[00:00:00] All right, everyone welcome to the Adam Freelun show. I'm your host Adam Freelun the Wednesday

[00:00:07] episode today is Thursday. We're getting a lot of good, a lot of good feedback on our

[00:00:14] last video episode. We are doing Thursday because we did the episode job yesterday.

[00:00:18] Yeah, the episode job yesterday. Also me and you both had migraines. We had migraines.

[00:00:23] I'm kidding. Before you guys say that that is female tendencies, we got migraines from

[00:00:28] having black along from getting too much pussy and getting too much pussy. This is a pussy

[00:00:33] love and show. This is a pussy loving show. Thanks for all the good feedback we've been

[00:00:36] getting on our last episode. The support of the community really does matter a lot to

[00:00:41] us. And you know, we do it for you. Like I said at the beginning of the episode, it

[00:00:45] is about the pleasure of the audience. I really appreciate all that. And you know, I never

[00:00:51] thought I would be thanks for letting me take my birthday off to and yeah, happy birthday

[00:00:55] Nick show. You'll notice the show is getting better. And you got you took point on all

[00:01:02] that. That was all you. You cast you cast some guy who looks exactly like me to play

[00:01:07] me. Yeah, yeah, it was pretty good. Very nice move. I feel like we haven't done this. This

[00:01:13] kind of thing. I can't I can't see the guy gonna get this fucking thing going. What do

[00:01:17] you have to get going? Oh, the timer because I can't see the border. Yeah, because now

[00:01:22] this is I forgot that when I did. Yeah, we haven't done this. I did this with Ian and

[00:01:26] Mike last week. Yeah. And that was that was a real fun one. Thank you them. They're both

[00:01:32] banned from ever coming back on the show. Why? I don't know. I'm just kidding. Oh, okay.

[00:01:37] Something happened. You know, nothing happened. I didn't listen to Ian was talking about

[00:01:41] how just this is me updating Nick on a bit that you guys have all heard. He was talking

[00:01:47] about how everyone in his neighborhood loves him. And I was just doing impressions of

[00:01:52] minority business owners in East Williams, being like, Oh, the Chuck E. Cheese man.

[00:01:59] He comes. He's come and Chuck E. Cheese man. I'd rather die from why Alicia from our

[00:02:06] militia. Oh, Chuck E. Cheese. Why is he Chuck E. Cheese man? Because he looks like a rat.

[00:02:11] Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, it's a Chuck E. Cheese man. He does. But he kind of he looks like

[00:02:16] he looks like the kind of rat like a cartoon rat that would like manage like a telegraph

[00:02:21] office. You know what I mean? Like he just lay works. He lives and works right off the

[00:02:26] railroad. And he's like, no telegrams today, sir. Yeah, it's pretty much the same voice.

[00:02:32] We don't have any telegrams for you today, sir. I'll keep my ear pressed to the wire and

[00:02:37] see if we got anything good for you. Thanks, Hampton or whatever his name is, but the telegram

[00:02:42] rat, the great mouse detective. Great mouse detective. Yeah. It appears this mouse was

[00:02:50] raped. That's my favorite line in the movie. Yeah, it's pretty good. Opens and he's a rape

[00:02:56] wasn't good, but I was good. I'm a detective. And I have detected that someone has cut

[00:03:04] off her tail and rape. That is the kind of mouse detective I am. Yes. You don't want

[00:03:14] okay, mouse detective. Okay, mouse detective. We're going to need you to crawl into this

[00:03:18] woman's pussy and get the semen. Yeah. Yeah. Now, I know you're pretty upset about your

[00:03:26] sexual assault, but we got great news. One of our latest detectives is the great mouse

[00:03:31] detective. Yeah. And he's going to crawl up there and get that. She's like, no, this

[00:03:37] is worse than this. The sexual assault. My re-living my trauma will over. Please don't

[00:03:43] put a rat in my pussy. That's exactly what my rape is. Yeah. Yeah. I guess he is a little

[00:03:51] chucky. Cheese, man. He does look like a child. I feel like I'm a little too hot. What? I feel

[00:03:56] like I'm a little too hot. I've been turning my mic down on the show. I've been slowly

[00:03:59] lowering the volume, but I accidentally swapped ours. Yeah. I'm slowly disappearing. My dream.

[00:04:06] Sure. My dream has always been the, you know what? It's not somebody fucked up all of

[00:04:15] the, it's not that I was too loud. It's at the game is up to us. It's not the game. It's

[00:04:21] the, the like the EQ. Let me hear. I'm going to just go back here. The EQ should be at

[00:04:28] zero. Correct? I don't know, man. Yeah. Anyway. So yeah, that was a pretty good bit from last

[00:04:34] week. I wish Nick could have been there when I was talking about how these guys were saying

[00:04:40] that if he came to rape their daughters and wives, they would rather go first. I've been

[00:04:45] taking some, some personal time, my damn self. Nick's been taking some personal time and then

[00:04:50] I am honestly very happy about that. Check. Check. It seems like we were in a good space

[00:04:55] creatively. How does that sound? It sounds weird. It sounds like there's like,

[00:05:01] like it sounds flat. It's another thing. Dave is fucked up. That sounds a little better.

[00:05:05] Yeah. Okay. That's, that's why we'll get you talk Adam. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check.

[00:05:10] Keep going. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. That sounds good.

[00:05:15] All right. All right. No. Okay. Oh, fuck. Yes. Yeah. Like I said, it feels like it's been a

[00:05:23] while since we've just done just the two of these regular epi's. We can make it if we try just the

[00:05:30] two of us. I've got guys. No. No, I didn't know that old show. No, I just didn't know you were

[00:05:37] going there with that song. And now I said, I was singing with you. No. Oh, you were singing the act.

[00:05:42] But what if the new parody, what if the new thing we do on this show is just sing the songs the

[00:05:47] right way? Yeah. And that's funny because it's, it's embarrassing. Just every 30 seconds. Just

[00:05:57] sing a song. And it seems to me you live your life like a candle in the wind. We're going to pull

[00:06:04] the microwave. Sorry. Sorry about that. Um, like a candle in the wind. Something.

[00:06:11] You're just the wind is blowing. The veins on your forehead start popping out because you really

[00:06:18] just want to make it a gay parody song. And here comes the wind. I just don't remember. I don't know

[00:06:23] this song. That's the problem is I don't know any songs. Yeah. I never even, I was never a song

[00:06:27] parody guy. I just don't know how any song. That's just how you remember them. No, you got to put

[00:06:31] something in there and might as well lean on your crutches. I would hate to hate people when they

[00:06:36] say that. They were like, Oh, that's a crutch. If you do like a lazy type of joke, they're like, Oh,

[00:06:40] that's a crutch. And it's like, I'm sorry. You're being ableist. Yeah, I'm injured. And then they'll

[00:06:45] look at this and they're like, that's that you're making fun of people saying able to call things

[00:06:50] ableist, which is in and of itself. And I crutch. I'm like, well, then you need to pick a new word

[00:06:54] because I found the loophole. You set yourself up. Checkmate. It's kind of

[00:07:00] always only use idioms like that. Chess based. I say stuff like the snake eats its own tail.

[00:07:07] Stuff like that. Rook the D five. Yeah.

[00:07:14] Rook. What is that? Why do you say chat? Why did? Because blind the blind.

[00:07:22] Oh, blind people play chess. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it'd be very easy to win against the blind guy.

[00:07:28] Yeah, you're like, Well, I just checkmate. I just got your king. They're like, what do you mean?

[00:07:31] It's like, well, he's on C three. They're like, I thought he was on there. Like, I know you must

[00:07:37] have forgotten. I'm looking at the board. So I can see that you're in, you're in check.

[00:07:44] Mate. Checkmate. Yeah. And what's that supposed to be like? A guy that has sex with checks.

[00:07:52] This is a guy that is boy. He's having sex with his checkbook. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[00:07:57] Yeah. That's that's who I'm supposed to be afraid of in this game. I'll be performing that in

[00:08:03] by town next week. So he says to me, checkmate. That's a one way ticket to bite.

[00:08:16] Oh, that's good. Yeah. Oh, that's too good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel excited about this weekend.

[00:08:21] We got some more shit cooking for the show. How do you feel about rebranding the podcast? Because,

[00:08:26] look, bottom line is the podcast is going to have to continue. Well, do the Adam Friedland show.

[00:08:32] The Adam Friedland show will have to be Patreon only content. Yeah. I think until we figure out how

[00:08:38] to do two a week. Here's the dilemma we have for years, because it's my personal extremely

[00:08:44] revolutionary politics. I don't believe in intellectual property. I've never had a problem with people

[00:08:48] re uploading content. But now that we have to use YouTube, I don't know. There's already nobody's

[00:08:54] going to use coming to our channel to watch our shit. Yeah. So it gets uploaded. Maybe four people

[00:08:59] watch it, and then it just gets goes elsewhere. Well, even the free ones get re uploaded, I saw.

