TAFS | Regular | 11/10/2022
[00:00:30] Good evening, everyone, or afternoon, I should say, a day early too, because I'm just going
[00:00:52] to upload this now so I don't have to deal with it tomorrow.
[00:00:54] Are you going to put the video up on YouTube?
[00:00:58] If I can get the card out of the camera in time.
[00:01:03] Well, yeah, I mean, I got to go catch a flight.
[00:01:05] Nick and I both have flights this evening out of town.
[00:01:09] So this is something a little bit like, this is like behind the scenes.
[00:01:13] The audience can tell we're not wearing our traditional Armani suits.
[00:01:16] I don't know if it's behind the scenes or not.
[00:01:26] So we're going to do a couple of things right off the top.
[00:01:34] Yeah, for this episode, we're going to be going one camera angle.
[00:01:38] One camera angle until we need to hire a bunch of people.
[00:01:43] Yeah, we are talking to a bunch of people right now that we're about to hire.
[00:01:46] We're talking to one guy we got that fixes one problem.
[00:01:51] But there's no way this show is going to happen.
[00:01:58] Listen, folks, you've been our friends for some time.
[00:02:00] If you know a guy, if anyone knows a guy that knows how to make a TV show, send him our
[00:02:11] Please, not somebody that starts a story with, I was in a brain hospital for six months.
[00:02:17] Yeah, I was in a brain hospital and I've been waiting for this moment for the last couple
[00:02:25] You know what we need is a guy that hates us and thinks that shows he doesn't like it.
[00:02:32] We need somebody that's just good at their job.
[00:02:34] Yeah, like an old guy that doesn't laugh at a single thing we say.
[00:02:42] Look, folks, someone that when he gets pissed at us will have us molested.
[00:02:51] But look, like every disaster, the tornado comes through, destroys the town, kills many,
[00:02:59] you know, impoverished white trash people.
[00:03:04] Because all they have, this show is a lot like a double white trailer, basically.
[00:03:09] It's a thing for, it's a place to put just trash people.
[00:03:14] I think you're painting a little bit more dire.
[00:03:29] So let's just see how far the rabbits pussy goes.
[00:03:36] No, folks, we are, look, there was a, and this is obviously sincere, there was a decision
[00:03:43] We could continue kicking the can down the road forever.
[00:03:51] It doesn't matter that, it doesn't matter that we have nothing prepared.
[00:04:07] There's a million people that are all experts at lighting and they all have a different
[00:04:12] And I'm too autistic to be around that.
[00:04:15] And I become away from the technical people.
[00:04:18] We really have to, like, it has to be like a separation of church and state.
[00:04:22] We have to have a strong wall, a divine.
[00:04:26] Because like Nick, you've, I mean, some, I don't want to brag about my friend.
[00:04:32] But Nick in the last like, the last three months has become quite an expert on how to
[00:04:38] construct and frame shots on color correction.
[00:04:44] Look, our editor quit the night before that fucking.
[00:04:47] Because someone spread a rumor that he has AIDS.
[00:04:51] Our editor is ex-girlfriend was spreading a rumor thing.
[00:04:57] He came over here like I thought he was about to be like, I found I have liver cancer.
[00:05:05] Can we agree that that was a fake excuse?
[00:05:12] It's a 38 year old man saying that someone's spreading a middle school rumor about him.
[00:05:18] He just needed to take a week or two off.
[00:05:21] For the last week or two, Nick has had to decide to teach himself how to use it.
[00:05:27] Editing is our work because we had no one else.
[00:05:31] Nick, it wouldn't make any sense if it weren't on Halloween.
[00:05:36] An important part of the show is that it makes sense.
[00:05:42] They tuned in for a show that makes sense.
[00:05:47] I thought it was just that one fat guy from Patreon that came by that didn't like this
[00:05:54] It seems that no one who watches this show has any idea what the dick habit show is.
[00:06:03] The reference was lost on pretty much everyone.
[00:06:13] They got the same fucking time live live.
[00:06:26] Nick matched the leather only to find out that dick habit used cheap reproductions.
[00:06:33] We got nicer chairs that Kevin had on his set.
[00:06:35] I didn't realize that until I had to find these chairs.
[00:06:42] Shout out to D. Rose Mod on eBay for selling us the chairs.
[00:06:55] This beautiful set that you probably won't ever see framed correctly.
