TAFS | Regular | 07/20/2022
[00:00:16] I got you so good. You just in my nozzle.
[00:00:32] That was probably the best thing I've ever done in my entire life.
[00:00:44] Alright, just stay calm so we can cut this promo.
[00:00:48] Okay, just do the promo. Is it still a shame?
[00:01:00] You know what I'm gonna throw up. You know Mars attacks?
[00:01:04] You know when the aliens wheeled the gun out to the old lady's head?
[00:01:32] Your Wednesday is hanging out with your best friends.
[00:01:40] Well, you had three friends in the world and now you're down to two.
[00:01:52] No, you've been remarkably nice the last couple of weeks. You've been nice now.
[00:01:56] You can't stand. What if I lose the book?
[00:02:04] Well, guess what, motherfuckers? There's a new...
[00:02:08] I gotta find another song. I didn't think about this. There's a new podcast.
[00:02:12] I like this song. And it's called the Adam Friedland Show.
[00:02:16] But the Adam Friedland Show is more than a podcast.
[00:02:20] We're making a TV show. Making a TV show, but it'll be more than a TV show.
[00:02:24] The problem is, is that we need general liability insurance.
[00:02:28] And we don't know what that is. And it's costing a lot of money to try and get it.
[00:02:32] And now we've paid $20,000 to rent a space
[00:02:38] that we can't move into. So what we need you to do is go to patreon.com
[00:02:42] slash comtown. If you've been stealing the show,
[00:02:46] maybe now consider that we have overhead.
[00:02:50] And we're gonna be spending a lot of money. And we're gonna...
[00:02:54] So we need you guys to support, but we're gonna... What you give, you're gonna get back
[00:02:58] in terms of things that we buy for the show.
[00:03:06] Assistance and stuff. When you're taking the consideration a lot of you think that
[00:03:14] He would be making five times as much if this were
[00:03:18] on HBO. And we're gonna make HBO look like a bunch of
[00:03:22] HOMOs with how good this fucking show is.
[00:03:26] Oh my god, I still smell it dude. Let's start this show.
[00:03:48] Ladies and gentlemen, the Adam Friedland show
[00:03:56] who's they emailed this... Did we get an email back?
[00:04:00] I got an email back. What they said. They said that he's
[00:04:06] For real? Yeah, he said I'm sorry. Simon has no
[00:04:10] time. He has no time. He has no time for the Adam Friedland. He said
[00:04:14] when I talk to him he said I will almost do it. He's like I'd almost do it.
[00:04:18] That's what he said. I was like what the fuck does almost mean.
[00:04:22] Well, folks, we're here today. We were gonna... we're gonna do
[00:04:26] another production meeting rather than an episode but that kind of... that kind of got off
[00:04:30] to a false start. We're dealing with a lot of shit right now in our business.
[00:04:34] We are dealing with... Don't say that. Not bad shit.
[00:04:38] We're dealing with a lot of, let's say bureaucracy. Actually, you know what I do?
[00:04:42] Red tape? Do it... I'm sorry for interjecting. Don't say that.
[00:04:46] Because if we can take... if Adam Friedland show is gonna take a more meta direction, maybe
[00:04:50] your frustrations that you're experiencing trying to get the ball rolling
[00:04:54] on. Like the studio and stuff for the business. Maybe we can explore
[00:04:58] that. Like what you as an artist struggle with in terms of the
[00:05:02] nuts and bolts stuff. Well, this is... yeah, exactly. Because a lot of art
[00:05:06] you think is just a guy on stage dressed in a clown costume.
[00:05:10] Yeah. Hurting his penis for the laughter.
[00:05:14] Massive of the masses. All he was peeling is
[00:05:18] small. Calling is a lot of that kind of stuff. Asking if anyone.
[00:05:26] So then, you know, you see the finished product, but what you don't
[00:05:30] see is you don't see the hundreds of people backstage making it
[00:05:34] happen. You don't see the... The insurance...
[00:05:38] The insurance claims adjuster. You don't see...
[00:05:42] The menoliel women from dating apps. You don't see
[00:05:50] the NDA's. The lawyer is responsible for
[00:05:54] the roommate responsible for Googling, Boiler, played NDA
[00:06:06] Because you saw that one should pelle sketch the love contract and you're like
[00:06:10] damn, I should be doing that too. You know, you don't see
[00:06:14] all of this. The therapist is there convincing you that
[00:06:18] this is a healthy lifestyle. Yeah. Just keep going.
[00:06:22] Yeah. You're on the right track. You're doing well. A guy that you
[00:06:26] pay $300 once a week. A sliding scale guy who moves
[00:06:30] the money up, the more money you make. So you can't tell him that you're doing
[00:06:34] well in your career. Yeah. That guy. So therefore
[00:06:38] the therapist is null and important. You don't see that guy. You don't see that.
[00:06:42] You don't see... Because it really... It's a team. Yeah.
[00:06:46] And a lot of that is just because you're physically blocking that whole time. Alright. I don't know.
[00:06:50] That's... You have a team. A lot of them are literally behind you holding
[00:06:54] you up. Right. In a lot of ways. I'm saying... There's
[00:06:58] basically hand-encaporation. There's two footprints and then there's
[00:07:02] one footprints. Yeah. That's how good. Yeah. I look down
[00:07:06] on the beach and I saw there was two sets of footprints. One very fat set.
[00:07:10] Like almost like a big foot or something.
[00:07:14] And these are the people that are behind the Amy Schumer
[00:07:18] live experience. Right. That's who we're talking about. We're talking about Amy Schumer.
[00:07:26] but those are cleared up. Now we squash the beef. She's not going to be coming on the pot to squash
[00:07:30] the beef. But the beef is officially squashed. Well I was talking
[00:07:34] to Simon Pegg's people a little bit. You know, unfortunately he's busy with
[00:07:38] mission. This is the kind of stuff we got to talk about. His people. They're going to love this. Because
[00:07:42] this is... producing is an art in and of itself. It's true. Sending
[00:07:46] emails. That's art. You know, I... maybe a lot of
[00:07:50] the younger listeners if you're millennials. The young millennial types.
[00:07:54] Yeah. You know, 14 year olds. Millennials.
[00:07:58] Millennials which are, you know, they're young people. Yeah. Age 29 to 47
[00:08:02] years old. They're young folks. I'm already getting 53
[00:08:06] year old. Millennials are young people. They're young people. Between the ages of
[00:08:10] 31 and 58. And they're having trouble adulting. And we're adult. Yeah.
[00:08:14] That's the big thing. And it's not our fault. It's because of the
[00:08:18] just because of the clay, the banks and car companies in 2008.
[00:08:22] And the tech something. And it's that's why
[00:08:26] tech guys. Yeah. That's why I work at a vegan grocery
[00:08:30] store. Mm hmm. And you know, my career is mostly
[00:08:34] staying up the date on day them stuff on social media. Yeah, exactly.
[00:08:42] You might be wondering like. And so, you know, yeah. It's like, you're
[00:08:46] struggling. You got student debt. You want it canceled. And we're going to get it
[00:08:50] canceled. Student debt's going to get canceled. And as soon as that student
[00:08:54] debt's out of the way, then it's then we're talking, then that's job time baby.
[00:08:58] Student debt's out of the way. You're one man show. Now career.
[00:09:02] Your one man show is the lights go up. You know?
[00:09:06] No more talking about opening a bicycle repair shop. Exactly.
[00:09:10] Now it's time to now you're going to be the manager of. Now you're going to be
[00:09:14] the boss. Yeah, you're going to be the boss. Yeah. And you've paid the cost
[00:09:18] to be the boss. Costs of the boss. So here's the
[00:09:26] the coast to be the most. You got if you won't be the boss, you got to pay the
[00:09:30] coast. Listen, that's an expression that
[00:09:34] yeah. So we're there's some bureaucratic red tape that we're figuring out right now.
[00:09:38] We've been on the phone talking to some people. Oh, I was going to say, I was
[00:09:42] going back and forth. Oh yeah. I'm your rep. You're my rep. I'm a producer
[00:09:46] and also agent superstar. I was talking with Simon pegs people.
[00:09:50] You're representing me. Yes. Yeah. And so
[00:09:54] me and we're both handlers. So we kind of speak a different language.
[00:09:58] Unfortunately, I was not able to get him on the show and he seems to think that I have a mental disability.
[00:10:06] based on the email that Simon pegs thinks Amy Schumer is a fat
[00:10:10] pig. Yeah. That's pretty fucked up. Tell me
[00:10:14] from wrong here because I don't think he would say that. He's I don't think he didn't say it
[00:10:18] per se, but he said hi Nick. I don't have any time with Simon at present as he's away with his family and then jumps straight back in the mission
[00:10:24] impossible. Sorry we can't help at this time. Best wishes.