[00:09:05] I know. And it's an issue with for selling ads. And right. I mean, the podcast is not a problem.

[00:09:12] The podcast people still downloaded. So we need to sell ads for next year. So we got to send those

[00:09:18] re uploaders to Gitmo. Well, we're going to have to just we're going to have to continue doing.

[00:09:22] Unfortunately, continue doing the podcast for the entirety of next year, so I can sell these ad

[00:09:27] contracts and we can at least make sure we keep the lights on in this fucking place. Yeah. That way,

[00:09:33] that way, no matter what happens, we're good. Well, yeah. I mean, when we eventually alienate

[00:09:39] the entirety of the audience, we will need those. You got to you got to plan on that contingency.

[00:09:44] Yeah. We have to plan on 100% of the audience abandon. What the fuck is the word contingency?

[00:09:49] I don't know. I've been using it my entire life and I've ever looked it up.

[00:09:53] You know, it's probably, you know, con probably means something. Yeah. And then tinge. Yeah. So

[00:10:01] we're going to rebrand this for next year. Probably rebrand this is the Adam Friedland show podcast.

[00:10:05] Yeah. World. The Adam Friedland show podcast world.

[00:10:09] Branding this is Addy's world. Addy's world. Yeah. That's a good name. I like that name.

[00:10:14] Yeah. Okay. So this will be Addy's world and the Adam Friedland show will be the talk show.

[00:10:20] An anti-copying podcast. And then there's going to be law and order great mouse detective,

[00:10:26] Golan Addy's detective. And that's special victims unit. And that's going to be a show that's going

[00:10:33] to be a cartoon rat that goes inside women's pussy. Yeah, the great mouse. Like some

[00:10:38] like some see it. Voice by Adam. Yeah. Yeah. What is this? Like the inside of a pussy. What's the

[00:10:43] thing here? You can just speak. You don't have to do it. What's this like your pussy? Yes. Oh,

[00:10:49] yes. I noticed there's multiple different semen samples inside of the here. You know what I checked

[00:10:55] in on this seems as if someone's run a train. I haven't watched Tucker Carlson in a while. Yeah.

[00:11:00] I put it on. It's just been DVR that my cable like six months ago or how long maybe you go now.

[00:11:06] I have no idea. Yeah. There's just a whole backlog at Tucker Carlson and just I mean the companies

[00:11:14] that advertise on that show, I don't know, brought this up before, but so funny. Yeah.

[00:11:18] Yeah. It's for people that are about to die. Well, there's one. There's one for this

[00:11:22] shade called Eurolift where it starts off and it's a guy on a stage. It's like a green screen.

[00:11:28] He's in this massive auditorium. It's the kind of thing we would do. Yeah. And he's on a stage.

[00:11:34] And he's like men over 45 getting a prostate check or whatever. And then the monitor behind

[00:11:39] them, there's like a fire hose going off in slow motion and like an NYPD fireboat like spraying

[00:11:45] water. Right. And it's for this surgery where I guess they just basically shove a balloon animal

[00:11:50] up your dick and then inflate it to like make your tube bigger. Oh, when you said Eurolift,

[00:11:56] I imagine that thing that's like a chair that takes you up the stairs. But it goes on the other side

[00:12:02] of the stairs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think I love the little chair. I love to rise

[00:12:11] a little chair upstairs. Yeah. My dainty ankles could not handle the stuff. I love to be handicapped.

[00:12:21] I love it. Wait. So it's a balloon product for your penis. I don't know if it's a balloon. I don't

[00:12:25] know how it works, but they expand your urethra. They shove something in there to expand your

[00:12:30] urethra. Oh, it's not forgetting hard. It's for no, it's for pissing harder to aggressively

[00:12:35] piss in front of other old men. So that no, you're too, your whole hasn't shut. Yeah. Yeah. Like

[00:12:40] was other old, well, maybe for guys with prostate problems or something. No, you guys, you give like,

[00:12:46] because you know, you're surprising it swollen by the time you're 50, you piss, it sounds like

[00:12:51] one of those fucking light up paintings in a Chinese restaurant. It's just like, could you week?

[00:12:56] Like that's, that's all you got coming out of this thing and inflates your stuff. Anyways,

[00:13:02] this guy's on stage. He's like, no cutting. There's no cutting involved. They don't say surgery.

[00:13:09] They say no cutting. Maybe it does because I don't know what the definition of surgery is. I guess

[00:13:14] if you put a balloon in somebody's deck, that's a type of surgery. So maybe they have to say no

[00:13:18] cutting. And then at the end, he finishes his speech and he just goes, yes. And then walks off stage.

[00:13:26] And I kept rewatching it. I'm like, why does he say yes? There's no question. He just goes, yes.

[00:13:34] That is like something we were making. Yeah.

[00:13:38] Yeah. Your left system full power stream. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I mean, I guess the other option we

[00:13:48] could do is just have the podcast be the Patreon and then just have just us be the first people that

[00:13:54] upload the YouTube the video. I was. I don't fucking know how business works. I didn't get

[00:14:01] into this. I didn't get into this. Our plan, our plan of like continuing the podcast aspect throughout

[00:14:07] the year is like fucking good time. And so we might change our minds and six weeks. So don't

[00:14:12] any time we say we have a plan for the show, everyone's like freaks out and they're like,

[00:14:16] that's what's going on. So guys, this is what we think this week. And then we'll figure it out.

[00:14:21] Now that we have like, now that we're able to do like, it's kind of like,

[00:14:25] like jumping rope or learning how to juggle or something. Now that we finally hit the high

[00:14:31] watermark of two video episodes back to back, huge. And we got like a production schedule

[00:14:36] starting to start to make sense. I mean, now it's time for a little victory. Yes. Yeah,

[00:14:42] I'm smoking a fucking Cuban right now. Yeah. Because the problem was, you know, like making

[00:14:47] something and then we're like, fuck yeah, and then we just go to KGB and we get drunk for seven

[00:14:52] days and fuck, we got to put another episode out tomorrow. Yeah. And we're like, Steven, can you

[00:14:56] edit it? And he's like, everyone's saying I have a yeah. But no, yeah, very soon. Well, now we have

[00:15:09] two editors. I feel like we're just streamlining this entire process. The only thing we still

[00:15:14] need the soundproof of the room, we need lights. Correct. No, we're getting more lights. We got,

[00:15:22] we got the acoustic drape treatment. We got the $8,000 acoustic drape installed. Yeah.

[00:15:28] Is that how much those were? Yes. It's funny because we hired Dave. So now I'm not spending

[00:15:32] the money anymore. And it's Dave spending the money. It seems like Dave is spending a lot of money.

[00:15:36] Yeah. And in my, in my mind, I'm like, none of my damn business.

[00:15:41] You're money. Literally my business. You're business.

[00:15:46] And none of my damn business. None of my damn business. Can't say it was me spending the money.

[00:15:51] That was on Dave. Smooth move, Dave. You're not going to be seeing that back, Dave.

[00:16:00] No, I mean, I think things are coming along pretty good. We, oh, and to update the audience,

[00:16:04] we did fund, hopefully, pretty close to finding a talent book or so. We got it. That's done.

[00:16:11] It's just negotiating the rate. Okay. $82,000 a month.

[00:16:14] I don't know if we can afford that. Why not? I mean, the guests have to be big.

[00:16:21] If it's $82,000. Yeah. I mean, we, we have to be getting like, to get an old trumpet guy.

[00:16:27] That was huge. Trumpic. That was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. He was great. Yeah. He was great. Yeah.

[00:16:36] There was so much that we got there was so much left on the cutting room floor.

[00:16:42] Oh, look what there was just he just goes on for like 30 minutes. You talk about Ross Perot.

[00:16:48] You guys do a little waltz to dance with my father? I don't think he can dance.

[00:16:52] Yeah. I don't think he's in dancing. You guys dance. We didn't do a walkout.

[00:16:57] We didn't do a walkout because he's literally you can't walk. No, like he come here on his hands,

[00:17:04] like Lanky from Donkey Kong. Dave went down to his apartment, picked him up. He had like,

[00:17:10] could he physically pick them up? Picked him up at it. You know, in a car. I've never seen

[00:17:15] into the apartment went into the apartment. I really imagine he comes here like an orangutan.

[00:17:19] He's just a clothing line from his apartment. He just swings. Then he had globs. He had globs

[00:17:27] of makeup on his face. Dave's like, I think you need to. So then Dave had to wave for him to finish

[00:17:32] his makeup. You know, I love his, I love his haircut too. And then he told me that he's

[00:17:38] a haircut of like a little girl from advertisements from the 1910s. Yeah, he looks like a Dutch girl.

[00:17:43] Yeah. He looks like he's like a Dutch girl in clocks. Then Dave, little Bethany's heroin soap.