[00:07:07] So note, we're at the point now where we're hiring staff and we're interviewing.
[00:07:19] I'll be able to go on the road every weekend and make a TV show.
[00:07:24] What happened is I got obsessive about lighting stuff.
[00:07:29] And then didn't forgot to write any jokes.
[00:07:35] Updating our audience because the number one thing that we pride ourselves on is transparency.
[00:08:06] If you get to adopt children, you'd have to rename them like a dog or a cat.
[00:08:14] So I could adopt two black kids and name them Moisha and Corey in the house.
[00:08:28] If gay people are allowed to adopt straight kids, I should be allowed to adopt.
[00:08:39] No, I'm going to adopt a black guy and name him.
[00:08:41] And then when he's in trouble, I use his full name.
[00:08:43] Like, I'm like, hey, Corey, but when he's in trouble, I'm like, Corey in the house.
[00:08:49] I'm going to adopt a black son and name him smart guy.
[00:09:00] Did you want to clarify the thing I said about the show being canceled?
[00:09:05] Nick made a joke on the Patreon yesterday that we were recreating.
[00:09:08] We're putting Michelle on hold for four months.
[00:09:12] It was clearly obviously that's not on Nick.
[00:09:15] That's on you guys for being fucking retarded.
[00:09:17] I'm glad you're saying it's not on me because I said that to you on text yesterday.
[00:09:22] Listen, that's clearly on you guys for being retarded.
[00:09:26] Also purported fans of comedy when Nick is clearly making a joke.
[00:09:36] We're not we're we're balls deep in this process.
[00:09:44] We are balls deep in this process, but in like a boo yah sense.
[00:09:48] You know, we're like the audience is a white woman.
[00:09:53] And we said we're going to have sex with you, which is what the.
[00:10:02] She's like, OK, but where's the talk show?
[00:10:06] Glenn Gary Glenn Ross shot for shot remake.
[00:10:14] Basically, what's happening is we need to find someone else
[00:10:19] But the show is going forward to where he goes.
[00:10:26] And then I'd like the only thing I need to be handling
[00:10:31] And then we have writers that are coming in as well that Nick is in.
[00:10:37] The League of extraordinarily canceled gentlemen.
[00:10:40] The thing is, is that we wanted to stop
[00:10:43] working with the sweater brothers after the allegations came out.
[00:10:47] But we've decided that we're going to move forward with them.
[00:10:51] And we're just going to credit them under a gnome dick air.
[00:10:56] Did they say what they want their names to be on the credits?
[00:11:06] I've got these X because we have to run and catch these flights.
[00:11:08] I got this XLR cable, the right angle one.
[00:11:12] But it makes me feel like a like Popeye.
[00:11:17] Like you're going to shoot yourself in the mouth.
[00:11:26] Do people do the sideways going anymore?
[00:11:33] Well, I mean, I guess you kind of have to.
[00:11:39] No, honestly, this is the cool thing about this show,
[00:11:45] And I hope this is, I mean, it's cool for me.
[00:11:47] I hope it's been cool for the audience.
[00:11:49] But the cool thing is to see two men, right,
[00:11:58] We're just two young guys figuring stuff out.
[00:12:14] And they don't, they don't, they don't care.
[00:12:19] What narratively speaking, what you see
[00:12:23] is you see two guys who are on the lowest effort
[00:12:27] and slash quite successful comedy podcast, whose friend
[00:12:34] became, whose friend left to do crowd work.
[00:12:39] And then we, and now we are, and then we made a public,
[00:12:43] a public proclamation that we were making
[00:12:48] That's the other thing that's annoying about this.
[00:12:51] Narratively, I think that is very interesting.
[00:12:54] But I didn't realize it was going to take two and a half
[00:12:56] to three months to get this, to get the set built for one.
[00:13:00] I thought it would take, Danny told me a week and a half.
[00:13:07] Danny also, Danny also was like, Danny also was like,
[00:13:11] And he'd been sending invoices to an email address.
[00:13:16] It's like I've been emailing Nick Mullen Adam Friedland
[00:13:27] No, the first guy that we, that we, that we hired to do the set,
[00:13:33] I, we, we were asking for, for designs and a quote for weeks.
[00:13:40] And I would call him, we'd have conversations,
[00:13:44] And I'd be like, so yeah, anyway, we were talking last night.