[00:10:28] Can't help. Yeah. Like he's helping us. Well, he will. No,
[00:10:32] we would be helping him. Okay. He said Simon as he's away with his family.
[00:10:37] As he is. That's like that. Like he's away with his family. Which is like, you know, what's the point of mentioning that, I mean, we're
[00:10:42] all professionals. You could say he's busy. You could say no. And that's right away with his family. Yeah, it's sort of a dig.
[00:10:48] We're a single man. Well, Amy Schumer who's you know, she's like taking a break to be with her family recently. Yeah. Because she's
[00:10:54] she basically ate herself into a coma at that NFT event.
[00:11:00] Anyway, so we so listen, so we've made a lot of strides in this process. And like basically what you're seeing right now is that this is like before, you know, when Larry Sanders was at meetings with HBO, right?
[00:11:17] Yeah. When already was pitching the show. Yeah. You're in pre production right now with your friends Nick and Adam. All right. And so we're taking you along
[00:11:26] for the entire process. So, you know, I've seen a lot of people say, you can stop calling them test episodes, you know, like are people
[00:11:33] stopping calling them production. You gotta not look at that stuff. I don't listen. I don't look at it. People's my job to look at people shouted at me on the
[00:11:42] streets. It's my job. You just worry about the art and I'll I'll I'll produce I'll produce this thing. And I will be basically like a sponge for all of the negative attitude that comes directed at the show.
[00:11:55] Because I guarantee you, no matter how negative the audience may be, I can do more cocaine than they can. They can. Yeah. I can feel good about it for 10 minutes. I can do more speedball than they can criticize.
[00:12:06] I can feel great. Yeah. About all your criticisms for about eight to 10 minutes. When I when I have to do more when I tie all of my power knots together, my power ties together and
[00:12:18] form one long tie. Oh, yeah. That I put on my office. Yeah. And I tied to a doorknob at the far end of the space, the 7000 square foot space we rented. It's pretty big. Yeah. I put the tie tie at the
[00:12:33] far end. And then I stretch it out all the way to the other end of the room. Yeah. And then I hit a little speedball and I lean back and get a little do a little auto erotic asphyxiation. You take a big whiff. Yeah. Of a rag. They're going to find me. They're going to say producer superstar Nick Million found dead. I changed my name Nick Million. I know I saw that superstar producer. The people. The people are loving that. Yeah. Found dead.
[00:13:02] High on speedball, penis hard, wearing the world's largest tie. Yes. And that's all up all of them because there might be another David Carradine. There's never going to be another guy that killed himself by accident. High on coke wearing the world's largest power tie. Just pulling your small
[00:13:22] shriveled penis. That can't go around my it would be around my neck. I know. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying, oh, so you wouldn't actually be masturbating. It would just be a tie accident. Well, I think that's that's more. That's the erotic part. That's more strangling. Yeah. I don't know if David Carradine was actually masturbating. I think he was just naked and strangling himself in the closet. Oh, really? I assumed he was beating off. Wasn't the guy from in excess also beat would beat off?
[00:13:51] Yeah. He died beating off. It's not been packing. With his family. Yeah. Well, that is so selfish when you have kids. To what? To masturbate? To kill yourself. Oh, to kill yourself. Yeah. They have to live with them. Well, they didn't kill themselves. They died accidentally jacking off. Yeah, it's true. But what about the children? Yeah, it is sad because imagine your son finding you dead for masturbating. He's like that could have been a little brother. That could have been my brother. My little brother instead. You nodded. You know. The kids are not just going to get a little
[00:14:21] I'm out you noted and then died. Yeah, that's how selfish you are
[00:14:28] Anyway guys, so we have a lot of exciting developments
[00:14:33] Happening right now, and I know it sounds like we're doing a bit people aren't sure if this is a prolonged bit
[00:14:38] Maybe we keep you guessing along the way
[00:14:41] Is that your point? That's your grandpa. It's your artistic vision for the show
[00:14:46] Listen, it's all your vision. I'm just the vessel baby. No, I'm here to produce to
[00:14:52] Yeah, but listen you know, I'm telling you pet as an artist. There's in your subconscious
[00:14:57] You know what you want to be doing. It's my job to extract that to reify this sort of like
[00:15:04] Primary creative ooze. Yeah, that you know, it's just in your in your dead will peanut head of yours
[00:15:11] I mean like if I'm gonna be honest with people what I want to do is I want to do something that's never been done before
[00:15:18] We're gonna Mars. I want to talk to a celebrity about a trip to Hawaii
[00:15:23] Yeah, we're the airline lost their luggage. You know what we should do is we should do a show
[00:15:27] We should do a show where we interview celebrities while eating hot wings
[00:15:31] But in space in space. No one's done that it's badass. Yeah, and people would see that they say that's new
[00:15:38] They'd say that's the that's great. How did no one think of that?
[00:15:41] You know, it was there this whole time in my face, but those were the first guys to put it together
[00:15:46] It's like a great Jerry Seinfeld bit. You know, we've all thought it but we've never said it right or we could have a show where we get
[00:15:53] We get a midget version of you a tiny Adam Pridlin midget that interviews midget versions of celebrities
[00:16:00] But they're just riding around on a great name. Oh, that's good. Yeah, I like that. I like it's a horse
[00:16:05] Yeah, yeah, they have they call them horses. They have their own great Danes that that they ride around in like a miniature farm
[00:16:11] We've set up like the puppy bowl. I got a feel they have a little farm. We've set up inside
[00:16:16] They're riding around great Danes that we've taught how to do
[00:16:20] Like Western dressage. That's great. They're doing like dancing. Yeah
[00:16:28] And they're interviewing each other shit wait, I mean, you know what I think that would be
[00:16:32] Incredibly random that would be so and it's you know what it's time. It's been 20 years
[00:16:36] It's time for so random comedy to come back. We gotta give it we gotta go random. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of younger folks
[00:16:44] Thirty nine-year-old millennials listening to this your fresh out of college
[00:16:48] Mentally you gotta spend a couple years fighting yourself after college just figuring it out. Yeah, it's been maybe
[00:16:54] 18 years after college finding yourself and then you're ready to adult and a lot of those people
[00:16:59] They don't they're like what's you what's comedy? You know, like what's the what's even is?
[00:17:04] What's my young generation's comedy and we're bringing so random stuff back?
[00:17:09] Yeah, so if you're I want you to close your eyes for a second
[00:17:12] All right, if you if you're if you're new if you're a young young person zoomer even maybe
[00:17:22] 36 I think that's the generation. They're all that age. Yeah, they're young. They're trying to find their own voice
[00:17:30] Yeah, every zoomer is a 31 year old in kindergarten. Yeah, they've been held back a Billy Madison
[00:17:35] Yeah, I think I'm pretty sure zoomers and millennials have that they're the same age group
[00:17:41] But zoomers are the ones that are yes that have a learning disability and yeah, they're mentally handicapped
[00:17:48] Yeah, whereas the millennials are the ones that have prematurely aged themselves with drugs
[00:17:52] Mm-hmm, and that's that's the difference between the yeah
[00:17:55] But in their minds they haven't really come to terms with what they're looking back with what's staring back at them in the mirror
[00:18:01] Yeah, they're like I can't possibly yeah, I
[00:18:06] Can't I can't even so if you're a young person and you're you're you're you're want some new comedy closer eyes
[00:18:12] Here we go. I want you to imagine this a penguin
[00:18:24] And he's like he's like eating a big piece of cheese
[00:18:33] That is truly so ran yeah, that is ran eating as a little penguin with the the
[00:18:41] And he's like in space. He's only he's in a UFO and it's a penguin with a totally random big block of cheese
[00:18:50] Yeah, no that that's you know sometimes people think a joke is a set up a punch and attack
[00:18:58] Sometimes it's just so sometimes it's just a random
[00:19:05] Oh man, that's crazy. Yeah, we should get we should have a random comedian on for the instead of booking regular stand-up comedians when we get the show going
[00:19:19] New York over. I don't know. Oh, it's Craig Buddha. Oh, should we put him on the pod? Oh, yeah
[00:19:23] Yeah, well do you have this thing? I don't know the thing. We're missing the little thing here. Just put him on Craig
[00:19:34] Can you hear me? Yeah, I don't know if you feel comfortable with this but Nick and I are actually recording the podcast right now
[00:19:44] Okay, I just had a question about general liability insurance
[00:19:56] Okay, cool cuz like they've been like the fucking insurance it don't use the F word on the show, please. Okay. Yeah, Nick asked me
[00:20:07] Yeah, because they've like they've said like even if we're just writing for a podcast
[00:20:11] They'd like literally don't want to ensure any media
[00:20:16] You know the office I'm currently occupying we have a
[00:20:21] You know a production policy because we also do productions
[00:20:24] But the office that we rented require general liability in order to rent from them exactly
[00:20:31] So I don't know if you're gonna be doing any other production. Yes
[00:20:39] Like from the same shop that would be awesome like right now. We're trying to get general liability just to get the keys and then
[00:20:51] Ask him if he's been with a squirter before he goes. No, okay. All right. Anyway, Craig. I'll call you after the I'll call you after
[00:20:57] We're done recording. All right. Thanks, Craig. All right, but
[00:21:00] So those are the kind of phone calls you have to take us. Yeah, when you're a business
[00:21:05] I probably should have handled that producer to producer. I know but like listen, you let me do a little business
[00:21:11] I feel good. I could talk to my dad about that on the phone when I met that guy that he's a white
[00:21:15] Guy you didn't think he was white. I thought he was a big fat Chinese guy because his last name is Buddha
[00:21:21] Well, yeah, I mean that would make sense. Yeah, I thought he's gonna be nude and yeah
[00:21:25] Big nipples people rub his belly. Yeah, I thought he was gonna have huge nipples and earlobes. Why do Chinese people like see that?
