[00:00:00] Galaxy features Ted K

[00:00:19] classical music favorite in its time.

[00:00:25] the

[00:00:33] what's up everybody welcome to the atom freeland show

[00:00:39] and seared put on his headphones and world and we're all welcome to the

[00:00:42] unfreidland show

[00:00:44] well i hear

[00:00:46] and we're all

[00:00:47] welcome the monday episode patreon the final yet the next patreon

[00:00:54] episode there will be video

[00:00:56] the this is the final monday

[00:00:58] you know i'd like to do it because it's uh... we have something planned maybe

[00:01:00] drop a couple days early

[00:01:02] yet because monday is the big day

[00:01:04] is monday the big day monday is the big day all of them we don't need a drop

[00:01:08] at all

[00:01:08] so we can do it

[00:01:10] or we could do it

[00:01:11] just to ramp up to the big day

[00:01:13] all right

[00:01:14] yeah maybe

[00:01:15] and the big day and did you eat my ass

[00:01:18] it's gone

[00:01:19] no you know i got a

[00:01:19] still you're still raspy i think that's permanent

[00:01:23] you think you damage your vocal cords i think i did doing shows on top of it i

[00:01:27] think it's i've liked fucked up my

[00:01:28] vocal cords bandit yeah you're like um...

[00:01:32] my parents

[00:01:33] did he

[00:01:34] damages vocal

[00:01:33] did you say it's a lot of the same as i'm like

[00:01:37] well you are

[00:01:38] well you could you want to Minneapolis i feel like you're prince on mr minnesota

[00:01:42] mister

[00:01:43] you're expecting to see a mister minnesota a.k. the las vegas kid

[00:01:48] you're picking up the personality of every city you have no idea how tempting

[00:01:52] it was just by all the minnesota shit in the airport

[00:01:55] i'm thinking about i want to do like this i want to have like down syndrome

[00:01:59] aesthetic confidence yeah

[00:02:01] where i just decide to be in the things i just pick stuff and then i'm

[00:02:05] down syndrome guys do that they'll go to the here they'll hear about minnesota

[00:02:08] the bill i love me so i

[00:02:10] i said it's my favorite

[00:02:10] i like minnesota about the bill

[00:02:12] uh... minnesota vikings

[00:02:14] yeah like because you're what do you like about the vikings i'll do a good team

[00:02:17] what sport do they play

[00:02:18] minnesota

[00:02:22] like uh... alright nobody's gonna stop them

[00:02:24] you know

[00:02:25] yeah exactly

[00:02:27] so you want to have that confidence but for uh... airport clothes

[00:02:31] yeah give yourself the confidence of a man with words the next place you're

[00:02:34] traveling

[00:02:35] i will be in it governors in long island so you're going to get long island

[00:02:39] clothes uh... next weekend

[00:02:41] and me and i am saturday

[00:02:43] it's for yes two days

[00:02:44] real quick two days yeah

[00:02:46] for shows

[00:02:47] i think for sure

[00:02:48] pright inside it check it out the mold dot dog slash lard and get long island

[00:02:52] clothes you get a lot of the islanders

[00:02:55] and a shell islanders

[00:02:57] they came to brooklyn for a couple seasons and people are like that's gay

[00:03:00] and they went back to the nasa coliseum

[00:03:02] where they belong

[00:03:04] with those pieces that fucking shit over there when i go to the city i got my

[00:03:08] own coliseum here i got a coliseum here we got a coliseum they say it's as

[00:03:11] beautiful as roe

[00:03:13] hurricane sandy the coliseum

[00:03:17] billy jol

[00:03:19] yeah governors by tickets please check that out

[00:03:22] my tour is almost over

[00:03:24] i got governors magoobies and then san francisco and that's it i'm done

[00:03:28] all we're gonna get there in the airport you know some fucking uh...

[00:03:32] gay shit

[00:03:33] mhm some bond did some some some fucking rice erone's what is that

[00:03:38] those are some sort of fag food

[00:03:40] rice or the san francisco tree

[00:03:42] like who just a little treat

[00:03:44] i always thought it was funny when i see those commercials and they say san

[00:03:47] rice erone the san francisco treat

[00:03:49] because the whole time i thought the san francisco treat

[00:03:52] was gay sex

[00:03:54] it's pretty good yeah

[00:03:56] good i thought the san francisco treat was having gay sex with man

[00:04:00] oh what a treat with other men i thought that we can imagine just uh... having

[00:04:04] your ass pounded a little treat for me looking at your lover being like what a

[00:04:08] treat

[00:04:10] what a treat what a treat what a treat

[00:04:13] mike and can you press up she's kissing to my ass with your cock just a little

[00:04:17] treat for my from my uh... little something special for them for all

[00:04:21] benji

[00:04:22] oh yeah for all benjamy benjamy benjamy the butthole that's what they call me

[00:04:26] oh shit

[00:04:29] you just remember to me we lost two comics for a while

[00:04:33] not to book at the last second who did you lose for the

[00:04:36] the the filly boys are the filly boy dead filly boys tommy pope

[00:04:41] and chris o'conneur chris angel chris angel

[00:04:45] chris angel the mind freak i love how those guys are all just a little crew

[00:04:49] and it's so much less uh... like

[00:04:52] like not that it's like kind of

[00:04:54] i i don't want to make this is what you said but i was going to say that the

[00:04:57] the chicago outfit

[00:04:59] do you remember them the clicking this and they're a real piece of shit i don't

[00:05:02] really like it but the filly guys the way they stick together i appreciate

[00:05:05] his family

[00:05:06] yeah i was fast in the furious style of like attitude to your local it's more

[00:05:11] like it's a it's like a it's like a special education class

[00:05:14] yet she's been diesel shaded the indiesia special education class

[00:05:21] good one shane

[00:05:22] at the end of the day we are all family

[00:05:26] uh... yet another philly that my life of court pounder with cheese at a time

[00:05:31] them dem philly boys yeah we don't we don't boys

[00:05:34] dem philly boys we don't we don't boys there is charade had a period where you

[00:05:37] just kept saying that over and over

[00:05:39] we don't boys and i'd love saying we don't boys

[00:05:41] it's so sick and the charade we got a lot of the show

[00:05:46] is around easier as is the sound is he doing race wars still is a lot of

[00:05:49] time care of self is it

[00:05:51] yet a loss of a two-way for a minute years ago but yet and i see he said he's a

[00:05:55] healthy guy now

[00:05:59] uh... charade car michael charade car michael

[00:06:03] i'm so glad he's doing so well

[00:06:08] okay so i got a book funny moms are right before the show starts

[00:06:13] sounds great you were about that

[00:06:15] now your clutch player

[00:06:17] yet in mario and reverend in mario all the reverend

[00:06:21] from uh... yeah

[00:06:22] i can i can whip something up

[00:06:24] we can see

[00:06:25] i got three hours we don't we didn't boys

[00:06:28] when you just like to do a late lay-up line

[00:06:30] we don't we don't boys with all your best friends charade rose we didn't boys

[00:06:35] charlie rose my guest and i just clips

[00:06:38] uh... sing of uh...

[00:06:41] was it called what happened to the boy was the name of the song

[00:06:44] uh... what happened to the boys fabulous now that's clips

[00:06:48] what happened like what happened to that

[00:06:50] what happened to the boy that's clips

[00:06:53] no it's fabulous

[00:06:54] now breathe is fabulous

[00:06:57] we could have more than one song i don't think it does it

[00:07:01] i'm telling i think it's bad i'm pretty sure it's clips

[00:07:05] what happened to that what happened to that boy i'm charlie rose

[00:07:10] tonight's guest uh... it's baby featuring clips

[00:07:14] i'm wrong

[00:07:16] once again adam fidel improve wrong the bird man that that

[00:07:19] that should have been the uh... clue the bird noise the background yeah

[00:07:24] well

[00:07:26] clips v a n o

[00:07:29] and then the end world we didn't boys but who all the boys tonight on charlie

[00:07:33] rose i'll talk to you that we didn't boys was was calif i talked to black

[00:07:37] people

[00:07:39] to get to the bottom of who the boys are who are the boys

[00:07:43] my joke in many appleis was going around asking people like

[00:07:46] hey man what kept who's george floyd

[00:07:51] hey i saw your sign outside who who is george floyd is there a lot of george

[00:07:55] stuff

[00:07:56] that's also george is our stuff some george so people rockin with himself

[00:08:00] you see more george stuff than like black lives matter stuff

[00:08:04] also in the mall america myself probably most black owned business i've ever seen

[00:08:08] in my life was called something called

[00:08:11] five b-lose

[00:08:14] is everything five dollars i don't know what i think i don't know

[00:08:16] the same as i guess i could set for supposed to be five below

[00:08:21] you know five below

[00:08:22] yeah i know five but this was five i'm not an idiot i didn't see a five below

[00:08:26] and i was like oh this is a black person no i know that story

[00:08:30] yeah i know but it was the number five and then b u l

[00:08:33] people love that you see yeah five

[00:08:36] b-lose yeah i guarantee that one didn't burn down

[00:08:39] yeah imagine going to the bank for your love that place was

[00:08:42] that the temperature didn't even go up with a

[00:08:45] digit we got to protect five b-lose five b-lose

[00:08:48] stayed cool that was like a walk-in freezer during the floyd riots

[00:08:51] if you imagine you're you're a black uh

[00:08:54] entrepreneur you're going to the bank and you're trying to

[00:08:57] pitch them your five b-lose concept i'm going to start a landscaping

[00:09:01] company called black mode business and it's black lawnmowers

[00:09:07] and it's all mexican guys working there candy paint lawnmowers

[00:09:14] five percent two yeah

[00:09:18] ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

[00:09:20] i listened to that song the other day

[00:09:23] ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

[00:09:26] i listened to Slim Bug featuring Mike Joe

[00:09:30] nothing but the dog gave me what's going on outside i'm having my lawnmower

[00:09:34] i'm having my lawnmower black black

[00:09:36] my black-white mode business black-black ode

[00:09:39] mode mode is black mode business

[00:09:42] black mode lawns i was saying to this i pitched this to shame

[00:09:46] He'd just stop responding because it's not what's offensive.

[00:09:49] But it's in the 1800s referring to some people as business-owned blacks.

[00:09:57] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[00:09:58] It's not offensive.

[00:10:00] It's kind of clever.

[00:10:01] I mean, it is offensive, it's clever.

[00:10:03] Let me try it this way.

[00:10:05] I saw a lot of these black-owned businesses.

[00:10:08] How about blue business-owned blacks?

[00:10:09] I was thinking back in the 1800s, what if they had business-owned blacks?

[00:10:13] I tried telling that joke to an alligator.

[00:10:17] I'd love to see you try, buddy.

[00:10:19] Try and say that to an alligator, pal.

[00:10:21] Yeah.

[00:10:22] But yeah, Minneapolis was so much fun.

[00:10:24] That was the most fun I've had doing shows in probably years.

[00:10:27] Really?