[00:13:47] And he was like, what do you mean we were talking?
[00:13:48] I was like, sorry dude, I was talking too much, okay.
[00:13:54] Well, the thing is like, put it like, I didn't think like the joke,
[00:13:57] the joke, the building this set is a joke.
[00:14:01] And the joke was going on Jim and Sam and saying that you're going
[00:14:04] to create a talk show like no one's ever seen before.
[00:14:07] And then you rebuild quite possibly the, the, the most like
[00:14:11] nondescript set, but from the longest running talk show.
[00:14:18] And I'd say quick in whatever iteration for 40 years.
[00:14:23] That was not supposed to take too many.
[00:14:24] And we thought that the joke would be a razzle dazzle.
[00:14:32] What's happening in your mind is, is everybody who's watching,
[00:14:35] they're building their own set in their head and they're imagining
[00:14:37] like a third, they think there's going to be like a basketball hoop.
[00:14:41] They think there's going to be like the skyline of Hong Kong
[00:14:45] They're going to be like this is a great set.
[00:14:53] We should post photos from just the iPhone back there
[00:14:56] because you guys really don't understand this sense.
[00:15:00] I mean, like, and, and honestly, I think just narratively speaking,
[00:15:04] seeing us go through this process and then seeing us, you know,
[00:15:07] trip up and then seeing us learn important lessons.
[00:15:10] I think for an audience, I think that that's something
[00:15:13] to be appreciated, but yeah, we are moving forward.
[00:15:19] But this, I think this is very instructive for our audience
[00:15:22] because I think that this is they really care about,
[00:15:30] Did you just get a text in the pictures of a naked woman?
[00:15:40] Like his iCloud images, him as a mermaid.
[00:15:44] From here on your Apple Watch, it looked like a nude woman.
[00:15:50] I keep all my contacts of women as just their breasts.
[00:15:54] So I remember all the breasts of my life.
[00:16:09] I guarantee you, I promise you, I will corral myself just
[00:16:12] in that world and not overstep my bounds
[00:16:15] and try to make Glenn Gary Glenn Ross, even though that
[00:16:18] No, Nick, what we have to do is if we're here on this set,
[00:16:25] And then once this is done, once this is like we have a weekly
[00:16:31] talk show, we have a guest, we need a guest booker.
[00:16:34] We need a talent booker that has a calendar filled.
[00:16:37] We got three weeks lead time with guests.
[00:16:44] It's not you just asking the same question about Kanye
[00:16:48] Well, I just want to know what people think about what
[00:16:56] We're going to figure out how to turn you into Mike Wallace.
[00:17:10] No, wallets like where you put your money.
[00:17:16] That's what that's the stuff I need to be doing.
[00:17:18] I need to be in a room with other racist men.
[00:17:30] And we make we keep calling her princess Jasmine until she
[00:17:40] Because I'm hiring people under your company.
[00:17:54] You'll take care of all the liability stuff.
[00:17:57] I figured since you were a lawyer, you'd prefer that.
[00:18:05] I'm in San Francisco at Cobb's this weekend.
[00:18:14] And then after I'm done with the road, I don't need to drink
[00:18:24] I thought this was a good appeal to the audience.
[00:18:31] There's just no way to do stand up if you're not drunk.
[00:18:43] If you don't have a drink or two, it feels terrible.
[00:18:50] You're trying to talk to a drunk person.
[00:18:52] And if you're not drunk also, what are you going to?
[00:18:59] No fucking sponsor can tell you otherwise.
[00:19:13] I thought the Racine thing that we did, everyone thought it was...
[00:19:18] If we're doing a peek behind the curtain, everyone thought that was real sweat.
[00:19:21] I thought that was like real movie magic that we did there.
[00:19:27] And I really had to climb on that ladder.
[00:19:38] We got to start doing those safety meetings.
[00:19:42] I want to leave the safety meetings with the crew.
[00:19:52] Dean is such a little like weenie, middle name.
[00:19:56] My son's going to be a little worm man.
[00:20:09] We had a massive celebrity come to the studio on Sunday.
[00:20:14] I'm not going to say anything beyond that.
[00:20:16] But from the Gecko, they walked in to see the mast.
[00:20:21] And his personal videographer just started cleaning our studio for us.
[00:20:38] Every time a girl walks in the studio, she starts cleaning.
[00:20:39] The mice keep chewing on things in here.