[00:17:51] He comes in here. He's like, do you like my makeup? I did it before I left. And I was like,

[00:17:55] yeah, it's very nice. And he's like, it's Clinique. That's what he said. It's Clinique. You know,

[00:18:01] like as if like, I'm gonna go get some for me. And then, but he wears these baseball cleats

[00:18:08] around New York City. Yeah. But like for traction, but on a hard surface, like it's all like grass.

[00:18:15] Look, you never know when you're gonna call it up to the maid.

[00:18:19] When your Bob Dylan's friend that can fly, you never know. He also said, I don't know if you

[00:18:24] listened to the full interview, but he said that he sat on Mickey Fettles lap. And I was like,

[00:18:29] how old are you? I just imagine him at this age. He's the same age as Mickey Man.

[00:18:36] They were born the same year, 18. So, yeah, so he came in, but he didn't have so he walks in the

[00:18:44] first thing he looks at me goes, I threw out my back. But he was like, he was that literally at a

[00:18:49] right angle, like from the waist. And instead of using a cane, he was using a umbrella. What back?

[00:19:01] He's got a six inch back. He's got such a bizarre look. His body. I really,

[00:19:06] it's like the way his body is incredible. It's like how I would draw people as a kindergartner.

[00:19:11] Yeah. Yeah. So Dave had, yeah. So Dave had a walkerman. So it was Dave on one side,

[00:19:15] then the umbrella on the other side, bracing him. And then when he walked in, I kind of felt like

[00:19:20] you asked him, you were like, so you were in the film, Dunston checks in. So,

[00:19:26] the star of the movie, Dunston checks in. You see where this the star of the film,

[00:19:32] Ed joins us today. So what was it like working with Matt LeBlanc?

[00:19:38] You did ask him my friends though. I didn't ask him my friends. Well, it came up somehow.

[00:19:42] Oh, we also had an editor on that, but I brought up Seinfeld. And he was telling me,

[00:19:47] I guess we took it out, but he was talking about how much he was told the idea.

[00:19:50] You say how much he hates Seinfeld. Why? But he likes friends, but not because friends is good,

[00:19:56] but because he likes to look at the eye candy. Yeah, because of, because of he.

[00:20:03] He was the fuck. Smelly cat, dude. Smelly cat. Yeah.

[00:20:07] He's the hippie ideal. Yeah, but he hates Ross. He was saying he was like saying that David

[00:20:14] Schwimmer, he's he's not a fan. Do you think there's going to be guys?

[00:20:18] That was a big edit job. Because we got a lot. Look, the counterculture movement ruined,

[00:20:24] I mean, I don't know what kind of life that guy would have had. He'd been kept, he'd been

[00:20:27] eating fish heads in the back of his family shoe store. Yeah. For the rest of his life,

[00:20:31] just chained to a wall. No, I think he grew up wealthy. I think he's a rich kid. Yeah.

[00:20:36] Okay. Because he was talking about how he would have been a mansion playing a piano from across

[00:20:39] the room. His dad was like best friends with Robert Morgenthau. Just reaching across the room to play a

[00:20:45] piano. Yeah, yeah. No, and then he all is all this, but I mean, he is the most interesting thing

[00:20:54] about that guy from when I saw the original video and listening to talk about like subsequently.

[00:20:59] And I've also like, you know, I mean, like anybody else on like, did a kind of a deep dive into the

[00:21:04] guy is that he is like the quintessential boomer. He's the guy that's, you know, just mentioning

[00:21:11] Bob Dylan or these things. It's like he's gone to Mount Olympus by, yeah, yeah, by sitting on

[00:21:16] Mickey Manel's lap. And then the way in which they mentioned the, the, or like bring up the

[00:21:23] counterculture, counterculture, as if like, you know, they fucking like, they thought they thought,

[00:21:30] yeah, because that was their World War II. Yeah, the generation before them, you know, beat the

[00:21:35] Nazi, they died. Yeah. So they're like, we're the reason blacks can go to restaurants, because I

[00:21:40] wasn't sure where the flower on. Yeah, because I would listen to music and college. Yeah, because

[00:21:46] I wanted to fuck like without a condo. Yeah, like three times. And then they hang on to that for

[00:21:51] a while. And it's like, is that going to be like, are there going to be people that like,

[00:21:54] in, there's going to be some 60 year old guy that's like, I marched for George Floyd.

[00:22:01] Well, you're holding up the line. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:22:06] Yeah, no, they, they, it's just like they literally used something from 60 years ago.

[00:22:11] It's much better to be a fucking nihilist to get one of the, to be one of the generations

[00:22:15] where the should just falls out. Yeah. So the zoomers are lucky. They got nothing to care about.

[00:22:19] They don't give a fuck about. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I was, who was I talking,

[00:22:26] no, no, no, I'm not going to bring that up on the show. Bring up what someone that is a friend

[00:22:31] of ours was talking about how afraid of them he is. I was like, just you're posting. Oh, who's

[00:22:37] afraid of who? Of the nihilistic, of the nihilistic zumer. That's such a dumb thing.

[00:22:44] They're not actually afraid. That's just the thing you think you're supposed to say.

[00:22:48] A friend of ours who? Uh huh. Who? Oh, yeah. Ian Fide's Ian Fide's. Yeah, I'm really

[00:23:02] afraid of these zoomers. The way they don't care about stuff. Not like us. We were listening to

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[00:24:52] just been addicted to cratum and said alcohol. Maybe your mom would have gotten gotten through

[00:24:57] the holidays unscratched. That's right. My dad would get drunk and fucking scratch my mom.

[00:25:10] She would go to work with scratches all over her face and lie to her coworkers and say she had a cat.

[00:25:17] We didn't have a cat. My dad just couldn't get out of Vietnam and his head.

[00:25:24] Anyway, that the what they subject their their products to the strictest quality control

[00:25:31] standards in the industry. Every batch is thoroughly inspected and lab tested for impurities and

[00:25:37] contaminants lab tested on rats on rats. They get the rats fucked up and they say get in that

[00:25:42] pussy boy. Go get near get in that pussy. Go and get and if it hurts then we know we've just

[00:25:48] recreated your father. We're trying to create rats that don't scratch women when they climb

[00:25:52] and some other places to retrieve semen from sexual. Yeah, we're creating the greatest

[00:25:57] mouse detectors of all time here at super specialion.com free shipping. You can sign up for rewards

[00:26:07] promotions exclusive discounts and they'll give you your free shipping on your first order free

[00:26:13] who they ask questions. Can I use super leaf if I wear diapers? Unfortunately, super leaf is not

[00:26:19] available for people that wear diapers and or who are babies. If you're not a baby though,

[00:26:26] then you'd like super leaf. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, for sure.

[00:26:33] American Creative Association GMP Association qualified vendor. Make sure you use promo code

[00:26:38] comtown or comtown 20 or the Adam Friedlin show or the Adam Friedlin show 20 or just try to come

[00:26:44] down come down 21st. See if that works. It's harvested in the rainforest of Southeast Asia,

[00:26:49] just the leaf, all plant no fillers, no synthetics, lab tested for contaminants, adult

[00:26:56] earns and heavy metals. This is a really good way to make your life better is using all the stuff.

[00:27:05] Like if you use the red one, that's for easy does it afternoon body and mind. The green one,

[00:27:10] crystal clear focus all day energy and the yellow one super charged morning energy.

[00:27:17] So you got to wake up and hit a little yellow. Then in the afternoon, do a little red

[00:27:25] and then stay up all night on green. What is Polynesia, by the way?

[00:27:32] It's where they run trains, bro. Oh yeah, Polynesia. Oh, I forgot that I'm not supposed to cheat on

[00:27:39] my wife. I've got Polynesia. Oh, that is an Asia. Okay. I think it's in the ocean. I just asked,

[00:27:49] I went by Chick-fil-A earlier. I was like, what the fuck is Polynesian sauce?

[00:27:54] Dude, look at this. There's an article with like it's Tribune India.com, but they're logo just

[00:28:02] like looks like the New York Times logo. Yeah. I think it's probably just like a place where you

[00:28:08] can just pay for like articles to be written about your products. You can do that in the New York

[00:28:13] Times too, as long as the person paying is the CIA. Yeah, that's right, baby. That's right, baby.

[00:28:20] Yeah. Create a mochofy plant. It's crazy. I had this dumb facial hair now and I wear those

[00:28:26] fucking sunglasses and I guess I got into the bucket hats and I wasn't really trying to do

[00:28:31] anything. Intentionally, the pieces kind of came together separate. It's weird that if you just

[00:28:40] keep reading self-published Amazon books about the CIA, eventually you just turn into that kind of

[00:28:46] guy. Yeah, that guy. A gradient aviator mutton shop bucket hat guy. I didn't try. I don't know.