[00:10:28] What a great weekend.

[00:10:29] It's a good comedy city.

[00:10:30] It's a good comedy city.

[00:10:31] It's a great town.

[00:10:33] You like it there?

[00:10:34] I loved it, dude.

[00:10:35] Every minute of it.

[00:10:36] Didn't our friend Ian go to a place called the Gay 90s when he relays?

[00:10:39] I had a place called Gay 90s there, yeah.

[00:10:41] Was it fun?

[00:10:42] I didn't go.

[00:10:43] I saw it.

[00:10:44] Why?

[00:10:45] I don't know.

[00:10:46] I just started thinking of my own ideas for businesses.

[00:10:51] The capitalist in UK now, you wanted to compete.

[00:10:54] My own strip club called Let There Be Peanuts.

[00:10:57] It's Gay God.

[00:11:00] Gay God and repose reaching out and gently touching his fingertip to the top of David's

[00:11:06] penis.

[00:11:07] Yeah, there's a shining light.

[00:11:08] Who is it in the...

[00:11:09] Who's the other guy in the club?

[00:11:10] It's Adam.

[00:11:11] It's Adam.

[00:11:12] It's God and his boyfriend.

[00:11:13] Well, God has jacked in it.

[00:11:15] Yeah, God's like...

[00:11:16] He's also got a wax chest.

[00:11:19] Yeah.

[00:11:20] No, they're both massive and their dicks are so small.

[00:11:22] They're tiny dicks.

[00:11:24] And they're fingers.

[00:11:25] They're like, let's have sex.

[00:11:27] I choose you.

[00:11:28] Let's have the gay.

[00:11:29] It's kind of sex you can have.

[00:11:31] It's just gently touching each other's fingertips from Chay's lounges.

[00:11:36] Let there be penis.

[00:11:38] Let there be penis.

[00:11:39] I did the gay God nightclub.

[00:11:43] I believe in a gay God.

[00:11:45] Yeah.

[00:11:46] No, I'm straight out.

[00:11:47] I'm like in love with Minneapolis, dude.

[00:11:48] That's awesome.

[00:11:49] Yeah.

[00:11:50] It was it was it was salubrious.

[00:11:51] I'd call that weekend.

[00:11:52] I don't know what that means.

[00:11:54] What does it mean?

[00:11:55] Like health giving.

[00:11:56] Really?

[00:11:57] Yeah.

[00:11:58] Even though I was drunk the entire time.

[00:11:59] Oh, yeah.

[00:12:00] You're back on it.

[00:12:01] Yeah, I really got to I got to rein that in.

[00:12:03] It started as a joke, but you know me.

[00:12:05] I take jokes too far.

[00:12:06] Yeah.

[00:12:07] I was just relapsing on alcohol after 10 years as a bitch.

[00:12:11] That's what happened.

[00:12:12] It was a good bit.

[00:12:13] Didn't you say you were like, yeah, when I'm 30, I'll drink it.

[00:12:16] You made it another three years.

[00:12:17] I made it another three years.

[00:12:18] That was the plan.

[00:12:19] That was your plan.

[00:12:20] I was 24.

[00:12:21] I was a loser.

[00:12:22] And I was like, let me get sober and I'll quit drinking until I'm 30.

[00:12:24] And if I'm still the same amount of loser that I am, then what the fuck?

[00:12:28] Why not drink?

[00:12:29] You know what I mean?

[00:12:30] You got rich.

[00:12:31] I think you get rich.

[00:12:32] But I am still a loser.

[00:12:34] You're still a loser.

[00:12:35] Yeah.

[00:12:36] Who knew?

[00:12:37] You got me a Tom of Finland jigsaw puzzle.

[00:12:39] I'm like, yeah.

[00:12:40] All right.

[00:12:41] Thanks, man.

[00:12:42] Then I get home and I'm like, I'm doing.

[00:12:44] Just opening it up and get the zip lock bags out.

[00:12:47] Yeah, you're like, I got to laminate this.

[00:12:49] I'm going to have it on the wall.

[00:12:50] Yeah.

[00:12:51] Thanks, dude.

[00:12:52] Yeah.

[00:12:53] You're gluing it.

[00:12:54] So you're getting it in a frame.

[00:12:55] And I'm like, why?

[00:12:56] They're like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[00:12:58] Nice, nice, nice, nice.

[00:13:01] Oh, we didn't set up the camera.

[00:13:06] That's where the little cami test.

[00:13:07] That's all right, because there's cards I have.

[00:13:09] I want to practice editing the shit.

[00:13:11] Yeah, yeah.

[00:13:12] We did a little camera.

[00:13:13] No one's going to see it, but we did a little camera test.

[00:13:14] The last one.

[00:13:15] I'm trying to learn Da Vinci resolve.

[00:13:16] Yeah.

[00:13:17] So you could be just like that guy that.

[00:13:19] Da Vinci.

[00:13:20] So in order to be sure.

[00:13:21] So you could paint a picture of the game.

[00:13:22] That's how you got it.

[00:13:23] You can put it in the figure to add the tip of Adam's feet.

[00:13:26] Just gently touching Adam's tiny bone.

[00:13:29] Just a tiny erection.

[00:13:30] Gay God.

[00:13:31] And the gay God.

[00:13:35] Bruce Gautan is gay God.

[00:13:41] For the creators of Bruce Almighty comes gay God.

[00:13:47] Bruce would be a good name for gay God.

[00:13:48] Yeah, Bruce is a good gay.

[00:13:50] Bruce Almighty is just a gay God.

[00:13:51] It's just a gay is the...

[00:13:53] And his name is also Bruce Almighty.

[00:13:57] That's pretty good.

[00:13:58] I like the idea of gay God.

[00:14:01] I think we can pitch that.

[00:14:02] We're going to have to have a gay face.

[00:14:04] You've got to pitch me.

[00:14:05] You've got to get a peacock show.

[00:14:07] Yeah.

[00:14:08] Well, this is what we got to do.

[00:14:09] We got to write all our ideas and then just go to like a bondage bar or something like

[00:14:13] that and hire them to be our public faces.

[00:14:17] And we just write under a gnome de plume.

[00:14:18] We have these two leather daddies.

[00:14:20] They're selling scripts around town.

[00:14:22] But little do they know it's us.

[00:14:24] How about a gnome?

[00:14:25] Secret gay.

[00:14:26] Gnome de poon.

[00:14:27] And it's a name you use.

[00:14:28] A name you use for having sex.

[00:14:30] Sex with pussy.

[00:14:31] That's my gnome de poon is Orlando Da Vinci.

[00:14:39] Just feeling hard.

[00:14:43] Yeah.

[00:14:44] My name is Orlando Da Vinci.

[00:14:45] It's my gnome de poon.

[00:14:46] I feel the bed with roses and like 800 candles.

[00:14:49] 10 seconds.

[00:14:50] Just a fast bit.

[00:14:52] Yeah.

[00:14:53] Two pubs.

[00:14:54] Yeah.

[00:14:55] There's a bubble bath.

[00:14:56] There's a bubble bath set up.

[00:14:57] You got a fucking cool in the gang playing.

[00:14:59] You put the bitch down.

[00:15:00] You just immediately took her hat.

[00:15:05] That'd be a great scene for Lando Da Vinci.

[00:15:10] Or Lando Da Vinci.

[00:15:11] My gnome de poon.

[00:15:13] Yeah.

[00:15:14] That's true.

[00:15:15] They teach pickup artistry.

[00:15:17] They don't teach not busting really quick artistry.

[00:15:20] I'm moving away from the pickup artistry.

[00:15:22] Now I'm on a breakup artistry.

[00:15:24] I'm trying to get my bread right.

[00:15:26] Yeah.

[00:15:27] That's right.

[00:15:28] I can come back to the bitches once my bread right.

[00:15:30] But also you can meet bitches at the bank.

[00:15:33] I'm starting a business where we buy every car fax or every car and then we make it

[00:15:37] free.

[00:15:39] Is it free?

[00:15:40] Yes, already.

[00:15:41] All dealerships are like, yeah, here's your free car fax.

[00:15:44] Like they're doing you a favor.

[00:15:45] But I feel like the website's free already.

[00:15:48] So fuck them.

[00:15:51] So I shouldn't get that car I showed you.

[00:15:54] They should have car fax for women.

[00:15:56] You know what I mean?

[00:15:58] For...

[00:15:59] Oh my God.

[00:16:00] I'm telling you, brother.

[00:16:02] Yes.

[00:16:03] Yeah.

[00:16:04] I'd like to see your service records.

[00:16:05] Yeah.

[00:16:06] You know what I'm saying?

[00:16:07] You'll like this.

[00:16:08] I'm glad I didn't tell you this off.

[00:16:09] I was laughing about it today.

[00:16:10] You'll appreciate this.

[00:16:11] You know what?

[00:16:12] It's truly hilarious that I didn't think about until this morning.

[00:16:15] The curves Jim went out of business.

[00:16:18] It's just...

[00:16:20] It's like, all right, sure, bitch.

[00:16:23] Yeah.

[00:16:24] You're going to the gym.

[00:16:25] Yeah.

[00:16:26] We'll see how that works.

[00:16:27] Yeah.

[00:16:28] Yeah.

[00:16:29] Yeah.

[00:16:30] Yeah.

[00:16:31] It seems like you guys are really committed to turning things around.

[00:16:37] That's so funny.

[00:16:38] Imagine the man that owned Kurt's gym just pissed off those fat bitches for letting them

[00:16:44] down.

[00:16:45] Right.

[00:16:46] How dare these fat...

[00:16:47] These fucking cows.

[00:16:48] Yeah.

[00:16:49] Pull me out of business.

[00:16:52] Yeah.

[00:16:53] My grandma found me like one of her neighbors is going to be out of town when I'm visiting

[00:17:00] her.

[00:17:01] Are you renting his house?

[00:17:02] I'm going to rent his apartment.

[00:17:05] And I looked up what he does.

[00:17:07] Should I become Mr. South Africa?

[00:17:09] You can come with me, bro.

[00:17:12] I'm telling you, you can meet the old Tupac and Cape Town.

[00:17:17] But I looked up what he does, but he runs like a UN NGO that's like four.

[00:17:21] It's like four women for like women's like whatever, like getting liberation or something.

[00:17:29] But it's just so funny.

[00:17:30] It's like a picture of him smiling and it's like headshot.

[00:17:32] But they put a man in charge of it.

[00:17:35] Yeah.

[00:17:36] And I'm saying it as hell.

[00:17:37] Yeah.

[00:17:38] It's always...

[00:17:39] I was just like when Oprah would go to Africa to build schools for girls.

[00:17:43] And it's like...

[00:17:44] So they don't even have buildings?

[00:17:46] Right.

[00:17:47] What do you mean, build the school?

[00:17:48] You just...

[00:17:49] They're on the floor.

[00:17:50] They're building anywhere that you can use.

[00:17:52] Maybe they should figure buildings out first before you're worried about schools.