[00:21:31] They're like that's the man that guy's the man that's God
[00:21:38] That's our God, I'll tell you exactly why because they are so random
[00:21:42] They are random is a lot of people think Chinese people don't have a sense of humor. No, no
[00:21:48] God has big nipples and big earlobes and then also what if what if there was a factory where everyone died
[00:21:58] How do I do on that business phone call? What do you think that was good?
[00:22:01] And then also that that's exactly we should have made that phone call wild though because I've been I've been I've been
[00:22:07] I've been calling these insurance companies and lying to them and not even knowing what I needed to lie about or where and
[00:22:14] Like Moses lack cuz they're like, what do you need the insurance for I'm like well
[00:22:23] What's the space gonna be used for I'm like, you know a couple of midgets on some great names
[00:22:33] They're like what's that for and I'm like definitely not a TV show. Yeah, not a not a random comedy TV science
[00:22:41] It's a science first couple of scientists doing experiments being of science nothing explosive just midgets great Danes
[00:22:47] Uh-huh and the great Danes have been defanged and neutered. Yeah, and the midgets have had all of their bones reinforced
[00:22:54] Yeah medically well, they're like they're like they're vibranium micro machines
[00:23:05] Structurally reinforced midgets riding great Danes
[00:23:08] But they're strapped in and there's there's there's basically training wheels attached to the great Danes
[00:23:14] There's no way they can fall over mm-hmm. It's super safe
[00:23:18] We also sprayed them all down with flame retardant chemicals that are non cancer causing by the way
[00:23:22] Yeah, we got the good kind and we didn't cheap out on that and we're not filming it no way and
[00:23:29] And we won't even be there actually there's nobody even gonna be in the space no so it might not even it's sort of a
[00:23:36] Schrodinger's midget sort of situation there is he if you don't look in the room is he even riding the great Danes or not?
[00:23:46] What do you need insurance for and I'm like listen you fucking cunt I've been patient with you
[00:23:51] Do you know who the fuck I am you think I need this I could just make I can start my own insurance company right now
[00:23:57] I got a million dollars. Yeah, I'll start the fuck. I'll underwrite my own fucking how much do you make bitch?
[00:24:04] Yeah, well, I gotta I gotta have a bunch of money in the bank
[00:24:08] Well, you gotta have a bunch of dick in your fucking mouth if you question me anyway anyway, so that really hasn't worked
[00:24:15] Yeah, that's caused and Nick is not allowed to call all state
[00:24:18] I mean all state is not happy with they're not happy with you
[00:24:22] Which really I think you really fucked us over with the potential endorsement deal with all state
[00:24:27] Yeah, I mean we gotta go sell we gotta sell big get that guy you get the guy from Oz
[00:24:34] JK Simmons no the guy they have in the commercials the all state commercials
[00:24:38] It's like I'm a mentally retarded podcast. Oh, yeah, that guy Liz Lemon's boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah chaos. What's the name? Yeah?
[00:24:47] You could play that guy you could be the new chaos. Yeah. Yeah, I see you. I see you doing that
[00:24:52] Yeah, what's the premise of those commercials is that he's like something about to go wrong? Yeah
[00:24:57] Yeah, yeah, I'm a guy with Down syndrome learning how to cook his own dinner
[00:25:02] Then it burns down the apartment. Yeah, thank God you got all state
[00:25:05] I'm a pill and a woman's drink every single commercial is just I'm a guy with Down syndrome. They got the keys to his mom's car
[00:25:15] We should we should see if we can find out what ad agency that is and submit all of our ideas
[00:25:21] Yeah, unsolicited send them 6000 ideas and it's like if you use any of these you owe us money. Yeah, we should go in never
[00:25:28] What that's a great that's a good business idea. We should go in with the hidden cameras project Veritas
[00:25:34] Every advertising agency you sit by certified mail you send them every single possible thing
[00:25:41] They could come up with for their product before they get a chance to and then they owe you money
[00:25:46] And you see them for copying and you see them for copying
[00:25:48] Yeah, and then they would be so embarrassing if they got caught copying. Mm-hmm speaking of copying you're gonna want to copy
[00:25:57] The URL diet smoke calm. Oh my god copy that into your browser
[00:26:03] Maybe you want to take over the ad reads since you're the star of the show
[00:26:05] Yeah, nobody wants to hear from the producer. They don't trust people. No people want to hear from both of us
[00:26:10] They like they like art now. They know I'm the guy what Larry Sanders, but they want already to on the guy behind the scenes
[00:26:15] Convincing you you're living a healthy life
[00:26:26] Blue raspberry and watermelon Delta 8 gummies, and they got okay. Here's the other thing
[00:26:30] So they got these Delta 9 gummies now. So these are edibles. They're weed. This will get you fucked up
[00:26:36] Mm-hmm. They have CBD so they come from the same surface. I guess they got Vapes now, too
[00:26:43] So yeah, so now diet smoke it used to be that they were just
[00:26:46] Delta 8 gummies and also they have way more flavors now, too
[00:26:50] They got yeah, they used to have the blue raspberry and the watermelon now
[00:26:55] They have a mango and cherry lime and peach and
[00:27:00] Watermelon so this is the whole lineup now so you can get like you know depending on how how much of an effect
[00:27:06] You want you start off a CBD you graduate Delta 8. Do you see what one of the vape?
[00:27:20] Did not get licensing for that they well, you know it's it's named after a real type of weed
[00:27:28] Is that true? I don't know but Seth Rogen follows me on Twitter and I could ask him ask him if you could
[00:27:34] We should do a whole segment where you talk about the celebrities that follow you on Twitter Seth Rogen. I just found a phone
[00:27:44] Jonah, I don't know if I think he's offline he follows all of us Jonah Hill follows you
[00:27:55] Martin Martin Lawrence Martin Lawrence Martin you know, it's weird everybody Bruce Bruce
[00:28:01] You know, I realized the other day everybody named Martin is famous Martin Sheen Martin Sheen Martin Scrailly Martin Amini Martin
[00:28:10] Martin Scrailly the other one we said Martin short Martin short Martin Lawrence
[00:28:15] Basically, I've never met somebody Martin that isn't famous Martin Valley for Martin Valley
[00:28:21] Maryland Martin the Martian Martin the Marvin Martin the Marvin
[00:28:26] Martin Martin so what is Delta H THC? Do you know that Delta 8?
[00:28:32] No, it is the THC that gives cannabis is popular and desired effects
[00:28:37] And it's technically called Delta the so the the one that you're used to is technically called Delta 9 THC
[00:28:43] Delta 8 THC is also natural to the cannabis plant because our Delta 8
[00:28:48] Derives from the hemp plant it is legal and highly gratifying
[00:28:53] So what's Delta 9 THC Delta 9 THC is a psychoactive cannabinoid
[00:28:58] That all cannabis users know and love and a cannabinoid
[00:29:02] It's an active compound in the cannabis plant similar to how caffeine is an active compound
[00:29:09] A cannabinoid is what they call you if you smoke so much weed you become retarded. Yeah, yeah, you're you got a couple of cannabinoids here. Yeah, yeah
[00:29:17] Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. No, it's good. It's good. Listen guys
[00:29:23] So this comes from the hemp plant just like the you know your your grandpa's old-fashioned
[00:29:32] But this is legal because it's derived from hemp and not marijuana
[00:29:37] The difference is simple hemp and marijuana are the same species of plant the only difference is marijuana has very high concentrations of Delta 9 THC
[00:29:46] Well hemp is legally defined as a cannabis plant that contains less than 0.3 Delta 9 THC
[00:29:52] So according to the farm bill or some sort of loophole in our laws you can get high off this shit
[00:30:01] And how many gummy should you take your first time using it start with a half?
