different kind of volunteer thing. I mean,
[00:56:58] like a kitchen for homeless people. What about a food bank? But it's run by the Jewish media.
[00:57:04] Yeah. People come. They're like, I want to deposit my food. Yeah, big fat Jewish guy being like,
[00:57:10] the food bank. You don't say I'm going to be president of the food bank one day.
[00:57:19] So this Kanye West stuff, is it is it hurt? Are you seeing that I'm being hurt by this?
[00:57:26] I don't know what's going on. He's really mad at Jewish people. Isn't he Jewish? No, he's not Jewish.
[00:57:34] I thought that was this whole thing. Well, I mean, oh, he's black. He's black. He's black.
[00:57:40] She called Kanye West Bank. He's Palestinian. Pretty good.
[00:57:45] Yeah. So, seriously, I'm eight tomorrow morning. Yes, seven a.m. I'll be here at 11
[00:57:56] for the electrical. Oh, yeah. This is coming down. Yeah, that's coming down. And then,
[00:58:03] you know what I kind of want to do is we'll get like a big, big stand over there,
[00:58:06] and I want to put a spotlight in that back corner. Yeah. So when you walk out here,
[00:58:09] we have all the lights off. Hit you with the spotlight. That'd be great.
[00:58:15] So we don't, especially for the reveal that be pimp. Yeah, for the monologue. That'd be sick.
[00:58:19] Yeah. I mean, like, you know that. Maybe I could be reacting to the blinding light.
[00:58:23] Yeah. You know, like, like, was it Bronson? Yeah. Yeah.
[00:58:28] I have to be naked fighting prisoner. Yeah, we have you come out naked.
[00:58:33] Soven in species. I put you in an ice bath beforehand, then you come out and you have to do the monologue.
[00:58:38] Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. I thought that that's sort of my dream. That's pretty bad. That's
[00:58:43] naked and afraid. Have you seen the show naked and afraid? Yeah. I'm never afraid when I'm naked.
[00:58:52] Oh, until Bonnie comes on. And that's when I come, I don't watch a party. It's too scary.
[00:58:59] It's the only thing that makes me come.
[00:59:03] That's sort of here's a mid register that's sort of in there. Yeah.
[00:59:06] Yeah. It's the only thing that makes me come. That's pretty good. Yeah.
[00:59:15] What are you exhausted from? Me? Yeah. The unbearable lightness of being
[00:59:23] the unbearable lightness of being Chinese. What was that? That was a movie about getting pussy.
[00:59:27] That's a new movie that's out there. That was a book about getting
[00:59:30] Chinese everywhere. Everyone Chinese. Everyone Chinese all at once.
[00:59:33] Everyone's always Chinese at once. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds pretty good.
[00:59:39] Somebody said I heard it was bad. I heard it was a piece of shit.
[00:59:42] According to Freddie, it's bad. Who's Freddie? Freddie the Boer. He's still doing his thing.
[00:59:49] I subscribe to his sub stack when he's signed up. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I like Freddie.
[00:59:53] And he's mad at movies? I don't know. I never read it. I just, you know,
[00:59:57] why is he a friend of mine and there or he's had just a casual acquaintance or somebody that
[01:00:01] happened to be canceled for whatever reason. I'll just give them money.
[01:00:08] Oh man. Well, have fun in Minneapolis. Yeah, I just got an email. He was in my email.
[01:00:14] He's like, this movie's overrated. Fuck this movie. I don't think anyone liked that movie. Yeah.
[01:00:20] But people did like Shang-Chi for the Legend of the Ten Rings.
[01:00:24] They did like Shang-Chi. Yeah. And did you like Shang-Chi? I went with my girlfriend and I was
[01:00:32] in the middle of the day. It was really hot. And I think I was like, I was like being horny.
[01:00:39] In the movie theater? Yeah. Towards of the Chinese guy. Well, I think Shang-Chi turned me on a lot.
[01:00:44] And my girlfriend, I was just like, I'll get a popcorn and put a hole in the bottom of it.
[01:00:49] And you can you can jack me off. I was like, his superhero costume should be him.
[01:00:54] And it's completely covered, but his penis is out. Shang-Chi. Yeah. Yeah. But he's got a big deck.
[01:01:01] Yeah, maybe. That's a superpower. And then he's like, working as just a Chinese guy. And they're
[01:01:05] like, did you see this big dick guy going around fighting crime? He's like, oh no, never. He's like,
[01:01:09] all right, I don't have a never. I think I heard that club being. I have no idea. Well,
[01:01:16] it's certainly not fucking you. Yeah, it can't be you obviously. But has anyone seen me in the
[01:01:23] same room? Nobody knows. This guy is. Why cheeky surprise. It could be a rooter. Well, that's
[01:01:33] going to have to do it. Thanks, man. This week, guys. Thank you. Patreon.com slash TAFS. And I'll