[00:17:56] Right.

[00:17:57] Yeah, they're sleeping outside.

[00:17:58] Yeah, exactly.

[00:17:59] No, yeah.

[00:18:00] Oh, yeah.

[00:18:02] The other irony was he was a white man too from California who like went to South Africa

[00:18:07] to tell them like black ladies that they need to be equal.

[00:18:13] What are we looking at right now?

[00:18:14] I got a Kyla sent me a DM I got from Omar Shaukat.

[00:18:18] What do you say?

[00:18:20] He was at Skanksfest and I swear to God.

[00:18:23] I haven't seen him in years.

[00:18:24] Dude, I haven't seen him in years and it was wild because I was...

[00:18:26] Does he write wrestling or something?

[00:18:28] He does something.

[00:18:29] I don't know.

[00:18:30] But I was thinking about him.

[00:18:31] It's like he just popped into my head.

[00:18:32] I'm like, what the fuck happened to Omar?

[00:18:33] I never see him anymore.

[00:18:35] And then like literally 30 minutes later he just happened to be there.

[00:18:39] Was he doing comedy?

[00:18:42] No, he was working the event.

[00:18:44] Oh, he was working.

[00:18:45] Yeah.

[00:18:47] He works for the Skanks organization.

[00:18:48] Yeah, I thought he quit to stand up and got into acting.

[00:18:51] That's what I thought too, right?

[00:18:52] Yeah, because he had a couple of credits.

[00:18:54] He was on stuff.

[00:18:56] Yeah, he's very...

[00:18:57] He's photographing.

[00:18:58] Yeah, he looks like a genie.

[00:18:59] Yeah.

[00:19:00] He could be good.

[00:19:01] Who's that guy that actually looked like a genie?

[00:19:04] He was like a DC area comic and then he moved to Vegas and got kind of big.

[00:19:08] He looked like a genie.

[00:19:10] Oh, Mac is in?

[00:19:11] Yeah.

[00:19:12] Yeah.

[00:19:13] He looks like...

[00:19:14] It wasn't really a DC comic.

[00:19:15] He was kind of all over.

[00:19:16] Was he?

[00:19:17] Yeah, he wound up.

[00:19:18] He was up in DC, I think, but yeah, he's been around forever.

[00:19:21] He's been around since the early 80s.

[00:19:22] I remember when I was back in Vegas, though, so he had a room or something in Vegas.

[00:19:27] Good for him.

[00:19:28] Yeah.

[00:19:29] He's another guy that turned his life around.

[00:19:31] Really?

[00:19:32] He was a big fat guy and then he got really into juicing.

[00:19:34] He got into juicing, lost like six million pounds and then got like a hot Russian wife.

[00:19:40] Really?

[00:19:41] Yeah.

[00:19:42] All it took was juice.

[00:19:43] Yeah, juice.

[00:19:44] Yeah.

[00:19:45] He got like super into juicing.

[00:19:46] Because I remember this was like, this is now going back like 12, 13 years ago, but he

[00:19:49] would post pictures of like, he's like, yeah, today's hall.

[00:19:52] And then he would show his refrigerator and it was just like filled with different types

[00:19:55] of lettuce.

[00:19:56] Really?

[00:19:57] Yeah.

[00:19:58] And it's like, I hope you have juicing friends because like regular people aren't going to

[00:20:00] be like, wow, lettuce.

[00:20:03] You know what I mean?

[00:20:05] Yeah.

[00:20:06] Yeah.

[00:20:07] That's, yeah.

[00:20:08] I feel like I should get into...

[00:20:10] Did you eat my ass?

[00:20:12] That sounds good.

[00:20:13] Yeah, but there's...

[00:20:14] I had...

[00:20:15] It's like rusty kind of...

[00:20:17] He has a thing.

[00:20:18] It's almost like a metallic quality, metallic Baldwin.

[00:20:22] Dude, can you imagine that?

[00:20:23] So he's posted this week and was incredible.

[00:20:25] I'm a robot now.

[00:20:26] Now I'm a robot.

[00:20:29] It's me, metallic Baldwin.

[00:20:31] You saw the post on I said it, too.

[00:20:33] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:20:34] You're off the Instagram.

[00:20:35] You missed the good ones.

[00:20:37] One year ago today.

[00:20:38] One year ago today.

[00:20:39] I shot a bitch.

[00:20:42] I'm going to do a funny joke.

[00:20:44] Dude, it's so chill.

[00:20:47] He just walked.

[00:20:48] I mean, it's not his fault, right?

[00:20:51] He put a fucking bullet in there.

[00:20:53] You know, I had a day job.

[00:20:54] They called me Alec called in.

[00:20:55] Really?

[00:20:56] Because I'd never shot him.

[00:20:57] I'd never shot him.

[00:20:58] The guy's running off.

[00:20:59] He's got a big laugh out of that one.

[00:21:01] They used to call me Black und Baldwin.

[00:21:03] Because I would never shot up to work it.

[00:21:10] Oh, man.

[00:21:16] Have you ever noticed, have you ever walked past like a big public housing building?

[00:21:21] No, never.

[00:21:22] That sounds dangerous.

[00:21:23] In New York City.

[00:21:24] That's always safe.

[00:21:25] And so many people have apartments that are just-

[00:21:27] I have Google Maps at the white mode.

[00:21:28] They just have red lights.

[00:21:30] Do you know what I mean?

[00:21:32] I think that-

[00:21:33] Yeah, you're right.

[00:21:34] People just chill in the red.

[00:21:36] What are they?

[00:21:37] They're into photography or something?

[00:21:38] They just never see the color blue, dude.

[00:21:40] It's a gang thing.

[00:21:41] Oh, yeah.

[00:21:42] There is blood.

[00:21:43] Yeah.

[00:21:44] So you know where they live?

[00:21:46] You can just say that.

[00:21:47] I don't know if I said when I was in Houston, somebody gave me a T-shirt that just says

[00:21:50] Houston Sippers on it.

[00:21:51] Yeah, it's a lead and shirt.

[00:21:52] I'll wear any shirt.

[00:21:53] You can give me a shirt.

[00:21:54] I'll put it on.

[00:21:55] Yeah.

[00:21:56] That's me.

[00:21:57] I saw you walk around that from the Bible.

[00:21:59] Unreal.

[00:22:00] The type of interactions that I have with you.

[00:22:01] People think it's cool.

[00:22:03] Gang members, literally.

[00:22:04] They've been coming up with you.

[00:22:05] Yeah, some guy with fucking numbers tattooed under his eye was like, bro, I'm-

[00:22:11] Mm.

[00:22:12] That's just tough, bro.

[00:22:14] Really?

[00:22:15] Yeah.

[00:22:16] I was like, oh, gee, thanks.

[00:22:17] Whoa, oh, oh, this?

[00:22:19] Are you guys in a gang?

[00:22:20] I got it in Houston.

[00:22:21] Because I'm around here and my name is Mr. Minnesota, AKA the Las Vegas kid.

[00:22:25] Someone gave me this.

[00:22:27] Soon to be Mr. South Africa.

[00:22:29] You trying to come, dude?

[00:22:30] We got to see the big five.

[00:22:31] What are the big five?

[00:22:33] Elephant.

[00:22:34] I thought who, what, where, when?

[00:22:37] Lion.

[00:22:38] Yeah.

[00:22:39] LGBTQ.

[00:22:40] I don't know.

[00:22:41] Elephant, lion, L. L. G. B. T. Q. L. G. B. B. Q. L. G. B. Q. L. G. B. Q.

[00:22:51] L. G. B. Q. School.

[00:22:53] Lion, Leopard, Rhino, Elephant, and Buffalo.

[00:22:57] Oh, it is LGBTQ.

[00:22:59] Yeah.

[00:23:00] LL. R. E. What's the gayest animal?

[00:23:03] Probably the giraffe, right?

[00:23:04] The fake snake.

[00:23:05] Yes.

[00:23:06] Well, you're doing the Zac Alfanaga's.

[00:23:08] The gayest man.

[00:23:09] I just saved you.

[00:23:10] See, the old show, the old show I would have said, why, Adam?

[00:23:14] Because of Zac Alfanaga's love with the purple.

[00:23:16] No, no, I would just let you do the bit.

[00:23:18] What is it?

[00:23:19] Yeah, there you go.

[00:23:20] You did it anyways.

[00:23:21] You did it anyway.

[00:23:23] You couldn't help yourself.

[00:23:24] The gayest animal, um, probably the giraffe, I'd say.

[00:23:30] The giraffe?

[00:23:31] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:32] He works at Toys R Us.

[00:23:33] Yeah.

[00:23:34] He's a pedophile.

[00:23:35] Toys R Us.

[00:23:36] Toys R Us manager is probably the best job for like one of those middle-aged gay guys

[00:23:39] that never got the cool package.

[00:23:42] Yeah, it's really into corporate culture.

[00:23:44] Yeah, if you're just like a loser, gay guy.

[00:23:46] He calls all the people that work for him team members.

[00:23:48] Hey, welcome to Toys R Us.

[00:23:50] Yeah.

[00:23:51] I'm Randy, I'm the manager here at Toys R Us.

[00:23:52] Oh, you're going to want to check out our nerf section.

[00:23:55] I can tell you're a little athlete.

[00:23:56] Thank you for calling Toys R Us on Route 35.

[00:24:01] I actually, I love it here so much.

[00:24:02] I want to get my name changed to Jeffrey.

[00:24:04] Well, I- Jeffrey is kind of a gay name too.

[00:24:06] I'm not getting in here.

[00:24:07] I was at Suncoast Video for years and then I managed a Spencer's gift and that was, you

[00:24:12] know, those were fun times in my life but I don't look back on them fondly.

[00:24:16] I was a young man.

[00:24:17] I made a lot of mistakes.

[00:24:18] I bought a lot of novelty items that, uh, that, uh, you know, some of them I regret.

[00:24:25] And now I'm doing-

[00:24:26] Yeah, I've heard my life around.

[00:24:27] When I was a little boy, I loved toys.

[00:24:30] Mm-hmm.

[00:24:31] And toys.

[00:24:32] Yeah, I'll try.

[00:24:33] I love just adding the S after, forgetting the be gay and adding.

[00:24:38] I loved toys and I-

[00:24:41] I-

[00:24:42] I-

[00:24:43] I-

[00:24:44] I-

[00:24:45] Sorry.

[00:24:46] And when I saw the job opening, I knew that I had to- I hadn't had to pull the trigger.

[00:24:54] Sorry.

[00:24:56] Sorry.

[00:24:57] And- and I said to myself, Brandy, you were going one of these things.

[00:25:03] He says, you're going to manage that toy as our ass and you're going to get a nicer

[00:25:07] apartment for you and mama.

[00:25:09] And she- she was saying to me the other day, she was talking so much crap.

[00:25:15] She was talking so much crap.

[00:25:17] She said, you- you filled our house with all this Spencer's crap.