[00:30:04] Then if it's not your first rodeo, maybe have a whole gummy and then get fucked up and maybe watch pineapple Express
[00:30:25] They can't ship to Alaska, Colorado, Delaware, Idaho, Iowa, Montana, Vermont, but those states are pussies
[00:30:32] So guys if you want to get fucked up and if you want it to be lab tested
[00:30:38] And if you want it to have its own QR code
[00:30:40] And if you want all orders to ship the same day if it's placed before 2 p.m
[00:30:46] Dot-com and it takes two to four days gets to your house and then you fucking put on
[00:30:53] Pineapple Express and you get fucked up and you laugh your ass off at their depiction of
[00:31:03] Which is potentially one of the last times in comedy that you were allowed to be racist and use promo code
[00:31:10] Come down at them that's why and if you use promo code come down or come down 20 not to dead name not to dead name
[00:31:20] From this website. I think it's probably 20% discount and they have new vapes and new flavors
[00:31:32] You got a code you get free to pack you get much you get a bunch of shit to pack Shakur to pack Shakur
[00:31:41] Would like to think that we're he alive. Yeah, he would be a guest on the Adam free lunch. Well, he is alive. Oh, yeah
[00:31:49] I heard that he's in Jamaica getting high. Yeah, I don't know if you saw the new Bos Lerman Elvis movie
[00:31:55] But if you waited until after the credits, there's a scene where Tupac is at a bar and Elvis walks into the bar
[00:32:04] She finally made it. Yeah, you know, it's like maybe we should form the the best band of all time
[00:32:10] Yeah, and it's like people are gonna be crazy and then if you have to go watch all the
[00:32:15] All those movies to stay for the post credits the post credit Easter egg if you yeah
[00:32:20] And if you don't stay for the post credit Easter egg
[00:32:22] Then basically you have nothing to live for as a millennial
[00:32:26] Yeah, you should like it's not even worth their cost of admission
[00:32:30] There's only two kinds of millennials the ones that want student loan forgiveness
[00:32:33] Mm-hmm and the ones that live for post credit Easter eggs. They're only two cars. There's no and there's no
[00:32:40] Overlap between you're either a guy that fucking does not have debt and
[00:32:46] And some he's got a house. He bought his own house managed to buy his own house in a ex-serb of Louisville
[00:32:54] Right and he lives for a Marvel movie post credit Easter eggs. Yeah, and he's and his wife is not looking so good
[00:33:02] She's looking fine. You know, yeah, I think she's a better day. She's a flip-flop and sweatpants short Latina
[00:33:09] Mm-hmm. Oh, that sounds good. That's actually pretty good. Yeah, his wife's fine. She's she's and they're both dying of
[00:33:23] And they don't they don't know COVID is happening. No, the news has not reached them. Yeah, they haven't heard they don't know what it is
[00:33:31] As long as it doesn't fuck with their annual trip to Disney
[00:33:35] Do you think they go to Disney? Oh, they live for that. Yeah
[00:33:39] They live for the years. Let's see. Maybe we should do a Marvel segment
[00:33:48] Last one I saw was Shang-Chi the legend of the 10 ring
[00:33:52] I guess Morbius is the way she was technically the Marvel Chinese universe not the Marvel cinematic
[00:33:58] Yeah, it's so random Marvel. That's just random. It was Shang-Chi's power
[00:34:02] It's usually the power of random. There'd be a couple of guys like robbing somebody be like, hey
[00:34:09] And they're like, what are you gonna do about it? And he's like what imagine
[00:34:17] There is a zombie doctor who lives on the moon
[00:34:24] They die laughing they die laughing yeah, what if one man told a joke so funny
[00:34:29] Mm-hmm that killed another man that it used Shang-Chi's so random Chinese comedy
[00:34:43] Love and thunder is that right? I still can't believe Simon Pegg blew off the Adam Friedland show to do with his fucking
[00:34:52] Yeah, it's fucking like it's so like yeah like um
[00:34:59] Just take your career seriously. I guess I mean I don't want to give him advice or anything
[00:35:04] He isn't interested. You know, we can't help you. It's like we're helping we're helping Simon
[00:35:09] You know what Simon Pegg looks like is if Pitbull were actually white
[00:35:14] Really? Yeah, kind of imagine mr. Worldwide as someone from the British Isles
[00:35:18] Yeah, you know, he really came up as like a nerd kind of guy
[00:35:22] But he wasn't a nerd they were office. They were office guys. They're not like nerds
[00:35:28] Yeah, no, I'm saying but they're like the whole thing wasn't like they were nerds
[00:35:31] They were like they're supposed to be like a downtrodden kind of no
[00:35:35] But they like talk about Star Trek and so this the Shawn of the dead like these they don't talk about Star Trek do they no
[00:35:41] He was in a show where I think they were all Trekkies and so I forget what it was
[00:35:45] I don't even know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I don't know fuck all that I don't know guys fucking career
[00:35:50] I don't know piss all I don't know fucking goddamn thing. I tell you it
[00:35:55] When I sent that email I was the biggest Simon Pegg fan in the world
[00:35:59] Yeah, and now after this fucking you've lost a fan this fucking cocksucker is gonna spend time with a family
[00:36:08] Look at this. I got a puzzle you got a big ass. See a big fucking TV around sound
[00:36:13] How about instead of being in the mission impossible movies, why don't you come over here?
[00:36:17] We can't fuck up. We'll watch all the mission impossible. That would be so sick. We'll watch them
[00:36:24] We'll be like what was that like, you know, let me ask you something
[00:36:28] Did you really did you think did you know going in that the mission wasn't actually impossible?
[00:36:35] Because that's what that's what it's called Tom Cruise in real life. Is he strong?
[00:36:39] Is he fucking strong cuz I know he's cut but like you ever see him bench, you know numbers
[00:36:44] He's put yeah, what's what we talk about now? What kind of sneakers are you wearing bro?
[00:36:49] That's what they probably thought they probably thought this
[00:36:53] Yeah, yeah, any time he's in LA gets asked to a podcast and probably all like what kind of sneakers you got on bro
[00:37:00] What kind of what's your sneaker game doing?
[00:37:02] Yeah, so you do comedy you ever think about releasing like a specialist something cuz the new game now is everybody's doing their own shit
[00:37:11] Yeah, cuz I was wondering is that is that ever gonna reach the Hollywood fucking movie style?