[00:20:55] It's like, look, it's a very least it's got to be fun for at least us.
[00:21:03] It's the only thing you got to worry about in life having fun.
[00:21:06] And if you can take care of your family, great.
[00:21:09] And if you can, they can figure their own shit out.
[00:21:12] Have fun and find a way to assassinate a government official.
[00:21:18] We should do things you should be worried about.
[00:21:21] We should do more like, it's not that we're on YouTube.
[00:21:24] We should do more like, you guys, you can do anything you want as long as you have a
[00:21:32] All you got to do is put your fucking dumb ass mind to it and then you can do whatever
[00:21:42] So today's episode is brought to you by.
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[00:22:05] Dude, I might be I'll pick some of that up to assist me.
[00:22:11] Yeah, to help me wean off the fucking, you know what?
[00:22:15] I tell you what's nice about like, like starting drinking again in your thirties is,
[00:22:20] uh, oh, this or the website doesn't work anymore.
[00:22:27] I really can't, uh, the hangovers are a fucking nightmare.
[00:22:30] Dude, yeah, I have two beers and I'm like, just you were always the lightweight though.
[00:22:40] That's just something that comes with age.
[00:22:41] But you would always have like three beers and be like, I fucking love you.
[00:22:46] Honestly, it's literally, it was even before that, I have like, I'll have three sips of
[00:22:50] beer and then it just fixes my personality.
[00:22:53] The decisions, literally, whatever the fuck is wrong with me is just.
[00:23:01] He was like, he's been afraid of your 10 years.
[00:23:03] And you had a beer and he was like, he's so sweet.
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[00:23:37] They have top sellers, green, mayong, dog, mayong, dog, cratum powder, red, mayong,
[00:23:48] It just kind of sounds like deaf Chinese.
[00:23:52] Mung, that, no, no, this is Indonesian.
[00:23:55] That's the same family of like Muslim Thai.
[00:24:05] cow, listen guys, they have these, the green, the red and the white, they do other, they
[00:24:12] The red ship makes it, it's a easy doesn't.
[00:24:17] It makes you fucking like, like your own, like that pill that from limit list.
[00:24:25] It's a movie about, I think just Adderall basically, but let's say you got a pill that
[00:24:32] It's a movie about where he funds a pill where he can use 100% of his brain, Bradley Cooper.
[00:24:39] It's not just a line from fucking defending your life.
[00:24:43] Defending your life fucking ripped towards like, you want to know what percentage of your
[00:24:46] brain, what type of person you're this?
[00:24:51] And then he goes, you know, he says, I use 47% to some fucking line.
[00:25:01] He's a real artist, real hard that guy has.
[00:25:08] Phil just gets more and more handsome every year.
[00:25:15] Yeah, because they tell you, they tell you as a man, they're like, oh man, age gracefully.
[00:25:19] And then we should like, I just look like fucking shit now.
[00:25:25] It's just going to get worse and worse.
[00:25:30] No, I mean, I just feel fucking fucking...
[00:25:32] That's half of the thing that's holding us back in this project, because you're editing
[00:25:35] and looking at your face and be like, oh, what a fucking shoot.
[00:25:40] I don't look like I'm having a good time.
[00:25:48] I don't look like I'm having a good time.
[00:26:06] The story about me is about one of the other ducks that's not particularly attractive,
[00:26:12] And he gets older and then nothing happens.
[00:26:17] This mediocre duck that just sort of gets shitty.
[00:26:19] Do you remember that guy we saw yesterday?
[00:26:22] The middle-aged guy was like, oh, he's around the street.
[00:26:28] That's like his body told an entire story.
[00:26:31] That's the bell, by the way, superspeciosa.com.
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[00:27:06] You deserve the highest quality products in service.
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[00:27:33] The products mentioned on this website are not intended to diagnose...
[00:27:55] That's what you get for sitting gay, you fucking asshole.
[00:28:02] You're just being stabbed in your nerve root for fucking...
[00:28:10] Do you know what I used to do all the time?
[00:28:14] Is I would sit on the toilet too long staring at my phone or my legs would go so asleep.
[00:28:34] And then after that, learn how to go to the bathroom.
[00:28:39] The guy we saw, but I saw a good thing earlier today.
[00:28:42] Just the homeless guy who had one of these.
[00:28:53] And you see that and you're like, well I guess that's why that guy's homeless.