[00:25:20] And what are- what am I supposed to do with all these horny toys?

[00:25:23] There are 17 boxes filled with your 40-year-over-the-hill birthday cards.

[00:25:28] What the hell am I supposed to do with all the-

[00:25:30] I don't know what happened to my regular cane.

[00:25:32] I just got this one with a rear-view mirror attached to bottom.

[00:25:34] Yeah, and I call- I- I have a nickname for her.

[00:25:37] I call her Miss Thing.

[00:25:38] My mom- my mom- my mom- my mom- my mom- Miss Thing.

[00:25:41] I call my mom Miss Thing.

[00:25:42] Yeah.

[00:25:43] Dude, those guys are great.

[00:25:44] Mm-hmm.

[00:25:45] So they're gay guys that are just gay for their mom.

[00:25:49] I got bald Sam.

[00:25:50] I forget, I don't know what I was so-called, because there's two two-

[00:25:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:25:53] Yeah.

[00:25:54] Yeah.

[00:25:55] He was just sending me a bunch of like Down syndrome TikTok videos.

[00:25:57] Really?

[00:25:58] Yeah.

[00:25:59] And he sent me one.

[00:26:00] I think the Down syndrome TikTok community is like doing like the lip-synching, the rap

[00:26:05] songs with like hand gestures.

[00:26:07] That's cool.

[00:26:08] Like they love doing that.

[00:26:09] Wait, don't two of them have like a cooking show or something?

[00:26:12] Like there's like a Down syndrome cooking show.

[00:26:14] It seems abusive.

[00:26:15] Yeah.

[00:26:16] There's people love it.

[00:26:17] I don't know, I don't think it's abusive.

[00:26:19] Well, who's got the camera, you know?

[00:26:22] Me.

[00:26:23] Yeah.

[00:26:24] The director.

[00:26:25] It's directed by Alec Baldwin.

[00:26:28] Wait, what was the one they wrapped?

[00:26:32] They go to the Eminem and stuff?

[00:26:35] We're going to pre-me.

[00:26:36] How do they remember all the words?

[00:26:38] They don't know any of the words.

[00:26:39] They just do the- Oh, they do the gang.

[00:26:41] They do the hand sign.

[00:26:42] That's funny.

[00:26:43] And it's just him sitting in the pastor.

[00:26:44] So he's this fat guy and he's just doing the hand signs and he keeps like pointing at

[00:26:49] his mom, like doing the point.

[00:26:51] Yeah.

[00:26:52] His mom's driving.

[00:26:53] Yeah.

[00:26:54] But the song's like about like fucking.

[00:26:55] So he's like, you know I got him.

[00:26:57] But you know, he keeps like, like, pretty surprising.

[00:27:00] And his mom's just not even reacting.

[00:27:02] She's just driving the car.

[00:27:03] Oh my God.

[00:27:04] She's like, they're going to love this on TikTok.

[00:27:07] Yeah.

[00:27:08] She's like, Randy, put that phone down.

[00:27:09] Rade, what's up TikTok?

[00:27:11] This mom, it's hard to- It's very funny that they have phones.

[00:27:15] Yeah.

[00:27:16] Yeah.

[00:27:17] What are they?

[00:27:18] Well, they got to play games, dude.

[00:27:19] They're calling Joe Biden all day long.

[00:27:21] Yeah.

[00:27:22] Pizzed by them.

[00:27:23] Yeah.

[00:27:24] I got, I got, I was there 16.

[00:27:25] I was 16, 17, 17.

[00:27:26] You said video him?

[00:27:27] No.

[00:27:28] He's just getting, I mean, at what point?

[00:27:30] Is he dead?

[00:27:31] Yeah, I mean, the problem is like the fucking, like, conservatives definitely jumped the

[00:27:36] gun on the Joe Biden heads dementia.

[00:27:38] Like he slowed down a bit, you know, he's an old guy.

[00:27:40] But now, I mean, some of these fucking videos, I don't know, like how you excuse, I mean,

[00:27:44] I can accept that, like, maybe it's just like editing, you catch him in a moment or something.

[00:27:49] Yeah.

[00:27:50] Like, even with editing, I don't like this guy- What was he saying?

[00:27:54] He's just mumbling.

[00:27:55] Somebody asked him a question.

[00:27:56] They were like, who are you endorsing?

[00:27:58] You know, and he's like, yeah, there's about, that was 16.

[00:28:02] What do you even want?

[00:28:03] Even when, even 20 hours, different, why are you different guys?

[00:28:09] And then somebody's just like, pulls him away.

[00:28:10] It's just, he's just nonsense.

[00:28:12] Do you remember that he was like, he was starting to crackle on the, on the campaign trail.

[00:28:17] They hit him away.

[00:28:19] And then I think he got a facelift.

[00:28:20] I think that's what happened.

[00:28:22] And they took it, they sent him out and he went out for that debate with Trump.

[00:28:28] They just pumped him with the adrenochrome.

[00:28:31] And he was just like, zoned in one last time.

[00:28:33] It was like his one last job.

[00:28:35] I think it was like the third debate with Trump.

[00:28:37] It's brutal.

[00:28:38] Life is such a tragedy.

[00:28:39] It's really sad that it becomes a way.

[00:28:41] You have to be the, they make you the president.

[00:28:44] All the worlds are staged and we're merely players.

[00:28:46] Yeah.

[00:28:47] Well, look at where we're sitting, brother.

[00:28:49] You live the life in act in seven, the state, life is a stage with seven acts.

[00:28:56] How's the first?

[00:28:57] Yeah, seven stages.

[00:28:58] There's seven stages.

[00:28:59] First one, you're a baby.

[00:29:02] I remember being a baby and black, back then black people were, there was also babies.

[00:29:07] They used to have black babies.

[00:29:10] Kamala, Kamala is great.

[00:29:12] Who's Kamala?

[00:29:17] What Carmella Harris, it would be a lot more fun.

[00:29:21] Yeah, that'd be great.

[00:29:22] I'm black, Tony.

[00:29:24] Tony, I'm black.

[00:29:25] Tony, I'm black.

[00:29:27] I'm black, Tony.

[00:29:29] Tony, it's me, black lady.

[00:29:33] Excuse me.

[00:29:35] Oh, part of this.

[00:29:41] Yeah, can I have some chips?

[00:29:46] Yeah, do you have any chips?

[00:29:53] Oh, God.

[00:29:55] Yeah, I don't know.

[00:30:02] We were talking about this from, probably talked about this before the show, but it's

[00:30:05] just, it's, I mean, we're 35 now or whatever, but it's, it's just, just a gay guy to just

[00:30:12] take it, send it.

[00:30:15] It's a gay guy just using his voice.

[00:30:18] It's still funny.

[00:30:20] Yeah.

[00:30:21] It's still funny to us.

[00:30:23] That Dolce de Leche, I don't know.

[00:30:27] Dolce de Leche, I'm here for.

[00:30:28] Yeah.

[00:30:29] Do you have any Dolce de Leche?

[00:30:30] Yeah, the Dolce de Leche.

[00:30:31] The Duncan.

[00:30:32] Just a snickering behind.

[00:30:33] I want to be telling my son that stuff.

[00:30:39] Yeah, so we're at a Duncan Donuts in an airport.

[00:30:42] My son is just doing gang signs and recording a dance and drinking some pretty art.

[00:30:47] Stop it.

[00:30:48] Stop that crap for a second.

[00:30:49] Come here.

[00:30:50] Let me tell you a story about how it used to be life, how it used to be for us.

[00:30:54] There used to be gay guys going up in Don't G

[00:30:42] Donuts saying do you have a Dolce de Leche?

[00:31:02] Oh, I love Duncan Donuts.

[00:31:14] Why is it so funny?

[00:31:18] I have no idea.

[00:31:20] It's just, is it hateful?

[00:31:22] No, I don't think so.

[00:31:24] Everything's been funny to me.

[00:31:25] I'll tell you, one nice weekend in Minneapolis.

[00:31:27] Now I got my heart back.

[00:31:28] Yeah, you see my hat.

[00:31:29] I'm chuckling.

[00:31:30] I had a great time.

[00:31:31] Let's win cities.

[00:31:32] You were just in Minneapolis, not St. Paul.

[00:31:34] What's going on over on St. Paul?

[00:31:35] I think that's the Trad cats side.

[00:31:38] That's the Trad cats.

[00:31:39] You'll have to ask Dasha what goes on over there.

[00:31:41] She's like, yeah, they're just like...

[00:31:44] They just say everyone's outfit's bad.

[00:31:48] Yeah.

[00:31:49] What else?

[00:31:51] What else?

[00:31:53] Yeah.

[00:31:54] Speaking of down syndrome community, so I got a matching Yeti Tumblers.

[00:32:00] Yeah, Nick and I both have Yeti.

[00:32:02] I got the watercolors.

[00:32:03] Water bottles.

[00:32:04] Is that a celebration for opening office?

[00:32:06] I surprise you with the watercolor.

[00:32:08] It's $40.

[00:32:09] And two, well the watercolor is $230.

[00:32:11] The watercolor is...

[00:32:12] Also, hold on.

[00:32:16] What is that?

[00:32:17] I want to celebrate it.

[00:32:18] No, but to be like, it was $40.

[00:32:20] No, that's an expensive water bottle.

[00:32:22] That's one of the most expensive water bottles you can buy.

[00:32:24] Yeah, right.

[00:32:25] Well, anyways, that surprises us.

[00:32:26] And it keeps the water cold for fucking days.

[00:32:29] Anyway, so they get the chug cap on there.

[00:32:32] And I left mine on.

[00:32:33] I love the pour.

[00:32:34] I left mine on.

[00:32:35] It's got great pour.

[00:32:36] I got stuck.

[00:32:37] And I was like, is there a trick to getting this thing off?

[00:32:39] Because I didn't want to put in a bench vice and fuck it up.

[00:32:42] Yeah.

[00:32:43] And so I Google chug cap stuck.

[00:32:47] I don't know what I put in, but I found the Yeti cooler subreddit.

[00:32:52] Yeah.

[00:32:53] Which has got to be just one of the most depressing things I've ever seen in my life.

[00:32:57] Who is it?

[00:32:59] Is it like operator kind of guys?

[00:33:00] Reddit is fucking bad.

[00:33:01] It's guys that came back from Iraq and now they're talking about water bottles.

[00:33:04] Reddit is absolute poison.

[00:33:06] Yeah, it's really sad.

[00:33:08] Well, the fact that it can turn literally anything into a community.

[00:33:12] Yeah.

[00:33:13] And like some of them are pretty depraved, like the pimple popping bullshit.

[00:33:16] Like at least there's probably some kind of sexual thing there.

[00:33:19] There's like something, something.

[00:33:20] It's like, oddly satisfying.

[00:33:23] Posting pictures of Yeti cups is not, you shouldn't have an account.

[00:33:26] And a community, you can't be like, oh, I got to check out what's going on with my Yeti

[00:33:31] cup friends.