[00:37:16] I'm changing the game right now like imagine if imagine if you and Tom Cruise
[00:37:21] You did you made your own mission impossible and was on that next flex and you could say you could say the words that they don't let you
[00:37:28] Pro you could put it on Netflix. You could do your own mission you could do. Yeah, whatever you're not answering the fucking nobody
[00:37:39] Mean I mean what even have what's happening the last mission and pause always got to be like a terrorist as a bomb
[00:37:45] But this new one you could do whatever you want
[00:37:47] It could be like a fucking you could go to you could it could be in space
[00:37:50] Yeah, and you could like you know, you could be you could have two great Danes and the mission could be
[00:37:58] Perhaps getting like like a like midgets or something or like a penguin
[00:38:03] Like a scary scary like a zombie penguin and he's eating a big piece of cheese with a spork
[00:38:09] Yeah, bro. Can you imagine that how fucking funny that would be funny and then also he's got the freshest kicks
[00:38:16] Yeah, who's wearing James all right our next guest is a UFC fighter
[00:38:20] I'm gonna just make fucking homo erotico modulus to his body the whole time. Yeah, cuz you kind of big
[00:38:27] Yeah, yeah, that's thanks for the Simon Peck. Thanks for coming on our comedy podcast. Yeah, we talk about
[00:38:33] We talk about UFC. Yeah and sneakers. Yeah, it's called pull no punches
[00:38:39] Right because that's like what a comedy is like. Yeah, and that's what that you ultimate fighting
[00:38:44] It's called the two cool guys who take shit from nobody ever especially not on Wednesdays and Sundays
[00:38:52] The two kings who are cool guys who never do anything but
[00:38:56] Dish it and they can take it, but they refuse to yeah
[00:38:59] They could take it if they wanted to but they're not gonna put up with that because the alpha their alpha
[00:39:04] There's actually a new Greek letter that goes even it's even before alpha. Yeah, it's zero
[00:39:10] As imagine if the alphabet had a zero it's called two zero king losers
[00:39:16] But they choose to lose yeah, cuz they got sneakers now and
[00:39:21] Their millennials. There's still young the young couple of young guys figuring out there 59 year old millennials. Yeah, they're just kids
[00:39:28] Yeah, they're just kids from from the from the neighborhood and I we got cut to our sponsor today. It's a
[00:39:34] Performance enhancing drugs they come in the form of of air heads if you remember those
[00:39:40] Yeah, those were great dude. They got really sour and they were sweet
[00:39:45] Okay, all right and we're back and that is kind of la podcast really do be like that
[00:39:50] Yeah, I mean, I think it's all podcasts and probably we know we need to learn about those only three types of podcasts
[00:39:57] You know and I'm excluding everyone already knows about that Tim. There's Tim Dylan Joe Rogan types
[00:40:02] Mm-hmm, which I would call pure podcasting. Yeah, you know, yeah anybody that like anybody that could possibly do anything for us
[00:40:10] I would call that good. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, they're at the peak of their game
[00:40:15] The pinnacle anyone that could help us in any way outside of that you got like true crime or dungeons and dragon shit
[00:40:21] Mm-hmm, which for some reason there's somehow you know, it's funny is like, you know
[00:40:25] We had our old show and people will talk about like you guys figured it out, you know, but like and you know, we did well
[00:40:31] But somehow you can just start a d dungeons and dragons or true crime podcast and people will give you billions of dollars
[00:40:40] You make two hundred and fifty thousand dollars a month a week easy
[00:40:44] And it's like I guess there's minute and it's just because of cereal. I
[00:40:49] Guess oh, yeah. Yeah, imagine if you had a true crime D&D podcast
[00:40:53] Oh my god, where you led people through quests that were actual crime. There were rapes that happened the real real rapes
[00:40:58] Yeah, we saw women's rapes through chance logic. Yeah, you and fantasy. Yeah. Yeah through sexual fantasy
[00:41:06] That's when people think of when people think of rape. They think of the sexual fantasies
[00:41:10] That was Eugene Carroll coming up with the greatest podcast at all time
[00:41:13] We got to get her on a mic. Yeah. Yeah to be a dungeon master in the rape dungeon. Yeah, I believe it's cool
[00:41:20] We need Simon Pegg and Eugene Carroll on an episode. Yeah, I consider myself British myself actually. Yeah in a certain way
[00:41:26] It's like in what way are you British although in the stand? Yeah, she's like well. I've got a short haircut
[00:41:34] I've got we have the same haircut. They have that in England. You know, I've got a translucent skin
[00:41:41] I'm crazy. Yeah, I've skipped a friend of you. Yeah, I love burgdorff Goodman. Yeah
[00:41:48] Shakespeare that's one of the quotes. That's it. That's what that's what happened in my brain
[00:41:53] Shakespeare that I thought I was British as I referred to before the Donald Trump is Shakespearean in the clip
[00:42:02] Trump 1996 hail and well-met fellow Shakespearean talk of the town he's saying hi to everybody and
[00:42:08] He took me in the burgdorff Goodman and the thing you have to understand
[00:42:12] Is burgdorff Goodman is a magical place. Yeah, it's true kind of like jolly old itself. Yeah, it's true. Yeah
[00:42:18] You know, they give you champagne while you shop there do they?
[00:42:27] Sham yeah sounds like she committed a pain sham when she falsely accused the president and
[00:42:38] Eaching Carol famous liar who lied she lied on him
[00:42:44] She lied on his ass she lied on his ass
[00:42:52] Dot-gun Adam you take you love sex. You're gonna love blue chew calm. Are they still going with that?
[00:42:57] I don't know you haven't sent me copy in months. I'm sorry. That's all right. I'm gonna now
[00:43:03] Look now that I'm a new kind of producer. Yeah, there's all these things that I used to be really bad at on purpose
[00:43:09] Then I got it you're gonna be so thorough now
[00:43:12] But yes, so cop new fresh copy every fucking time blue chew offers you the same advanced active ingredients as Viagra
[00:43:20] so Dena Phil and C alas to dala Phil and
[00:43:26] Vardena Phil who they got a new one. What's Levitra? It's like if you're with a black lady. Yeah, yeah
[00:43:32] Yeah, I was gonna say you want to have a nice night with Levitra. Yeah, basically any medicine works that way. Yeah
[00:43:52] Tala no, I don't know I've never said that word either
[00:43:55] Really funny. That's really random. They offer you the same active ingredient is tepangwin
[00:44:01] My name is tepangwin. It's true that the boy means world girl did have a tepangwin a cystic on there
[00:44:08] Yeah, but it's so random says but it was random that was a white girl in school. Yeah with a Corey
[00:44:14] Anyway, miss tepangwin for a fraction of the price when lunch break in a chewable form
[00:44:20] Prescribed online and shipped to your door cancel anytime. No gimmicks. No lock-in blue chew
[00:44:29] What's no lock-in mean like during the race
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[00:45:00] Pills haven't worked for you blue chew offers chewable sildentaphil to dalaphil and
[00:45:12] an alternative option for you anyway guys you get these chewable tablets they get your fucking dick hard
[00:45:17] What's I do I kind of want to I want to try out la vietra. Yeah. Yeah, I'm switching up to la vietra
[00:45:24] I've heard a la vietra my ass. Oh, I would love to get my ass la vietra
[00:45:29] Here's the deal guys you go to this website. I love each
[00:45:33] Rapussy I would love to la vietra pussy
[00:45:37] You go to this damn website guys and you get started you talk to one of their licensed medical professionals
[00:45:43] They subscribe you their chewable tablets. They're sent to your home in discreet packaging
[00:45:50] Your bitch is not legally allowed to open your mail if she opens your mail
[00:45:55] You can send her to jail because that is a federal offense. It doesn't matter if it's dick pills
[00:46:01] It's any anything that you could get in the mail
[00:46:03] but just because it's dick pills doesn't mean that she can snoop around your shit and
[00:46:08] Tell her friends at girls night that she accidentally opened up your blue chew
[00:46:13] Okay, that is an illegal act and you guys should be aware of that anyway
[00:46:18] But you go to this website you get your shit. You don't it's super easy
[00:46:23] You put in promo code come town come town 20
[00:46:26] Whichever one it is and you get your first month free
[00:46:30] You just pay five dollar shipping and you get your fucking dick heart guys and folks it works
[00:46:36] It's changed the lives of millions of men
[00:46:42] 22 year old millennials and use promo code come down or come town 20 soon to be changed to
[00:46:48] Whatever the if we can get that promo code change to something
[00:46:54] Adam related should we look up La Vittre is that something you want to talk about? Yeah, let's let's see what La Vittre
[00:46:59] Which one did you always go for the Cialis?