[00:29:13] To try to open a door to help with your...
[00:29:15] Donate to the food bank, New York, Bernie Sanders, whatever.
[00:29:18] Oh yeah, it's Super Tuesday today, Election Day.
[00:29:28] You can't have that Jew from Suffolk County become the governor.
[00:29:45] This is coming out tomorrow or maybe today.
[00:29:58] Normally I wouldn't say anything but you have just like fluid leaking out of your nose.
[00:30:04] I mean I would get what you want but we don't have Kleenex.
[00:30:09] I steal toilet paper from the bathroom of our building.
[00:30:49] It's a book Hitler wrote about his problems.
[00:31:05] That's why you got to be in that writer's room.
[00:31:06] I got to be in the sweater brother's crib bed.
[00:31:08] You can't get the fucking lights anymore.
[00:31:16] Out of all the feedback we got after the first episode with Shane when Nick read the things
[00:31:30] Color in crafting a, you know, kind of.
[00:31:34] We gave him, he took stills from Dick Cabot and tried to match that.
[00:31:38] And if you look at Dick Cabot it looks kind of like a clown's asshole.
[00:31:47] But what we see of the Dick Cabot show is from it reposts on YouTube.
[00:31:56] So we're going to do something different.
[00:32:01] We're going to have to, we're going to have to make the Adam Friedland show look like the
[00:32:17] There's somebody that's like we're going to remake the Adam Friedland show.
[00:32:21] But this time it's going to be good instead of a piece of shit.
[00:32:26] It's just you know everything has a shelf life.
[00:32:32] No no but I mean comedy and that's how comedy works.
[00:32:37] It's like it's fucking like Mark Twain is the only guy who's ever done anything that's
[00:32:45] And it's only because he fucking just that guy.
[00:32:56] You just that all throughout history open that word and ghosts come out and.
[00:33:06] Well like the like Pandora's box and yeah.
[00:33:09] Is it Pandora's box and Raiders of the Lost Ark or it's the Ark of the Covenant.
[00:33:13] Is that the same thing as Pandora's box.
[00:33:16] There's too many boxes that shit comes out of.
[00:33:32] I think you had to link the monkeys arms into a long chain.
[00:33:41] Sometimes you can get away with just packaging.
[00:33:42] That's what we're trying to do with the Adam Friedland show.
[00:33:43] Yeah we're trying to make banana grams.
[00:33:51] So what the hell is this black Adam thing.
[00:34:01] But I'm just focused on the show right now.
[00:34:04] I don't want to get tied up with litigation.
[00:34:17] If it's a black lady lawyer then Gloria Okay.
[00:34:40] But these are these kind of like these little dead spots.
[00:34:44] We'll be able to edit it out in the, I mean I don't want to rely on editing.
[00:34:50] You got, you got to stack a, you got to stack a card sitting there and everything you say
[00:34:56] But anything you say off the card is like whoever you're talking to.
[00:35:11] Were you buggered by the Tories at primary school?
[00:35:22] People are going to figure out who we head on based on the show.
[00:35:31] She's like, she's like, where are the bananas?
[00:35:39] Is anyone have a coconut bra I could borrow?
[00:35:47] Does anyone have a bongo and perhaps a coconut bra I could put on?
[00:35:52] And it's a, it's a man wearing a grass green.
[00:36:00] Wait, here's my question about China, Nick.
[00:36:03] What's the, like, are they fucking over there?
[00:36:08] They seem very busy and obviously they have a lot of people, but like, they fucked too
[00:36:12] They had to make a, they had to make a law saying you're, you, you fucked too much.
[00:36:21] How do you go get like a out to market?
[00:36:24] Is it, do they have arranged marriages or?
[00:36:26] No, you go to the wet market and get wet.
[00:36:33] You smoke some PCP and you hit the fucking shopper's food.
[00:36:37] Do they have, do they, they don't have controlled substances there?
[00:36:42] Apparently the way they drink, my friend lived there, the way they drink is like, they just
[00:36:46] sit at a table until everyone's blackout.
[00:36:55] Where that guy ping, ping joo, pong joo?
[00:37:05] Why did they stop him from doing his thing?
[00:37:07] I'm sure he fucking like gave a thumbs up to an American flag and they put him in prison
[00:37:15] Uh, I don't know if he's with the Uighurs.
[00:37:17] What's going on with the Uighurs, you know?