[00:28:54] I don't know how it works. It's just, I think it's part of being like an adult white man.

[00:28:59] Yeah. Yeah. I think like, you know, you have a 35% chance of that just naturally, correct?

[00:29:08] Yeah, if you're a Jew, the version of that is just getting really in designism.

[00:29:12] Yeah, they were turning into dogs. Or turning into dog.

[00:29:18] Yeah. I don't know. At the very end, he was like, I hope I passed my audition and I was like,

[00:29:24] yeah, you know, you get up off that casting couch and then he just does a fist and he's like,

[00:29:28] that was a real fight we just had. But I think it was the, like he was implying that he was fighting

[00:29:35] on behalf of the Me Too movement. But he was like, that's a very big fight. But he does this

[00:29:41] fist. Yeah. That's what I mean. They're just like, I think they're actors. Yeah. I think they

[00:29:47] did. They did. As a child of the 60s movement. But somehow it's like less repulsive to me than

[00:29:56] saying yikes on Twitter, you know, like that form of activism. Yeah. I'm kind of beyond judging

[00:30:04] anybody's behavior at this point. Yeah. You accept all children of God? No, I kind of just,

[00:30:12] I feel like I'm just channel surfing now, even with people.

[00:30:16] It's just fighting, you know, just,

[00:30:18] just, yeah. I don't really, let, let, uh, uh, waste your life and let waste. Right. Yeah.

[00:30:29] Yeah. You should get a remote like, uh, in the movie, click. What is that about? This is Adam

[00:30:35] Sandler. It's pretty sad. You should. I got a remote. Yeah. I got a remote with me. I'm Sandler.

[00:30:43] Hello, mother. Hello, father. Here I am.

[00:30:51] Camp Grandlata. Marjis Misha. Camp Granada. Great job. Yeah. Pretty funny. Yeah.

[00:31:01] Hello, mother. Hello, father. Hello, penis. Hello, vagina. No, no more than.

[00:31:08] No, dude. We're fucking mature. Yeah. We do real songs. We have all these guys saying,

[00:31:12] I'm gay to us all the time. That's our fault. Yeah. I want them saying now is ain't nobody.

[00:31:18] It loves me better. Good God. Yeah. Actually.

[00:31:27] No, every judge from his fourth, we do the songs correctly. We do the songs.

[00:31:33] Yeah. It's not cool to change the words anymore, guys. What a fool believes.

[00:31:38] What a fool believes. He came from somewhere back in a long ago.

[00:31:46] This was I don't know the lyrics. We got to get a medal for all the citron to recreate one hand yet to be creative.

[00:31:57] Was it a lie?

[00:31:59] Yeah.

[00:32:04] Nobody knows me.

[00:32:09] The second time around. We got to get we got to get back to get us fucking.

[00:32:15] What was that? What did I just do at the end? There was that that fucking theme song from step by step.

[00:32:20] Step by step. Second time around. What song ends that way?

[00:32:29] The second time around.

[00:32:35] I have no idea what song that is. Step by step was step by step day by day.

[00:32:40] Step by step day by day day by day. Yeah, they had a roller coaster of the credits.

[00:32:47] Another step and look out. Do this more steps.

[00:32:51] There's another step here comes another step. We keep on stepping.

[00:32:58] The second time around.

[00:33:02] That's so good. Is that right? Yeah, let's fact check. Let's do it.

[00:33:06] I like it.

[00:33:09] Wow, your big song.

[00:33:28] Be the future, be the cause, do you want it?

[00:33:33] Will there ever be a second time around?

[00:33:38] Will there ever be a second time around?

[00:33:43] What does a lyric says?

[00:33:44] That's how to come morbid.

[00:33:45] Is it about a divorce or something?

[00:33:47] Yeah.

[00:33:49] Wait, there, there a second.

[00:33:50] It's a second marriage.

[00:33:52] I was about to kill myself.

[00:33:53] After I got posted from my secretary and my wife left.

[00:33:57] Yeah.

[00:33:58] Step by step, day by day.

[00:34:05] This is, I don't know.

[00:34:07] No, this is the new kids on the box.

[00:34:10] Step by step theme song.

[00:34:14] Lyrics is step by step theme song.

[00:34:16] Step by step.

[00:34:17] Okay, we know that part.

[00:34:18] Hey girl, in your eyes, I see a picture of me.

[00:34:21] What the fuck?

[00:34:22] These are not the lyrics I just heard.

[00:34:23] When I'm going on.

[00:34:29] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[00:34:30] The dream got broken.

[00:34:32] Seems like I was lost.

[00:34:35] What would be the future?

[00:34:36] Could you pay the cost?

[00:34:37] Do you wonder, will there ever be a second time around?

[00:34:39] This is like Metallica lyrics.

[00:34:44] And nothing else.

[00:34:46] Oh, oh, oh, oh, when the tears are over.

[00:34:52] And the moment has come, say, my lord, I think I found someone.

[00:34:57] Ain't nobody loved me better to be putting them together.

[00:35:00] I don't think that's right.

[00:35:01] For the second time around.

[00:35:04] We got the woman and man.

[00:35:06] We got the kids on our clan.

[00:35:08] Only town.

[00:35:09] In the clan.

[00:35:10] We got the kids in the clan.

[00:35:13] If all these dreams fit under one umbrella.

[00:35:16] Step by step, day by day.

[00:35:18] First start over, different day of the play.

[00:35:19] But we fall, the stronger we stay, and we'll be better.

[00:35:22] The second time around.

[00:35:24] That's the only part I remember.

[00:35:26] The second time around part.

[00:35:27] The second time around.

[00:35:30] So they can't wait.

[00:35:31] Clan is spelled with a C.

[00:35:33] And clan is spelled with a C.

[00:35:34] But in the KKK, they spelled with a K.

[00:35:36] They're like, oh, that was like, because they're blood.

[00:35:38] Is it corn?

[00:35:39] They're blood.

[00:35:40] They're blood.

[00:35:40] They're like, oh, because they're bloods.

[00:35:42] Yeah.

[00:35:42] Yeah.

[00:35:44] The BBB.

[00:35:48] The blue blucks, the plan.

[00:35:51] Happy effortlessly.

[00:35:53] That's the way it was.

[00:35:56] Something done by my body.

[00:35:59] Second time around.

[00:36:01] Yeah.

[00:36:02] Yeah.

[00:36:07] Ain't nobody.

[00:36:08] Nobody.

[00:36:09] Step by step.

[00:36:12] What the fuck were we talking about?

[00:36:14] It's hermit crab season, everybody.

[00:36:19] Should I get into hermit crabs?

[00:36:22] Adam, should I get into hermit crabs?

[00:36:24] Yeah, they're a lot like you.

[00:36:25] But you know what I want to do is every wall of my apartment

[00:36:29] put that net and let them live on the walls.

[00:36:33] Living art.

[00:36:34] What do you mean?

[00:36:35] What kind of net?

[00:36:36] There's something that they love climbing.

[00:36:40] Oh, yeah?

[00:36:40] Yeah.

[00:36:41] Well, I guess they're trying to escape a cage.

[00:36:44] Yeah.

[00:36:45] Don't they live underwater?

[00:36:47] Oh, they love climbing.

[00:36:49] No, they're in a cage.

[00:36:50] They're trying to get out of with their dumb little lobster

[00:36:53] brain.

[00:36:54] Yeah.

[00:36:55] Well, yeah, the hermit crabs people have in schools, right?

[00:37:00] Hermit crabs are basically in prison for being gay.

[00:37:03] For not having friends?

[00:37:04] Well, not for being not having friends.

[00:37:06] But like, let's say a hermit crab, if that was just like a

[00:37:09] little like shitty little lobster shit at the bottom of the ocean

[00:37:13] just eating fish.

[00:37:15] It would be ever free to do that.

[00:37:17] But because it was like, ooh, I'm going to be fancy.

[00:37:20] I'm like, I'm going to put a shell on.

[00:37:22] Yeah.

[00:37:23] Ooh, I'm going to try wearing one of these shells.

[00:37:27] I'm going to change my outfit.

[00:37:28] Well, in prison, these things.

[00:37:29] And then the minute they think they're facing freedom,

[00:37:32] no, now they have a new warden who's a four-year-old.

[00:37:36] That wants to see how fucking hard that shell is.

[00:37:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:37:40] Yeah.

[00:37:42] Poor guys.

[00:37:43] Some kid, they's getting an impulse by the beach.

[00:37:46] And he's about to fucking destroy.

[00:37:49] They're close if you thought it were worth it.

[00:37:51] It's sort of a metaphor, really, the hermit crab.

[00:37:53] The hermit crab is the one that wears different.

[00:37:56] They change their clothes, right?

[00:37:57] The hermit crab is Icarus, basically.

[00:37:59] They wanted to overpower their station in life, which is

[00:38:03] being a little bottom feeder piece of shit.