[00:47:02] I don't know. I don't I don't have any of my house anymore, but I think I got Cialis
[00:47:08] Because I think Cialis is 36 hours of just rock hard ca card
[00:47:17] Vardena Phil is a generic name of our Dena Phil. Yeah, congratulations to Bluetooth for
[00:47:23] Getting a third flavor now. I kind of want to rewatch
[00:47:31] That ended the world or world ending movie remember that
[00:47:34] Oh, was that Simon the world's end the world's end. I don't think I ever saw it. I
[00:47:43] Don't think I ever saw it. Yeah, I remember enjoying it
[00:47:49] Listen those guys are funny. They are funny the fat guy. He's funny the fact that we maybe we should see we get the fat guy on
[00:47:56] What's his name Nick something? I think he and Simon Pegg has some kind of falling out or something really yeah
[00:48:02] Maybe Simon Pegg doesn't like guys named Nick. Maybe maybe that's what it was. Yeah
[00:48:08] You know, you know, he's a fat guy in his name is Nick Frost
[00:48:17] We should have modern ask of that is anyway
[00:48:21] Has anyone ever called you would we say
[00:48:26] And elementary school the people call you that they call you semen pig no no we're just asking the hard-hitting questions
[00:48:34] Yeah, hey Nick Frost and I remember call you Snickers frosting you fat fuck
[00:48:40] You fat fucking piece of welcome welcome to American podcasting. Yeah, what kind of sneakers you got on a big boy
[00:48:49] They got to be fresh because that's the thing you probably even though you a fat fuck
[00:48:53] You probably get girls a bro because you got confidence. Yeah, and that's what women was about a woman's brain responds to confidence
[00:49:01] Yeah, you know, I'm saying I'm always telling my my son that yeah, I think I think he calls me Eric
[00:49:08] Which yeah, cuz you're working way up to that. He's got you know, he's he's well. I never see him
[00:49:13] I see him once every two years. Okay. He calls me Eric
[00:49:17] Which is weird because my name is Brian
[00:49:19] Who's Eric like I don't know I don't know why calls him that I mean I was bad enough
[00:49:25] He doesn't call me dad, but I figured he was calling my name
[00:49:27] So not put open that shit, bro. Yeah, I think he's disrespecting me
[00:49:31] But and that's why I can't get pussy from his mom no more
[00:49:34] But if I would have beat the fuck out of him. That's why I've been taking Brazilian karate. Yeah, I've been taking Brazilian chai chi-chi
[00:49:41] She's your chiang chi. Yeah with a Brazilian guy. I think so. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure put on the karate clothes
[00:49:46] Yeah, I was walking around the other there was a guy cleaning up a target
[00:49:50] I used to hang out in the dressing room till after I was a target now. Okay go up and I would I would
[00:49:56] Sexually the only thing that works for me fat mannequins, bro
[00:50:00] So I got to wait till after I was a target so I can fuck him and
[00:50:04] One time I came out of the dressing room a little early. There's a little Mexican guy going around
[00:50:09] It's like bro. Can you teach me Brazilian karate? Yeah, and now I thought I give him $500 every Thursday and
[00:50:18] He's been teaching me karate you guys just roll around on the floor. Yeah, so I can beat up my son and then fuck his mom
[00:50:24] Because she responds so respect social respect me. Yeah, that's what that's you know and if you're a young guy you listen to this
[00:50:33] Once again age 51 to 78 years old. Yeah, you know, I'm not only telling Nick for us this who see her right now
[00:50:40] And he's in awe. Yeah, he's it because we've cut his mic
[00:50:44] And also he left but he's in awe. Yeah, it's because he didn't realize you know and a lot of you guys don't realize this
[00:50:51] Well women respond to they got primal brains, you know, it's true like all the women that are like
[00:50:58] I want like I want someone that respects me someone, you know, what they really want is a guy
[00:51:04] That's that's capable of doing karate. I don't know
[00:51:07] I'm a child and I know a lot of you strong enough to beat up a kid if women are
[00:51:11] That's what we're gonna respond to why can I Google your name right now Brian and there's 15 articles on TMZ about you raping
[00:51:19] Yeah, 50 different women. Yeah, but unsubstantiated. Well, hold on
[00:51:26] What is true though is I've I've lost count of my number. Yeah, it's in the thousands
[00:51:32] So if 5% of that is rape, right? But 95% of it is consensual right guess who's getting pussy for real, bro
[00:51:40] Yeah, you're still getting it the sneaker doctor the speaker boy the wizard is sneaker man sneaker mind
[00:51:50] Yeah, and I know that like we're in LA, but we have these accents
[00:51:54] Yeah, but that's just like you know, we've never even been to New York
[00:51:58] I've never been to New York. No, but like this is like bro. I'm from San Francisco. This is the real you're from San
[00:52:03] from yeah, yeah, I'm from San Francisco. I
[00:52:06] Use a name Tommy B, but you know, yeah, yeah, my real last name is Barjosian the anion John
[00:52:12] Jeez, oh you're on media. Yeah, no my parents are like Syrian or Lebanese or something. I'm sure like that
[00:52:18] Yeah, they did real estate. They did commercial real estate. So I grew up as like a fucking billionaire. Yeah, yeah, you know
[00:52:26] I've been buying sneakers since I was 14. Yeah, I'm just doing fucking comedy
[00:52:31] I'm doing I got in the comedy age 51 years old. Yeah, yeah, and I've been going up at the mic at the store
[00:52:37] I'm at the store every night every fucking night. You gotta put your face and reps. Yeah the work and I
[00:52:43] I'm really meeting reps dude half the time I go up on stage and I'll bring a set of dumbbells with me
[00:52:50] So while I'm you know so that it's you know, it's even more work
[00:52:55] I wear ankle weights while I do stand up because that's I'm trying to do I'm trying to give 110
[00:53:01] I'm trying to work the hardest. Yeah, I might not be the funniest, but I'll work your I'm wearing
[00:53:06] I'm wearing six six six sizes six X's over my regular size
[00:53:14] When I go on stage, yeah, cuz I want to make sure I'm putting in the work reps, you know, and I'm like yo
[00:53:21] Who's fucking squirting who's doing that and it's not it's more. It's even more harder, right?
[00:53:28] Right because you know, I'm being weighed down by all these ankle weights. Yeah, that's right and that's how I could like yeah
[00:53:34] I look I've been doing comedy six months, but I'm I'm committed to the lifestyle. I'm doing the podcast
[00:53:40] I'm got the podcast going up every night. I got the sneakers. I got committed 50 rapes
[00:53:45] I'm I'm in it. I'm in the life's to Brazilian to just I'm doing Brazilian to
[00:53:53] Gotta lead on two midgets in a rental space. We're getting great beans and creating the greatest TV show of all time
[00:54:01] Bro, I'm telling you we got this bro, it's just LA style. It's just L. That's just what it's just L. A
[00:54:07] I'm just trying to be I'm just trying to be the king. I'm trying to be you know, and you know, it's like in this town
[00:54:12] There's so many fakes, you know saying like everyone you meet in this industry
[00:54:18] Everyone's out to get you stab you in the back fuck you in your ass, you know, you can't trust anyone in this fucking industry
[00:54:25] Yeah, but you know, you put your fucking head down. Yeah, you go wait in line. Yeah, Craig Buddha molestia me. No
[00:54:42] But me Tommy B let's just say I've had my own experience don't pull any punches. I don't pull any punches
[00:54:48] Yeah, whether it's a woman or you're on stage. I tell it like I would be a hundred pounds in body weight
[00:54:54] Yeah, here on the two losers away six thousand pounds due to ankle weights, but they got sneakers and a king's mentality podcast. I
[00:55:03] Don't pull a no punches bro. You know like
[00:55:07] Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba. I'm loving it. That's my catchphrase. Really? Yeah, do they have every joke I go ba-da-ba-ba-ba
[00:55:13] I'm loving it, but then it turns out that I kind of got an illegal issue with it. Yeah
[00:55:19] Apparently, yeah, it's like a fucking restaurant that already has that no shit. Yeah, that's bullshit, bro
[00:55:27] Bro, you just you gotta say fuck you to that so I'm changing it's bad up
[00:55:33] Pizza pizza. That's what I do now. Okay. Okay. I like to see them take that away from you
[00:55:38] Yeah, you know, I see they got this restaurant little Caesars. Yeah, and me and me and Tommy see we're in there
[00:55:44] That's another guy does comedy together our combined age is 147. Yeah, he's funny. Yeah, he's he's a fuck
[00:55:51] He's a fucking powerhouse gorilla rapist
[00:55:57] Beast animal dude. He's like the like the fucking lightning rod
[00:56:04] muscle man power ass jail house killer yeah
[00:56:09] a rapist beast bro on stage. I'm telling you my god
[00:56:16] It's like you watch him do a set. It's like a where were you kind of moment? Yeah, you know, you know
[00:56:21] He is just a fucking absolute beast, but we would get it. We were bulking together
[00:56:26] Okay, we did we just there. We did it. We just we won't we're doing spots all night spot so cumulatively, you know
[00:56:33] It's like we've been on stage for maybe 45 minutes. Yeah
[00:56:36] For the whole night, you know, but we got the ankle weights on the whole time
[00:56:42] We're sweating. Yeah, we got to go get we got a fuel up so we went to went to a sort Italian place
[00:56:47] You know, I'm you know me. I'm big on authentic Italian. Uh-huh. Yeah, we went to this book in the pepalo
[00:56:52] We went to this place little Caesar's okay, but we were sitting there and I said to him. I was like Tommy
[00:57:01] Big diseases, okay, and it's okay in its big. It's this bro, but this you get two pieces
[00:57:11] Instead of the one you pay the price for the one they give you two pieces and
[00:57:17] You just lost his mind. I mean he's like times are really good idea
[00:57:22] Which by the way, that is a perfect Tommy's no you got him Tommy Chrome is on sounds exactly like that Tommy's see
[00:57:29] Yeah, Tommy to call him to Tommy in parentheses to
[00:57:36] Absolute fucking brain retard on stage. They call him the power
[00:57:54] Heard I heard I heard I heard rich voice was in the back of the room
[00:57:58] When you who's rich boss? He says New York, I don't really fuck when I was New York guys. Yeah, no
[00:58:05] No, no, I think I think he was vibing. I know I don't like the New York guys because they're all about like, you know, yeah
[00:58:11] Just they're like, oh, I'm just gonna write some jokes. It's like bro. No, you gotta have the whole mentality
[00:58:15] Yeah, that's why it's like I the more time I spent with Tommy see the more I can feel his mentality
[00:58:21] I'm sort of rubbing off on me. Yeah, you know
[00:58:24] Cuz I asked him I'm like have you written any new jokes? He's like no, I just bought more sneakers
[00:58:28] Yeah, I got more sneakers. I've been I'm trying to I got a couple more black belts. Yeah, I
[00:58:34] Downloaded the the signal app. Yeah, so pictures can I go in the green
[00:58:39] You go in the green one is New York comics. They're scrolling through their notebooks all the LA comics the cover
[00:58:44] ankle weights injecting PEDs. That's how you that's what sets the absolute killer bastard
[00:58:53] Rapus from the nerd, you know, like the nerd guys
[00:58:58] Yeah, but it just trying to read jokes right instead of being a mindset mentality gorilla
[00:59:04] Sporing the New York. Mm-hmm. It's just so boring. Yeah
[00:59:09] They don't know anything about I think bench pressing and being random. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's what I'm getting into
[00:59:19] Bobby Lee's a nice guy is a good guy. It's a good guy. Really good guy. Bobby Lee. He's helped a lot of people absolute killer
[00:59:33] You gotta see him to these little x-ray dude Bobby Bobby goes on stage and fucking
[00:59:38] People are putting guns in the mouths and blowing the fucking brains out. They can't stop later. They can't stop laughing
[00:59:44] Yeah, it's true, you know it hurts and that's they put a they put it. You know what that you ever heard of debasils
[00:59:52] Decibels debasils. No, I looked it up. So
[00:59:56] Tommy she was telling me about this. They got this shit debis. Smart. They got this shit debis. So which is like it tells
[01:00:02] It tells you how fucking loud a shit is
[01:00:05] Okay, you know, so like you know how like you know you weigh something right like that's how many pounds of this
[01:00:12] You know like me. I'm five four three hundred ninety two pounds. Okay, you know, so I have a height
[01:00:18] Height that's got a number weight that's got a yeah, but sound that has a number two now
[01:00:24] It's got cuz used to be volume, but that's on the other that's on the that just goes up
[01:00:28] That's on the knob. Yeah, you know and that depends on the fucking thing
[01:00:31] But like what if you're outside and you say like what's the volume and that's what debasils it?