[00:37:20] Is it still, is it still just a funny word they say?
[00:37:22] I heard what's going on, but I don't want to say it.
[00:37:24] We got to cut, we got to cut the interviews parts where it's just you saying words that
[00:37:28] you think are funny and like snickering.
[00:37:31] Like we can't do any more of that with guests.
[00:37:37] You can have fun, but we do have to be serious.
[00:37:41] You can't have fucking, you know, uh, who's a guest?
[00:37:48] We'll make it happen or I'll find, I'll hire somebody that can hire somebody that can
[00:37:58] And then you can't sit here with Rihanna and be like, why is there an H in your name?
[00:38:11] And then you do that coffee maker laugh.
[00:38:14] You sound like a dying fucking curring.
[00:38:17] You're like, fuck, I hope this thing's under warranty.
[00:38:21] Wait, you don't think that'd be a good question for Rihanna though.
[00:38:29] We got, we, this is why me and we need to hire somebody that can have a good question.
[00:38:34] It can't be an unanswerable question because the question can't be a setup for you to make.
[00:38:43] For you to then say like, what's, what, how could she possibly answer that question?
[00:38:53] Well, maybe it stands for something like, oh, no, no.
[00:38:59] You're not saying, I'm not bringing Rihanna on the show for you to call her a whore.
[00:39:09] That could be an interview question in your, in your songs.
[00:39:14] And you're already starting to do it because I know where you're going to go.
[00:39:15] You're going to say, what is a rude boy?
[00:39:18] No, you're going to say in your song, you're the lyric that says, come on, rude boy boy.
[00:39:35] Well, it's a huge jump from like basic functioning penis to your dick has to be huge.
[00:39:43] Because that's where the inquiry starts.
[00:39:53] You, you, there's space in between the.
[00:39:55] It's always bothered me when I've heard that song.
[00:40:06] That's technically guys with micro penis's could have sex.
[00:40:10] No, there was there was some like reality show that I saw one time about guys with,
[00:40:17] And there was one guy, dude, it was like one of the saddest things ever.
[00:40:19] I don't even know why he let them film this.
[00:40:21] Like who's agreeing to go on that show?
[00:40:23] He's got a wife and he's like, and I just hope we can finally have sex because I guess
[00:40:26] they never fuck because he has sometimes your dick can be so small and you can be so
[00:40:30] fat that they have something and they it's so rude of them to even pretend this is a
[00:40:34] disease, but they call it hidden penis syndrome.
[00:40:40] Which like like at least give it a Greek name.
[00:40:46] You can't call it hidden, hidden penis syndrome.
[00:40:49] Or just name it after that guy's last name.
[00:40:53] No, it just looks like fucking Jefferson syndrome.
[00:40:55] Yeah, no, it should just it looks like somebody dropped a marble on an overproofed pizza,
[00:40:59] It's just a fucking like a belly button.
[00:41:11] It's just in his body somewhere and then.
[00:41:12] And then it just keeps up maybe with a little motor.
[00:41:21] It tells you how much more spring we're going to have.
[00:41:22] And just bites and then you've seen that video.
[00:41:27] Pucksatani Phil biting the mayor's ear.
[00:41:34] He's got the groundhog to his ear and he's listening to it and this fucking thing.
[00:41:42] And it doesn't know it has a job and it's just this big rat.
[00:41:49] Fucking wants to go eat cheese and a whole.
[00:41:52] And they fucking they're just holding it like a big catered sandwich to the mayor's ear.
[00:41:57] How does this thing know if it sees it's shadow?
[00:42:00] And it just the mayor is listening to it and it just gets him and it's like it gets him
[00:42:07] It pulls away but you can see the fucking this little guy and then they just pull it away
[00:42:17] And so yeah, this guy has to go get surgery.
[00:42:22] I forgot where we were but you like that micro penis is medical designation.
[00:42:28] So like literally you have to go like a doctor.
[00:42:34] A doctor tells you that you have a small.
[00:42:40] It's just degree by to be like, sir, you have a small.
[00:42:45] I went to I went to eight years of college.
[00:42:51] It was fucking the diagram of the heart inside of the man.
[00:42:56] Anyways, this guy has a hidden penis and he goes in for surgery and he's like, yeah,
[00:43:01] so they're going to like expose my penis.