[00:38:06] And which they had freedom.

[00:38:07] And get into outfits.

[00:38:09] But the hermit crab decided, I'm

[00:38:12] too good for this.

[00:38:13] I'm going to put this fancy shell on, which is not a product

[00:38:17] of me.

[00:38:19] It's not my art.

[00:38:20] I didn't do anything.

[00:38:21] I found this fucking thing.

[00:38:22] I'm going to put it on.

[00:38:24] And now what do you got some going on?

[00:38:26] No, I was just seeing, apparently, just all these

[00:38:31] publications just let you buy articles.

[00:38:34] The Washington City paper apparently has one.

[00:38:36] Apparently, we do this for the Adam Freelen show.

[00:38:38] No.

[00:38:38] Let's do it.

[00:38:39] Yeah, we could do advertorials.

[00:38:40] We should start doing it.

[00:38:41] They're always from India to Outlook India.

[00:38:43] Super-specialistic creative products review.

[00:38:45] I'm going to have journalists there.

[00:38:47] They're all doctors.

[00:38:47] Washington City paper.

[00:38:49] That's like the old weekly in DC.

[00:38:51] Journalists is the lowest.

[00:38:52] That's like an untouchable job in India.

[00:38:54] It's beneath the untouchable cast.

[00:38:56] Yeah.

[00:38:57] Could they, Indian people hate the news.

[00:38:59] That's great.

[00:38:59] Honestly, I kind of look free.

[00:39:01] Yeah.

[00:39:02] I kind of like that.

[00:39:03] Like lying on media.

[00:39:05] Like the lying on media.

[00:39:07] They lying fake news media.

[00:39:08] You're like the lying on media.

[00:39:12] You're lying.

[00:39:14] You're lying.

[00:39:16] Why would I read this?

[00:39:18] Why did I read this?

[00:39:19] I'm bad.

[00:39:20] Why you write this crap?

[00:39:22] I want to go to India.

[00:39:22] I bet it's cool as shit.

[00:39:24] It seems like hot.

[00:39:26] Well, I mean.

[00:39:28] Mad people go during the summer.

[00:39:29] A lot of spices in the air.

[00:39:32] Do they have fucked up?

[00:39:33] I know they got monkeys, but do they have fucked up bugs there?

[00:39:36] Probably.

[00:39:37] Yeah.

[00:39:38] Fucked up snakes.

[00:39:39] I thought India was chill on wildlife.

[00:39:41] Like they have dangerous stuff, but it's like tigers or, you know, stuff that's cool.

[00:39:45] I would not mind being killed by a tiger.

[00:39:48] I mean, it's not ideal, obviously.

[00:39:49] But like a scorpion.

[00:39:51] No chance.

[00:39:52] Yeah, bug.

[00:39:53] That's some dumb thing hiding and waiting.

[00:39:55] Yeah.

[00:39:56] Something that wanted to live in my shoe.

[00:39:58] The harmic crab, even.

[00:40:00] That's what they are.

[00:40:02] They're bugs.

[00:40:03] I hate scorpions.

[00:40:04] You hate scorpions?

[00:40:05] I'm glad we encased them in hot glue and give them the children also.

[00:40:09] They're not scorpion.

[00:40:11] They're like, well, I don't want to be a fucking, I don't want to be a land lobster.

[00:40:16] I'm going to be pointy.

[00:40:17] It's cool that scorpions can commit suicide.

[00:40:19] Can they?

[00:40:20] I think so.

[00:40:21] Don't they take their stingers to their own heads?

[00:40:23] I think they do.

[00:40:24] By accident.

[00:40:25] Oh, really?

[00:40:26] Yeah.

[00:40:27] Not because they're like, I'm fucking sick of this.

[00:40:28] Yeah.

[00:40:29] Again, yeah, they're like, I'm going to try out yoga.

[00:40:32] I'm getting into yoga.

[00:40:34] Eric, I don't know if that's a good idea.

[00:40:37] I don't think we're supposed to be doing yoga.

[00:40:40] I think that's for people.

[00:40:41] Scorpio.

[00:40:42] Yeah.

[00:40:43] Well, I'm going to try it out.

[00:40:44] I want to do something different.

[00:40:45] I'm tired of stinging stuff all the time.

[00:40:47] I'm tired of just going around desert stinging things.

[00:40:51] I want to expand my horizons.

[00:40:53] I'm going to try yoga.

[00:40:55] I don't feel too good.

[00:40:58] Come on, Eric.

[00:40:59] I think we should go to the hospital and do what?

[00:41:03] I'm going to tell them I'm hurt squirpy and I can't even speak English.

[00:41:06] They're not.

[00:41:07] I'm a little bug.

[00:41:10] They're going to help you have health insurance.

[00:41:14] You're out of your mind.

[00:41:15] I'm just going to try to do more yoga and see if I feel better.

[00:41:18] Ouch.

[00:41:19] It's yoga hurts, but I think it's good.

[00:41:23] Eric, you're hurting yourself.

[00:41:25] Eric, you're really messing yourself up.

[00:41:29] You got to stop doing all that yoga.

[00:41:30] You're stinging yourself in the dying head.

[00:41:32] Why is Southern Gay funnier?

[00:41:36] I don't know.

[00:41:38] It is funnier, though.

[00:41:39] It's funnier when it's a little gay.

[00:41:41] You just squirp in.

[00:41:42] Yeah.

[00:41:43] No, I think Southern Gay just...

[00:41:44] Eric, you've been hanging out with that Hermit crab too much.

[00:41:46] I don't like him.

[00:41:47] Why?

[00:41:48] Because he's gay.

[00:41:49] No, because he's been to prison.

[00:41:52] Because he's always in prison.

[00:41:55] Human all of his friends are in prison constantly.

[00:41:57] They're on on new outfits.

[00:42:03] They're in there doing musical theater in prison.

[00:42:06] I don't want that for you.

[00:42:08] We should be out here in the desert stinging stuff.

[00:42:12] Oh, they're looking for their hiring.

[00:42:15] Who?

[00:42:16] The Scorpius?

[00:42:17] Super-spess.

[00:42:18] Oh.

[00:42:19] We're doing my super-spess here.

[00:42:20] I know.

[00:42:21] Who's next?

[00:42:22] Ridge Wallet, but we got some time.

[00:42:23] We do.

[00:42:24] Oh, no, we don't, actually.

[00:42:26] We're having too much fun, dude.

[00:42:29] Ridge Wallet, folks.

[00:42:31] We do have to get that lav mic things resolved because we were supposed to get free lav mics

[00:42:37] and then I guess it's not happening.

[00:42:39] So we need to make a little B&H trip.

[00:42:41] Wireless loves?

[00:42:42] Yes.

[00:42:43] Yeah, we need wireless loves.

[00:42:44] Yes.

[00:42:45] That's...

[00:42:46] We need that biocattery.

[00:42:47] Kind of expensive.

[00:42:48] How much are there?

[00:42:49] There are a lot, dude.

[00:42:51] Like how much?

[00:42:52] Well, we need four of them.

[00:42:54] You need to receive her.

[00:42:55] And then, yeah, we need all the auto.

[00:42:56] We need like...

[00:42:57] How much is that?

[00:42:58] I don't know.

[00:42:59] I'll be like $20,000?

[00:43:00] That was a...

[00:43:01] No way.

[00:43:02] Perfor microphones?

[00:43:03] Those lav mics are fucking expensive.

[00:43:06] Like the ones I had people recommend.

[00:43:07] I don't know.

[00:43:08] All the Dave figure...

[00:43:09] I mean, I've asked Dave to figure it out numerous times.

[00:43:11] I shouldn't be figuring out any of this shit.

[00:43:13] Where is Dave?

[00:43:14] I should be going on vacation every two weeks.

[00:43:16] I know.

[00:43:17] Dude, now you're getting tight again.

[00:43:19] You had that vacation glow and now it's just like...

[00:43:21] It's completely disappeared off your face.

[00:43:23] Well, I need to also spitefully not be like hiring people.

[00:43:26] And then they fuck up and being like, well, I told you so.

[00:43:29] I went, Dave, didn't get the footage over.

[00:43:33] Yeah, not my fucking problem.

[00:43:34] Yeah, that's what I told you on the phone.

[00:43:36] Yeah.

[00:43:37] I was like, dude, we didn't...

[00:43:38] Like, Steven didn't get the footage.

[00:43:39] So Tuesday noon.

[00:43:40] No, I had like...

[00:43:41] Something just flipped over the last like three weeks.

[00:43:44] I don't know.

[00:43:45] I like you better this way.

[00:43:46] I had like an office space like hypnotism kind of thing happening.

[00:43:50] Dude, I'm...

[00:43:51] You're not being super stressed out all the time.

[00:43:53] It's way better.

[00:43:54] I'm just sure that fun.