[00:33:32] I'm gonna follow Yeti.

[00:33:34] Yeah.

[00:33:35] So what are they saying?

[00:33:36] They just post pictures of the fucking cups.

[00:33:38] They're like, oh, big weekend today drinking water.

[00:33:43] God, you're stickers.

[00:33:45] Yeah.

[00:33:46] I got the new and it's one of, they have these like hidden colors.

[00:33:48] Oh, look at that.

[00:33:49] It was into that as Mike Racine.

[00:33:50] He was telling me about it.

[00:33:51] He loves the Yeti water bottle.

[00:33:52] He's like, yeah.

[00:33:53] This is one of the, they have limited colors.

[00:33:56] Really?

[00:33:57] Yeah.

[00:33:58] That's so gay.

[00:33:59] They only have, they only get, you can only get these colors at certain times.

[00:34:03] Oh, but it's for Yeti coolers too.

[00:34:06] Yeah, but it's mostly the cups.

[00:34:08] But it's most, but I mean, the water bottles are really good.

[00:34:10] I was saying with David, I want to hear, here's this.

[00:34:12] If there's stuff, we still have Reddit guys that listen to the show.

[00:34:15] Can you please go, like, what's it called when you click?

[00:34:18] This is so sad.

[00:34:19] Not barricade.

[00:34:20] What's it called when you like raid a subreddit?

[00:34:22] The bar doesn't, no, no, no, like a bullet.

[00:34:27] They have like a bullet.

[00:34:28] It's supposed to be, isn't it?

[00:34:30] It's not barricaded.

[00:34:31] Anyways, go do that to the Yeti sub cooler.

[00:34:34] Someone make the account Mr. Minneapolis, aka the Las Vegas kid.

[00:34:39] And just, I like the idea of somebody that's, that's just posting on their, he's like super,

[00:34:44] super excited, commenting on every post, you know, talking about how much he loves Yeti coolers.

[00:34:49] And then just post pictures of you by yourself, cheersing no one with a Yeti rambler with

[00:34:56] 32 ounces of Jack Daniels in there, a toast to Kings on this fine Yeti afternoon, getting

[00:35:03] drunk by myself on the Yeti subreddit.

[00:35:05] Oh, they just dropped new Yeti sweaters and hoodies.

[00:35:08] Oh, great.

[00:35:09] That way everyone knows what kind of thermos I drink out of.

[00:35:11] This is so sad.

[00:35:12] This guy, he said, he's just a hooking tumbler, a yellow tumbler, says you only graduated

[00:35:19] paramedic school once, might as well treat yourself with a couple.

[00:35:25] Yeah.

[00:35:26] Right.

[00:35:27] People are so sad.

[00:35:29] And in the back, it's a little thing that's welcome to our home.

[00:35:34] Yeah.

[00:35:35] My friend gets his mom these for like every holiday.

[00:35:38] He gets her like a new like thing where it's like a piece of wood that's like painted on.

[00:35:42] That's how you know, that somebody didn't ever learn how to get gifts.

[00:35:45] And his mom loves them.

[00:35:46] I went to Christmas with this family once and he got her one that said, I love that you

[00:35:50] are my mom.

[00:35:51] It was Brian.

[00:35:52] It was Brian.

[00:35:53] It was Brian.

[00:35:54] Brian Brian P. Oh, okay.

[00:35:56] Our boy.

[00:35:57] Yeah.

[00:35:58] Brian P. Nierra, shout out to my boy.

[00:36:02] Shout out to his mom.

[00:36:03] Shout to his mom.

[00:36:04] I think I'm seeing it.

[00:36:05] I think he's coming to show tonight.

[00:36:06] Oh, he's going to be there tonight.

[00:36:08] Yes.

[00:36:09] Yes.

[00:36:10] Come on, everybody.

[00:36:11] Mm hmm.

[00:36:12] Yeah, guys.

[00:36:13] We're doing funny mums and everything.

[00:36:16] Everyone keeps asking.

[00:36:17] It's every Monday.

[00:36:18] And I'm going to push these shows.

[00:36:19] This is the end of the tour.

[00:36:21] Fucking governors this weekend.

[00:36:23] And then I think Mugubi's the weekend after that.

[00:36:25] Not this weekend.

[00:36:26] Governors is next weekend.

[00:36:27] Then Mugubi's.

[00:36:28] And then, uh, and then, uh, fucking.

[00:36:31] And then what?

[00:36:33] Yeah.

[00:36:34] Cobb's San Francisco.

[00:36:37] What is this?

[00:36:39] Ready coffee cup in the shower.

[00:36:43] Great combo.

[00:36:45] Jesus Christ.

[00:36:46] What are you doing?

[00:36:47] Jesus Christ.

[00:36:48] What the fuck are you doing?

[00:36:49] Why do you have to put the...

[00:36:52] Just, just, just suffer the quiet dignity of being alone.

[00:36:56] You're dying.

[00:36:57] Don't try.

[00:36:58] Yeah.

[00:36:59] You're dying.

[00:37:00] If you're not like when you wake up in the middle of the night and you make something's

[00:37:03] wrong, know that the answer is that you have nobody in your fucking life.

[00:37:09] There's no such thing as the Yeti community.

[00:37:11] It doesn't exist.

[00:37:12] It's as fictional as Yetis themselves as a matter of fact.

[00:37:17] Oh, this guy's pissed at Yeti.

[00:37:19] That's how...

[00:37:20] How about that for a joke, huh?

[00:37:21] What's the idea?

[00:37:22] That's like a Tom Mars.

[00:37:23] What's that again?

[00:37:24] The Yeti friendship.

[00:37:25] Uh, it's like that's about as, that's about as real as Bigfoot.

[00:37:28] That's pretty good.

[00:37:29] Or Yeti, whatever.

[00:37:30] Yeah, the Yeti.

[00:37:32] Yeah.

[00:37:34] This guy's mad because he's bought his second M20 and it's had the same problem.

[00:37:40] I think it's...

[00:37:41] Oh, I saw that post with the back.

[00:37:42] I think it's time for a recall.

[00:37:43] I love the...

[00:37:44] No, because that...

[00:37:45] Read the whole post because it starts off with Love Yeti stuff and I'll always buy their

[00:37:48] products.

[00:37:49] But I'm upset about that.

[00:37:50] I know when you're like the bag that's like too inflated or something.

[00:37:53] And then there's a bunch of guys angry being like, that's not a defect.

[00:37:57] You gotta heat the bag up in the oven to fix it.

[00:38:01] It's like...

[00:38:02] You just don't know the tricks.

[00:38:04] Who's people?

[00:38:07] Yeah, there's one defect.

[00:38:12] It has been to my husband as well.

[00:38:14] There was just one...

[00:38:15] There was one guy on there.

[00:38:16] I saw...

[00:38:17] I just glanced at it briefly.

[00:38:18] It was like my car exploded.

[00:38:21] My car blew up.

[00:38:22] But the Yeti cooler and he pours out and there's still ice in there.

[00:38:25] And they're all like, wow.

[00:38:26] And it's like, bro, you almost died.

[00:38:29] You fucking...

[00:38:30] Well, time to post on the Yeti subreddit about how great my cooler is after my truck fucking

[00:38:35] exploded before it spontaneously combusted and almost burned to death.

[00:38:40] The firemaner in the background working.

[00:38:42] Oh yeah, guys, truck exploded.

[00:38:44] But it's yet still not.

[00:38:49] Oh god, the fire department's there.

[00:38:55] The fire department is literally there by the hose.

[00:38:59] They're putting his fire out.

[00:39:01] He's making a video.

[00:39:03] Yeah.

[00:39:04] Somebody should post on their...

[00:39:05] If you're a photographer, you figure out how to do it.

[00:39:06] You've got my Yeti cup, right?

[00:39:08] And then it's the Yeti cups in focus and in the back just out of focus, it's his son

[00:39:12] hanging from a rafter dead.

[00:39:14] He's killed himself.

[00:39:16] My entire family's killed themselves.

[00:39:19] Check out my new 46 ounce Rambler I got.

[00:39:25] Just another beautiful day on the Yeti subreddit.

[00:39:27] Oh my god.

[00:39:29] Wait, what does this mean?

[00:39:31] When the wife moves in and you got to make room in the kitchen and it's like a fucking

[00:39:35] plastic storage bin with 80 Yeti cups in it.

[00:39:38] But what does it mean that his wife has moved in?

[00:39:41] It means that there's no life.

[00:39:42] That his wife was living elsewhere?

[00:39:44] It doesn't mean that he's being because there's no wife.

[00:39:47] It's a lie.

[00:39:48] He just put all...

[00:39:49] He got evicted from his efficiency apartment and he's moving back into his mom's house.

[00:39:54] And so he needed to put the Yeti coolers into a fucking rubber maid.

[00:39:57] And you know how upset he is that he didn't have a Yeti cooler to put those cups in?

[00:40:01] I actually zoom in on that.

[00:40:02] See if it's a Yeti cooler filled with Yeti cups.

[00:40:05] No, it looks like a rubber maid storage bin.

[00:40:09] You know this fucking guy's packing that thing up and he's just thinking, what time does

[00:40:13] Dick's sporting good clothes?

[00:40:16] If I could measure these Yeti cups, I could go there now and I could get a Yeti cooler

[00:40:20] to put all my cups in.

[00:40:26] What is the color at the blue end of the can opener box is resting on?

[00:40:31] It's a very bottom corner of the one kind of hitting near the top.

[00:40:34] No, it's essentially two rows of the right.

[00:40:37] This guy's just trying to find a special color.

[00:40:39] This is just like this is what happens.

[00:40:43] These are just people with beanie baby brain.

[00:40:46] It's fucking it's an entire generation.

[00:40:48] All the same shit that caused furries because furries didn't exist.

[00:40:51] But I kind of feel like they think that Yeti is tactical.

[00:40:55] I don't think it's a tactical thing.

[00:40:56] I think it's mostly hinges on the hidden color aspect.

[00:40:59] Get collectible.

[00:41:00] Get those tools out and build a shelf in the man cave.

[00:41:03] And then the OPs says that's definitely part of the future plan.

[00:41:07] That's part of the plan.

[00:41:09] Step one, get a job.

[00:41:12] Step one is have any literally anything else in your life, others in cups.

[00:41:17] Collectible cups.

[00:41:19] Jesus Christ man, these guys.

[00:41:25] I really do love the water bottle.

[00:41:29] I'm not talking shit about the company.

[00:41:32] Yeah.

[00:41:32] I'm talking shit about these.

[00:41:33] What are we trying to snatch a sponsorship?

[00:41:36] Oh my god.

[00:41:36] I mean, they are good.

[00:41:38] They're good.

[00:41:39] It's a good, yeah, I don't know.

[00:41:40] I have nothing to compare it to.

[00:41:41] I love it.

[00:41:42] I just wanted to do something nice.

[00:41:44] This guy's taking a picture of his highlands olive collection

[00:41:48] next to his electric bike.