[00:43:04] They're going to cut away all the fat around my penis to bring my penis out so I can put
[00:43:09] it in my wife and you know where the balls what where the balls during there somewhere.
[00:43:24] They're kind of they're like the balls.
[00:43:33] The balls are like they're off somewhere else.
[00:43:37] Somebody comes by and like, where's the deck?
[00:43:50] So this guy goes into surgery and they just like fades to black and it comes out and they're
[00:43:54] like, well, his heart wasn't in good enough shape to do the surgery.
[00:43:58] So they just wake him up and they tell you what.
[00:44:08] And then a director somewhere was like, get this dude.
[00:44:10] Get him crying and go to switch to camera.
[00:44:14] Let's still do a split screen and we'll show his penis tucked away forever.
[00:44:40] That's my, that's my favorite thing I do now at this point because it's like, I'm
[00:44:44] I'm, I'll probably die alone, honestly.
[00:44:47] I get worse and worse at, you know, I'm just at this point.
[00:44:51] I'm just, you know, watching my friends disappear.
[00:44:57] But then I'll just project that on to like just everything else.
[00:45:02] Just like being obsessed with that Yeti cooler subreddit.
[00:45:04] I'm like, oh, these guys are fucking and then you read the post and it's like me and
[00:45:08] my wife went camping this week and I'm like, yeah, he's not happy.
[00:45:14] He's probably a really well adjusted guy.
[00:45:21] I'm eating fucking just this expired pretzels.
[00:45:27] Laughing about it with my other friend who's, you know, you know, similar.
[00:45:41] You guys that you guys have a great time together.
[00:45:54] Try to fucking try to do some twee shit with.
[00:46:06] You're just standing on the street waiting for you guys to finish.
[00:46:22] What if we go picked fucking blueberries afterwards?
[00:46:36] You're telling her you're scaring the children.
[00:46:37] Today's episode of the Adam Freeland show is also brought to you by Ridge Wallet.
[00:46:43] If you guys here is a cross promo best wallet I've ever had.
[00:46:49] Adam's got the backpack somewhere in here.
[00:46:52] No, I didn't bring my backpack to the Ridge wallet.
[00:46:56] So if you guys are members of patreon of the patreon patreon.com slash T F S you saw our
[00:47:05] tour documentary and you saw prominently featured Nick and I both have the commuter
[00:47:19] It's like, no, it's like covered so that if it's raining your laptop won't get wet.
[00:47:25] There's like a wait, but it's not like a flap.
[00:47:29] But yeah, it's like this locking system that's like not like on your fly.
[00:47:33] Well, I have to have that on my fly also because of my because the water is a pea.
[00:47:44] Well, because of my hidden penis syndrome, it's actually it's pee for months ago that
[00:47:51] They don't talk about how men with with HP.
[00:48:09] I'm going to get the I'm just signing for the New York Marathon and say you're out here
[00:48:22] I think this this cool item on Ridge, which is a key case.
[00:48:28] So it's like you spend your whole life with these damn keys on rings, right?
[00:48:32] They have this thing that's like they all hold in case.
[00:48:40] That seems like something Nick would get into.
[00:48:46] Is it a simplified watch to simplify your life?
[00:48:56] So you can just you can put an air tag on the wallet pretty easily.
[00:49:00] They really they really they really leveled up.
[00:49:02] They've really stepped up their game and we've been with them since the beginning when
[00:49:07] It started off as a GoFundMe or something, right?
[00:49:11] Now they got commercials on taps and they got commercials on the motherfucker.
[00:49:23] They're always they're always innovating.
[00:49:27] So whether it's wallets, backpacks, key cases, what else they have air tag.
[00:49:36] They find a way to simplify all of your basic items that you carry with you every day.
[00:49:43] But they find a way to make it more efficient.
[00:49:46] And if there's anything Nick and I like, as you can tell, Prince Pending 100 and probably
[00:49:52] some of the million dollars and counting.
[00:50:27] Guys, they got all these fucking things.
[00:50:34] I've brought it, take it through airport security all the time.
[00:50:42] Anyway, these pens also look really nice too.
[00:50:48] Anyways, go to ridgewile.com, use promo code comtown or comtown20.
[00:50:52] No drinking this weekend in San Francisco.
[00:50:57] Come out, but keep in mind, I won't be drunk.
[00:51:11] It started off with like, I have a glass of wine with dinner.