[00:43:55] I don't care if the show's good, bad.

[00:43:56] I don't give a fuck where it makes money.

[00:43:59] The Ridge Wallet.

[00:44:00] They launched the Ridge Wallet with a simple belief that we can make wallets better.

[00:44:04] Two kick stars in nine years and over two million wallets later, they're still starting...

[00:44:08] Where are we?

[00:44:11] Oh, they're still starting every day with the same mentality.

[00:44:15] Only now it's to improve all the items that you carry every day.

[00:44:19] So their approach is wallets for too long were designed to hold everything.

[00:44:23] Beats, gift cards, anything else that you can stuff in there.

[00:44:27] They turned that on its head with their minimalist...

[00:44:30] Oh, so carry less and live more.

[00:44:35] Guys, here they have fucking little cases for your keys, wallets, pens, and backpacks,

[00:44:43] duffel bags.

[00:44:44] They got a bunch of good fucking shit that you can use.

[00:44:47] And they're made out of fucking metal.

[00:44:50] The same metal that guns are made out of.

[00:44:53] And steel.

[00:44:55] Titanium, aluminum.

[00:44:58] Guys, this shit is good.

[00:45:00] Damascus, what's Damascus?

[00:45:04] This is their homage to the iconic forged steel material made with medical grade 304

[00:45:09] stainless steel and their unique chemical etching process.

[00:45:14] Experience the look and durability of Damascus without the upkeep.

[00:45:18] What is Damascus?

[00:45:20] Damascus and fucking Syria?

[00:45:24] They have a 24K gold wallet, which is made from real gold, a special edition, fashion,

[00:45:32] inspired design is an ideal balance of luxury and minimalism without the compromise.

[00:45:35] Guys, here's the deal.

[00:45:37] They've taken their innovative design and material approach to create products that you

[00:45:41] rely on.

[00:45:42] The items you carry every day are your tools for better living.

[00:45:45] Make them something you can count on with ragewall.com.

[00:45:51] What else do we have?

[00:45:52] So they have wallets, key cases.

[00:45:54] They have kits, which are bundles with wallets and key cases.

[00:45:57] They have rings built to last a lifetime, much like your love.

[00:46:04] They have watches.

[00:46:05] Guys, they just have good fucking shit.

[00:46:08] And you got to trust us on that.

[00:46:11] Holiday season is coming up.

[00:46:13] You got a dad.

[00:46:14] You don't have much in common with him.

[00:46:15] Why don't you get him a fucking pen?

[00:46:17] I've got my dad a pen before.

[00:46:18] He really liked it.

[00:46:21] Base camp orange.

[00:46:22] They have a limited edition base camp orange wallet, key sand and pen.

[00:46:26] Guys, it's good shit.

[00:46:28] And guess what?

[00:46:29] Nick and I use the commuter pack every day.

[00:46:31] Isn't that right Nick?

[00:46:32] Yeah, we used it all the time.

[00:46:33] I wound up on a hermit crab forum.

[00:46:35] Okay.

[00:46:36] What's that say?

[00:46:37] So go to ridgewell.com.

[00:46:38] promo code come down, come down 20 taps, whatever the fucking is.

[00:46:41] You'll get a discount.

[00:46:42] A lot of this shit is on sale right now on their website.

[00:46:44] If you look it up.

[00:46:47] So every day carry is an all encompassing phase for the essential items you take with you

[00:46:51] on a daily basis and use for specific tasks.

[00:46:55] So guys, this is a gear that you use every fucking day.

[00:46:58] Go to ridge.com.

[00:47:01] Put in promo code comes down, comes down 20 taps or whatever the fuck it is.

[00:47:05] And if you order by December 18th, you get it will be delivered by the 25th fuck.

[00:47:12] Is that true for everything you think?

[00:47:14] I haven't gotten any Christmas presents for anyone.

[00:47:18] Fuck I just realized this.

[00:47:19] I've already done most of my Christmas show.

[00:47:21] Really?

[00:47:22] Yeah, it's already done.

[00:47:23] What should I get?

[00:47:24] I got to get prepared to do this big tax payment at the beginning of the year.

[00:47:27] Make sure that the gifts are taken care of, less die, owe money and government gets paid

[00:47:36] last.

[00:47:37] Yeah, yeah.

[00:47:38] Make sure everybody else, everybody else gets theirs first.

[00:47:41] Merry Christmas.

[00:47:42] Merry fuck you, Joe Biden.

[00:47:44] Fuck you, Joe Biden.

[00:47:45] What's the Hermit crab form saying?

[00:47:47] It's great.

[00:47:48] That the emergency health advice section.

[00:47:50] What does it say?

[00:47:51] It's just people being like, she's out of her shell.

[00:47:54] What do I do?

[00:47:56] Help injured hermit crab.

[00:47:58] There's somebody named Curly sister who has multiple posts on here.

[00:48:04] One post help injured hermit crab.

[00:48:07] Another one is hermit crab malted underground without shell and the other crab took her

[00:48:11] shell.

[00:48:12] If another post crab deaths.

[00:48:15] I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

[00:48:18] That was a whole story.

[00:48:21] Here's another one from the same.

[00:48:22] This is all the same person naked crab with black lump on its side.

[00:48:27] Jesus Christ.

[00:48:28] Yeah.

[00:48:29] Both my crabs are currently underground before going underground.

[00:48:32] Grape had been shell shopping and recently fell twice climbing into the moss pit.

[00:48:37] He seemed to fall shell first, so I wasn't super worried.

[00:48:39] But this morning as I was running out the door for church, I saw a little window on the

[00:48:44] ground by the glass.

[00:48:46] There he was, but he was naked.

[00:48:48] I was already late, so I couldn't do anything until I got home.

[00:48:51] When I got home, this made me sad.

[00:48:54] Hearing about the crab dying?

[00:48:55] Yeah, just this woman and her little bugs, her little bug animals are fucking probably

[00:49:02] fine.

[00:49:03] You know, she's just telling them that they're sick?

[00:49:05] Yeah.

[00:49:06] Well, they're imprisoned.

[00:49:07] And by lady that likes bugs stuff, trying to figure out they're just watching the scorpion

[00:49:15] kill itself and living in jealousy.

[00:49:18] I want to watch a video now of a scorpion committing suicide.

[00:49:22] The fancy crab that's put itself in a beautiful prison watching the scorpion kill himself

[00:49:27] with vinyasa yoga.

[00:49:29] What are you doing?

[00:49:33] Oh, it's when they're surrounded by fire.

[00:49:36] Dude, this woman posts constantly new hermit crab on top of substrate hasn't moved.

[00:49:46] Hermit crab smells fishy and won't come out of shell crab trying to eat the other crab

[00:49:51] while molting help new crab dead from stress fight or molting update crab won't go in a

[00:49:59] shell.

[00:50:00] Hermit crab death.

[00:50:01] My hermit crab is having extremely difficult and traumatic malts seems totally lifeless

[00:50:05] now.

[00:50:06] Substrate dry and while crabs molted they just post this is like they just post constantly.

[00:50:11] Jesus, hermit crab problems.

[00:50:14] What's her name?

[00:50:15] Meran curly sister.

[00:50:19] Hermit crab virtually immobile listless.

[00:50:22] This poor lady.

[00:50:25] My hermit crab Luis is virtually immobile and that she obviously these are multiple.

[00:50:30] Elise.

[00:50:31] She's going through hermit crabs and killing them at an alarming rate.

[00:50:36] First of all lady, these are meant for children.

[00:50:39] They're for babies.

[00:50:40] They're for side like third grade classrooms.

[00:50:43] Yeah.

[00:50:44] Luis is virtually immobile.

[00:50:45] What started from a sluggishness and seemingly broken disjointed leg gradually led into this

[00:50:50] is just Kathy Bates and Mrs. Rice.

[00:50:52] She just keeps sitting on me.

[00:50:53] She's like, I just love hermit crab.

[00:50:56] Breaking their legs.

[00:50:58] She has much housings by crab.

[00:51:00] Yeah.

[00:51:01] By hermit crab.

[00:51:02] I'm not even kidding.

[00:51:03] I bet this lady is just fucking breaking these little guys legs.

[00:51:07] Yeah, she's just sleeping in bed with them rolling over on them.

[00:51:13] She lost.

[00:51:14] She probably, you know what happens?

[00:51:15] She lost a baby.

[00:51:17] She had a miscarriage and then she got cheated on.

[00:51:19] Yeah.

[00:51:20] And now she's all alone.

[00:51:22] She's alive a thousand percent.

[00:51:24] She just doesn't move and sits out of her shell, not tucked in whatsoever.

[00:51:28] She has no drive to find a hiding spot or rest or dig under anything.

[00:51:33] I've popped her in a coconut or partially covered with moss and she scootches off and

[00:51:38] just hangs out in the wide open tank.