[00:41:52] Yeah, my highlands olive collection.

[00:41:55] These guys are always in the garage.

[00:41:57] There's always a garage in some prefab house

[00:41:59] and a development in the middle of a fucking Arizona.

[00:42:01] Right, but with these kind of floors, right?

[00:42:03] The kind that you don't drive on.

[00:42:04] Yeah, like epoxy cement floors.

[00:42:07] Yeah, so you park outside?

[00:42:09] Yeah.

[00:42:10] Yeah, my friend's dad used to have floors like that.

[00:42:12] We used to get drunk in that garage and then he got mad at us.

[00:42:16] You're going to hook up my floors.

[00:42:17] That's so cool, dude.

[00:42:20] When you go to work dressed like a Yeti water bottle.

[00:42:25] Oh, that's the teacher?

[00:42:26] Yeah, she's fat as shit, dude.

[00:42:30] Yeah.

[00:42:32] I saw that post.

[00:42:32] That one made me laugh.

[00:42:35] She put the emoji over her face.

[00:42:39] So no one discovers her.

[00:42:40] I guess I could smart of her, honestly.

[00:42:42] You take a picture of her fat body.

[00:42:44] Game recognized game.

[00:42:52] Yeah, curves finally refunded my three years of gym membership

[00:42:55] after they went out of business.

[00:42:56] And I treated myself to a Yeti cool Yeti tumbler.

[00:43:01] Dude, this is so sad.

[00:43:03] I can't stop looking for some reason.

[00:43:05] Yeah.

[00:43:07] Yeah, I got real into it.

[00:43:09] I said, oh, this guy's got a bull.

[00:43:11] He's got like a fake bull head that he could put on his cooler.

[00:43:14] So he practiced roping on it.

[00:43:16] Yeah.

[00:43:17] Yeah, I feel like their branding is

[00:43:19] that it's not for pussies.

[00:43:21] Is it?

[00:43:21] And it's like for people that like van life and stuff,

[00:43:26] in glamping, that's kind of their brand.

[00:43:30] And that's why these fucking dipshits.

[00:43:33] Get them.

[00:43:34] Yeah, these fucking pieces of shit.

[00:43:37] Girlfriend hooked me up for our anniversary.

[00:43:38] He got a Yeti hoodie from his girlfriend.

[00:43:42] Yeah, that's how Las Vegas Raiders hoodie.

[00:43:47] That's in.

[00:43:48] Dude, we just won our second game this weekend.

[00:43:52] Let's go.

[00:43:53] Yeah, I've been wearing that Raiders hoodie for like a week

[00:43:56] and a half straight.

[00:43:56] Do people want to talk about it all the time?

[00:43:58] It's funny because I'll go do shows.

[00:43:59] And like people try and mock me afterwards about not changing

[00:44:01] my clothes or whatever.

[00:44:02] And it's like, yeah, I don't have to.

[00:44:04] I don't have a boss, dude.

[00:44:06] I've been brushed my teeth in fucking two weeks.

[00:44:09] And you have to talk to me while I still

[00:44:11] hear us smelling like shit.

[00:44:12] Yeah, you just paid money to watch me.

[00:44:15] I'm wearing literally seven different types of vegan salsa

[00:44:19] on my clothes.

[00:44:21] And nobody can tell me.

[00:44:23] Nobody can fire me.

[00:44:23] Yeah, you're a dumb bitch.

[00:44:26] That's great, dude.

[00:44:26] I'm happy your shows are good.

[00:44:28] Dude, it was so fun.

[00:44:29] If you came out, thank you.

[00:44:31] Even if you didn't, thank you, Minneapolis.

[00:44:34] You love it there.

[00:44:35] Dude, it's such a charming, nice place.

[00:44:38] It was great.

[00:44:39] It's such a great time.

[00:44:40] Yeah, it's very pretty, too.

[00:44:42] Just walking around.

[00:44:43] I mean, I was standing like bullshit downtown.

[00:44:45] And I guess it's like you really get a sense of perspective

[00:44:47] when you go to like other, like, you know,

[00:44:49] spend the weekend in Minneapolis or not

[00:44:51] many have Indianapolis.

[00:44:52] Yeah.

[00:44:53] And that's like.

[00:44:54] Cleveland's sad.

[00:44:55] Yeah.

[00:44:56] Cleveland is like, but the comedy club

[00:44:58] is right by that one street where they're

[00:44:59] trying to make it happen.

[00:45:00] After Buffalo and Nashville and fucking,

[00:45:04] to the extent that I was in Houston, Texas, of all places.

[00:45:08] Yeah.

[00:45:08] Walking around being like, no.

[00:45:10] Houston's all right.

[00:45:11] Really?

[00:45:12] You know how low you have to go downtown, Houston?

[00:45:14] I don't know.

[00:45:15] I guess they do have a downtown.

[00:45:17] They do have a downtown.

[00:45:18] It's like LA.

[00:45:18] It's just small.

[00:45:19] You can't walk.

[00:45:20] Yeah.

[00:45:22] Cool cars in Houston, though.

[00:45:25] Well, like, like lifted shit.

[00:45:28] Lifted suspension shit.

[00:45:30] I saw Ferrari.

[00:45:31] 348.

[00:45:31] That was cool.

[00:45:32] Oh, that's cool.

[00:45:33] Yeah.

[00:45:34] I get that.

[00:45:34] Are you going to get an exotic vehicle one day?

[00:45:36] Shall we become a Ferrari guy?

[00:45:38] Hell yes.

[00:45:39] No.

[00:45:40] And you should wear all Ferrari clothes.

[00:45:42] I'm going to get a cigarette boat.

[00:45:43] That's going to be a move.

[00:45:44] That's so sick.

[00:45:45] Yeah.

[00:45:46] I'm going to get a million dollar racing boat.

[00:45:48] You got to do the move that he does in what do you call it?

[00:45:53] In the?

[00:45:53] Honestly, the best vehicle.

[00:45:54] The Colin Farrell move.

[00:45:55] The best vehicle is fan boat.

[00:45:58] Yeah.

[00:45:58] That moved down to the Everglades.

[00:45:59] I got a fan boat.

[00:46:00] It'd be so sick.

[00:46:02] I'm like, hey, see you later, alligator.

[00:46:04] Ah.

[00:46:06] I'm just being chased by alligators.

[00:46:09] Yeah, I'd like to wear my radar.

[00:46:11] I'd like to wear my radar.

[00:46:13] With nine Yeti cups on the dash of the speedboat.

[00:46:16] He's live streaming directly to the Yeti subreddit.

[00:46:21] See you later, alligators.

[00:46:24] They're like, wow, Mr. Minneapolis

[00:46:26] is the coolest guy on the Yeti subreddit.

[00:46:28] He's drunk.

[00:46:29] He has no one in his life.

[00:46:30] And he's got every hidden color and a fan boat.

[00:46:33] I'd like someone to make a long post on the Yeti subreddit

[00:46:37] about how you were ready to kill yourself.

[00:46:39] But your Yeti convinced you not to.

[00:46:42] But something arrived in the mail.

[00:46:46] And it made you realize life was worth living.

[00:46:51] Well, dude, yeah, no, you got to get it.

[00:46:56] We got to move to Miami.

[00:46:57] You got to get one of those cigarette boats.

[00:46:59] And then we got to pull the move where you go down

[00:47:02] to Havana for the perfect mojito.

[00:47:05] I was up until like 3 AM last night.

[00:47:07] Just reading about Al Capone on my phone.

[00:47:09] He moved down there.

[00:47:10] Yeah, he had a nice house in Miami.

[00:47:12] I know.

[00:47:12] Someone just bought it.

[00:47:13] You know his net worth was like the modern day of queen.

[00:47:15] He was like a billionaire.

[00:47:16] Yeah.

[00:47:17] Yeah.

[00:47:18] You know who got a post office.

[00:47:21] I also had no idea that Al Capone was like a big guy.

[00:47:24] He was fat.

[00:47:25] Yeah, he was fat.

[00:47:26] But I thought he was like Danny DeVito.

[00:47:27] I thought he was a.

[00:47:28] You thought it was short.

[00:47:29] I thought he was like a little like a little blueberry.

[00:47:30] How big was he?

[00:47:31] He was like, you know, I mean, he was like 5'11 or something.

[00:47:34] It was huge.

[00:47:34] You look at pictures of him with other guys.

[00:47:36] And he's like a massive guy.

[00:47:37] Well, not massive, but he's like a big guy.

[00:47:38] Like Italian guy.

[00:47:40] I think so, yeah.

[00:47:40] Yeah.

[00:47:42] Yeah, no, he's sick.

[00:47:44] How did he make his money?

[00:47:45] Racketeering?

[00:47:47] Bootlegging.

[00:47:48] Bootlegging.

[00:47:49] Yeah.

[00:47:49] Yeah.

[00:47:50] Yeah.

[00:47:50] The Chicago guys made more money than New York guys,

[00:47:52] because a little liquor came into Canada.

[00:47:55] So they distributed the rest of the country?

[00:47:58] I think so.

[00:47:58] Yeah.

[00:47:59] Yeah.

[00:47:59] They would drive them over the lakes,

[00:48:02] or the roads like frozen lakes and rivers.

[00:48:04] And like special cars to bring a drive on the lakes.

[00:48:08] That's so sick.

[00:48:09] Yeah.

[00:48:10] That's so cool.

[00:48:13] Their cars were probably fucking heavy back then.

[00:48:17] Yeah, probably I had no idea.

[00:48:19] I don't know.

[00:48:19] Yeah.

[00:48:20] That's what I would imagine.

[00:48:21] Yeah.

[00:48:22] Yeah, it was cool also how they used

[00:48:24] to hang on the side of the cars after like a Tommy gun.

[00:48:28] Yeah, with the gun.

[00:48:29] That's a sick move.

[00:48:31] Yeah.

[00:48:31] How about a mommy gun?

[00:48:32] Yeah.

[00:48:33] I don't know what it does.

[00:48:35] I got nothing on that one.

[00:48:36] Sorry.

[00:48:38] You live with it, and you call her Miss Thing?

[00:48:40] Somebody sent me a tweet with a video off TikTok.

[00:48:44] Somebody tweeted, they're like, I need a retarded mommy,

[00:48:46] girlfriend.

[00:48:47] And women do these things now where

[00:48:48] they post on TikTok where it's like just my day.

[00:48:53] And it's like what they do during the day.

[00:48:54] Yeah, yeah.

[00:48:55] And it's just this lady.

[00:48:56] And they do nothing.

[00:48:58] Yeah, I've seen those.

[00:48:59] Yeah.

[00:49:00] Yeah.

[00:49:00] She's like, I make breakfast.

[00:49:01] And then I did an art project with my friends.

[00:49:04] Not even art projects, dude.

[00:49:05] Yeah.

[00:49:06] Just like I made breakfast.

[00:49:07] And then I walked into the other room.

[00:49:10] One of the things she says, she goes, I put my shoes on.