[00:51:20] Well, now I want, yeah, just beers every day.
[00:51:30] You're not going to nut level, the world sucks.
[00:51:34] You know what my fear was for like ten years?
[00:51:37] And you got to do what's right for you.
[00:51:38] The time I spent sober, I was always like, oh, I could always start drinking yet.
[00:51:44] It was like, well, if shit sucks, I can always start drinking again.
[00:51:46] But then I always had this fear there to like that won't be the answer.
[00:51:54] And then it's like, well, there's nothing else to do now.
[00:52:00] But it's not good for you. It doesn't make you feel good. I need you the next day. I need you feel bad going to the gym
[00:52:05] I need to schedule and take care of myself
[00:52:07] And we need some because that's all you do it. We need camera ops and lights. I've never regretted going
[00:52:15] I've never regretted going. Yes, I've never regretted going because you are like to be honest with you and I'll say this again about
[00:52:25] Yeah, yeah, and you love it too. You it's fun, dude. It's a lot of fun, but then you get to the end of it and it's like
[00:52:32] You know, I mean, I just just wipe it up, but wipe it on your sleeve. Come on. Let's finish the episode
[00:52:39] Just wipe it on your sleeve. You should have you know you do this all the time. You know you sneeze
[00:52:48] Let's just do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it.
[00:52:56] All right and we're back and we're back. I like being honest, dude
[00:53:00] It's more fun to be honest. What do they think? What do they think?
[00:53:05] I don't know. They think we're some sort of like flim flammen. What does that mean?
[00:53:13] I'm going to blow my nose, dude. You just did on your sleeve. I didn't blow it. I wiped my nose
[00:53:17] But now boogers are still in my nose. No, you're fine. Stop. Stop. All right. Fine. Sorry.
[00:53:22] We're going to do more. We're going to do more since you're a sobriety chat. Yeah, everybody's
[00:53:28] Everybody's favorite thing. I don't know. Yeah. This is a good example for kids. Yeah. Yeah. For all the kids
[00:53:37] Like kids in between like I guess I'll dish it too. This shit. This is the fucking thing. Yeah. It makes you know
[00:53:45] We're all just like pretending that this is better than cigarettes.
[00:53:48] And also a cigarette is a nice. Oh, yeah. That's that's yeah, right. Chinese perfume. This is not cool.
[00:53:54] That's probably better for your fucking body. Yeah. Yeah. Inhaling. But unknown chemicals from the literal
[00:54:01] Enemy. The Chinese do this? Yeah, of course. I'm pretty sure. I thought it was like a family of
[00:54:08] Chill, Cali kind of stoner. The Chinese make everything. Yeah, they do. This one is like a like apple made it.
[00:54:15] Like the like the metal cases of. Yeah. Also, it's just so wasteful. You blast through this and you just throw to the trash. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:54:26] So what else we got? This is why we need, you know, those cue cards. We can do like interview stuff. No.
[00:54:34] All right. Anyways, so yeah, we'll talk about the election. Are you going to vote for real today?
[00:54:41] Yeah, I got a Pennsylvania fake ID. So I go vote for for Fettie Wop. Oh, nice. Yeah. How's he doing?
[00:54:48] I don't know. He's probably going to win, right? I think regular folks don't like Dr. Oz. Like folks that would vote for public. Why?
[00:54:58] Because he's bitch. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. He's not cool. He's not. Yeah. He's just someone that has a TV career, but not because he's like cool.
[00:55:08] Right? Yeah. What do you think? There's no reason to run out the clock on this. We're 54 minutes. Guys, thanks for joining us. You're done? Yeah. Whatever.
[00:55:18] I mean, what to just to repeat things we said about Dr. Oz for another five minutes for no reason. When did we talk about Dr. Oz? A couple of weeks ago. We talked about the chain.
[00:55:26] Oh, Shane. Yeah. Shane said he was a bitch. Guys, stay tuned. We're going to get the producer. We'll get another editor. We'll figure this out.
[00:55:34] I'm fucking with these lights. I'll get sleep. I'll put my room together. You need to get sleep with my guys. And then, yes, the Adam Preland show will happen. We're good. One way or the other. Guys, don't worry. That's all we're saying. Don't worry. Hey, don't worry. We're going to worry for you. But you don't worry. You don't. We're incredibly worried. Don't worry about a thing. All right. See you next week, guys.