[00:51:41] A few days ago I lost track of her and I saw a hole and I believe she had burned under.

[00:51:45] Yesterday I saw her standing on the bridge to my water dish, completely shellless.

[00:51:51] I thought she had sat there and died.

[00:51:53] I grabbed a couple of shells because I figured the one she was in must have been heavy.

[00:51:58] I left them in front of her, pumped a humidity and tried and true trick, has always worked

[00:52:03] when convincing her miss to get back in the shells.

[00:52:06] And then I had to leave to go pick up my little sister from school.

[00:52:09] I came back and broke my little sister's legs.

[00:52:14] I came back and she was in a new shell.

[00:52:16] Thank God.

[00:52:17] But again, just sitting there, only slightly tucked in when I came around but never fully.

[00:52:22] The shell isn't too small.

[00:52:24] It's the perfect size.

[00:52:25] And she's an E.

[00:52:27] So if it was small, it wouldn't even have cup sizes.

[00:52:30] Yeah.

[00:52:31] It's a bit like tints.

[00:52:33] Even if it's tints, basically.

[00:52:35] No, that's what I like to have, mate.

[00:52:39] There's an old cage in my living room filled with pet tints.

[00:52:42] Do you imagine that?

[00:52:44] You might come up and I say, you've got to be there.

[00:52:47] What you got there?

[00:52:48] What happened to your omic crabs?

[00:52:50] Urimate.

[00:52:51] What happened to your omic crabs?

[00:52:52] I saw a swot mount for pet tints.

[00:52:54] You don't have to feed them, they don't have to do anything.

[00:52:57] They just might mute.

[00:52:58] You suck on them.

[00:52:59] It's like being a beekeeper but trying to get stung.

[00:53:03] You don't have to worry about getting stung.

[00:53:07] I said I've added with the omic crabs.

[00:53:09] I don't want them anymore.

[00:53:10] They do his pinch me.

[00:53:12] I go in there to apply with them and they pinch me.

[00:53:16] And then when I go to smash them, they run back into shells.

[00:53:19] And I said, what am I doing this?

[00:53:21] What am I doing this to myself?

[00:53:22] I'd rather have a big wall of tints in here.

[00:53:27] That would be a nice, heavy case.

[00:53:29] Or a tank full of tints.

[00:53:31] No.

[00:53:32] Yeah.

[00:53:33] I think.

[00:53:34] A tank full of anything, honestly.

[00:53:37] That's true.

[00:53:38] You see how much petrol is, these days?

[00:53:40] These days.

[00:53:41] I know.

[00:53:42] We've got an empty tank here and in the air.

[00:53:45] And air.

[00:53:46] And in my heart.

[00:53:47] And air.

[00:53:48] All of me tanks, empty.

[00:53:49] All your tanks.

[00:53:50] Every single one, brother.

[00:53:55] It's weird to think that the balls are like little tanks in there.

[00:53:58] They are little cum tanks.

[00:53:59] Yeah.

[00:54:00] You think when you're not, each one of the shots comes from one of the balls.

[00:54:04] They alternate.

[00:54:05] It's like bow, bow, bow, bow, bow.

[00:54:08] Yeah, it's true.

[00:54:09] What happens?

[00:54:10] They just shoot simultaneously.

[00:54:12] Imagine that's how it would look when goofy the dog boss.

[00:54:16] Because one ball goes up.

[00:54:18] It is very steamship, Willie.

[00:54:21] It is very, very early animation to imagine two balls, a skeething and alternate pattern.

[00:54:30] It's very steampunk way to imagine it.

[00:54:32] Yeah.

[00:54:33] I would imagine that's why Ernest Emmingway.

[00:54:39] Ernest Emmingway would do it.

[00:54:41] Yeah.

[00:54:42] They add h's to things that don't have h's.

[00:54:45] You know, I love his Ernest Emmingway.

[00:54:47] Yeah, you know how they say the letter H?

[00:54:49] No, I love sesame.

[00:54:51] They say H.

[00:54:52] Grover, cookie monster, big bird.

[00:54:57] Er, her knee.

[00:54:59] Her knee.

[00:55:00] Bird, bird, bird.

[00:55:02] I love bird.

[00:55:04] Bird.

[00:55:05] Yeah, because bird is a smart one.

[00:55:10] And her knee.

[00:55:11] It's a smart one.

[00:55:12] And her knee.

[00:55:13] It's an invalid.

[00:55:14] Yeah.

[00:55:15] Her knee's a...

[00:55:16] Er, they said he's got...

[00:55:18] A condition.

[00:55:19] He's got cruise on syndrome.

[00:55:21] What's that?

[00:55:22] He's got a C8 too much of Thatcher's paint and he's got cruise ons.

[00:55:26] I was there from lead paint?

[00:55:28] Oh, no, I'm there.

[00:55:31] Erm, that's so fun.

[00:55:36] Isn't...

[00:55:37] Not really.

[00:55:38] I just say that.

[00:55:39] It's been equipped with clean, brand new substrate deep enough to bury herself.

[00:55:43] A small water dish you can fully submerge in.

[00:55:45] A few pieces of moss for extra humidity in case it gets dry.

[00:55:49] A food dish with extra powdery food and tons of calcium supplements sprinkled on.

[00:55:54] And the top it all off, it's located in a prime spot right next to the heater and humidifier.

[00:55:58] Damn, this girl's crazy.

[00:56:03] Poor girl.

[00:56:05] She don't know how to take care of her little bucks.

[00:56:09] She sucks, dude.

[00:56:10] You don't like her?

[00:56:11] Yeah, she's kind of like better hobby.

[00:56:14] You can't feel bad for this lady.

[00:56:16] You can't find her in your heart to feel you.

[00:56:18] You got to be a TV host, man.

[00:56:21] You can't be too cool for school.

[00:56:23] I would like to have someone like that.

[00:56:25] Like a person with that boring of an interest on the show one week.

[00:56:29] Why?

[00:56:30] Like, yeah, Richard Gere and then he'll stay on the stage and we'll have someone like that.

[00:56:35] Crap leaving shell.

[00:56:37] Emergency.

[00:56:38] Oh my God.

[00:56:39] Last post by Nicole Getts Creative.

[00:56:42] What'd she say?

[00:56:43] Nicole Getts Creative.

[00:56:44] Hi, my name is Nicole.

[00:56:46] I post on the Hermit crab forum.

[00:56:49] It's all girls.

[00:56:50] The username, yeah.

[00:56:51] Hermit crab is a girl hobby.

[00:56:52] I think so, yeah.

[00:56:54] Wow, I didn't know.

[00:56:58] Last time my small crab took a dip in the saltwater pool this morning, I found him out

[00:57:01] of his shell and still in the pool.

[00:57:03] He was able to safely scoop him up and put him on dry land.

[00:57:06] I wanted to get fresh shells for him, but he got in a new larger shell before I got back.

[00:57:12] I left him alone when I went to check on him the second time.

[00:57:14] He had climbed out of the shell, moved all the way across the tank and landed in the

[00:57:17] fresh water.

[00:57:18] I thought he had drowned, but he didn't.

[00:57:20] I put him in a Tupperware with some chlorinated water.

[00:57:24] Put two clean shells in there, a larger flat-sea shell with some middleworms and a piece of

[00:57:30] cuddlefish bone.

[00:57:32] After an hour, he put himself in one of the shells, but I'm so afraid he will leave it

[00:57:36] again and hurt himself.

[00:57:38] What should I do here?

[00:57:41] There's no answers for him.

[00:57:46] This is my Krabby lover 77.

[00:57:49] Hermit crab has three legs and no claws.

[00:57:52] I don't know what to do.

[00:57:54] Hopefully this is a fella.

[00:57:59] I just found one of my crabs only, three legs missing his claws.

[00:58:04] They prefer to be left alone, so I probably don't check on him as much as I should.

[00:58:07] The last time I looked at him, Monday or something, he was fine.

[00:58:11] I just refilled the food and water because I noticed the other crab came out of the molting.

[00:58:15] I don't make some of his food.

[00:58:18] I don't know what to do.

[00:58:28] There's people like, oh, give him a little peanut butter.

[00:58:35] His arms and legs got ripped off.

[00:58:37] Give him a little peanut butter.

[00:58:40] It's not even a brain.

[00:58:43] It's just two eyes and a shell.

[00:58:49] What is that?

[00:58:51] A snail?

[00:58:56] Those poor guys.

[00:58:57] Neemitodes and hermit crab tank.

[00:58:59] The people using all caps on the hermit crab form.

[00:59:03] There's never been a justify.

[00:59:06] Something less justified for all caps.

[00:59:09] It's posting on the hermit crab form.

[00:59:11] Oh, man.

[00:59:12] Those poor people.

[00:59:13] I have four PP and the 55 gallon tank was six to eight inches of cocoa slash sand substrate.