[01:00:36] Yes, right and they put that in one of Bobby's shows and the number was so fucking high that
[01:00:44] You know, they had their clothes but they had the it was illegal
[01:00:47] Because people were laughing so hard today. They lost the business license that a call the cops and they had to close the place down
[01:00:54] Separate from that. I guess the owner of the club had like raped a couple of female comedians
[01:00:58] Yeah, but it was the debasils. Yeah, and they said their owner raped a bunch of female comedians
[01:01:03] I said damn I had no idea. He also did comedy
[01:01:10] Was also a comedian and I said we got to get this guy some sneakers
[01:01:15] We got to get him on the podcast give him a chance, you know, yeah work them out a little we're gonna
[01:01:20] Hey, we asked when we say what's your ratio, bro
[01:01:23] Consensual the non-consensual. What's your ratio because if you're if you're over 95%
[01:01:28] basically in the pussy world you're like a killer you like a stage monster
[01:01:35] Yeah, you're like a mind like a monster fucking gargoyle monkey face fucking
[01:01:44] Yeah jungle piece of ass Bobby Leon stage is a piece of ass absolute
[01:01:57] You see that oh my god absolute sex pot damn just slut compig power bastard
[01:02:14] The debasils was so high my dick got so hard it popped
[01:02:18] You you did get a heart from devil's like, you know a cartoon
[01:02:21] Submometer and a summer time and a pop that the top pop. No way. Yeah. Yeah, they get reconstructive surgery that fixed it
[01:02:29] Yeah, they made it bigger. I mean it was already pretty big. Yeah number one rule of comedy
[01:02:35] You always say that your dick is big you always compliment yourself
[01:02:38] Yeah, you get it because it's not about making the audience laugh
[01:02:42] It's about making the women in the audience be so bored that they keep drinking and drinking and drinking until you by the end of the show
[01:02:50] You can take them back to your hotel room. Yeah, it's true, you know because they don't know where they are
[01:02:55] And if you're doing a full hour. Yeah, you know, how many drinks is that? Yeah?
[01:02:59] Yeah, do a full hour my personally what I tell the clubs is you know a lot of clubs have a two drink minimum
[01:03:05] I tell them we're going 15 drink minimum. Yeah for women GHB. Yeah
[01:03:14] I don't know I don't know bro. That's never been proven a little bit too much to me
[01:03:21] What I wait I sometimes I just joke you just joking you just jol. It's just random
[01:03:27] It's gonna be it's gonna be a thing where you you know, you know, you know a lot of guys
[01:03:31] You can't you can't even joke around like that anymore. I know it's cuz like woke, you know
[01:03:36] It's cuz this woke woke stop. Don't even I can't
[01:03:43] Make this shit illegal, yeah, it's like you know, it's like do you think I'm fucking rabies bro?
[01:03:47] My criminal defense attorney is a fucking black woman
[01:03:50] That's that's my public defender in the in the in the you know that remember the 14 year old and sandal
[01:03:55] I remember and you told me you'd not only consider her to be your lawyer, but also a friend. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
[01:04:04] Yeah, yeah, she's like she's got a really good sense of humor. Yeah. Yeah, especially about all the things you've done
[01:04:11] You know, she's like not again. Well done question mark. You know accused as in am I done doing it? Hello?
[01:04:19] No, I'm gonna keep going till they change the laws
[01:04:25] Now the judges like did you do this? I'm like yes
[01:04:29] My but my I'm pleading this shit ain't wrong. Yeah, and it's not over. Yeah. Yeah, yes
[01:04:35] Okay, so consent missing in this situation, but when other women see my gorilla stage killer ankle weight mindset
[01:04:43] They're gonna say this guy takes what he wants then in the future. You're on a by taking advantage of some people now
[01:04:52] Preventing myself from taking advantage of other people in the future
[01:04:55] Because when this very public sexual assault case goes forward
[01:05:00] Mm-hmm. It you know about women writing letters to guys in jail. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah
[01:05:06] That's what's gonna happen. You put me in there, right?
[01:05:09] I'm gonna get those letters. Yeah, and so this is this is a play by me. Everything's always a play
[01:05:15] Right, right. You don't understand cuz you a judge you always making decisions, right a guy like me your three steps ahead
[01:05:23] That's like your joke your joke your joke is you say your three steps ahead and then you say five and I say bro
[01:05:29] I'm five steps ahead. I'm five steps ahead. Oh, man. God. Yeah, I just love comedy and saying, you know jokes like that
[01:05:49] You did it's called. Yes, and yeah, yeah, yeah, I went to the UCV one time. Yeah, yeah
[01:05:56] And how many comments shows you see oh no, no, I was I was doing that. Oh you don't have any classes you take that oh
[01:06:03] We had there was a problem with the payments. So yeah, I was asked to leave well
[01:06:08] How many classes you take that bro? I took like I took like one yeah, I was gonna say I took like fucking seven
[01:06:15] Oh, that's good now and also all the sketches I was writing was I was
[01:06:24] The way that was my big problem cuz you know my manager my agent when I saw the comedy
[01:06:30] I got signed immediately, you know, yeah my sneakers in my advanced age. Yeah, and they said oh this is good
[01:06:36] This guy's gonna be huge. You know this guy's gonna. It's like a young roadman even though he's three years old
[01:06:41] Yeah, and they tried they tried to give me you know writing jobs, but I
[01:06:47] Didn't really I didn't know that I don't
[01:06:50] illiterate yeah, apparently I don't know how to read or write you never I never thought about you can't get into a
[01:06:56] writer's room. Yeah, so you got to like you got to like have you seen the movie Billy Madison?