[00:49:13] Just a video for putting shoes on.

[00:49:15] Look at Todd.

[00:49:16] Where?

[00:49:20] I put my shoes on.

[00:49:24] That's so funny.

[00:49:26] Dude, yeah, they're so stupid.

[00:49:28] I've seen those before.

[00:49:29] Like there's a video like my day as an art,

[00:49:33] or as a fashion student in New York City,

[00:49:36] and people are just like the concacity of this video.

[00:49:39] Yeah.

[00:49:40] But it seemed like she was having a great time.

[00:49:41] It's not even concacity.

[00:49:43] It's just like the product of Lexapro.

[00:49:45] Yeah.

[00:49:46] Yeah.

[00:49:46] Yeah, you're so numbed from your anti-depress.

[00:49:48] Yeah.

[00:49:48] What happens is modern women they get broken up with by,

[00:49:52] you know, like a vine star, right?

[00:49:55] Yeah.

[00:49:55] A guy with a floppy front haircut.

[00:49:57] Right.

[00:49:58] Yeah.

[00:49:58] Some guy.

[00:49:58] Yeah, reverse mullet.

[00:49:59] Yeah.

[00:49:59] Some guy with perfect skin and weird posture and tall socks.

[00:50:03] Yeah.

[00:50:04] And pristine sneakers.

[00:50:05] Yeah, wearing a tight pearl necklace.

[00:50:07] Yeah.

[00:50:08] He breaks up.

[00:50:08] Why do men wear those?

[00:50:09] And then they go to therapy one time.

[00:50:11] They're like, yeah, you have borderline personality disorder.

[00:50:13] And they're like,

[00:50:14] pump you full of fucking SSRIs.

[00:50:15] And we need to permanently change your brain chemistry.

[00:50:19] And turn you into a content zombie.

[00:50:21] And then they think.

[00:50:22] A step-furred way.

[00:50:23] Basically, yeah.

[00:50:24] A step-furred internet girlfriend.

[00:50:26] It really is a tragedy.

[00:50:27] They're good people.

[00:50:28] It's shocking of all the things that, you know,

[00:50:32] whatever feminism is, that they address the pathologizing of,

[00:50:37] of, you know.

[00:50:39] If you break up with me, I'll kill myself.

[00:50:41] Yeah.

[00:50:41] I mean, you know, don't kill yourself, obviously.

[00:50:44] You know, you want to say that once or twice.

[00:50:45] Go for it.

[00:50:46] Yeah, go for it.

[00:50:47] You know, but yeah.

[00:50:48] Now they just pump them fully drugs now.

[00:50:50] She seems tight.

[00:50:52] Yeah.

[00:50:53] What's her Instagram?

[00:50:55] I don't know.

[00:50:55] Can I look at pictures?

[00:50:56] Kendall or something?

[00:50:58] Kendall.

[00:50:59] Kendall Mackenzie.

[00:51:01] Madison Square Garden.

[00:51:03] I love her.

[00:51:04] Yeah.

[00:51:04] That was an early bit.

[00:51:05] Yeah.

[00:51:06] That was a walk in the city.

[00:51:07] My name is Madison Square Garden.

[00:51:09] I like black guys.

[00:51:10] And this is my friend Chelsea Piers.

[00:51:12] Madison Square Garden and Chelsea Piers are the wasps.

[00:51:15] They're not the black guy one.

[00:51:16] They're Jewish friend, the Hoyt Skirmerhorn.

[00:51:19] She's the one that's like, I like black guys.

[00:51:21] Yeah.

[00:51:21] Yeah.

[00:51:23] Oh, yeah.

[00:51:23] She's dating a guy named Jay Street Metro Tech.

[00:51:26] Yeah.

[00:51:26] Yeah.

[00:51:27] Yeah.

[00:51:28] Yeah.

[00:51:29] Yeah.

[00:51:30] My name Metro Tech.

[00:51:31] Yeah.

[00:51:32] You doing my name is Jay Street Metro Tech.

[00:51:38] My name's Hoyt Skirmerhorn.

[00:51:39] This is my black boyfriend, Jay Street Metro Tech.

[00:51:44] Me and my my wasps friends, Chelsea Piers and Madison Square Garden.

[00:51:47] Oh, yeah.

[00:51:48] What's his name?

[00:51:49] Asian friend.

[00:51:50] Oh, damn.

[00:51:51] Parks look.

[00:51:52] Parks look.

[00:51:53] Yeah.

[00:51:54] Oh, my God.

[00:51:55] What a great bit to just sort of materialize.

[00:51:57] It all came together on its own.

[00:51:59] We were just walking on the beach.

[00:52:00] The beauty of the big apple.

[00:52:01] Yeah.

[00:52:02] It's a great city.

[00:52:03] Yeah.

[00:52:04] I love this city.

[00:52:05] You know, I say that about how much.

[00:52:06] It's a really beautiful day.

[00:52:07] I was in Minneapolis and I talked to people about how nice it is.

[00:52:09] And they're like, you should move here.

[00:52:11] And it's like, well, hold on pal.

[00:52:12] Yeah.

[00:52:13] Shut the fuck up.

[00:52:14] Yeah.

[00:52:15] Shut the fuck up.

[00:52:16] Yeah.

[00:52:17] Yeah.

[00:52:18] Yeah.

[00:52:19] Move here so some guy can fucking put his knee on my neck.

[00:52:20] Yeah, right.

[00:52:21] Yeah.

[00:52:22] Mm-hmm.

[00:52:23] So I'm got one guy tried to come to the show with like a tactical back piece wearing like

[00:52:27] a high vis-vis and he brought like a tactical backpack just filled with shit.

[00:52:31] And they're like, you can't bring that backpack.

[00:52:34] What are they having?

[00:52:35] I have no idea.

[00:52:36] Come to kill you.

[00:52:37] Yeah.

[00:52:38] I don't know.

[00:52:39] I talked him for a while.

[00:52:40] He seemed like a nice guy.

[00:52:41] But apparently he showed the host of the shows a bunch of crime scene photos he just had

[00:52:44] on his phone.

[00:52:45] Why?

[00:52:46] Like not from Google.

[00:52:48] Like he just had them saved on his phone.

[00:52:50] Just crime scene photos.

[00:52:51] Is he a police officer?

[00:52:52] I have no idea.

[00:52:54] But I'm glad that it's conversation ended with a handshake and a smile.

[00:52:59] Yeah.

[00:53:00] And not the, you know, how can it-

[00:53:01] And it was Shafi'd?

[00:53:03] Not bang bang.

[00:53:04] Yeah.

[00:53:05] Was it was Derek?

[00:53:06] Yeah.

[00:53:07] But that's probably the most frightening person that's come out.

[00:53:09] Really?

[00:53:10] Yeah.

[00:53:11] What's going on with the hat?

[00:53:14] You're chewing your hat.

[00:53:15] Oh, not chewing my hat.

[00:53:16] There was just a thread.

[00:53:18] No.

[00:53:19] That was the scariest guy you've had.

[00:53:21] Yeah, I think so.

[00:53:22] And even that, but as I said, pleasant conversation.

[00:53:24] Nice guys.

[00:53:25] Everyone's nice at shows, honestly.

[00:53:26] Yeah.

[00:53:27] No, in real life.

[00:53:28] Well, the internet is-

[00:53:29] They're always like, yeah, don't check my DMs.

[00:53:31] Yeah.

[00:53:32] They're like, I've said you a lot.

[00:53:35] They're pretty disgusting.

[00:53:36] Yeah.

[00:53:37] Yeah.

[00:53:38] No, the internet is-

[00:53:39] I think you're actually pretty fucking nice guy.

[00:53:40] The internet is funny.

[00:53:41] I remember being a kid and I remember my grandpa being like, I don't know about this internet

[00:53:44] thing.

[00:53:45] And the absurdity of that to me, so I was like, how, like of course you'd say that you

[00:53:48] old piece of shit.

[00:53:50] And he was right.

[00:53:51] Yeah.

[00:53:52] Yeah.

[00:53:53] It's, first of all, it's fully owned by people.

[00:53:56] Now, yeah.

[00:53:57] That's the other thing too, is I'm thinking about like what the internet was, which was

[00:54:00] also probably, for lack of a better word, toxic, you know, 20 years ago.

[00:54:04] I mean, of course it was, but at least it wasn't just owned by companies that are in

[00:54:08] bed with the White House decided, you know, who gets to say what about the-

[00:54:12] Well, Elon's gonna let Trump cook again.

[00:54:14] Oh, is he?

[00:54:15] Yeah, so he said that's the first thing he's gonna do.

[00:54:17] Is he buying to that?

[00:54:18] How'd that work?

[00:54:19] He's actually gonna do it, I think.

[00:54:20] Oh, okay.

[00:54:21] He's gonna let my boy back on.

[00:54:22] Mm-hmm.

[00:54:23] That's gonna be fun again for a week.

[00:54:25] You should just buy it and shut it down, dude.

[00:54:27] That would be so sick.

[00:54:29] Somebody should do it.

[00:54:30] If I had the resources-

[00:54:31] But I think he's, I think Tesla's tanking right now.

[00:54:33] Yeah.

[00:54:34] I think he did like a stock split so he could afford to-

[00:54:38] That would be my gift to humanity is buying all the social media websites and just fucking

[00:54:42] sending them down the tubes.

[00:54:44] And then starting a new one.

[00:54:46] It's called, show me a pussy, Doc.

[00:54:48] I think it's called show me your asshole.

[00:54:50] Show me your pussy.

[00:54:51] Show me your pussy was better.

[00:54:52] That was good.

[00:54:53] I shouldn't have tried that bump.

[00:54:55] That's fine, dude.

[00:54:57] I was trying to yes-an.

[00:54:58] Sometimes you go to yes-an and you just make a shittier version.

[00:55:01] Listen, dude.

[00:55:02] We're not from the world of improv.

[00:55:03] Yeah.

[00:55:04] Those guys are killers.

[00:55:06] They are.

[00:55:07] They're quite literally, they've killed women.

[00:55:09] Yeah.

[00:55:10] I'm glad improv is just dead.

[00:55:11] It's just-

[00:55:12] Wait, the UCB went under.

[00:55:13] That shit is all gone.

[00:55:15] I was watching-

[00:55:16] The improv doesn't exist.

[00:55:17] I was watching old-

[00:55:18] Improv didn't survive COVID.

[00:55:19] They didn't.

[00:55:20] It's really cool.

[00:55:21] I was watching old-

[00:55:22] I think it was Chris Gethard stuff.

[00:55:25] You have it on you.

[00:55:27] You have the vape.

[00:55:29] It's wild how just dated all that shit seems now.

[00:55:32] All that fucking WNYC branded comedy.

[00:55:35] Oh, they had that public access show.

[00:55:40] I've seen clips from that.

[00:55:42] Not the show itself.

[00:55:43] I guess mostly just Chris Gethard stuff.