[00:59:19] The tank is kept in a humidity of 80 percent and temperature is 75 degrees Fahrenheit.

[00:59:24] I have two pools, fresh and salt.

[00:59:27] I'm reading it this way because the guy's name is East Coasty Ghosty.

[00:59:32] That's what I imagined.

[00:59:34] I was imagining a soft one.

[00:59:39] Shake out.

[00:59:42] I love shit like this, dude.

[00:59:48] I can spend an entire evening just reading through the hermit crab form.

[00:59:55] Just dead eyed.

[00:59:58] Yeah, naked crab.

[01:00:02] This is possible mites.

[01:00:05] Oh my God.

[01:00:08] This is bleak.

[01:00:11] All capital at the post itself.

[01:00:12] All capital letters too.

[01:00:14] Smallest crab is naked and out of shell possibly happened sometime between Saturday and today.

[01:00:19] I was off.

[01:00:20] When I inspected the shell, there were small red things crawling in it.

[01:00:24] I rinse the shell and the crab.

[01:00:25] The other crab seems to be okay, hiding in cocoa nut.

[01:00:29] Crab hasn't gone back in shell.

[01:00:35] Are people helpful?

[01:00:36] No.

[01:00:37] Every time they're like try giving them some food.

[01:00:42] Try giving them party pool of water.

[01:00:45] Give them what?

[01:00:48] Yeah.

[01:00:49] Thanks guys.

[01:00:50] Oh my God.

[01:00:52] That's fucking dark, bro.

[01:00:53] I'm going to go to another section on this one because this is all emergencies.

[01:00:58] Adopions.

[01:00:59] If you have a crab that needs rehomed, now that's a great way to get murdered.

[01:01:03] It's been looking for a crab on the hermit crab form and meeting up with many people

[01:01:08] and fucking a contilage off the highway.

[01:01:11] Oh my God.

[01:01:12] I'm going to purchase crabs from a man I met online.

[01:01:16] On Craigslist?

[01:01:17] Yeah.

[01:01:19] Crab attack conditions crab behavior.

[01:01:21] This is the one I want to see.

[01:01:26] Crabs on dig is something wrong.

[01:01:29] Tips on introducing the crab.

[01:01:30] Really worried.

[01:01:31] Just heard one of my crabs chirp.

[01:01:36] Back right in front.

[01:01:37] I have four crabs and had them almost two months now.

[01:01:38] There's one big one, a bit larger than a ping pong ball in a shell.

[01:01:42] Two medium sized ones.

[01:01:43] Half to size is the big one and one tiny one.

[01:01:46] Half to size is the medium one.

[01:01:48] I have them in a reptile one RTF 900 that I've turned into a two story setup due to the substrate

[01:01:53] being deep.

[01:01:54] I wanted them to also have lots of climbing things.

[01:01:56] The largest one looks to have had a successful malt.

[01:02:05] I was just sitting reading next to the habitat and I heard very quiet but unmistakable chirping.

[01:02:11] Exactly like the video's recordings.

[01:02:12] At first I was so excited because I figured they'd be so quiet I'd never hear them.

[01:02:16] Then I got worried because I've read it can mean they're trapped slash attacked.

[01:02:23] I've had malters get loud seemingly and random.

[01:02:25] These things fucking scream.

[01:02:27] My crab is a great post but this is by Krabby Grammy.

[01:02:33] The title is Interesting Night of Crab Watching.

[01:02:36] Okay.

[01:02:37] Let's hear about that.

[01:02:39] There's zero replies before I hear no one's replied.

[01:02:51] So there was a squabble last night over a Myrtle's discarded shell.

[01:02:55] Ian had moved into it after Myrtle took a new shell but she apparently still had some

[01:03:00] attachment issues with it.

[01:03:02] They both repeatedly checked out all ten shells in the shell shop over and over again.

[01:03:08] At one point they squared off and both took a ninja stance and tussled for a few seconds

[01:03:13] before going their own ways.

[01:03:15] Myrtle came back and started rolling in around like a ball while he was tucked inside.

[01:03:20] She rolled him faced up, climbed on top of him and peed on him.

[01:03:24] I saw a stream of water come out of her shell directly on Ian and down his shell.

[01:03:28] How rude of that was that LOL.

[01:03:31] They're both the same size so I'm not worried about that.

[01:03:34] Ian doesn't seem to be afraid of her and they both took turns eating and drinking after

[01:03:38] the argument.

[01:03:39] I noticed this morning that Ian has taken his old shell back so maybe he's decided it's

[01:03:43] not worth it.

[01:03:45] I never knew how entertaining these guys can be to watch.

[01:03:48] I just wish they'd do it before 3am.

[01:03:57] That's awesome.

[01:03:58] That's awesome.

[01:04:00] Yeah.

[01:04:01] These poor people just reaching out into a void.

[01:04:10] Like having this hobby because they don't have other people in their lives and then going

[01:04:14] on this forum to make contact with other people that are also don't have anyone in their life.

[01:04:18] They probably do have other people.

[01:04:20] They're probably relatively normal people.

[01:04:22] You think?

[01:04:23] Yeah.

[01:04:24] They have an evening of crap watching.

[01:04:25] Yeah.

[01:04:26] These are people that are very easily amused by anything.

[01:04:28] Yeah, it's true.

[01:04:29] Like the normal, normal guys, they get like this over Marvel movies.

[01:04:34] Yeah, yeah.

[01:04:35] But these are the people that are like, they got chocolate chip cookies and Wendy's.

[01:04:41] Where do I tell everyone I know?

[01:04:43] And frankly, I'm jealous.

[01:04:45] Yeah, no, it sounds nice.

[01:04:48] You think they're probably pretty happy, I guess.

[01:04:52] What are you looking at?

[01:04:55] I'm just going to text.

[01:04:57] All right, from that lady of Virginia, Virginia who?

[01:05:01] Do you remember when I was on the phone with her?

[01:05:04] You're like, Oh, hello, Virginia.

[01:05:06] Oh, the insurance lady.

[01:05:08] Yeah.

[01:05:09] Yeah.

[01:05:10] Hello nurse.

[01:05:11] Hello, nurse.

[01:05:12] He was on speaker.

[01:05:14] Yeah, you were like, she was like, excuse me.

[01:05:17] Someone in the background right now.

[01:05:19] I was like, yeah, that's my.

[01:05:20] I got to figure out a way to get canceled for saying hello, nurse to a woman.

[01:05:24] Yeah.

[01:05:25] I feel like an office job or if I lie my way on to like a very serious film set and then

[01:05:31] just fun, just corner some PA.

[01:05:34] Yeah.

[01:05:35] Go, hello, nurse.

[01:05:36] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:05:39] And then, and then just let that story live.

[01:05:43] Just something like a TV, TMZ is saying, oh, she sued the production company because Mullen

[01:05:48] said hello, nurse.

[01:05:50] What is that for?

[01:05:53] Because it's from like World War II or something where the only shakes around were nurses.

[01:05:58] No, it's from Bug Biz Bonnie says.

[01:06:00] It's from cartoons.

[01:06:01] Yeah, I think it's just what bugs guys picked it up from a cartoon.

[01:06:05] It doesn't bug bugs.

[01:06:06] They call owners.

[01:06:07] I mean, it's like an old school thing to say to a bitch.

[01:06:10] Hello, no.

[01:06:12] Anyway, all right, we got a cool movie.

[01:06:15] Take a woman's pants off before you go down.

[01:06:18] Say hello, nurse.

[01:06:19] Yeah, you go well.

[01:06:20] How to the pussy to the pussy.

[01:06:23] Well, hello, no, hello, no, Tom Myers probably does that.

[01:06:29] I want to hear Tom Myers explain.

[01:06:31] What's the closest he's been to a pussy?

[01:06:33] I want Tom to explain.

[01:06:35] How to.

[01:06:36] It's probably a lot like him talking about trying pot.

[01:06:42] Yeah, I've tried.

[01:06:44] It's such a funny sentence.

[01:06:50] I've tried pot.

[01:06:51] Yeah, no, I told you the last time I got high, just walked around my apartment.

[01:06:55] I think the British are coming.

[01:06:57] I think the British are coming, dude.

[01:07:01] Just making myself die laughing.

[01:07:03] All right.

[01:07:04] These days you're going to die laughing.

[01:07:07] Yeah, we got to call you through.

[01:07:09] Oh, we have to call you through.

[01:07:10] Yeah.

[01:07:11] OK, but do you want to swing around and hit?

[01:07:12] Yeah, I'm going to turn it off.

[01:07:13] I'll stop on the whole record of DQ.

[01:07:16] Thanks, guys.

[01:07:17] Thanks for listening to the show.

[01:07:18] If you enjoy the Adam Fritley Show podcast, check out the Adam Friedland show itself at

[01:07:22] patreon.com slash T-A-F-S.