[01:07:03] No, I've never seen any comedy movie ever
[01:07:10] My lifelong passion that I discovered at 57 years old, but I can't name a single comedian that I don't do a podcast with
[01:07:18] Or that I'm not trying to get on my podcast. Yeah, I don't know I'm
[01:07:22] At least I maybe I've never seen a single movie. I can't explain how jokes work
[01:07:27] All I can do is talk about sneakers and add more numbers to another number. Yeah
[01:07:31] Yeah, yeah, yeah, no joke the joke of CT the joke is that I know how to count
[01:07:40] Counties like reading the demonstrate counties like reading of numbers, you know, bro
[01:07:44] Yeah, that's like you kind of do know how to read yeah
[01:07:46] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I try I tried you know cuz there's some guys there's New York guys. They're all like technicians
[01:07:51] Yeah, they're like search. They're like brain surgery. I was talking to this New York guy. I think it think it was
[01:07:58] He I don't remember his name. He's Elmo. It's S me Street. Oh, and he was New York guy. No, no
[01:08:05] No, no power house. No, you're a common real fucking guy. Yeah
[01:08:09] And he was telling me that comedy's got this thing a rule of threes. I was like hold on
[01:08:14] He said this is one there's one and then there's two and you tell me after that there's just three yeah
[01:08:21] And that's just crazy that fucking blew my mind. That's incredible
[01:08:25] Incredible that blew my mind. That's incredible because I only know one or two. Yeah, and that is my fucking one girl tonight
[01:08:35] And then he said hey when you fuck two girls at the same time
[01:08:39] What's that called? I said it's called a threesome and it was like it's like your whole world meeting the Buddha
[01:08:44] Yeah, you know that fact when I met that Buddha. Yeah, yeah, you actually molested me. Yeah, Greg Buddha molested shut up
[01:08:58] That's some that's the thing bro is you just gotta keep you stay on a bit until you find the way to wiesel in the thing
[01:09:05] You're not supposed to say yeah. Yeah, I wonder if it's okay with Craig though. We took that probably not
[01:09:10] I mean you took the phone call. I told him we're on the pocket
[01:09:13] I'll call him after we can be put up who are we even making fun of who's a look?
[01:09:17] What is the last 20 minutes? Who is that supposed to be it's like shawl maybe
[01:09:22] Do you are you familiar with him? I don't know. I don't really people or he's always getting into dramas
[01:09:27] Is that what's happening? What like I always get DMS is like where do you stand on the new shawl drama?
[01:09:33] I don't know what I don't I don't listen to podcast
[01:09:38] but they're always like like guys that fight and then
[01:09:41] Get into comedy is that what we're doing or Chris de Lea is that what we're doing? I think it's all of them
[01:09:48] It's a general impression I have of like all of those podcast based on like me not listening to one minute of it
[01:09:54] Yeah, they just pop up and it's like they have sneakers. It's all six guys. Yeah sneaker thing
[01:09:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then yeah, I guess and if any of those guys that I just named have a problem
[01:10:05] They come in you can come to New York and they come to New York
[01:10:08] You can talk to the sweater brothers you talk to the sweater brothers
[01:10:11] You're gonna have to get through them to get to me. Mm-hmm, and then you're gonna have to get through Lord
[01:10:20] Yeah, yeah, no those deals where do you stand on the new Brendan Shaw drama? What is the new drama?
[01:10:27] I don't know. It's always like it's like every every six months. I got like a DM from someone about that
[01:10:33] What are we doing? I'm tricking the watch and the thing you're exercising to thinking I'm well
[01:10:37] I'm standing up well you got a pack for Chicago
[01:10:40] I don't you know, I don't pack I fucking put two pairs on to wear a backpack and then I just buy clothes in the town
[01:10:48] You buy clothes every time you're on the road
[01:10:51] Well, I usually because I hit the hotel gym
[01:10:53] I go on an exercise bike and I sweat so fucking much that you need new clothes. Yeah, you throw it out
[01:10:58] Yeah, I just throw I wear shit clothes and then I throw them out
[01:11:01] Oh, that's kind of a good way to refresh your wardrobe. Mm-hmm. And then you have like a
[01:11:05] T-shirt of every city you've been in it's kind of like a kitchen magnet kind of yeah
[01:11:10] I just buy clothes with gas station of the gas the Chicago gas. Yes, Chicago gas and I donate, you know donate the old clothes
[01:11:17] Those go to homeless people. Yeah, and then
[01:11:23] What else what did you want to talk about?
[01:11:25] Do you want to try and squash the beef with any of the LA comedians that we just caused to or Craig Buddha perhaps?
[01:11:30] No, well, I don't know. Maybe we should be about his name. I don't know
[01:11:36] But I mean he's like a he's like a real professional. I honestly he wouldn't care. He's a
[01:11:48] But no, I'm welcome to beef. I welcome the drama. Okay, you know people are DMing me about these dramas
[01:11:55] I'm thinking like we need to get it. What do you think the latest shab drama is?
[01:11:59] I don't know. That's a weird name Shaw. Shaw. What is it sounds fake?
[01:12:10] Maybe Jewish. I don't know Shaw Charles Schwab. Are you getting vibes from that? No, I'm not getting vibes
[01:12:15] He's he's one of the fighting guys, right? They're all fighting. They're all Joe Rogan's a fighting guy Joe Rogan started that
[01:12:23] Yeah, Bobby Lee's like well Bobby Lee's Korean
[01:12:25] Well, it's just like well Joe Rogan was the first fighting guy that went into comedy just like
[01:12:30] Aziz was the first like wager to do the Indian guy to do a black voice
[01:12:36] You know and then they're like now a million Indian guys. That's true. They do comedy that one. Yeah
[01:12:44] So if anything like it's a testament to the influence of Rogan
[01:12:51] Someone that could potentially be helping us out
[01:12:53] If he wants are we still angling for that? Oh 100. What are we angling for?
[01:12:59] We got to go on and talk about monkeypox
[01:13:02] That's true is yeah, we should be the guys are like this is fake gay people aren't real
[01:13:07] This is just AIDS they're fucking they will they they lost they had all of the attention because of AIDS gay people love getting attention
[01:13:16] Then everybody had a disease so gay people are like well we want the attention need our own
[01:13:21] We're being drama queens so they made up monkeypox. They made it up for attention
[01:13:25] So first of all how come none of the supposed monkeypox. Yeah, how come you've never seen any of these people?
[01:13:30] I've never seen one you're supposed to have like visible symptoms. Yeah, I always think they're only told me around the asshole
[01:13:35] Which it's not that's not how monkeypox works. They say that it's anal lesions anal lesions. That's what I heard
[01:13:44] That's fine. This is kind of like almost like a summer like a southern kind of name
[01:13:48] Analiesia. Yeah. Yeah, is that where you say? Yeah
[01:13:53] This is my welcome to my plantation. Shato do analisian
[01:13:59] Shato Jane Shato analisian. Yeah, that's good. Shato analisian
[01:14:06] Analisian. Yeah, there you go. Analisian the French analisian. Yeah, well, I spent I used to spend my summers in the French analisian
[01:14:14] Yeah, the French analisia. It's a region of
[01:14:19] Southeastern Louisiana. They ain't a lesion
[01:14:22] They ain't a lesions. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a little blister around the asshole that you get from a monkey from a monkey
[01:14:30] Believe it or not. Yeah, I didn't come from no monkey. That's what I said, you know
[01:14:34] You think there's a redneck gay guy that's like I get I get this shit from actually you know what?
[01:14:40] I just remembered that was like one of the first stand-up jokes I wrote
[01:14:43] But make a redneck gay guy finding out where AIDS comes from. Yeah, he's like hell no, I didn't come from no damn monkey
[01:14:51] I got this punishment from god for being a bag
[01:14:56] I didn't come from no monkey. Yeah, no one laughed at that. They didn't like that. No, you were 16 years old. Yeah, they never did well
[01:15:03] Yeah, yeah, people are looking at their notebooks. Well, I guess uh, do you what do you want to do? You want to wrap up then?
[01:15:16] What are our final thoughts? Oh, yeah final thought, but this is just a production meeting. It's a production meeting
[01:15:20] We're briefing about LA comedy. We talked to Craig Buddha
[01:15:24] You took a call to get a answer on this this and that was a very helpful answer
[01:15:28] It was a very helpful answer because I've been just dead in the water with this insurance thing
[01:15:32] I don't know. I guess that's kind of what we've been dealing with this week
[01:15:35] I have no idea how to get general liability insurance. I don't know what it is
[01:15:39] I was just told I needed the day we were supposed to sign the lease. Yeah, and
[01:15:44] No, I don't I don't know what it is. No, we don't know how to ask for it. Apparently everything I say is wrong
[01:15:51] And you've uh, maybe a couple people crying. I should call him as Tommy C. Yeah. Yeah, yo Craig. It's Tommy C
[01:15:58] Craig. It's Tommy C. I got I got I need a yeah, I need a general liability insurance policy
[01:16:05] I have an idea for a business. Yeah, and it's uh big seizures
[01:16:12] So it's pizza place, but there's even more you gave this guy's a killer even more pizza
[01:16:18] Yeah, I'm doing a co-head wire thing with Bobby. We
[01:16:22] I'm opening for Bobby. Me and Bobby. We are co-heading writing. We're doing a tour called the eyelids of comedy