[00:55:45] Oh, his stand up.

[00:55:46] But his stand up is storytelling.

[00:55:47] What's his stand up is storytelling.

[00:55:48] I forget what I watched.

[00:55:49] Just videos of-

[00:55:50] Yeah.

[00:55:51] What's that guy up to?

[00:55:52] I don't know.

[00:55:53] Probably doing the same thing.

[00:55:54] Probably doing this.

[00:55:55] He's probably doing exactly-

[00:55:56] Look, I say all this like, yeah, that shit's dated.

[00:55:58] You want to know it like I said before, how bad this is going to look in fucking 10 years?

[00:56:02] Well, this is the last one.

[00:56:03] Yeah.

[00:56:04] We just got to make sure we don't fuck up the bag.

[00:56:06] So you know, life can be okay.

[00:56:09] Let's keep an eye on the prize.

[00:56:11] Yeah, yeah.

[00:56:12] You got to get the bag right because like, look mid 30s, you're already fucking pushing

[00:56:15] it.

[00:56:16] Should we give them an update?

[00:56:17] Here's the update, folks.

[00:56:19] Tomorrow's camera test.

[00:56:21] Yeah, we rented this space in August and it's now-

[00:56:26] It's October.

[00:56:27] Almost 2023.

[00:56:29] But, and you know, it's funny to build up too because like, look, this set does look great.

[00:56:32] I'm excited about it.

[00:56:34] But it's been so much of a build up.

[00:56:35] At this point, we would have to be doing, it would have to be independent stay to make

[00:56:39] it seem worth it.

[00:56:40] We'd have to blow up the White House.

[00:56:42] Yeah.

[00:56:43] Yeah, this is literally, it's all right.

[00:56:46] Yeah.

[00:56:47] It's cool.

[00:56:48] It's a little bit different than the camera.

[00:56:49] It's exactly what I imagine with the exception of the carpet for whatever reason we can't

[00:56:52] get the right kind of carpet.

[00:56:54] We've ordered three.

[00:56:55] But the carpet is modular.

[00:56:56] So we'll just do this.

[00:56:58] And honestly, shooting it, the yellow doesn't look as bad as I thought.

[00:57:01] It doesn't look bad.

[00:57:02] But we'll see how it looks under the lights.

[00:57:04] Yeah.

[00:57:05] It's because when you shoot, when you take a picture with an iPhone, the iPhone already

[00:57:07] does all that like the color science or whatever.

[00:57:11] So I think this will be fun.

[00:57:13] Yeah.

[00:57:14] We'll have to see how you interact with the light grid.

[00:57:19] But I think it will look really good.

[00:57:20] But are we going to put sea stands over there with more lights?

[00:57:26] I want to put a spotlight in that back corner for when people come out.

[00:57:29] That'd be so sick.

[00:57:31] Yeah, because it's powerful.

[00:57:32] We've got to get one of the most powerful ones you can get on the floor.

[00:57:34] Because you're going to come out this way, you'll do the monologue there.

[00:57:36] And I want to hit the spotlight for that.

[00:57:39] That's right.

[00:57:40] And then that's going to have to be, because you know, it needs to be moved.

[00:57:42] So that can't go up on the ceiling.

[00:57:44] So are we going to have some of this like operating the lights?

[00:57:46] I'll do that.

[00:57:47] You'll do a live from the stage?

[00:57:49] Because I don't need to be out here for the monologue.

[00:57:51] No, no.

[00:57:52] That's right.

[00:57:53] That's right.

[00:57:54] That's the spotlight you only need for guests coming out.

[00:57:55] Okay, so you'll do that.

[00:57:56] I'll run around and run all three cameras in the spotlight.

[00:57:57] And I'll have my own mic.

[00:57:59] Like your god mic?

[00:58:01] Yeah.

[00:58:02] Yeah.

[00:58:03] Get ready for the god mic.

[00:58:05] My gay god mic.

[00:58:06] Your gay god mic.

[00:58:07] Is that your penis?

[00:58:11] Let there be penis.

[00:58:12] Let there be penis.

[00:58:14] A nightclub called S.

[00:58:17] Yeah.

[00:58:18] So you were inside this club?

[00:58:21] Yeah.

[00:58:22] Just a gay guy trying to give an Uber driver directions and he doesn't know the S stands

[00:58:25] for South Street.

[00:58:26] He's like, we're on second avenues.

[00:58:29] We're staying.

[00:58:30] Our hotel is on second avenues.

[00:58:33] Yes.

[00:58:34] We're looking for a place called.

[00:58:36] We're going to San, we're going to Francisco.

[00:58:39] Yeah.

[00:58:40] F.

[00:58:41] I love F.

[00:58:42] Yeah.

[00:58:43] I grew up in Carolina.

[00:58:46] Yeah.

[00:58:48] South Carolina, throw your hands up.

[00:58:51] That's North, bro.

[00:58:53] South Carolina, throw your hands up.

[00:58:54] Do you think it piss off North Carolina people?

[00:58:56] South Carolina people try to make that there so long.

[00:58:59] Yeah, probably.

[00:59:00] Probably piss them off, dude.

[00:59:01] Let's do it ourselves.

[00:59:02] Yeah.

[00:59:03] Let's take that away from them.

[00:59:05] You didn't like North Carolina?

[00:59:06] I thought you liked it there, too.

[00:59:08] No, it's bad.

[00:59:09] I mean, it's not bad.

[00:59:10] It's just kind of boring.

[00:59:11] We got to go.

[00:59:13] We got to go.

[00:59:14] Raleigh's nice.

[00:59:15] Raleigh's fine.

[00:59:16] Raleigh is just a fine, okay place.

[00:59:18] I'll tell you where we got to go, brother.

[00:59:21] And I say I'm a tough one.

[00:59:22] And I'm saying all this in retrospect now after having a nice time in Minneapolis.

[00:59:27] We got to build up this video.

[00:59:28] Phoenix was a rough weekend.

[00:59:30] That was two weekends ago.

[00:59:31] That was a rough weekend.

[00:59:32] You didn't like it there.

[00:59:34] It's just I was worn out and then, you know, I couldn't even do that.

[00:59:37] No, the first show was fine.

[00:59:38] A really show Friday was fine, but then the rest of the weekend, it's like I couldn't

[00:59:41] even do the fucking job.

[00:59:42] Oh, yeah, you couldn't speak.

[00:59:43] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:59:46] We got to spend $200,000 on the studio.

[00:59:49] We already did that.

[00:59:50] And then decide when it gets a little bit too cold that we have to winter in Miami.

[00:59:55] Yeah.

[00:59:56] And then spend three months down on South Carolina.

[00:59:58] I'm about splintering in Miami and you get a rat furry costume you got out there.

[01:00:02] Yeah.

[01:00:03] I got back in the furries recently, too.

[01:00:04] Oh, you did.

[01:00:05] Yeah.

[01:00:06] Into the furry because it's not enough to just be a dog costume now.

[01:00:09] There's a lot of them to do the vore stuff.

[01:00:12] So the suits have like built in like giant water bladders so they can pretend to be like

[01:00:17] fat and filled with water.

[01:00:18] And then they have other furries come over that shake the belly while they like, you

[01:00:24] know, they pretend to be helpless with like they do like a turtle that's stuck.

[01:00:30] Then they post the video online and they get like more engagement than I get even.

[01:00:34] Yeah, they get like a hundred thousand.

[01:00:36] Yeah.

[01:00:37] Yeah.

[01:00:38] Yeah.

[01:00:39] That's the other thing too.

[01:00:40] Twitter scares me now.

[01:00:41] You all have Kylo post stuff and it just bombs.

[01:00:43] I just bomb constantly.

[01:00:44] I'm gonna video so to be a Twitter not videos, but even like just I don't know how to tweet

[01:00:49] or promo doesn't do nothing.

[01:00:51] I say it's funny.

[01:00:52] I'll say to all have her and then because that people are like fucking, you know, just

[01:00:57] jokes.

[01:00:58] Yeah, they it's not funny.

[01:00:59] We were a shadow band and then and then now but yeah, now Twitter is all run by by young

[01:01:04] women.

[01:01:05] Yeah.

[01:01:06] Yeah, it's all they're like hot hot girls go to the dentist.

[01:01:12] Hot girls forget the shampoo or the, I don't know.

[01:01:15] It's a hundred thousand.

[01:01:16] I mean, I got no idea, dude.

[01:01:18] I'm lost in the woods.

[01:01:20] Yeah.

[01:01:21] You know you're a girl with a dentist.

[01:01:23] The world pass.

[01:01:24] What's your own?

[01:01:25] You're not the stories about those guys.

[01:01:26] You brought it up.

[01:01:27] The guys who didn't know the Vietnam War ended or World War II ended.

[01:01:30] They just ended up just in the jungle.

[01:01:31] The Japanese guys.

[01:01:32] Yeah.

[01:01:33] That's everybody.

[01:01:34] That is what life is.

[01:01:37] Yeah.

[01:01:38] That you just, you don't know like nobody just in for the Philippines.

[01:01:42] You're sitting in a tree killing Filipinos.

[01:01:44] You arrive in adulthood in some kind of conflict that you have to resolve and it never really

[01:01:49] resolves itself and you have no idea and you just sit up there in that tree and then somebody's

[01:01:53] like, bro, you're thirty five years old.

[01:01:56] You're like, yeah, but I got to get more retweets.

[01:02:00] I saw not that being retweeted yet.

[01:02:04] That guy that was in the Philippines like killed like 400, that Japanese guy who's like

[01:02:10] just in a tree.

[01:02:11] He killed like 400 people.

[01:02:15] They were just, they kept trying to be like Captain Yacht, the war is over.

[01:02:20] Yeah.

[01:02:21] Clap an ease.

[01:02:22] Yeah.

[01:02:23] The clap an ease.

[01:02:24] All right.

[01:02:25] I got to go do the show.

[01:02:26] Oh, okay.

[01:02:27] All right.

[01:02:28] Well, thanks for joining us.

[01:02:29] Thanks for joining us.

[01:02:30] Governor's next weekend.

[01:02:31] I'll come with Nick.

[01:02:32] All right.

[01:02:33] Cool.

[01:02:33] Adam will be there.

[01:02:34] Yeah, well, fine.

[01:02:35] All right, buddy.

[01:02:36] Are you going to do Magoobies, too?

[01:02:37] Is it the next weekend?

[01:02:38] Yeah.

[01:02:39] I really don't want to go to Baltimore.

[01:02:40] I'll drive down there immediately.

[01:02:42] Maybe.

[01:02:43] Actually, I might not be able to go that weekend.

[01:02:45] I'll let you know.

[01:02:46] I'll figure it out.

[01:02:47] No, actually, I think it's that weekend or the next weekend, but I think it might be that

[01:02:51] weekend.

[01:02:52] Okay.

[01:02:53] Okay.

[01:02:54] All right.

[01:02:55] Bye.

[01:02:56] Bye.

[01:02:57] Thank you so much.